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From: tariat@aol.com (TariaT)
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Subject: {ASS} Review #3: One Perfect Rose by Taria
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This story continues a plot-line begun by Celeste and continued by Sandman. 
Before you read this you absolutely have to read Celeste's original, "The
Review," <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7611.txt> and Sandman's "The
Review 2: The Bedroom Window." <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8433.txt>

*********************

The Review -- Part Three
"One Perfect Rose"

by Taria


(for Celeste)

_____________________________


Rose hung up the phone with a click.

"Who was it, honey?" Claire asked.

"Oh, nobody," Rose answered.

Claire tilted her head, letting her luxurious mane of graying salt-and-pepper
hair hang down.  She resumed towelling off from her shower, but continued to
look pointedly at Rose.

Rose smirked back at her, impishly.

Claire snorted.  "The hell you say!  I know that look.  You're starting up with
the neighbors again, aren't you?"

Rose's smirk widened into a grin.

Claire closed her eyes and shook her head.

Rose giggled.

"That's very undignified, in a woman your age."

Rose giggled some more.  "You should talk.  You're fifty-five, if you're a
day."

Claire glared at her, and dropped her towel.  She propped her hands on her hips
and posed, naked and still dripping at her elbows and the ends of her hair.

"I ask you," she challenged.  "Does this look like a body that dates back to
1943?"

Rose walked over to her until she stood directly under Claire's chin.  "Yes it
does," she said.  "Wanna make something of it?"

"Nag," hissed Claire.

"Hag," Rose shot back.

"Old biddy."

"Senior citizen."

"Saggy old bag."

"Post-menopausal shrew."

"Kiss me, old woman."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Claire bent toward Rose, her mouth open.  Rose got up on her tiptoes and met
Claire's lips with her own.  For a long moment the two women kissed deeply. 
Rose pulled back first, but let her extended tongue twine with Claire's before
they broke off the kiss entirely.  She sank back onto her heels and sighed with
satisfaction.

"You still remember how to kiss, at least," she said.  Claire smiled briefly. 
Then she picked up her towel and went back to drying herself off.

"So who was it this time?  Celeste again?" she asked, feigning a lack of
curiosity.

"No," said Rose.  "Too early yet."

"Who, then?  The condo board?"

Rose winked a long, slow wink.  "You know better than that," she said.  "If
they even suspected what was going on in 4B and 4C we'd be out on our fannies
in a minute."

Claire nodded.  "School Board?  Town Council?  Mayor's Office?"

Rose chuckled.  "Those are daytime calls, you know that!  No, it was Janet. 
You know, the cute little thing who lives next door to Celeste.  The one with
the husband who's always on the computer."

Claire looked baffled.  "Sure, I know Janet.  But why're you bothering her?"

Rose waggled her eyebrows.  "Groundwork," she said.

Claire looked directly at her.  "You ARE angling for Celeste, after all!  But
what is it this time?  Communists in the classrooms?  The Monica Lewinsky
Liberal Conspiracy?  Recruiting for the Rush Limbaugh in 2000 campaign?"

Rose shook her head no.  "Two words: school band."

"Oh, Jesus H.," said Claire, exasperated.  "Not the trip to Epcot Center!"

Rose nodded gleefully.  "Uh-huh!  And I tacked that on to the Gay Pride Day
celebration they're having.  I tried to talk Janet into an all-out protest to
suspend the trip."

"You can't be serious!"

Rose nodded again, and sank down into the overstuffed chair next to the phone. 
"You still haven't figured out why I called Janet, have you?"

Claire looked baffled.

"Because," said Rose, as she picked up the phone.  "When I called Janet, I
mentioned Celeste at least four or five times."  She gestured toward Claire
with the receiver.  "She may not have been listening to me, but she heard me
say 'Celeste.'  And she lives right next door, so it's only natural for her to
look out the window at Celeste's house when I said her name."

Claire looked sharply at Rose.

Rose smiled gaily and punched the speed-dial button on the phone, then '69.' 
"And now is when Celeste finishes grading English papers and turns on the
computer..."

Claire's eyes widened as she began to understand where this was going.

Rose listened to the boop-beep of the touch tones.  "And you KNOW how she is
when she has an audience.  Why d'you think she never bought any curtains for
the damn win--  Oh!  Hello, dear" she continued, in an altogether different
voice.  "Would Celeste happen to be home?  It's Rose.  That's right, dear.  I
really must talk to your wife, dear.  Oh, yes, it's about something very
important.  She is?  How wonderful.  Could you put her on, please?  Oh, thank
you..."

