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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 255 - Feb 4
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Celestial Reviews 255 - February 4, 1998
Note: One day, the doorbell rings at 221B Baker street. Dr. Watson goes to
the door, as Mrs. Hudson is away for the weekend.
When he opens the door, he sees a schoolgirl standing there. He says to her,
"Yes?"
"I'm here to see Mr. Holmes, sir," she replies.
So the good doctor shows her to the great detective's study. A few minutes
later, he hears what appears to be the sounds of a great struggle coming from
the room, with panting and groaning. Immediately his mind springs to the only
available conclusion - the evil Professor Moriarty, cleverly disguised as a
schoolgirl, is doing away with the great Holmes!
Springing to his feet, he bounds across the room and yanks the door open... to
see Holmes, naked, laying atop the schoolgirl, pumping away for all he is
worth.
Pulling himself up to his full height, the doctor sputters, "I SAY! Holmes!
And just what sort of a 'schoolgirl" is this?" he sneers.
The great detective looks up, removes his Meersham pipe from his mouth, and
calmly replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
Second note: I'd like to point out that there are a lot of intelligent and
kind people on this group who are willing to help others. I get lots of fan
mail thanking me for these reviews. {That's OK! Don't stop. As the song
says, "Ain't no such thing as too much fan mail."} What people often ignore,
however, is that people with less obvious profiles often to a lot for this
group. I hope you all realize the value of Eli's a.s.s.m. with its archives
and of Ole Joe's notes on our subculture. {I take a wicked delight in
thinking that I am the topic of a discussion in an anthropology class
somewhere. Of course, that also means that a bunch of students hate me
because they missed a question on a test about me. Kinda like Shakespeare and
Milton, I guess.} In addition, I have some guest reviewers whose reviews are
more eagerly awaited than my own.
But in addition to the high profile people who make this group work, there are
people whose names you would never recognize because they work behind the
scenes. Whenever I report a problem, somebody sends me a solution. The same
thing occurs in a.s.s.d.: a person writes with a question regarding how to
format or submit a story, and someone quickly posts a helpful answer. Then
there are the people who send me jokes or write parodies in verse of my
grammar suggestions. For a bunch of perverts, we really are a nice community
of people. I'd like to express my thanks to everyone who has helped out.
Third note: I still need a reviewer for the Doc Savage style story entitled
"Bronze Lust." If you are interested, drop me a line.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
(Note: Links beginning with x9.dejanews.com may be unstable.)
"Kim Nice-but-Dim" by BronwenSM (humorous sexual
awakening) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7904.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7905.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7906.txt
"In a Quiet Corner of the Galley Waiting for the Coffee
to Perk " by Mat Twassel (non- humorous sexual
awakening) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7837.txt
"Summer Vacation" by Ann Douglas (intergenerational sex)
9.5, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8127.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8128.txt
"A Missy Christmas" by Michael K. Smith (family reunion
sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7747.txt
"Field of Dreams" by Sarlim (outdoor sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7910.txt
"Melissa" by Mark Aster (family reunion non-sex)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8004.txt
"Mystery Flasher 2" by Phloighd (record store sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8086.txt
Guest Reviews:
"Singled Out" by akch23 (femdom) 8, 9, 8
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=320638377&
CONTEXT=886640878.2075721810&hitnum=0
"A Lipstick Called . . . BLACKMAIL!" by PleaseCain (femdom)
6, 10, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7982.txt
"Wandering Around Campus" by Young Lecher (sex by a lake)
8, 5, 5
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=316932334&
CONTEXT=886641031.1595474891&hitnum=0
"Camp" by WhiteStar (pisonic sex kid) 9, 8, 6
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7665.txt - Part 1-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7673.txt - Part 1-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7674.txt - Part 1-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7668.txt - Part 1-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7678.txt - Part 1-5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7666.txt - Part 2-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7675.txt - Part 2-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7667.txt - Part 2-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7679.txt - Part 2-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7683.txt - Part 3-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7669.txt - Part 3-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7671.txt - Part 3-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7670.txt - Part 3-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7680.txt - Part 3-5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7681.txt - Part 4-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7676.txt - Part 4-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7672.txt - Part 4-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7677.txt - Part 4-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7682.txt - Part 4-5
