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From: tigger@alices.com (Tigger)
Subject: ASSM Revised Story: A Go-No Go Test Part 2 of 2 (FemDom, Romance, TV)
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A Go No Go Test
by Tigger with Vickie Tern 
(she said I did not need to name her as co-author,
 so I didn't ... sorta)

Part II

The hall was empty.  

I was alone, and I would now have to face a life alone
without her.  

Tears burned at my eyes, and I blinked hard to hold them
back.  Not now, I thought, and not here.  I could hold out
until I was in my rooms, couldn't I?

Maybe.

Slowly, I turned toward the stairs and began to move stiffly
in the strange high heels.

"Oh Henry?"  

Her voice echoed softy, teasingly from behind me.  I spun
about quickly, almost falling, and saw her standing there,
partially hidden by the still opened door.  She was
*smiling*.  I did not dare ask, but she spoke first.  

"Well done, darling."  

She walked up and stood on tip toe to kiss my lips.  It felt
so . . . different when the lipstick was on my side of the
kiss. 

She saw me licking at my lips after the kiss, tasting for
the first time the creamy color.  Her smile broadened.  "It
feels different, doesn't it, darling, almost like a woman
kissing a woman, doesn't it?"

"Yes Mistress".  I felt so relieved my eyes began to tear up
again.  She noticed and handed me a tissue.  

"Careful of your mascara," she said.   "We want to keep it
looking nice, don't we?  You worked very hard to give that
to me and I don't want you to damage your gift to me."

"Yes, Mistress,"  I sniffled as I blotted gently at my eyes. 

"I see that you've given me all your body and facial hair,
even your moustache, so that you've now dedicated the way
you look to pleasing me.  Never mind what others may think
about how you look. Isn't that so?" Slowly I nodded and she
grinned, teasingly. "You'll have a lot to explain in the
office on Monday, but you have nothing further to explain to
me, do you?"  

With the terror-driven adrenalin rush waning, the import of
what I had just done to my appearance hit me full in the
face.  I had made major changes to my appearance, and many
of those changes would not wash away like the cosmetics
currently highlighting my features.  

A devilish smile answered my look of confused horror, but
then, her hand touched mine in an almost surreptitious show
of support.  And it was, suddenly, all right.

That one moment, those two seemingly discordant gestures,
were like an epiphany for me, a revelation.  It was all
there for me, at last.  On one hand, she was testing me,
pushing me and the limits I thought I still had, and yet,
with her other hand, she supported me and assured me that
she was there for me.

Up until that very instant, I had only *thought* that I had
given myself to her.  I had been wrong in that, because I
had not fully understood before that the giving went both
ways.  Yes, she would test me in the future, and she would
still be able to find those little dark places in my soul
that frightened me.  And she would take me to those places
because it gave her pleasure to see me accept those
torments, to see me fight those dragons, but that was all
right.  She was my Mistress - I would do those things for
her and she would protect me even as she pressed me to give
more than I thought I had to give.

In that moment, the gift was truly given.

"No, Mistress." I said quietly.  "I am so very happy that
you have accepted my gift."

"No, Henry, what you gave me was really already mine. What I
have accepted is what your gift represents to you, and the
fact that you *chose* to give it.  Remember, your body and
facial hair were always mine to dispense with as I chose.
But this time, *you* chose to live without those outward
symbols of your masculinity in order to make yourself a more
credible woman, *for* me, but not because I had ordered it
of you."

"Yes Mistress."  I wasn't sure where she was going, but she
wasn't angry with me, so  I was content.  Content to listen,
content to see where she wanted to take us, and content to
follow where she led.

"You did it because you *knew* that is what I wanted for you
and from you, dear.  Because your soul *is* mine.  But
tonight, you gave me a part of your soul I had never asked
for, and more importantly, you gave it without my asking."

She grinned gently at the confusion I was feeling at her
words, and then took my hand in hers.  "Come, let's go back
into my bedroom."

Once inside those walls again, she led me to the front of
her full length mirror and stood just behind me, caressing
my blouse, adjusting my skirt, massaging the still tense
muscles in my shoulders, neck and back.

"What do you see, Henry.?"

"A woman." Then I realized that was wrong. Surprised by what
I saw, my voice dropped to an awed whisper.  "Two women,
Mistress."

"Yes, dear. That is what I see, too. Do you see Henry
there?"

"No." my voice broke as I began to see what she was getting
at.

"No, and neither do I.  If I had seen anything of Henry when
you walked out into the hallway just now, you would have
walked down the hall and out the front door, to make your
way home looking like Henry in women's clothing.  The inside
door to your apartment above the garage is locked. No matter
the embarrassment to you if anyone had seen you creeping up
the stairs to the apartment.  I wouldn't have cared because
you would not have been able to care enough for me to give
me this part of you.  You would have been of no further
interest to me.  But to become this woman you see, you had
to sacrifice all of Henry's appearance, didn't you?"    

"Yes." The word barely got out as I realized how close I had
come this day to losing her.

Her hand came up to stroke my hair. "I had no doubts when I
set this test for you, darling.  You love me too much not to
have done your very best, and so you did.  No one can see
Henry in this woman." 

Again, she soothed me, brought me back just a step from the
edge of my terror.  "Her hair needs work," she commented in
an objective tone. "And it needs to be longer and maybe just
a touch lighter, but it isn't too bad,  It's a woman's hair. 
You'd want it to look even more like a woman's hair if you
knew how to style it, wouldn't you?  For me?" 