"Husband," Rose muttered out of the corner of her mouth, away from the
receiver.  "That's a great sign -- if they're together already, they must be up
to something."

Claire looked at Rose with something like awe.  Rose grinned tightly.  "Oh,
hel-LO, dear," she said into the phone.  "I was just sitting at home all alone
this evening when I said to myself, 'I declare, it's just been ages since I've
called dear Celeste, so--  Oh!  Why am I calling?  Well, it's about the band. 
That's right, the high school band.  Have you heard about this ghastly trip to
Florida that they're planning?  That's right, to that horrible Walt Disney
theme park... Why, are you all right, dear?  You seem to be a bit out of
breath.  Oh, did I make you run to get the phone like that?  I'm so terribly
sorry..."  Rose smirked at Claire.  "But to get back to the band, Celeste.  Do
you really KNOW what these Disney people are REALLY like?  If you did you would
never allow this trip, no, not for a minute.  Let me tell you, Celeste..."

As Rose talked, she gestured to Claire to come closer.  "And I'm telling you,
Celeste," she continued, "it could mean the end of morality as we know it. 
Isn't that right?"  Rose paused for a moment, and grinned at Claire.  "It's so
wonderful that you understand where I'm coming from, Celeste.  If there's one
thing I can always count on, it's Celeste talking in monosyllables while her
husband eats her out during our phone conversations.  I'm going to put you on
speakerphone now, Celeste, so that both of us can hear the sound of you being
lapped like an ice-cream cone.  That's all right, isn't it, Celeste?"

As she spoke, Rose punched the speaker button on the phone base and gently
cradled the receiver.  A second later, on cue, Rose and Claire heard Celeste's
voice waft out of the phone speaker.  "Uh-huh," she said in a distracted tone. 
Claire looked over at Rose.  "How did you know?" she mouthed silently.  Rose
nodded, and grinned again.

"Now, Celeste," she said in a firm voice.  "I'm telling someone Disney Liberals
who's sitting here with me that rampant lesbians you're not listening at all. 
I'm showing her immoral homosexuals that if I sprinkle my sentences with a few
corrupt our youths, you'll have no idea that I know what's going on.  Isn't
that so, Celeste?"

There was a brief pause, and then a strained "uh-huhhh" from Celeste.  "That's
right, dear," Rose said.  "You just keep on enjoying your husband's tongue
while he licks you around and around and sticks it way up inside you.  I can
hear the smacking, you know.  That wet smacking sound that your box is making
while he uses his nasty tongue to get you off.  Disgusting, isn't it,
Celeste?!"

"Um... Uh-huhh... Uh-huhhhh."

Claire put her ear close to the speaker and listened closely.  Sure enough, she
could hear a rhythmic wet sound in the background, and if she concentrated she
could hear Celeste's breathing quicken and catch in her throat.  Her eyes went
round, and then narrowed thoughtfully.  Meanwhile, Rose was having a grand
time.

"Oh, that's very nice Celeste.  It is a wonder to find a good Christian
marriage in this day and age.  I can only imagine how much your husband must
have to do to keep a ravenous creature like you away from all those horny young
teenagers you teach.  He must have to prong you day and night with that hot
little tongue and his big hard dick to keep you faithful!  Like a pair of horny
little bunnies, that's what you two are.  Did you hear what I said, Celeste?"

"Uh!  Huh!"

"Celeste, you hot little number.  You must be getting close.  Already?  I'd
have thought you could go on like this for hours.  Oh!  Oh my, Celeste.  If you
were listening, you'd really like this.  I think listening to you and your man
has gotten to my friend.  Do you want to hear what she's doing to me now,
Celeste?"

"Oh!  Yes!  Uh-HUH!"

Rose looked down at Claire, who had positioned herself in front of her chair,
between her legs.  She lifted her bottom off the seat as the other woman wedged
her shorts down and pulled them off.  "Well, Celeste," Rose said, her voice
level.  "The woman I've been telling you about -- you know, the one between my
legs?  Well, she's got my shorts off and now she's running her hands up my
legs, to my thighs.  Oh, Celeste!  I must say that this does feel great!  But
I'm sure you know that already, since you're way ahead of us.  Right?"

While the two women waited for Celeste to answer, Claire spread Rose's pussy
lips apart and started to lick her muff with broad, firm strokes.  Rose's eyes
rolled back in ecstasy, and she spread her legs wider.  She cleared her throat.
 "Er-hmmm, I said, right?"

