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From: vickietern@aol.com (VickieTern)
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Subject: {ASSM} Choices by Vickie Tern 2/2 TG F/m Wife
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Date: Sat, 13 Nov 1999 21:10:01 -0500
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{VickieTern} NEW TG: Choices 2/2 F/m Wife
I sat there frightened. It was very late. I felt monumentally
tired, used up. Why had I chosen tonight to force the issue? Had
I? Had this conversation simply evolved of its own will toward
this crux? No matter, I had to face it now or I'd surely lose her!
I myself could feel my own tears rising, of loss, of regret, of
lamentation for what might have been, tears of sorrowful acceptance
rising into my eyes, and I knew that if they actually erupted I'd
lose everything. Claire would leave me, a hopelessly helpless,
indecisive, small-dicked, self-pitying, sobbing wimp. She'd mourn
my loss briefly, until those studs in her Club persuaded her to
forget me.
So I restrained myself, and instead forced myself to speak.
"Claire, I'm not promising anything. But if I were to agree to
attend one of your meetings, just to prove to you that I can do it,
how would that help us? Husband or no husband, how could I deal
with it when I see you and Chuck head toward some suite of rooms
upstairs in this mansion you people meet in, while I'm left
standing alone in some reception area somewhere. What would I have
to imagine while you're with him? At least sitting here I can
imagine anything or nothing, and I always choose to imagine
nothing!"
Claire now stood up unexpectedly, and came over to the large easy
chair I was sitting in and sat down on an arm and leaned way over
me, and kissed me on the lips. Oh so tenderly! So very sweetly!
And again. I began melting!
"Billy my darling," she whispered to me. "My sweet, precious
angel! Don't worry about such things. Your first time everyone
will take good care of you. You won't ever be alone. I promise
you, when Chuck and I next get it on you'll be there, you'll be a
part of it! To watch, maybe even to share! Whichever, it'll be
your choice."
"That's if I decide to go," I insisted.
"Whichever way you decide to go," she replied.
"You mean as a fruit or a whore?"
"That's crude, honey! But whichever. It's altogether your
decision! Maybe you should try out each one first to see which is
more *you*. Which expresses better the way you want to feel when
you're having sex. Are you more one of their kind, or are you one
of my kind? Because there'll be quite a few men who'll want to use
you even your first time, whichever way you flip. Or flop!" She
smiled reassuringly for the first time that evening.
"May I make a suggestion?" She waited for my nod, then kissed me
again before continuing. So soft, her lips! I wanted to do
anything to make her happy. "Honey, choose to be a girl, not a
gay. I love it, being a girl. I think you would too. And I'd love
it for you! But there're other reasons. We have many more men
who prefer girls to boys, so you'd have more choice among them.
Some of the men who prefer men are into really rough sex, even
blood sports -- if you're gay you don't have to go with them, but
you can't always tell, and you'd feel a moral obligation to them
probably. And you're so fragile, so sensitive, sweetheart! I
think you'll be happier developing a feminine personality. Even
though you have so much to learn about being a girl, and even
though you already know enough about being a boy to fake it
convincingly. Once you're a girl, you can always change your mind
and go the other way and become a shemale or a femme boy, if that's
more to your liking. But if you're gay and want to go the other
way, you'd have to start all over again, and go the whole distance!
What she said made sense as an abstract problem in sequencing. I
understood her and nodded. I thought about it, looked into her
face, and then nodded again. "That makes sense," I said.
She altogether misunderstood me! "Then you'll do it? That's your
choice? You'll come as a girl? Oh, darling! I'm so very, very
happy!" She leaned way over and clutched my neck so tightly I
thought I'd choke, and then with a great sigh she began to cover my
face with kisses!
I tried to recover. To pull back. "Now Claire, wait...!"
But it was too late! I wanted to tell her that this was all
hypothetical, but it was already too late! It wasn't hypothetical
for her any longer! She was already very, very happy! She crawled
on top of me in the big easy chair, onto my lap, and she wrapped
herself around me, and then she began giving me long, serious,
responsive kisses. Her free hand reached down toward my altogether
neglected cock and unzipped my fly.
