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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 259 - Feb18
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Celestial Reviews 259 - February 18, 1998
Note: There's this guy who went to this camp for "adults." So the owner is
showing him around and says, "You're gonna love it here, especially the barrel
behind the restrooms. When you feel the need, stick you're dick in the hole
for a blowjob."
So the next day the guy sees the owner, and says, "This place is great! I'm
going to use that barrel every day."
The owner says, "Every day except Mondays."
"Why not on Mondays?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"St. Valentine's Day! 'Oh, I would like to fall in love so much!'"
by Milos Bogdanovic (holy harangue) 7, 5, 3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8461.txt
"In the Booth" by Mark Aster (sex fantasies) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8505.txt
"A Matter of Pride" by Lord Malinov (rendezvous) 10, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8500.txt
"Through the Fence" by Mr. Maquido (voyeurism) 9, 9, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8512.txt
"The Bedroom Window" by Sandman (Celestial follow-up)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8433.txt
"Seat of Power" by Jay Croft (Celestial follow-up) 10, 10, 10
"Interracial Sex Story" by Zifferman (silly rape story)
5, 4, 2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8349.txt
Guest Reviews:
"Get with the Program" by Phil Phantom (incest, pedophillia,
humiliation, and spanking) 9, 9, - / 10, 8, - / 10, 7, -
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8508.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8511.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8507.txt
"Amazing Grace" by LeAnn (sex at a party) 8.4, 9.6, 9.4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8165.txt
"Kyle's Continuing Sexual Adventures - Club-F" - by "Not Me"
(orgies) 7, 6, 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8311.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8312.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8327.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8315.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8317.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8316.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8313.txt
"Twin Trouble" by Dastardly Dave (sexual awakening)
8, 8, 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8459.txt
"Wendy" by Friar Dave (sex with young girl) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8497.txt
"Mandy" by Darkman (Incest, pedophilia and videotape)
8, 8, -
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8498.txt
"St. Valentine's Day! 'Oh, I would like to fall in love so much!' " by Milos
Bogdanovic (milos@net.yu). I originally read this "story" on Valentine's Day,
expecting a romance of some sort. What I found instead is an essay that seems
to be denouncing the underlying value system displayed on the a.s.s.
newsgroup.
What's refreshing about this story is that it demonstrates that at least some
of the people who object to us a perverts write every bit as badly as some of
the very worst writers who post stories on this newsgroup.
I suspect that what we have here is a leftover essay from a religion class.
"I wrote the damned thing, and so I might as well gain Merit in heaven by
posting it where these perverts can see it. Praise the Lord!"
The author gives us a diatribe against "selfish love." But he shows no
awareness that eroticism and pleasure have a natural appeal to human beings or
that fantasies differ from reality. He presents a very stilted description of
"true love," making it sound like the sort of thing that ugly, old people
might decide to do when they can't find any adventure in their lives. And he
manages to do all this without any cohesiveness to his arguments.
Anyway, this "story" is not worth reading - whether you're looking for a sex
story or for a reasonable discussion of human sexuality. However, on the
brighter side, this story gives me the opportunity to tell you this story:
Three couples (an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple, and a young newlywed
couple) wanted to join a church.
The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must
abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain
from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all,
Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor asked the middle-aged couple, "Well, were you able to abstain from
sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The
second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights; but, yes we
made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor then asked the newlywed couple, "Were you able to abstain from sex
for two weeks?" "No, Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two
weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When
she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of
her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,"
stated the pastor.
"We know," said the young man. "We're not welcome at Safeway anymore either."
Ratings for "St. Valentine's Day!"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"In the Booth" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). The main criticism of this
story is that it is incoherent. The author jumps from one plot to another
with no apparent character development. Normally, that would mean that this
is a bad story; but this time that makes this a good story. Why? Well, I
can't tell you.
I wish I had been allowed to say things like that preceding paragraph on my
literature exams back in high school and college. The instructor would read
the paper and say, "Great! A+."
Well, the short answer is that there's a reason for the incoherence, and it
has something to do with the booth in the title. This is another good but
short story.