The answering moan was thick and passionate.  "Um-HUMMMMMM!"

Claire slid her hands under Rose's asscheeks and lifted her pelvis higher.  Her
mouth moved furiously as she attacked Rose's cunt with ferocious stabs of her
tongue.  The unexpected assault sent Rose soaring, and she struggled to keep
the arousal out of her voice.  The effort lent an odd, singsong quality to her
speech.

"Why, Ce-LESTE!  I do believe you're a-BOUT to reach your OR-gasm!  I'm doing
pretty well here my-SELF, I must say.  It's getting so HARD to stop myself from
SCREAM-ing, this is so in-CRED-ible!  Well, I guess one good HEAD job deserves
a-NOTH-er, wouldn't you say?"

Celeste didn't answer, but the rising pitch of her moans made it clear that she
was reaching her peak.  Rose tried to keep talking, but Claire's oral
ministrations made coherence impossible.  So Rose let loose with a torrent of
babbling, grunting "Disney reprobates hah-hah-hah-homosexu-ahhh
immo-oh-oh-ohhhhh!" as Claire's practiced tongue drover her over the edge. 
Rose's orgasm was short and explosive and, fortunately, mostly silent.  By the
time she cleared some of the stars from her eyes, she realized that Celeste was
saying something.

"--simply letting gays and lesbians do their own thing.  Nobody is going to be
copulating on the midway. I'm sure the gays and lesbians are every bit as
discreet as heterosexuals."

"Now, Celeste," Rose answered, desperately trying to sound like she hadn't just
cum like blazes.  "Discretion may be fine, but how can we really trust those
people, especially with our children.  We both know that anyone degenerate
enough to have homosexual relations might try anything.  Ugh!  How can these
people DO that?" she said in disgust.  Rose winked broadly at Claire, who was
smiling up at her wickedly, her lips glistening with Rose's juices.

Rose smiled back at Claire, forgetting for a moment that she had stopped
talking to Celeste.  Then, out of the speaker, came a long, loud SLURP followed
by Celeste's voice saying "uh-huh."

Rose giggled and then caught herself.  "Now, Celeste," she said sternly.  "You
know that I didn't say anything!  Why, I'll bet you just said 'uh-huh' to
pretend you were listening to me."

"Uh-huh."

"Why, I'd even bet you're not even holding the phone anymore!  From the way
that slurping sounds, I'd guess that you're proba--"

"Uh-huh."

"Sloppy, Celeste.  Don't interrupt, or I'll suspect you're not paying any
attention at all."

There was a short pause on the line, and then Celeste's voice: "urrr-hurrrm."

Rose giggled again.  "Don't talk with your mouth full, Celeste!  And I bet I
know what it's full of, too!"  She stared at the phone speaker, listening
closely to the slurping noises of Celeste's mouth on her husband's cock.  She
didn't notice when Claire left the room, or when she returned moments later.

The slurping noises had stopped, but Celeste didn't seem to be on the phone. 
Rose listened carefully, and she thought she could hear the phone being
jostled.  Then the speakerphone emitted a series of curious squeaks.  These
were followed by a huff of breath from Celeste, as if she was resettling
herself in position.  Rose leaned out of her seat to press her ear close to the
speaker.  As she tried to picture what was going on at Celeste's, she felt
Claire's hands at her waist.  Still concentrating on Celeste, Rose absently let
Claire guide her body until she was turned around on her chair and kneeling on
the seat cushion.  Rose leaned her weight on the seat-back and tilted it until
her face was close to the speaker.

"Celeste?" she said.  "Are you there?"  In response she heard a thumping, then
the clunk of a can or some kind of container.  There was a quick squirting
sound of something wet, and then Celeste was speaking again.  Rose listened
closely, unmindful of an echoing squirt behind her from Claire's direction.

"You know, Rose," Celeste was saying, sounding a little irritated.  "I don't
think Minnie and Mickey were ever married!"

Rose leaned forward to hear, and then gasped as she felt something firm and
slick press into her from behind.  Not wanting to betray that to Celeste, she
said the first thing that popped into her mind: "uh-huh!"

The long thick something pushed deeper and deeper inside Rose's pussy.  Perched
on the chair, she spread her legs as wide as they could go and welcomed the
intruder by extending her hands behind her to spread her labia wider.  She was
rewarded with a deep, smooth penetration that felt like it went up to her
tonsils.  Rose moaned happily into her chair as Claire fucked her rigorously
with the strap-on dildo she was wearing.  As the thrusts continued, Rose rose
back to meet them and bucked her hips at each impact.