I could not speak, I could only nod my agreement to anything
that would make her happy.

Pleasure at my nonverbal agreement shown in the eyes of the
other woman in the mirror.  "And for anyone who might see
you, in the street, as well.   In the mall, for example.  A
woman dresses to be seen.  She makes herself beautiful to be
seen and valued by many, knowing she belongs to just one
person and is all the more valuable for that.  Isn't that
so?"

"Yes Mistress." I put my hands together in front of me,
hoping to stop the sudden shaking of my fingers.

"Well, now that you are quite presentable, I want you to be
seen.  I want your soul's new look appraised and found fully
feminine.  My soul's new appearance.  Do you understand?"

"Yes Mistress."  A pang shot up in me, but it wasn't
terrifying, not at all. I stared mournfully at the woman I
had made myself in the mirror.  She was standing legs apart
and hands at her sides a little awkwardly,.  I raised one
hand to the front of my waist and held it there, as if a
purse were clutched under my elbow, and I pushed an unruly
lock of hair back into alignment with the other hand.  I
wished I could look prettier for her.

That thought became words before I realized I was speaking. 
"I wish I could be prettier for you, Mistress."

"You will be, sweetheart," she assured me.  From nowhere she
suddenly produced a purse.  "Let's go!"

"Where?!"  Suddenly I panicked.  "Into the street? Dressed
like this?"  My voice cracked into a two octave squeak.

She kissed me again, lipstick on lipstick. "That's right,
dear. We'll leave my slave Henry behind - that silly, hairy
man who was so afraid to become what I wished him to become,
that he used his safe word. But I don't see anything of him
here, do you?" she said, waving her hand negligently toward
the reflections in the mirror.

"No," I had to admit, staring into the mirror.

"I want now to be served by a beautiful woman.  Do you wish
to become that woman?"

"Oh, god! Yes, Mistress, please!"

"Then let's go. Just a moment while I pick up that videotape
I made of you dressing yourself, through the one-way mirror. 
It will help Mistress Vera set up a schedule for you.  That
way, she can teach you what you need to learn all the more
efficiently, and return to me looking not merely acceptable,
as you are now, but as I said a short while ago, looking
*superb*. I *want* nothing less and I will *accept* nothing
less." 

Her face had become momentarily stern but then broke into an
enthusiastic and excited smile.  "There are *so* many
wonderful new things we can do together when you and I are
just two women out and about together." she almost gushed,
shocking me at this glimpse of another facet of the woman I
loved. "And I have no reason to be ashamed to be seen with
you, because you have no reason to feel ashamed of what you
are."

Her hand took my free arm and pulled me toward the door with
surprising strength.  "Now, come on.  I phoned Mistress Vera
and told her that we'd be late, but she's waiting for us
now."

"Mistress!"  I didn't know what I wanted to say.  I felt a
little proud of my reflection in the mirror, with its slim
legs and coifed, neatly made-up face, but I was still
frightened by the unknown.

She heard what I could not say.  "No fear, love.  I see you. 
You see you.  Henry has seen you. You are already a woman in
other people's eyes, and that confirms what you are in your
own eyes.  Besides," and her eyes sparkled wickedly, "You
don't really know if I was alone behind that one-way mirror,
watching you, do you?  I have friends I might have called in
to ask for advice.  Your feminine self may now already exist
in other women's minds." she paused for that to sink in
completely before continuing in a soft, sly tone,  "Maybe
not only women's minds.  I *do* have some men friends, too,
darling."

Open mouthed at that thought, I could only stare at her. 
She relaxed the grip on my arm and stood back to give me a
little space to recover from that.  "Do you really mind
now?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper.  "Does that
really matter so very much to you now, my soul's delight?"

I wasn't perfectly sure.  I wasn't upset, but neither was I
overjoyed.

She saw that, too, and nodded, and then took me gently by
the elbow and led me out the door and down the hall.  As I
started down the steps, I looked back at that room Henry had
entered just two hours earlier,  frightened and desperate; a
room in which this incredible transformation had just taken
place.  In that moment, the Henry who entered that room
seemed like another person altogether.  A person to whom the
mere thought of being seen cross dressed by anyone other
than Mistress was so frightening that he had nearly risked
all, and had almost sacrificed all to his fear.  

That room was now empty.  There was no sign of Henry, not in
there, and not in the front foyer's mirror either where I
rechecked my hairdo once more as my beloved Mistress opened
the front door to her house and held it open for me, waiting
for me to pass through.  Still a little unsteady on my
heels, I clutched my purse in both of my hands and stepped
past her.

"Darling?" her voice said from behind me as I stepped out
the front door and into the light. "I promised you that I
would wait until you were ready.  That is a very big first
step you just took.  Are you *really* ready?"

Only one answer came to mind.  "Yes, Mistress. *Very*
ready."

The smile that answered my own was one I did not often earn,
soft and full of love.  "Then, so am I, darling, so am I. 
Now, move that cute butt, darling.  Just wait till you see
the outfits Mistress Vera has laid out for you." 

Her voice dropped into a credible impersonation of the
singer, Cher, as she sang.  "She was a  . . .

        *V* . . *A* . . *M* . . *P*, *VAMP*!"

My secret fantasy.  She had done it again!  The tremor that
ran chills up and down my spine reminded me of the very
important lesson I had learned earlier in the morning.  She
would always find a new way to reach me, to teach me and
most importantly, to love me.  

And it would be grand. 


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