"Death Row 2" by Waldo (transgender drama) 10, 10, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7949.txt - Chapter 1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7954.txt - Chapter 2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7947.txt - Chapter 3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7946.txt - Chapter 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7948.txt - Chapter 5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7951.txt - Chapter 6
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7953.txt - Chapter 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7952.txt - Chapter 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7950.txt - Chapter 9
Reposted Reviews:
* "Slow Dancing With a Stranger" by Sarlim (romance)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7909.txt
* "Mystery Flasher" by Phloighd (exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7933.txt
* "Livinia" by Friar Dave (complex romance) 9.5, 10, 10
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=320450778
&CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=18
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=321640533&
CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=16
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=321960837&
CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=7
* "Emptiness" by DevoSpudC (disillusionment) 9, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8005.txt
* "Sucker" by BronwenSM (emerging adolescence & humor)
10, 10, 10
* "Sucker" Chapters 2 and 3 by BronwenSM (continued sex
odyssey) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Kim Nice-but-Dim" by Bronwen (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). Bronwen's stories
are archived at http://www.cyber-mall.com/Bronwen.
When I was in elementary school, I once referred to someone as "nice," and the
person to whom I was speaking replied, ""Nice' means 'bow-legged.'" Just now
I finally got around to checking that assertion. I wish to report that there
is no evidence in my unabridged dictionary that "nice" means "bow-legged." On
a related topic, however, there is dictionary evidence to uphold the old
distinction between a "nice girl" and a "good girl." {A good girl goes out on
a date, comes home, and then goes to bed. A nice girl goes out on a date,
goes to bed, and then comes home.}
I have previously reviewed the first chapter of this story as a separate
posting {"Sucker"}, and a guest reviewer has already done the same for the
last two chapters. The author has updated these chapters slightly and has
reposted them under this new title, and I am now reviewing the whole story. I
am also reposting the previous reviews.
Kim is the teenage daughter of an MP. No, not a mounted policeman or even a
military policeman - the bloke's a member of parliament! As the title
suggests, Kim is not too swift in the attic. It's not quite true to say that
she has a room temperature IQ, but she lacks a certain social sophistication.
As the title of the first chapter suggests, she's a "sucker" in more ways than
one.
Kim has been the kind of girl nobody would take a second look at. But then
her body gets really involved in this pubescence thing, and all of a sudden
she is the girl everyone fancies, and most of them seem terrified of her.
Then Oliver asks her out. Oliver, the best looking boy in the school, who used
to not care about Kim enough to give her the time of day. On their first date
Kim has medicinal sex with him. Pretty soon she's giving first aid to all the
homies in the 'hood -<ooops! wrong dialect!>
British sex is complicated. Her father gets blootered and makes a suggestion
about "fucking the European Community" - a formidable task even for a person
as diligent as Kim.
Then one afternoon while she is mooching about by the horseboxes at the polo
club, where her mum spends her time trolling for Argentineans, Kim meets Greek
Eddie - who is actually French. At first I was concerned over the statement
that Kim was having trouble "ringing" Eddie, but then I realized that problem
was more closely related to Ma Bell than Big Johnson. Eventually, Eddie gives
it to Kim up the jacksie - not very delicately, I might add. Either he thought
she was screaming with delight or it didn't bother him that she wasn't. It
hurt. In fact, it hurt like buggery, which gave Kim an insight into the
etymology of that term. As Disraeli said, " I adore sucking cock, but this
buggery crap is simply not my cup of tea." Or as Mark Twain put it, "If your
arse hurts that much, how do you take a shit?"