"Oh darling!" she breathed in utter contentment. "Oh, my sweet
baby! We'll have such a good time together! You'll never regret
this. Never!" And gently she began to jerk me off. Slowly. A
sweet yearning rose up in my loins and into my belly and my thighs.
As it intensified she kissed me. "This darling little thing," she
said. "So cute! Practically a clit! We are all going to adore
it! Kiss it, fondle it, tug on it, gays and guys, lesbians and
ladies, everyone!" She manipulated my penis slowly, carefully, and
brought me to an edge. Then slowed. For the rest of our
conversation she kept me just under that edge, enraptured.
"Everyone will take care of me, you said?" I said. I was frankly
frightened. There was no point any more to maintaining a
conditional mode. I had better find out what she's committed me to
do. Find what reassurance I could in whatever she could say.
"Everyone, sweetheart! Let me tell you how. The Club has a
welcoming ceremony for first-time members, and for spouses it's
fully scripted. First, to prove your sincerity, you and Chuck will
make love in public. As a courtesy, because you're mine, and
Chuck's more mine than anyone else's. That means that I'll
ceremonially hand you over to him. Remember that the membership
already thinks Chuck is your girlish heart's desire. Lots of us
are hopeless romantics, and will want to see you fulfill your dream
just as I've described it to them. So you'll suck his cock in
front of everyone, and then wrap your legs around his waist just as
you've always dreamed, supposedly, while he takes your virginity.
And you'll try to be as affectionate with him as any girl can be
when she's with a man who is so marvelously fulfilling her girlhood
fantasies. You'll kiss him all over his face gently but
passionately. Like this."
She did so. Light, soft, dainty pecks lingering for a moment on my
lips when they landed there and pressing delicately against my
cheeks. "Just the way you're now fulfilling my fantasy for me, you
marvelous man! That's the last time I'll be able to call you that,
my dearest girlfriend, a man I mean, but I just had to one more
time!" Her hand magically sustained my cock's delicious intensity
of feeling. I almost rose to cum, then didn't. Then again.
"Then when Chuck's broken in your mouth and your ass you'll belong
to anyone who's attracted to you. That'll be our confirmed gays
first of all, of course. They'll want to use you while you still
more or less resemble a man. But I imagine it'll also be anyone at
all. Some of the girls have been so envious when I've told them
about how wonderful it feels when you suck and lick me after I've
had sex with several men. They'll want to find out for themselves.
And some straight guys want to get at you for their own reasons.
There's a business competitor who told me that you'd once fucked
him out of a contract, so he'd take special pleasure fucking you in
the ass. You might enjoy it too -- we all love it hard, deep, and
relentless some times, don't we? Then there's an old schoolmate of
yours who still admires you and thinks a session of 69ing would be
blissful. And there's an old flame of mine who never got over the
fact that I married you and not him. You may need to watch out for
him. No telling what he'll want from you. He gets pretty wild
with me these days."
I'd never dreamed that anyone I knew belonged to this club of Claire's.
I was appalled. But another warning bell was ringing in my head
from something she'd said.
"Claire, wait a minute. You said that the gays will want to use me
'While I still more or less resemble a man'? What does that mean?"
"Sweetheart! You're a girl! My girlfriend! The straight men in
our Club want to see breasts on their women! Like mine, even
bigger! So we'll start breasts growing on you at once! Don't
worry, you'll feel so good about them you won't be able to imagine
a time when you didn't have breasts. For many reasons, but the
main reason will be that you'll feel so deliciously wicked when you
fondle them!"
"Oh!" was all I could say. I was overwhelmed. I should have
known.
"To get back to it. A first-timer is available to whoever asks,
and a first year girl is always available anyhow -- she's available
to anyone for anything but S&M, unless she's into S&M. You'll be
an available mouth and asshole at first, because you won't yet have
a cunt or breasts! Though the men will call you a cunt even so,
you know how guys talk. You'll be a pretty cunt, I'll bet, when I
get you dolled up and we make a few adjustments in your face and
figure."