Ratings for "In the Booth"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Matter of Pride" by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com). I suppose if
publishers can have a "Book of the Month Club," then Lord Malinov can have a
Short Story of the Day Club. He has been churning out a story per day for the
past month or so, and they have all been of high quality. This one does not
break the streak.
Kevin is sitting in a bar, apparently waiting for someone to arrive. He is
visiting the city and hopes to meet Carla, an old girlfriend.. While he
waits, he fantasizes about another woman who also seems to be waiting for
someone.
This story is short on really explicit sex and long on implicit sex. It's
still a pretty good story!
Ratings for "A Matter of Pride"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Through the Fence" by Mr. Maquido (maquido@hotmail.com). This is the pilot
story in a series entitled "Neighbors," which is a about two couples who live
in a small community in Texas. In this episode Alan has arrived home early
from a business trip. He plans to shower quickly and hurry off to his health
club, where he will lust after the lewd and lascivious Barbara who wears a
skintight body suit that makes him cum in the showers after his workout. But
before Alan leaves the house he is distracted by his neighbor, Alice, who has
never even seen a porn movie but is now sunbathing and having naughty
fantasies. His wife comes home and catches Alan in his voyeurism; but instead
of being upset, she just joins him.
I suppose we'll meet Alice's husband Tom in a future episode.
This story had some rough edges, but it offers promise of an interesting
series.
Ratings for "Through the Fence"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Bedroom Window" by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com). Sandman's stories are
archived at ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Authors/sandman/index.html.
This is the first author to accept my invitation to post a "Chapter 2" of my
"Review" story that first appeared as a review of DG's "Call of Desire." You
might more fully enjoy this and the following story if you first read my
original story, which is archived at
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7611.txt.
The present story assumes that there was a pair of voyeurs outside my window
while I was writing the review and while my husband was coming on to me - or
cumming onto me. While they watch us, they make whoopee themselves. At one
point we have my husband fucking me in the ass while I am talking to Rose on
the phone and the voyeur husband is fucking his wife doggie style outside the
window. Then they decide to go home and give me a phone call.
I am not certain how this story would do as a stand-alone, but I certainly did
enjoy it in the context of my previous story.
This author seems to know me too well. I think from now on I'll slant my
blinds up instead of down when I close them at night.
Ratings for "The Bedroom Window"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Seat of Power" by Jay Croft (paladin_cs@email.msn.com). This is another
follow-up to my "Review" of DG's "Call of Desire." In this case, Rose has
hung up the phone and has gone to watch "Bonanza" on the Family Channel to get
my debauchery out of her mind. {For those of you who don't know, "Bonanza"
was an American "western" series of about 30 years ago, which focused on the
life of Hop Sing, a Chinese cook and housekeeper whose wealthy employers were
constantly either getting amnesia or falling in love with women who died
during each weekly episode.}
At this point we are treated to a flashback, when Rose and her cousin Martha
were eleven-year-olds taking a shower together. Martha had accidentally
pushed her finger up her own ass a little and had groaned pleasantly. When
Rose questioned her, Martha challenged her to "try it and see" how good it
felt. At this moment in her sexual awakening, what Rose really needed was a
better command of English grammar. Try WHAT and see? Into whose asshole
should Rose have inserted the finger in the next hundred words of the story?
Overwhelmed by the grammatical ambiguity, perhaps, they try both of the above.
However, Rose's childhood sexuality is quickly terminated by Sister Mary Tight
Ass, who assures her students that touching oneself in the shower is a
perversion.
Seeking redemption after all those years, Rose visits me {Celeste} the morning
after the phone call. The bitch has recorded her conversation with me, and
she threatens to turn the tape over to the school authorities unless I help
her resolve her anal fixation. Although I'm a bit miffed at first, eventually
I discover that Rose isn't such a bad person after all. In the end I am happy
to lend a helping hand. As you can well imagine, that previous sentence has a
double meaning.
Unlike the previous story, this one doesn't match up quite so well with my
real-life personality or with the persona I would like to convey in fiction
about me. For example, I don't often drink wine in the morning or have anyone
or anything named Skye living in my house. B-cup or small C, indeed!
