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From: charl32@hotmail.com (Charlie)
Subject: rp: deirdre - Romance
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I am not the author - this is merely a repost




Romance 
- by deirdre, 9/17/94

          I read the title. I *almost* burst out  laughing. "Let me guess!" 
I said, "Your husband picked out this one!"
Jean glanced over at the video I was holding. "Can't fool you!" she
answered.
        "And did *you* pick out one, too?" I pulled the
other video out of the bag. I stared at it for a second. I knew
this video very well.
        "Yep, one for each of us!" Jean replied. I
couldn't believe she'd rented this video. Without lifting my face,
Ipeeked at her under my eyebrows. She was watching me.  Did she see me
peek?   I was so nervous. It was so unexpected. I had to think of
something natural to say. "What's it about?" I lied. Well, actually I
pretended I hadn't heard of the video. She was watching me! She must be
watching for my reaction. She must be *interested* in me!        "Oh,
it's about a woman who goes to Reno to get a divorce and ends up having
an affair." No, she didn't say it--not anything about *that*. I felt so
embarrassed. What should I say? She was *definitely* watching me. I
shouldn't have pretended I didn't know what it was about. I could have
made a *knowing comment*. This had been my big chance--a thousand of
my dreams come true--and I pretended I didn't know the video! She was
waiting for me to speak. I had to talk again.   "Well, that's just
*fantasy* for you. I don't think *you're* aiming to get a divorce and
have an affair." It was fairly natural sounding. But I knew my
subconscious was trying to give her the chance to volunteer more.
        "Who knows? Maybe there are affairs I could have that wouldn't *bother*
Jim."   I was *floored*. My heart was beating so fast. Yes, she was
peeking at me, to see how I reacted. I had made myself come so many
times thinking about a moment like this. She *wanted* me. I *knew* she
did. And I wanted her *so bad*! She *must* know!  She's figured me
out! She *knows* I know! I giggled. A nervous giggle? A little. Like it
was all a joke. What was wrong with me? If I hadn't recognized the
video, I figured I would be finding this all to be a joke. This was
my big chance, but there was that part of me that wanted to hide--to
appear normal. And I didn't want her to know I had lied.  "Well, enjoy
yourselves!" A non-committal comment. A *nothing* comment.
        I was off. I could have... admitted that I knew that video. Or
else I could
have innocently suggested that we watch it together. Or just *looked*
at her openly. But I *didn't*.She'll figure I'll see the video some
day. She'll figure I'll remember this day and conversation. She knows
someday I'll *know*.
        I'm so embarrassed. How can I face her again?
She'll be wondering if I know yet. Back to my dreams. She'll always be
in my dreams.

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