"Then at the end of a year's probation you'll decide if you want to
continue as a Club slut for another year, or divorce your wife and
become a male clubmember in your own right, or get a pussy and
become a complete woman member. You'll have full-sized breasts by
then, if only for your own satisfaction, so your men can suckle
them in return for similar favors rendered. Most wives of Club
sluts usually want them to go all the way, to finish up with
everything a girl should have, vagina included. Out of guilt at
depriving them, or to encourage feminist independence, or because
they've already found better men -- different reasons. You'll need
to choose which kinds of breasts you want fairly soon, inserts right
off or wait for your hormones to grow you your own. I favor the
natural kind. They're usually worth the wait."
I tried asking indirectly how much of this was reversible.
"Doesn't anyone just leave after the year? Decide it isn't for
them? How many decide they'd rather be men again?"
This time Claire paused, and looked away. Then toward me. Then
kissed me. Then thought some more, and finally she said, "No,
honey. None. No one ever leaves. No one changes back, either.
It's always been for keeps. They aren't able. You see, they've
gotten accustomed to it all by then. They like it!"
I didn't know what to make of that. As an afterthought Claire
added, "Eunice was our last Club slut. She had to leave town
not long ago when her wife's firm -- it used to be her firm --
relocated in another city. She now tends the household and
entertains clients for her wife, helps out like that, and I hear
she's kept herself busy doing volunteer fucking and sucking among
the underprivileged. Because in a way, she can't help herself now.
I can understand that. Once you're a girl, why should you ever
want to be a man again?"
This was beyond me. I tried again to find some reassuring
precedents, others who had gone where I was now sort of committed
to go. "You said there were already a few other husbands there.
What do they do?"
"Oh, them. All three decided they'd rather be queer. So all three
now are. Their first session turned them on so throughly they now
spend all their time with each other, and two of their wives are
divorcing them. It's ironic. When the divorces go through they
could revert and go straight and fuck anybody. But the chances are
they'll be so busy sucking each other's dicks and burying them in
each other's rear ends that they'll never notice."
She continued to slide her palm up and down my cock. I was in
ecstasy. But my mind wasn't altogether euphoric.
"Claire, please don't take offense. I have to be honest with you
now. It's one thing to hear about these things, but it's another
to actually do them. I know it's silly, and it's wrong, and I
shouldn't, but my mind still keeps finding all kinds of objections
and inhibitions and resentments. There's Chuck for example. I
understand everything you've said. But how can I let the man who's
fucked my wife fuck me? How can I suck a cock that she's sucked?
It's like conferring a Good Housekeeping seal of approval on my
arch rival. Moreover, I've always been faithful to you. But now
you tell me I'll need to become promiscuous, a slut, and have sex
with anyone of any sex or gender or sexual preference. How can I
do that and do it with sincerity? My heart wouldn't be in it!"
Curled up on my lap, Claire kissed my nose. "My dear darling! I
know it's difficult. I was hoping you wouldn't raise that issue
until tomorrow -- it's so very late now. The problem is, you're
still thinking like a man. Like a husband. And that's the next
thing we need to talk about. Since you're now willing to meet all
the conditions I've mentioned, I've got to tell you how you'll meet
them. By fulfilling one more condition. Not by choosing to
fulfill it. Here you don't get a choice. By submitting to it."
I was far from feeling easy about the way this conversation had
gone. In fact I was apprehensive. What had I agreed to do, or
seemed to agree to do? I couldn't imagine myself actually
fulfilling any of these things. But did I have a choice? Really,
it seemed my choice was, do it or walk away from my marriage.
"Submit? What else can there be? You want me to play the pansy
slut at these meetings of yours. What more is there?"
"Not pansy, darling. A gay man can be a pansy, but not you.
You're a girl. As of right now. Right now the two of us are
girlfriends, not man and wife, and we're lesbians too, sort of."
She kissed me as if to confirm the point, then smiled into my face.
"We'll stay married, I'll never want to give you up, but we're no
longer equal partners. You see, the one additional condition is
that you submit to me. That whatever I want, you'll want me to
have. And that you'll do everything I want you to do."
I was silent, a little puzzled.
"I know, that's how a gentleman always feels about the lady he
loves. But in this case it's also necessary. It's a formal
condition of our relationship from now on. You obey me. Whatever
I want, you'll do, and whatever I want you'll *want* to do. That's
essential."