Vibrators and dildoes in a shoe box under the bed! Wouldn't it be better to
keep them on the shelf in the headboard, right behind the massage lotions?
I'm kidding! This is another very good story. I am not certain how this story
would do as a stand-alone, but I certainly did enjoy it in the context of my
own story.
Ratings for "Seat of Power"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Interracial Sex Story" by Zifferman (zifferman@aol.com). This author has
written some good stories, but this one borders on illiterate drivel. A man
and wife go to a remote cabin, where three black escaped convicts rape the
wife. Mary ends up becoming pregnant and having a "basterd black baby." John
leaves Mary, so that she can satisfy her desires for black cock, which were
acquired during her pleasant rape sequence with the three monster cocks.
Isn't that special!
The narrative reads more like a summary than a story, and it's riddled with
silly and distracting grammatical errors. I can't imagine what would possess
a good author to write crap like this. I suspect his teenage son, perhaps
motivated by a desire to promote interracial harmony, has snuck onto
Zifferman's computer and posted this superficial adolescent fantasy.
Ratings for "Interracial Sex Story"
Athena (technical quality):.5
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 2
"Get with the Program" by Phil Phantom (slutmissy@hotmail.com). Guest review
by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com).
Before I begin the review, I need to warn you that the subject matter of this
story falls outside my personal tastes and preferences. The story contains
incest (mother/son, mother/daughter, father/daughter, brother/sister),
pedophilia, humiliation, and spanking. There is no appeal to reviewer for me
with this story; and so I will analyze it based on technical quality and plot
alone, with no recommendation to either read or avoid this story.
"Get with the Program" is actually three stories with the same title. All the
stories revolve around a central plot: A family arrives at a camp where the
man and woman are expected to "service" the guests; in reality the son and
daughter are expected to do this as well.
What Phil has done with this story is explore differing tones and slightly
different scenarios. In a sense the author is playing what-ifs with the same
general idea: What if the family decides to go with the flow, what if the
mother is reluctant, what if the circumstances are more life-threatening?
This is actually a pretty good idea; and although the possibility is there for
the reader to get bored, each story is different enough to keep things
interesting.
Plot #1: Karen and Bill Smith have taken a new job at a camp. Their duties
involve fucking anyone, anytime, any way a guest wants it. That may be their
job, but the story focuses specifically on breaking in their daughter Jenny to
handle these duties as well. Jenny is the only one who resists these strange
new ideas and her parents' inexplicable new attitude, at least at first.
Eventually everyone relaxes and has a good time.
The story is fairly hard to read at first with many "he said," "I said." and
few transitions to smooth the reading; but the reading does get easier later
on as the author warms up. The plot serves only as an excuse for the sex,
which is not necessarily a bad thing in a sex story.
Plot #2: Again this is the same general plot, but this time the story focuses
on the stepmother, Karen. Karen is the reluctant one this time and attempts
to shield Jenny from the harsh facts of life. Unfortunately Jenny is tagging
along during Karen's physical, which gets extraordinarily physical when
Karen's examiner starts royally fucking her. For those who like pain and
punishment this story ends with a rather explicit cunt spanking.
There were no false starts with this plot variation, and so the reading
remained easy. The first plot offered a conclusion by allowing a change in one
of the characters. That gives plot #1 a sense of finality and closure. In
this story Karen begins reluctant and ends reluctant -- there is no sense of
closure. Again the plot serves as an excuse for the sex, and again this is
not necessarily a bad thing in a sex story.
Plot #3: In both of the previous plots Karen begins the story relating how she
was beaten by Helen, the proprietor. This third story begins with a first
hand account of that. As in Plot #2, Karen plays her part reluctantly, this
time with more urgency and terror, again at least at first. This time the
family is forced to perform for the guests, beginning with auctioning off
Jenny's clothing piece by piece to the highest bidder in a public auction
(something which Jenny finds humiliating enough to inspire tears). The
subsequent shows involve the husband/father taking Jenny's virginity and Karen
fucking her son, for the audience, of course.