Although every pore of her was absorbed by the unexpected fucking she was
receiving, Rose did her best to lead Celeste on.  She serenaded Celeste with
half-sentences, sprinkled with occasional pleas to Claire to fuck her harder. 
Her phone partner must have been getting some tremendous dicking herself,
because all Celeste ever said in response was "uh-huh!"  

When Claire stopped pumping long enough to insert the tip of her middle finger
just inside Rose's asshole, Rose was sure that her near-scream of pleasure
would alert Celeste to what was happening.  But Celeste only said "uh-huh"
again, and then made some murky comment about Huey, Duey, and Louie having an
all-male all-mallard orgy.  Then Claire vengefully thrust her long finger deep
inside Rose's rosebud, penetrating her to the core.  Rose, awash with
incredibly intense pleasure, shrieked and flailed with her hands.  Again and
again Claire plunged into her, until Rose was overwhelmed by a thunderous
orgasm of titanic proportions.  She let loose with an ear-splitting scream that
echoed as it faded away, leaving her whole body trembling and shaking.

Claire let her real and artificial digits ooze out of a semi-comatose Rose, who
slid onto the floor beside her lover.  They sat together quietly, holding each
other.  Claire broke the silence first.  "Celeste," she murmured.  "Did she
hear everything?"

Rose smiled weakly.  "If she didn't, she's going deaf."  She rose toher knees
and crawled toward the phone.  Miraculously, the 'speakerphone' light was off.

"I must have hit it while we were fucking," Rose croaked in relief.  "I don't
know when, but I can guess."

Claire chuckled.  "I don't think Celeste really heard anything," she said.  "I
think she was pretty busy getting fucked herself."

"Think so?" Rose asked.

"Sure!" said Claire.  "What do you think all that squeaking and shuffling was? 
I bet her husband was doing the same thing to her that I was to you -- turning
her around and giving it to her from behind, right there on the chair.  Maybe,"
she whispered lasciviously, "he even did her ass!"

"No!" Rose exclaimed.  "Right there on the computer chair?"

Claire winked knowingly.  "I'll bet they even left the shades wide open.  Maybe
Janet was even watching them.  Wouldn't that be great?  If Janet fucked that
cute computer-geek husband of hers while they watched Celeste and her husband
ass-fucking?"

Rose laughed aloud and playfully pinched Claire's right nipple.  "You nasty
girl!  You're worse than me!  All I did was call Celeste on the phone -- you're
the one coming up with these crazy anal voyeur fantasies!"

Claire waggled her eyebrows like Groucho Marx.  "Speaking of cumming, my
dear..."

Rose chuckled.  "That's right, I guess I owe you two."  She got up off the
floor and extended her hand to Claire.  "Come on, then, ma'am," she said. 
Glancing at the strap-on around Claire's waist she amended "or sir, if that's
who you are."

The two women plopped down on the couch, and Rose hit the remote.  "Look!  It's
time for 'Ellen'!  You watch for suspicious alternative lifestyles, and I'll
perform some degenerate acts on you while you're watching."

"And then...?" Claire asked.

"I dunno," Rose said absently as she tugged at the dildo straps.  "Maybe we can
go online and find something fun to read.  Who knows?  Maybe Celeste will even
write about this in that thing she posts to the newsgroups."

"What thing?" asked Claire.

"Oh, you don't know?" Rose asked, amused.  "Well, I wouldn't want to spoil it
for you.  Why don't you ask Celeste about it when you see her at work
tomorrow?"

Claire blushed as Rose laughed at her.  "That reminds me... I DO have papers of
my own to grade, you know."  Rose smiled gently and reached up to kiss Claire
on the lips.  "Do it later," she pleaded softly.

"All right," Claire answered.  "All right."

"Now," Rose said in her best 'Latin Lover' accent.  "Enough with the love-talk.
 Eet's time to get to the lahveeng."

"Si, si!" Claire cackled.  "Si!  Let's..."

She giggled as her voice trailed off.  "Say -- did you get that?"

Rose was baffled.  "Get it?  'Si si si let's'?  I don't..."

Then she did, and as they sank down together on the couch in a passionate
embrace, they both murmured her name.

"Celeste..."




END

______________________


This story differs radically from Nick+Cassandra's "Review" story, which, in my
opinion, gave Rose a raw deal.  Sorry, Nick!  

------------------------------------

i write because
i have to
       
          ---- Nikki Giovanni, "Boxes"


Taria's Stories: <http://members.aol.com/TariaT>


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