But then on one of those moveable feast nights Brits get in the country, Kim
has an epiphany. {There's subtle religious humor in the preceding sentence,
but just in case you missed it, I'll offer you something less subtle: What do
you call an Aggie cheerleader with two brain cells? Give up? Pregnant!}
Anyway, Kim discovers that the men have been using her for their own pleasure.
Rude Awakening City! Kim doesn't mind being considered so dumb that blondes
tell jokes about her, but the worst thing is that she has been pootling along
thinking they liked her, and they didn't - they didn't give a shit and she'd
never noticed. Revelation Station!
Well, Uncle Barnaby rescues Kim and takes her home in his dj. {That one
worried me for a while, but eventually I realized it was a dinner jacket.}
Barny is a sort of knight in shining armor. When he finds out what the
teenage boys have been doing to Kim, he exclaims in a passionate paroxysm of
avuncular alliteration, "How dare the bloody bugger bugger my battered baby?"
Barny is initially a bit concerned at how his niece (who is not really his
niece) got to be so gormless, but he sets the question aside and jumps her
bones. He does it very nicely. The waves pound on the beach, the pistons
piston, fireworks go off, and rockets are launched. Then, of course, there's
a surprise ending.
Here's a vocabulary note. Bronwen makes some mistakes on purpose, but I think
she said "homely" where she really meant to say "homey." In the unlikely
event that you get bored reading this story, you can look for that one.
Ratings for "Kim Nice-but-Dim"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"In a Quiet Corner of the Galley Waiting for the Coffee to Perk " by Mat
Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). Mat Twassel's stories are archived at
http://members.aol.com/Mmtwassel/index.html.
This is a really difficult story to try to explain. The best I can do is to
say that it reminded me of a D.H. Lawrence story with a piano replacing a
rocking horse - and different motivations for the child's behavior.
A woman is describing to another person over coffee her "first time." This
event occurred when she was twelve years old in early summer in the context of
piano lessons from Mr. Trombley. That's all I am going to tell you, except to
say that this is a very good story.
If you are looking for some mind-blowing pedophilia or for some other form of
hot sex, you will be disappointed with this story. Instead of hot sex, the
story gives us an insight into the mind of a young girl who has been abruptly
exposed to sex for the first time. Likewise, if you found "The Rocking Horse
Winner" to be a real drag, you should probably skip this one. I'm not sure
whether the author will be flattered or annoyed by my comparison to Lawrence;
and I may even be way off base with the comparison. Take a look and see what
you think.
Ratings for "In a Quiet Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Summer Vacation" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). Michael has been staying
for the summer months with his Aunt Karyn, a rubenesque widow related to him
by marriage, who is both an attractive lady and a pillar of the local
community. One day when he comes home unexpectedly, Michael discovers that
his aunt isn't exactly a prude, since she has the delicatessen owner's salami
buried deep inside her pussy.
As you probably know, Ann Douglas writes stories that have two major
characteristics: (1) there is almost always a good plot that contains some
fairly hot sex, and (2) the characters often engage in some sort of "moral
immorality." That is, they often break a taboo of some sort, but the author
develops a rationale other than simple-minded urge to violate the taboo.
In this case we have an example of an older woman having sexual relations with
a 17-year-old boy. But instead of having the older woman say, "Hey! There's
a teenager! I think I'll seduce him!", we get a much more sensible lead-in,
which lets us respect both the boy and the woman on the morning after.
Oddly enough, even though I have given you the details in the preceding
paragraph, I still have not told you much about the story. You can still read
it and enjoy the interesting twists and turns of the plot.
Ratings for "Summer Vacation"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Missy Christmas" by Michael K. Smith. Dan is attending the clan's annual
Christmas party, conversing with the elite snobs who constitute his extended
family, when he is accosted by his cousin, Missy Markham, who has been the
cause of most of his wet dreams and early morning erections for about two
years. She's the kind of a girl who has a tendency to make a guy she talks to
have to stand behind a chair to conceal his hard-on. She asks Dan to be her
escort; Dan agrees; and we are led to believe that there is some unusual
significance to this assignment.