Again the reading was smooth. There is actually very little explicit sex in
this one, the thrill coming only in the humiliation and power plays. The
author did a fairly good job at stressing the urgency and terror Karen was
feeling at the beginning of the story, but in a single sentence at the end
undoes this without adequate buildup to explain the abrupt shift in Karen's
attitude. If the last sentence had been deleted this would have been a far
more consistent story; and that one sentence is the difference between a 7 and
an 8 in plot & character.
As I conclude, I feel compelled to point out the author uses no blank lines
between paragraphs and dialog lines. Please, guys - space is not a valuable
commodity to be hoarded. A single blank line between paragraphs and dialog
lines makes for a far more readable story.
A final note before we move on to raw scores. Appeal to reviewer does
influence Venus. I suggest you use the text of this review to base your
decision on whether or not to read these stories rather than the numerical
scores. Also, since I do consider these three separate stories, I have
included three separate scores, the first score is for the first story, the
second score is for the second story, and the third score for the third story.
Athena (technical quality): 9, 10, 10
Venus (plot & character): 9, 8, 7
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): (This space intentionally left blank)
"Amazing Grace" by LeAnn (kalika@main.provost.msu.edu). Guest review by
Jubjub.
Story Summary: Sexual encounter at a party
This story is hot--very hot. The first couple of stories that I reviewed had
some interesting ideas but poor execution. This story has an interesting idea
AND some very hot descriptions. A little bit of proofreading would make this
story a model of how a story should be written.
First, there were some minor punctuation problems. There were also a couple
of garbled sentences. But these didn't pose any readability problems. The
only major problem arose from the asides. There were four of them. Two were
okay, but the other two were jarring. A recommendation to this author and any
other author: if you think your getting cute, you are. Don't do it. It tends
to kill the flow of the story.
Beyond these minor problems, I felt the story started a bit sluggishly. If I
hadn't been a reviewer, I probably would not have read past the first
paragraph. In fact, it occurs to me that I might have read this story earlier
and DID stop reading after the first paragraph or two. But the action picks up
later. There is a shift in the story that compels me not to divulge details,
but suffice it to say this story really got me going once the main characters
were introduced.
The story shift is interesting and doesn't have anything to do with BDSM or
rape or anything like that. The story is good clean sex, and I hope the
writer keeps writing.
Technical: 8.4 Very good, but not near perfect
Characterization and Plot: 9.6 Very good characterization and
plot flow
Appeal: 9.4 I got hard--very hard
"Kyle's Continuing Sexual Adventures - Club-F" by "Not Me"
(sansidee@hotmail.com). Guest review by Kim.
This is a seven-part story, that from the title, seems to suggest a longer
series than what is being reviewed here. It tells, not surprisingly, of the
adventures of the eponymous Kyle. From the opening dialog, it may be that Kyle
is forty four years old, but it's not really clear.
The general theme of the story is Kyle's joining a fitness club, the Club-F of
the title. But this is no ordinary fitness club, as the "F" really stands for
fucking. And that's pretty much what Kyle does for most of the story.
He is aided in his adventures by the rather fortunate system of mind altering
drugs that the club injects into the air conditioning. The drug makes people
horny and then forgetful. Such that all the patrons of the club, on walking
through the door, jump on each other like rabbits, and then conveniently
forget about the rampant coupling two hours later. All except Kyle, who is
immune to the forgetful bit. Still with me?
By now you're probably thinking this is some kind of parody, right? Wrong! --
this is straight down the line. Soon Kyle is screwing the membership
representative, Jody, then a couple of members, Shelly and Andrea, whom he
charms by the somewhat unusual method of giving himself a blowjob (yep, you
read that right), and finally an old friend, Chelsea, whom he introduces to
the delights of the club, but later decides to settle down with and move out
of state, thus leaving the club Kyleless.
All in all, a pretty strange mix really. The sex is relentless, with fucking
and sucking and such, on every page of the story. The plot, such as it is,
seems to change direction each time a new character is introduced, and the
whole thing doesn't seem to know if it's a mind control story or not. I think
"odd" is a good word to describe it.
Personally I found the sex desperately boring. The beginning seemed like a
juvenile fantasyland, and just didn't press any of my buttons. The threeway
got kinda hot at times, but the finale, with Chelsea, seemed to have wandered
in from another story. All things considered, not very appealing, I'm afraid.