"You see, sweetie, to become the girl you need to be, you'll need
guidance. You'll want it. I know you don't feel that way yet, but
don't worry, you will. You'll change so much faster, your desire
to please others will grow so much stronger when my desires for you
become yours. If your greatest happiness is seeing me smile at
you. If my approval sends you into ecstasies. We can arrange it.
There are training programs that accomplish this, and if you can't
achieve it on your own, there are drugs that can help you."
"At first it'll be easy. You'll feel more like a girl the moment
you look more like one and begin to practice being one, and that's
tomorrow. Nothing much, just a beauty salon and shop for some
clothes and get your hormone regimen established -- no cosmetic
surgery at all until later, when we see what's necessary. Tomorrow
we'll play. It'll be such fun! Like when I was a little girl
playing with my dollies!"
"The second step is more difficult. It isn't easy to learn to
think like a girl instead of a man. To get so you really want to
do what girls do. I'll help you there too, but now that you've
finally agreed to all this I mean to get away for a while to do
something else I've had in mind. Now I'll know that you're too
busy to be sitting at home moaning and sulking because I'm
somewhere else. So someone else will take over for me. This next
stage takes time, weeks maybe. But you'll enjoy it, believe me.
The woman I have in mind for you will use only positive
reinforcement of different kinds, from a hand gently tugging on
your penis while she talks to you, like mine right now, that's one
kind, to certain kinds of suggestions she'll implant whenever
you're in an appropriately receptive state of mind. Maybe you'll
embrace your femininity to escape the way she'll humiliate your
manhood. You'll see. When she's done you'll love doing whatever
you're asked, and in no time you won't want things any other way!"
"The really hard part comes with heightening the intensity of your
desires, so you become in some ways insatiable. That's the third
stage. You see darling, a willingness to do the job isn't enough.
You'll need to be eager to swallow all that cum out of all those
cocks and pussies. Not just mine, anyone's. You'll practically
have to live for it to be of use to us. Beg for it. Crave it and
feel joyous when it's about to happen! Now, that requires radical
behavior modification. Special training and conditioning full time
for at least a month."
She paused. I was still silent, trying to absorb it all, so she
continued. "That takes professionals, and a special school you'll
attend. The people who'll actually be training you are first
class, thoroughly experienced. I don't doubt that you'll be all we
hope for in plenty of time for your debut in ... let's say ... six
weeks! You won't recognize yourself!"
I was addled. The lateness of the hour, the deliciously
distracting yearning in my crotch. Her hand slipping up and down
on my penis. I couldn't think. "Full time you say? For six
weeks? What about my work?"
"Quite impossible from now on, sweetheart. Preparing for this new
role is your work. I'll make arrangements tomorrow for a three
month leave of absence for you. When you resign at the far end of
the three months, if you do it in person you'll create quite a
sensation! By then you'll be gorgeous!"
This was a late-night hallucination! It had to be! I tried
finding some place in the soft ground where I could dig in my
heels. "Claire, what can you be training me for that it's so
necessary for me to quit work? Your Club meets only evenings,
and only once a week." I was trying at that point to test my
sanity.
"Well, really, Billy, a Club slut is special. What we'll want
is for you to walk around in a dazed haze of erotic desire all
the time. To think about it all the time. Because between
meetings, you'll be on call. All the time. Don't worry, the
membership will pay you something for your services. Not
well, but enough for you to understand you're our whore, not
yet an equal member with the rest of us, that you're performing for
money no matter how sincerely you may also want to please us.
That way you can measure the satisfaction you're providing by
the tips you've earned. You'll pay your dues and help here with
household expenses. If you need more you'll earn it on the street.
You'll find you've been as well-trained as any professional!"
"And you'll love your trainer. Erika is her name. She's available
now, as it happens. A woman with a wonderful force of character,
really overwhelming. I'm sure she'll begin very gently with you at
first, probably nothing more than rewards granted or deferred. But
I'll bet that within two weeks you'll be blissful when she fucks
you with her dildo. That you won't feel complete when she isn't
mounted on you."
"It won't be you?"