They fuck in the attack, and the description of the sex is very hot. The only
problem with this story is that it didn't have quite as interesting a plot as
others by this author. But it's still a darned good story.
Ratings for "A Missy Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Field of Dreams" by Sarlim (Sarlim@aol.com). The narrator and her husband go
to one of those "living history" events, where all the participants dress up
in historically correct costumes and re-enact a part of history. In this case
we find ourselves in medieval times; the husband is Tristan and the wife
Isolt. They make love on the fighting field at night, barely out of sight of
the people in the fire pit. It sounds simple - I guess it IS simple; but it's
also a very nice, romantic story.
Ratings for "Field of Dreams"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Melissa" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). Our Hero is at a family gathering,
where he encounters the lithe and lovely, lewd and lascivious Melissa, a
veritable vision to his aging eyes. When Melissa takes a break to take a
leak, Pat emerges from the shrubbery with the news that Melissa is only
fourteen years old. I'll spoil the surprise ending for you: Our Hero breaks
it off short of having going for a ride in her fur-lined canoe. This is about
the hottest non-sex I have seen around here in a long time.
One interesting side-note. My husband reported to me several years ago that
caring for a baby in public is better than a good pick-up line as a way for a
guy to meet attractive young women. Our Hero expands this theory by using
twins.
Ratings for "Melissa"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mystery Flasher 2" by Phloighd" (jroot@netunlimited.net). This is
technically a follow-up to "Mystery Flasher," the review of which I am
reposting later in this issue. However, this story stands very well on its
own.
The narrator is working in a record store. The Flasher is moving through the
store, getting all the guys - and some of the girls - sexually aroused.
Finally, the narrator makes a Freudian slip - a sexual innuendo referring to
the Flasher when he was supposed to be announcing something else. Instead of
merely embarrassing our hard-working <g> clerk, this turns the Flasher on even
more intensely, and she invites him out to her microbus for a quickie.
This story's intensity of the sexual descriptions - even when sex is not
actually taking place - is impressive. This will appeal to readers of both
genders.
"Singled Out" by akch23 (akch23@hotmail.com). Guest review by Sven.
{Celestial note: This story was listed in the postings as "Singed Out. The
title at the top of the first page said "Singled Out." I suspect the latter
is the author's intention.}
I must really declare an interest, or more accurately a disinterest. Being
dominated by a woman has never really been very high on my lists of things to
do. Oh yes! I am an inveterate scriber of lists - my 'to do things for today'
sometimes gets quite long; and having been written and used to marshal my
thoughts for the day, the list then gets totally ignored. Another thing that
turns me off beyond belief is pain - my religion is devout cowardice and pain
to be avoided at all costs.
Now I am sure that for some good folks, both pain and being humiliatingly
dominated by a woman is their road to perfect bliss - I personally cannot
fathom why - but ours not to reason why etc., etc. The story is complete, has
a plot, and is well told. The mistake in the title is minor, as are one or
two small errors in the text. Although not homonyms they are misspellings
which are in themselves incorrect. I know from personal experience they are
not picked up by a spell checker, but are by a proofreader. (Avail yourselves
of Celeste's free and wonderful service of being put in touch with your very
own proofer right now folks! You are but a request to the good lady away from
this excellent service.)
Although my marks reflect the above comments, this was a good story, and I
have no doubt it will be enjoyed by those who like the subject matter.
Ratings for Singed out
Technical quality: 8 (a good proofer would sort out some minor
problems.)
Plot & character: 9 (Well developed in what is a quite short story)
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Not really my cup of tea.)
"A Lipstick Called . . . BLACKMAIL!" by PleaseCain (pleasecain@aol.com). Guest
review by Bronwen. PleaseCain has a story menu at
http://members.aol.com/pleasecain/stories.
The Mexican housekeeper walks into her employer's bedroom and finds the
teenage son of the house there alone. He's wearing (and jerking off into) the
sexiest pair of Mommy's panties he can find. The housekeeper blackmails him
into submitting to humiliation, into satisfying her, and eventually into
becoming the toy for a group of her male friends.