Comments on this review to Ghost@nym.alias.net
Ratings for "Kyle's Continuing Sexual Adventures - Club-F"
Athena (technical quality): 7 (Technically readable but pretty
lame really)
Venus (plot & character): 6 (Complete mishmash of a plot)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 4 (Could see little merit in it, sorry)
"Twin Trouble" by Dastardly Dave (posted by abekl@ibm.net). Guest review by
BillyG.
The story "Twin Trouble" as posted in the current a.s.s.m. newsgroup states
that it has been spell checked and reformatted. I suspect the former is true
but the reformatting must apply to early portion of the story only. That
latter is mostly long, unbroken paragraphs. Those of you who prefer the
pacing and timing of a well-formatted story, who prefer the organization
afforded by the white spaces, may stumble in the second half of this tale.
That's too bad, for the story suffers from it.
As well, the first chapter really constitutes an acceptable, even sweet story
and it might well have ended there. The engaging plausibility and the
intimacy are both diluted substantively by the introduction of two many horny
young girls, all of whom are improbably hot and hungry for the young man's
body.
In brief, this is am initially-believable, later-unlikely story of sexual
awakening of a brother and a sister, young teens and twins as it happens. The
setting is a farm in the South where the siblings "discover" each other in the
barn. That works reasonably well, but the remainder of the story rambles and
attempts to achieve erotic appeal largely by numbers. If one girl is sexy,
four more often is not, especially eleven-year-old nymphets.
Actually, this looks like several stories, the first of which is worth reading
while the remainder should be expurgated. As it stands, the story's 17,000
words could stand a major trimming.
Ratings for "Twin Trouble"
Athena (technical quality): 8 - Initially a 10, but fades rapidly
Venus (plot & character): 8 - Same take
BillyG(appeal to reviewer): 7 - A major trimming and reformatting
recommended
"Wendy" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). Guest Review by Sandman
(sandman@bitsmart.com).
Again I must warn you that this story falls outside of my normal personal
tastes and preferences. The story contains a very explicit incest scene
between a 14-year-old brother and his 12-year-old sister, as well as graphic
pedophilia descriptions between the 12-year-old girl and an adult male.
Dan (the narrator) is more than thrilled to find the beautiful Marge moving in
next door to him and being a normal, red-blooded male tries in vain to win her
affections. As is the case with all of Friar Dave's stories the characters
are painstakingly developed. Before any one hops into the sack the reader
KNOWS these people and when the sex happens it makes sense.
Dan is asked by Marge to help assemble a grill for a party she is having later
that evening and Dan, still eager to win her affections willingly accepts the
task. When Marge has to step out and Dan explores the house to find a cool
drink he stumbles on Wendy, Marge's twelve-year-old daughter giving Josh,
Marge's fourteen year old son a rather professional blow job. Naturally Dan
is turned on by this, but he discreetly plays dumb and returns to his job.
Wendy comes out and talks with him a bit later on and he learns that Marge is
gay, forever putting her out of his reach. And later that evening Wendy slips
away from the dull party to visit Dan where she learns his ex-girlfriend is a
porno star and goads Dan into letting her watch one of the tapes. From there
the story tenderly and explicitly describes several varied sexual positions.
In chapter 10 the story abandons the pedophilia and concentrates on a really
interesting sex scene between Dan and Marge (who occasionally still indulges
in men). Again the sex makes sense and is all the more interesting because
the characters are so vivid and real. Unlike the scenes between Dan and Wendy
this part did hold a very real appeal to me. Chapter ten came as a salvation
and redemption of sorts, there was an actual physical sense of relief for me
as the story made this about-face.
Reading this story for review was sort of an exercise in extremes, I kept
recoiling from the pedophilia but Dave's writing kept trying engage me, to
make me a part of the story - he really is that good a writer. I guess I am
going to recommend this story with a warning. If pedophilia is your thing, by
all means read the story from beginning to end. If it isn't, read the first
chapter then skip down to chapter 10. Here's the warning - if you ignore this
advice you *WILL* look back on the story and wonder why you enjoyed reading
it, wonder why when you tried to detach yourself you kept being drawn back
into the story.
