Message-ID: <20366eli$9903060426@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/20366.txt> From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com Subject: The Annex Reviews, 3/5/99 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <f03d4e95.36e04de8@aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes The stories: Bedtime Stories #4: Panties?, by Moontan96 (M/F, femdom, no panties) Fun in the Sun, by Sympathy (M/F teen, first) God's Great Plan, by Al Steiner (M/F teen, first, breast, lact, oral, anal) Critics, by anonymous (M/F teen, TV, humor) Scottish Dance, by Michael Gouda (M/M, rom, crime drama) Website Review: Keiko Bedtime Stories #4: Panties? [A] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 2/19/99 Author: Moon Tan 96 Address: moontan96@aol.com This is one of those second-person stories where the narrator tells the reader what she does/wears/feels in his secret fantasy: "What really knocks me out is your dress. A clinging, short, black, cocktail dress with a halter top, leaving your beautiful back and shoulders bare...this sexy dress was never intended to be worn with a bra and your breasts bounce and sway freely under the thin material which also does a poor job of concealing the beautiful outlines of your delicious nipples." The narrator then dares his date to go without her panties, and she does. When they get home later they have sex, and surprisingly she's the one who takes the aggressive role: "You've got a lot of nerve parading me around all over town in that short assed dress without panties! It's bad enough that every man who saw me watched my tits jiggling but did you really have to keep lifting my dress and squeezing my ass? I' ve never been so close to naked and aroused in public! You're gonna get it now!" I admit I'm not as prejudiced against second-person stories as I used to be (time mellows one in this business) and I found this story pretty hot, and an entertaining read. The couple had some good smutty fun without being too crass and no one gets hurt or humiliated. It was just the sort of thing I wanted to read, and I'm glad I did. Fun in the Sun [B-/C+] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 2/15/99 Author: Sympathy Address: sympathy@hotmail.com Stories about teenagers are always hard to write. The characters either come across as sounding acting too adult or, if written by a teenager, naively psychotic (as in the abysmal "Thrasher Girls" which I reviewed a few weeks ago.) It's very rare when an author can capture an authentic voice. This story, sadly, failed, even though I was rooting for it. Sympathy is a gorgeous 18-year-old who leaves the family farm in search of adventure--I guess the story takes places place in the Midwest somewhere--and soon meets a good-looking man named Kurt who picks her up in his truck. On the spur of the moments he stops by a river for a swim--nude, as it turns out-- and after some cajoling she joins him. He tempts her into having sex with him and there's the added delight of special hot springs in the river which serve to get them in the mood. This story had a lot going for it--the unique name of the heroine, the hot springs, the good-naturedness of it--but the writing was clumsy needed a lot of work, in particular the dialogue: "Hello, my name is Sympathy and of I knew where I was going I'd take you up on your offer. You wouldn't happen to know of any farm around here that needs a milk maid or extra hand would you?" I didn't think people talked like this outside of 1950s television shows. In sum, this wasn't great, but I encourage the author to keep developing his or her craft. God's Great Plan [A+] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 2/10/99 Author: Al Steiner Address: al_steiner@hotmail.com This story, in contrast, was a very good example of a teen voice written well. Thirteen-year-old Jason goes to see his friend, who comes from a family of bible-thumping religious fanatics, and winds up spending the afternoon with his friend's mother. She pulls out a tit to nurse her newborn son Kyle, and the action starts rolling: "Kyle only emptied one breast but I have to drain both of them. I have a breast pump but it's kind of uncomfortable." "Yeah?" I said, naively not getting her. "So would you mind, " She continued. "Uh, draining the other breast for me?" We proceed there to mutual stimulation, oral sex, genital sex, and finally anal sex, with each episode dismissed by Mrs. Tilden as part of "God's Great Plan." The story is told in first-person voice by a man looking back on his youth, and his younger self's increasing arousal and confusion are vividly portrayed as is the slow, sneaky buildup each sex act got. I began to think, "No, wait, he can't possibly top this, they can't be doing *that* next," but they did, and continued to do it, the rationale being that Mr. Tilden, believing he's reached his quota of offspring, has decoded to abstain from sex with his wife as his part of interpretation of "God's Great Plan." Oh yes, and then there's that very catchy refrain which is used very effectively throughout the piece. Read this: it's light entertainment with a little bit of profundity, and oddly respectful to the characters even with all the sex that occurs. Critics [A] Where posted: ASS