The transition from the outset, when our wealthy college boy hero has only
ventured a toe into the waters of feminization, to the end when, in wig and
black lace teddy, he actively seeks out his tormentors, is smoothly handled.
The description is good, and the whole set-up is convincing (apart from the
butt-fucking - I suspect the author may not have personal experience).
I appreciated the characterization (scanty, but there). The writer doesn't
describe his characters in list form - so common a flaw in ASS - "My name's
Candy, I'm blonde, 5' 3" and wear a 36b bra" - you know the gubbins - he lets
them and the settings emerge through the narrative. It's well put together.
I was impressed with this story. The version I saw was unformatted - a major
turn-off for me - but I persevered and it was worth it. Some words had run
together, creating charming new ones like 'sheletgo and 'pairofundies'. That
was one hurdle. The other was the subject.
TG, feminization, femdom - none of these are my cup of tea - yet I could see
the excitement through the eyes of the narrator. I enjoyed it. If these *are*
your turn-ons I suspect you'll really love it!
One personal aside - would the author please refrain in future from describing
tidy drawers in such excruciating detail. Gave me the glums for a good half
hour! (chaos is winning in my house - found a pet rat in a sock drawer
yesterday.)
Ratings for "Lipstick Called BLACKMAIL!"
Athena (technical quality): 6 (marks off for format)
Venus (plot & character): 10
Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Wandering Around Campus" by Young Lecher (nobody@REPLAY.COM). Guest review
by Wherryman.
This story, of an MFF encounter by a lake, was not to my taste on several
counts. The style seemed very jerky, and I found the language unappealing -
"I gave Julie's dugs a tug", for example. Finally although it's only a four-
page story, page one seems wasted, introducing characters who immediately
drift out of the story but don't do anything for plot or character
development.
Overall my comments possibly make it sound worse than it is. Read it by all
means, but I wouldn't go hunting for it specially.
Rating for Wandering Around Campus:
Technical merit 8
Plot & character 5
Appeal to reviewer 5
"Camp" by WhiteStar (from oedipus_rex@hotmail.com). Guest review by BillyG.
The review of this MC (mind control) story will be inversely proportional to
its length. When Celeste initially sent me the first chapter of "Camp,"
entitled "Ron's Journey," I remembered having read much of it before, and that
it was very long. Indeed, on looking it up I saw that the first chapter was
179K bytes in length and the size of the -unfinished- tome in my stories
folder was 745K bytes.
I mention these sizes for a purpose. Most of the outstanding stories we've
been privileged to read on a.s.s.m. in the last few years have been of
manageable size. By that I mean, one could curl up in the early evening,
perhaps by the fire, and finish the story with energy left over to woo and
love your mate a bit later. These stories have a beginning, a middle, and
most importantly, an end. (Yeah, yeah. I know. The Jean story is going to
be ended the -next- chapter, I promise.) The appeal of many of these stellar
tales is the pull of an identifiable seduction followed by some sort of
resolution. As opposed to that genre, there are those stories that appear to
go on forever. Oh, they don't actually, but often they don't ever end either.
The author appears to simply become fatigued, usually long after me, and
simply stops writing.
If you like stories with a beginning and an ending, you probably won't be
thrilled over "Camp." On the other hand, if you like MC stories that are
relatively well written, with or without an ending, then this one might well
turn you on. It's rich in detail with a consistency of characters that
carries through. I suppose I had some difficulty with the apparent
directionless path of scenario after scenario. Ron Chaffy is a 13-year-old
boy-pisonic who is going on 50. His insight and wisdom belie his stated
chronological age. He's a horny kid who successfully contrives to have sex
with about every good-looking woman in sight, starting in his own home.
The sex is passionless, as much of mind-control sex is. It becomes difficult
to hold in reverence or appreciation that which can be had with nothing more
than the snap of someone's mental fingers. Where's the desire? The
adventure? The risk? Of course, the answer is, there isn't any.
