Message-ID: <7158eli$9803221754@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
From: hairyelephant@a-vip.com (The Hairy Elephant)
Subject: {ASS} The Hairy Elephant Revewes
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Moderator's comment ------
With that spelling of "review", I'd think a sheep would be a better
mascot animal. :^)
------ end comment
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HELLO DUD3Z AND DUD3TT3Z WELCUM TO A NEW REVEWE COLUMN WHICH I'LL BE WRITING
EVERY WEEK JUST FOR YOU! FORGET READING ALL THE OTHERS - THIS COLUMN WILL
RULE!!!!!!
Theres only a few story revewes this week but this'll pick up as we get going
and I'll try to revewe a story every night this week so next time this should
be a MEGA PACKET OF REVEWES!
=============================================================================
STORY REVEWE 1: NEW "Revelations" FM (MF)F cons
by Sven the Elder
Sven's wife asks him to go and help Francis. I almost stopped reading there,
because I don't want no gay shit, but kept going and soon found that Francis
is female. Why do authors have to give hot women male names????? Are they
tryin to freak the readers out???
Then we get Francis's life history, which seems to go on FOREVER, and at the
end of that we get told Francis is 50 wich is another downer. But I kept going
because this is my first revewe and all, and after Sven finally gets there he
has sex with Francis. It's a vile image, but the narrative doesn't remind us
about the age thing so if you just imagine that the participants are thirty
or something it's quite hot. Then Sven's wife arrives and they have a
threesome.
The only problem with this is that Sven is a sexual wimp. He cums as soon as
he gets inside Francis, then again, and his wife only gets satisfied by a
masseuse. This means the sex scenes are all about ten seconds long and there's
practically no ff action! And there's a disgusting ending where Sven is booked
in with the masseuse! Why do authors have to ruin quite-good stories with shit
like this!
PETER METER
| / 70 degrees - hard.
o| / Too much story, not enough sex, which is a shame
| / because the sex is rather good.
|/
|O
=============================================================================
STORY REVEWE 2: THE CONQUEST (written by Mystery Girl)
by Mystery Girl
Alexis is the kind of girl that never seems to come to my school. If only she
did, she wouldn't have to masturbait herself to sleep every night or arrange
for nighttime meetings with people she meets on IRC. But, feeling the lack
of my nine inches, she sneaks out to a hotel one night for a session of weird
sex.
I was very worried that the sex was going to turn out to be too kinky, but
in the end it's rather good. I can't imagine why anyone would want to do it
like this, because I LIKE TO SEE THE EXTASY ON THEIR FACES AS THEY CUM AND
CUM AND CUM, but I guess it takes all sorts.
The real problem with this story is realism. The idea that two people who
want sex could meet on IRC is laughable. Whenever I go online and say "ANY
CUTE GIRLZ WANNA HAVE FUN WITH MY NINE INCHES" I don't get no answers. I guess
it must be full of gays or other sick pervs.
And I was also disappointed that Alexis never tries seducing any of her family;
I mean, why bother with all the rigmarole when she could be banged into EVERY
NIGHT by her father, brother and sisters. Oh yes, reading the story it seems
that Alexis has never thought of seducing another women. Huh.
Or at least she could have found some decent cock to sit on. When this guy
finally cums he's out like a light. Bummer. Why can't people aim for more
realistic stories? I reckon too many authors still haven't realised that REAL
MEN CAN CUM TWICE!!! Sometimes three times if I'm really turned on.
Despite the drawbacks it's a good story.
PETER METER
| / 75 degrees - hard as nails
o| / Alexis should come and be beamed by the nine-inch
| / beam her story has created!
|/
|O
--
Everyone loves the Hairy Elephant.
--
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