"Me? Oh, Bill, no! I need to be held in reserve for you. I'm the
woman you really love, remember! I'm the highest pinnacle of your
joy! Pleasing me will be your loftiest aspiration. Now and then
you'll be allowed near me, on some really rare occasion when you're
fully trained. I may even let you back into my bedroom then."
She wriggled on my lap, her hand still stroking me. Her bottom
felt moist. No, wet. She had indeed been leaking, the whole time.
"You see, sweetie, Chuck and I will be going away for a week or two
as soon as you're set up with Erika, now that I know you won't be
sitting here alone pining away for me. We've wanted to for the
longest time. I want to condition him to recover erections more
quickly, so he can last as long as I want him to last. And install
some other little reflexes he doesn't need to know are there. Then
when he can go all night I'll want him upstairs with me in our
bedroom, snugged into me all night, at least for a few weeks, maybe
more. Don't look so downcast, you'll scarcely notice! You'll move
into the guest room with Erika. She's the woman you'll want to learn
to please now. I'll have higher expectations you can't possibly hope
to meet for many weeks."
"You see, darling, you're still too accustomed to thinking of me as
your wife, not your girlfriend. Be happy that your girlfriend is now
free to play with her boyfriend whenever she wants to. Get used to it.
You have so much to get used to! I mean, you've never even had a
tampon in your pussy, much less a butt plug or dildo, or the
ultimate fulfillment, a real cock. So Erika will go slow. We'll
just put you on high hormone doses and watch you closely and see
what happens naturally. Your mind will change along with your
body, so you'll always feel comfortable as it happens."
My face must have looked as appalled as I felt, because she
reassured me. "Believe me honey, you'll get into it! I've had
lots of experience with submissive men, and you're a natural."
"Why are you so sure?"
"I can sense it. I know. Watch!"
She suddenly let go of my member and wriggled clear of my lap and
stood up. Then hiked up her skirt -- I saw it had a drenched area
just as my pants did -- and lay down on her back in the carpet, all
the while looking at me. She spread her legs wide and gestured to
me with both hands. I could see she'd come home without any
panties. There was her slit in the lamplight, puffed out,
distended, glistening, pooled with opalescent fluids, her whole
bottom slick.
"Do you want to bury your face in there, Billy?"
I tried to pull out of it. "Claire," I began.
Then failed. "Yes" is all I said. It had been so long!
"See?" She said. Then "Do it!"
A second later she was saying "Ohhhh, that's so goooood!" her
thighs holding my head tightly to her quim in a loving hug. I
couldn't bend my neck, and I could barely breathe! But I didn't
care!
Her fingers were running through my hair. She gripped it
"Yes," she said. "I think I prefer you as my girlfriend, not my
faggot roomie or my former hubbie. If it's girls you've always
loved, that's what you should become. There's more chance then that
you'll love what you've become. Yessssss! I will miss that tongue
of yours until Erika can certify that the rest of you is ready!
Oooohhhhhh, yessssss!"
And she came, her thighs tightening and hips in spasm, lurching my
head and neck uncontrollably.
Then she rose, and gestured me to sit back down again. "It's
nearly four now, my lovely darling. Let's fuck now this one last
time together as husband and wife. My sweet girl. My sweet slut
girl. You *will* love it! It'll be perfect for you! No more
choices! No more anxieties. No more worrying. You'll go with me
to all our meetings whenever I go, and to lots of others in between
on your own. Always eager to help. Never questioning anything.
You'll blow anyone I ask, and suck anyone who asks you! It will be
wonderful. I love you. Here, put yourself into me now, and add
your cum to the other cum inside me from tonight. Maybe for the
last time."
She lifted herself up and dropped her crotch down on me, and writhed
up and down a few more times. I felt a wet warmth on my cock, humid,
slippery, though I couldn't feel her pussy at all. She slid up and
down on me again, and then I felt myself shooting off inside her as
if into moist air. At last! Heaven! Breathing heavily, I hugged
her, and she hugged me back.
I felt blissfully happy at that moment. And finally, for some reason,
I started to cry.
End
(c) 1999 by Vickie Tern. May be freely archived in free archives, but
let me know. Other arrangements by prior arrangement.
VickieTern@AOL.COM
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