When I was 13, I certainly might have wished I had that power. Now that I'm
no longer that young, I'm thankful for my humanness. Perhaps that's the key.
It might best appeal to the teenagers in us; but in my view, the story lacks
the substance of "adult" erotica - whatever that is.
Ratings for "Camp"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Death Row 2" by Waldo (MelLin6695@aol.com). {transgender drama}. Guest
review by SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com).
If I had not woken up so early Saturday morning, if it had not been raining,
precluding my morning jog, I doubt I would have read "Death Row ][" of my own
accord. I was flipping through the new stories, one by one, rejecting each
for one reason or another. Then I hit chapter one of this nine chapter, 236K
novella. By the end of the first paragraph, I was hooked. Six hours later I
was sitting down to write a review.
John Augustus is a Mafia Don, biding his time on death row. He's a feisty
fellow though, and isn't going to go down without a fight. Using his
connections he extorts the services of a Chinese magician who can see to it
that John exchanges souls with another person -- specifically a woman, the
rules of magic can be uncomfortable that way. John by nature is a
suspicious man so his cell-mate is the first person to escape this way. Thus
begins a rather intriguing
plot.
How this all fits into "Death Row I" I can't say having never read the
original. That I was able to leap right into the story is a tribute to the
author's talents. If the two had not been part of the title, never would
have guessed there had been an earlier story. The plot is complex though
immanently readable, with many sub-plots being finely woven into a greater
whole. Given the size, the complexity, and the subject matter it's easy to
see how the whole thing could simply fall apart. But it doesn't. From the
first paragraph to the very last, the author deftly holds the reader's
attention.
There is only one problem with the story. As I was reading chapter 8, I began
to get the sinking feeling that the author was going to suddenly tie up all
these loose ends in the last chapter. As I was reading chapter 9, the last
chapter, I began to fear the author would attempt to wrap everything up in one
last paragraph. When I got to the last paragraph, I was devastated to learn
that everything would be resolved in "Death Row III."
The author explained his rational at the end, yet I believe the audience
(especially me) would have been better served if he had not produced a
cliffhanger -- I would have been much happier reading an eighteen chapter
story than a nine chapter cliffhanger. No doubt when "Death Row III" comes
out, I will revisit Eli's archive, reread "Death Row II" and then find out
what happens to these interesting people.
Scoring an unfinished story is a bit difficult. Athena is easy; the technical
quality is as good as anything you'll ever see on Usenet or in professional
print. Venus is trickier because it's unfinished. The plot so far has been
amazingly rich, the sex interesting -- detailed at times, tantalizingly vague
at others. I believe the author has the ability to fulfill his promise in
completing the story so I'll allow some leeway in my score. In appeal to
reviewer I'm knocking off a lone point because the story is a cliffhanger and
I don't want to have to wait to find out how it all ends -- I get enough of
that from Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" epic.
Whether you like transgender or not, I would urge you to take a look at this
story. The gender changes are not dwelled on elaborately and no doubt most
readers will be able to ignore the moral issues this raises. "Death Row ][" is
as well written and as interesting as anything you'll find in your local book
store.
Athena (technical quality): 10-- Perfect
Venus (plot & character): 10-- Very, very interesting story.
Sandman(appeal to reviewer): 9-- Very impressed.
* "Slow Dancing With a Stranger" by Sarlim (sarlim@aol.com). Guest review by
BluePencil.
Hotel bars are one of the staples of erotic literature. Patronized by
strangers both to the locale and to one another, they offer easy anonymity,
lowered inhibitions, and a somewhat structured meeting ground for lonely
people far from home.
When our narrator enters the bar alone, it is almost inevitable that he will
meet someone. Our narrator is in no hurry; it is only after he has found a
table, sipped his drink, and started to relax that he pays attention to the
people on the dance floor.
Soon enough, his attention has focused on the tall, dark-haired beauty who
seems to be accepting only a single dance with each man. But alas, just as he
readies himself to ask for the next, her most recent dance partner sits at her
table. Discouraged, our hero sadly orders a fresh drink . . .