A horror story doesn't necessarily have to have blood and monsters in it.
Sometimes the terror can be finding out a good author can pull you into a
story that assaults what you consider unshakable foundations of your own
beliefs of what is right and what is wrong.
Athena (technical quality): 10 - a few minor mistakes but easily
overlooked.
Venus (plot & character): 10-- The story makes sense and the sex
is hot.
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10 - And I'm still asking myself why.
"Mandy" by Darkman (abekl@ibm.net). Guest review by Sandman
(sandman@bitsmart.com).
Yet another warning that this story falls outside my normal tastes and
preferences, and thankfully this time there was no appeal to reviewer as well.
I'm sorry, but after "Wendy" if I read another pedo piece that held an appeal
to the reviewer I'd be checking myself into the nearest psychiatric hospital.
This story is rated on technical quality and plot alone. It will be up to you
to decide if any of this appeals to you enough to call up the story.
What's a father to do when on a hot summer's day jerking off while watching a
porno flick he catches his fourteen-year-old daughter and her friend spying on
him through the bedroom window? Ignore it, at least until he finds his
daughter has poked a spy hole through the bedroom wall. Then it's time to
scheme on how to catch her in the act of spying on him. Of course he does,
and this leads to a mutual masturbation scene where the earth, of course,
moves for both of them.
Fortunately Mandy is very willing to keep this all secret so long as they can
have more fun together.
With this new relationship established, they move on to watching a porno flick
a few days later. "What the hell in for a nickel in for a dime," the author
states as the father fingers his daughter to orgasm. There's some voyeuristic
fun as the father watches Mandy and her girlfriend get each other off later
that evening. The next day they visit a park and the father gets so worked up
he has to get some relief. Luckily the public restroom has a glory hole and
some strange guy deep throats him for the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is a very long story and it's almost purely 100% sex scene after sex
scene. It's fairly safe to say there's not a character in this story the
father does not at one point have sex with (the sex with his son is implied by
the glory hole incident). There's a threesome with the father, his neighbor,
and her daughter; there's another threesome with the father, his wife, and
their daughter. There's a scene between the daughter and her friend, there's
a scene between the son and the gym instructor. There's a scene... well, you
get the idea.
Believe it or not, underneath this non-stop sex there's an actual plot in the
intrigue around the man's son (who definitely has problems). It appears the
son's gym teacher (male) has been taking liberties with the boy (and a dog for
a bestiality scene). The father, of course, is incensed by this, and at 2am
the father and wife pay a visit to the man. The payback comes by raping the
instructor's wife. Well, it starts out as rape, but everyone gets off in THE
END.
The main technical problems with this story is an inconsistent use of
quotation marks around the dialog and the fact that dialog between multiple
parties resides inside single paragraphs. But the author does have a breezy
writing style that's easy enough to read, even if the subject matter
interferes with that for most people.
The story tries to have a plot (the man's son being abused by the gym teacher
and the vengeance it inspires), but in the context of the inconsistency of the
father abusing his own daughter the imperative for vengeance seems almost
silly, and the end result (raping the man's wife) merely creates another
victim. So this story is held afloat only by the sex. The sheer quantity of
the sex and the fact that it's reasonably well written will probably be enough
for the people who are into this genre.
To conclude, I will insert a personal note here. Just as the father wanted to
thrash the man buggering his son, I could not help but note the irony; for I
very much hoped Child Protection Services would burst on the scene and thrash
the father around for a few hours, then insert him into a transgender/mind-
control/misogynistic(*) story where this walking penis would no longer be a
threat to his neighbors, his family, or my sensibilities. {Sigh} So much for
objectivity.
(*) Hatred of women. Bronwen's usage of the word forced me to look it up and
I've been wanting to use it ever since. Hey, after three straight pedo
reviews, right now I'll take any redeeming quality I can find or create!
Sandman's Ratings of "Mandy"
Athena (technical quality): 8 -- Needs to handle dialog better.
Venus (plot & character): 8 -- Non-stop sex
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