Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2001, July Part: 7 of 2001 Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories and good authors. Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The July 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation: "Explain to me again why you cut off the votes for July at noon and let the January Awards run until midnight?" What could I do besides sigh? I'd told my Muse my reasoning at least a dozen times (okay, three) and she still didn't see the point. "I want to 'cast a streaming video of the awards presentation," I patiently explained, "and I want each presentation to be unique and special for the winners." She looked at me strangely. "And you think a streaming video of you holding a little statuette of a naked silver woman and certificate varnished onto a grey piece of wood is going to make a lasting impression, or increase the thrill of victory?" "It's called 'sharing the joy.' It was, like, Delta's last request. And shared joy is multiplied." Maybe I was spending too much time lurking at Alt.Callahans. "Have you advertised this event on ASSD?" Oops. "No, but the whole of ASSD is waiting eagerly for the awards presentation, and they'll see the post and the link and want to see the presentation." I heard a touch of defensiveness in my own voice. "You just couldn't think of another place to hold the presentation as nice as the Conch Train," she accused. And whose fault was that, anyway. She is my Muse, after all. "I heard that! I suggested the top of the 'Eiffel Tower' at King's Dominion." I tend to forget that Muses read minds. So she'll also get that I'm thinking that freezing temperatures in a closed (for the season) amusement park don't make for a "rewarding" experience, either. "It's a July award. I would have made the temperatures appropriate and the park open." "You could do that?" She could do that. Muses are magical. She just smiled in response. Why hadn't I asked sooner? She answered that one. "You were preoccupied with Fred," she said. I glanced at the carcass of my old computer. "You usually start writing these awards presentations, at least the background, as soon as you announce the finalists." "You really don't like the idea of the streaming video?" "No. And you're already way behind - you're not even dressed." "So I should just announce the winner, apologise, and move on?" She rolled her eyes. "You don't apologise. Your presentation isn't what makes the Silver Clitorides Award special to the recipient - it's the fact that their fans and other writers cared enough to vote for their stories. The Author shared the story, then the readers shared the story - and that's the joy." "You mean I could just sit here in my bathrobe at the keyboard and type, 'The winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for July, 2001 is Why The Bride Was Late by Oosh' and she'd enjoy the award just as much as if I had gathered a crowd at the top of a 1/3 scale Eiffel Tower?" "Well," she smiled tolerantly, "you might have left out the bathrobe and included a link to let people know where to find it. And you might consider adding your congratulations." "No streaming video?" "No streaming video." "Can I at least make jokes about how difficult it must be to walk with all those silver and gold clitties?" "No." "But..." "NO." Fine! So, here I am sitting without my bathrobe at the keyboard, typing: It is my pleasure to announce that the winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for the Best Story of the month of July, 2001 is "Why The Bride Was Late" by Oosh. Congratulations and Well Done! The July 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner: Why the Bride was Late /~oosh/whybride.html by OOSH /~oosh/ +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The July 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards FINALISTS: Papists and Studious Caramel http://pastca.pitas.com/2001_08_01.html by Mark Aster http://pastca.pitas.com/ Why the Bride was Late /~oosh/whybride.html by OOSH /~oosh/ The Palmetto Underwear Incident /~jimmyhat/29.html by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat Taffy Pull /~jimmyhat/30.html by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat The Adventures of Maytag and Stanton /~jimmyhat by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat The Thigh vs Thigh Series http://assm1.asstr.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=Thigh+vs+Thigh&index=subject&submit=Search by Shon Richards /~ShonRichards/ +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The July 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees: Papists and Studious Caramel http://pastca.pitas.com/2001_08_01.html by Mark Aster http://pastca.pitas.com/ Have You Ever /files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2001/31438 by R J Elmer Deep in the Woods /~henlar/woods.html by Henrik Larsen /~henlar/ Italian Vacation /files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2001/31301 by Walt9899 Why the Bride was Late /~oosh/whybride.html by OOSH /~oosh/ The Palmetto Underwear Incident /~jimmyhat/29.html by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat Taffy Pull /~jimmyhat/30.html by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat The Adventures of Maytag and Stanton /~jimmyhat by Jimmy Hat /~jimmyhat Bedtime Stories with Kelly 18 /~Kelly/Kelly18.txt by Kelly Adams /~Kelly/ The Other Side Of The Coin /~Ann_Douglas/coin.htm by Ann Douglas /~Ann_Douglas/ The Thigh vs Thigh Series /~ShonRichards/shon.html by Shon Richards /~ShonRichards/