I shan't continue the rest of the story in such detail. Almost casually,
Sarlim maintains the depth of characterization through their meeting, several
surprises, some very well-drawn sex, and an unexpected but well-fitting
ending.
Though many possible cliches are present - the hotel bar, the mysterious
stranger, a possible voyeur - they are handled deftly, a nod to the
conventions rather than a reliance on them. Sarlim is one of the best authors
currently posting to a.s.s, and this story is a fine example of his work.
Ratings for "Slow Dancing With a Stranger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Mystery Flasher" by Phloighd (jroot@netmcr.com). The narrator is working
in a remote section of a record and book store. A very attractive woman comes
up to his counter and starts flirting with him. The conversation is sexy and
seductive. There's really not much to say about this story, except that it's
extremely sexy and seductive - and I've already said that.
This is this author's first story. Either he got lucky or I want to see a lot
more stories from him.
Ratings for "Mystery Flasher"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Livinia" by Friar Dave. Hubris can be a serious problem. The term refers
to "an overweening pride" or over-confidence typically shown by heroes in
classical tragedies immediately before their downfall. I haven't used the
word "overweening" since I wrote that definition on an exam nearly 20 years
ago; but I have had my share of hubris. In the present case, I figured that I
knew Friar Dave so well that after I had read in Part 1 about him having
passionate sex with a hot Filipino woman with a cute daughter, I figured I had
the story pretty well figured out. They would make love in numerous
interesting ways; he would become a devoted father figure for the daughter;
and Livinia and our hero would get married and live happily ever after.
Then at the beginning of Part 2 my mind was jarred to discover that the hero
already had a wonderful but open relationship with another beautiful woman who
sometimes liked the same ladies that the hero liked. That's hubris for you.
The opposite of hubris is Socratic humility; and it will be more useful in the
present situation. I know nothing except that I know nothing about this
story, and I had better get back to it. It sounds both hot and interesting.
Surprises abound in this story. Soon we learn that Livinia was essentially a
sex slave in the Philippines, but through some good luck she managed to get
away with her daughter to the United States. We also discover that Livinia
has a confused sister with some lesbian proclivities, and that Livinia is one
of those proclivities.
In addition to teaching English I have done a lot of work with sexually abused
women. The main difference between Livinia and most of the woman who have
been through similar experiences is that she is still alive and even
adaptively functional at the age of 30.
The story is realistic, sensitive, and sexy. Friar Dave's writing style is
not as sharp as it has been in most of his other stories, but maybe he got
wrapped up in the plot too. I found this to be a most enjoyable story.
Ratings for "Livinia"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Emptiness" by DevoSpudC (cwilson9@ix.netcom.com). Erika has always known
herself to be beautiful: she won her first beauty pageant at age eleven.
Tonight her boyfriend has been murdered in a drive-by shooting and she has run
off into the street, tried to kill herself, been rescued by a passing
motorist, and has essentially been raped by that man.
This is a weird and confusing story - but deliberately so. It's not really
all that sexy, but it certainly did hold my attention.
Ratings for "Emptiness"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Sucker" by BronwenSM (bronwensm@cuckoo.clara.net). Live and learn, that's
what I always say. I've spent my life on this side of the pond. I always
thought the British were much like the rest of us. I read Shakespeare, of
course, but I always figured he's been dead for nearly a hundred years now,
and I figured the British didn't really talk that way. I have always been
pretty sure that the people of the UK really liked us over here in the
colonies, because after all the American Revolution was really a fight between
a group of British subjects and a German King - the Germans, don't get me off
on them or I'll never get back to this review. I figured MAYBE the British
talked in iambic pentameter and expressed their love in sonnets and could
actually understand what John Milton was talking about and sang "Singing in
the Rain" on those occasions when they raped somebody. But even though I
often wondered how they got along with almost no real television and why all
the good musicians left the country as soon as they grew up, I knew that deep
down they were ordinary blokes, although I wasn't really sure whether it was
proper to refer to a female Brit as a bloke.