When posted: 2/5/99 Author: Anonymous Poster: Articera Address: endlend@hotmail.com I downloaded this story a while ago and put it on the back burner, but the recent death of Gene Siskel inspired me to review it, and I was glad I did. A teenage couple (yes, another teenage story) go to a motel to have sex, but unbeknownst to them their actions are being broadcast across the country. Siskel and Ebert then review the sex in progress, making comments: "Tim is showing exceptional patience," Gene stated, "and an apparent willingness to satisfy the Sheila's sexual desires before satisfying his own." "I wouldn't be so sure of that," countered Roger. "A strong, experienced tongue such as his is bringing him as much pleasure as she is receiving! It is clearly mutual and simultaneous satisfaction. Certainly a good performance." In the end they both give the act a strong thumbs-up. This one of the stories periodically posted by Articera, a pay source for stories, and I don't usually review them because they aren't very interesting. But this humorous piece surprised and delighted me. I only wish the author was listed so I could give him or her proper credit. Scottish Dance [A+] Where posted: ASS When posted: 2/6/99 Author: Michael Gouda Address: stachys@eurobell.co.uk Michael Gouda has written an absorbing series of tales, of which this is the fifth, about Keith Hatch, a gay police officer in the United Kingdom. I reviewed the first, "Killer," last year and it made a good impression on me, so I picked up this one. These stories have a very different flavor than American ones. The characters inhabit a comfortable gay subculture that exists side-by-side with the straight world, but it has its problems (prejudice, outing, finding a good gay bar, etc.). They also aren't afraid to indulge in the razor-sharp repartee of flaming queens and laugh at themselves for it. The emphasis is on relationships and romance with some true-crime and mystery thrown in, and in "Scottish Dance" it's the arson of a gay Internet cafe. Sergeant Hatch has gone to Edinburgh for the August arts festival with his young partner Phil (who kept me in stitches with his sarcastic asides) and his former lover, Alan, whom he had remained friends with. Intrigue develops as an old enemy butts into Keith's and Phil's relationship and Alan picks up a young Costa Rican student who gives him the "el beso negro," also known as the black kiss (you can guess what it is.) But when the cafe is torched the student becomes a suspect...along with a young actor and the two thugs who've been harassing the quartet, and Phil and Alan decide to play detective to get to the bottom of the mystery. This was an excellent story with a lot of meat to it (pardon the pun) and the mystery kept me guessing until the end. The author has really done his work in capturing the flavor of the Edinburgh arts festival; I know, because I was there. In fact, I even ran into Margaret Thatcher. But that's another story... Anyway, read this for excellent romance and relationship drama, and look up the previous stories, which are archived at the Nifty Archives, as well. Website Review: Keiko's Home Page Address: http://members.aol.com/keiko19/index.html Owner: Kieko19@aol.com This page is an odd mixture of porn and Hello Kitty. Keiko, a Japanese student attending college in Honolulu, is an avowed exhibitionist and invites us to read her accounts of the naughty things she was done. The background is of yellow smiley faces, with some gifs of coyly posed anime (Japanese cartoons) girls with big innocent eyes; it makes a rather alarming contrast with the stories, which contain lines like: "I slowly spread my legs apart and he is able to clearly see I now have a wet spot on my sheer white bikini panties. I am sure he is able to view my pussy lips easily through the panty material." This, however, we can put down to cultural differences, as in Japan it's not all unusual to mix raunchy sex with a syrupy cuteness. And that's just what Keiko has done, which is quite an accomplishment as she also had to translate the stories from Japanese. In "A Fantasy" Keiko reveals her undies to young artist in a cafe, while in "My Paperboy Adventure" she allows a young boy to peak in as she gets dressed and undressed. She even indulges in a little bit of bondage in "Tied on the Balcony" for the benefit of some stuffy Japanese businessmen below (she's in Waikiki when she does this.) But she gets the last laugh, as she's not really tied at all, and teases them unmercifully as she sheds her dress. How well you like this site depends on how much you buy into these fantasies. Keiko's voice seems like a genuine one and realizing that it is a real person living and describing these stories, an amateur, lends them an arousal quotient that goes beyond their literary qualities. I suppose that if Keiko really got off on exhibiting herself, she would have included some pictures; but given the danger of stalkers, perhaps she was just being wise. If you want some mild cross-cultural entertainment, and some tales of self-display, check out this site. Interface: B+ Content: B+ Will I visit again: Not sure. Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/>----<http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/faq.html>