I could go on, but the point is that along came BronwenSM, who has two capital
letters at the end of her name. So right away I knew that I was going to
learn things about my confreres from the Mother Country.
Anyway, this is a story about a 16-year-old girl {that would probably be 17 in
ordinary years, eh Mate?} who was formerly what we Americans call a plain
Jane. While she's laid up {no sexual connotation, even in England} with
glandular fever, her body goes through what American talk shows {BBC Channel
2} sometimes call adolescent metamorphosis. In short, she comes back a babe -
a young femme fatale, one might say - after spending some time convalescing at
huge tatty mansion on a cliff with a private beach of Aunt Dolly in Wales.
Or, as a more astute British author might put it, during her hiatus she had
gone from the plainly porcine to lithe and lascivious loveliness. When she
returned to school, her impact on society was emphatic if not traumatic. Great
gangs of men on building sites shrieked at her like gibbons, old men slipped
off their Zimmer frames when she went into the post office, and her terrifying
chemistry master went red all the way up his neck whenever he looked at her
and then left a really embarrassing poem in my pigeon hole.
So when this bloke she fancied asked her to go swimming with him, she nearly
dropped down dead with delight. See what I mean? American teenagers would
simply cum in their panties, which doesn't even alliterate, as if they would
know what that means! Way gone, dude! I think I'm going to give up trying to
imitate the British style in this subtle manner and simply get on with it.
After all, I have viewed the dismal situation and it is ours, as the Great
British Poet once said.
The boyfriend's name is Oliver, which is sometimes another name for John
Thomas (or, in America, Johnson or more informally Dick), and so this reminds
me of another story that I heard back in the 70's. A man and a woman went on
their honeymoon - in Wales, I think. After several hours of what the man
considered to be a most excellent First Night Experience with his virgin
bride, she went to the bathroom - I forget what the British call it - you
know, the crapper. Anyway, the man looks over the newspaper for something to
do the next day, and he comes across an interesting movie. So he shouts,
"Would you like to see "Oliver Twist," Luv?" The wife replies, "You do one
more trick with that bloody thing, and I'm going home to my Mum." {By Jove, I
think I got it!}
Anyway, Oliver develops an infirmity (the blood suddenly rushes to his thing),
and the young lady has to give him first aid. She quickly becomes so good at
first aid that the boys are pretty much lining up to be serviced.
This is an excellent story - both sexy and humorous.
Before I end this review, I'd like to say just one more thing about British
speech, which gets especially awkward when they ride bicycles. For example, I
picked up this anecdote on another newsgroup:
I was walking down the street with my wife the other day when we saw our
neighbor (a very genial Jamaican bloke) riding by on his bike. Suddenly the
bike flips and our poor neighbor finds himself spread eagled on the pavement.
My wife immediately said: "That black bloke's bike's back brake block broke."
British people can actually SAY things like that! Just imagine if the
Jamaican bloke would have been a bleached blond!
Ratings for "Sucker"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Sucker, chapters 2 and 3" by BronwenSM (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). Guest review by
Mat Twassel.
If you missed BronwenSM's "Sucker" a few months ago, don't make the same
mistake this go 'round. It was Celeste's Best of the Month when it first
appeared, and it's gotten even better thanks to two subsequent chapters, "Oh,
Bugger," in which the now lovely Kim-but-Dim learns about bottom fucks, and
"Revelations," in which Kim comes to discover passion's promises and rewards.
Rollicking good-spirited fun! I hope this is not the ultimate climax.
In Chapter I, if you remember, 17 year old Kim, suddenly big-breasted and
incredibly beautiful, falls for some well-to-do boy's line that if she doesn't
relieve his sexual urge the clotted blood will burst his brain... or something
like that. Desperately afraid of babies, Kim uses her hands, and then her
mouth, and finds she's good at it, and likes it, and is suddenly oh-so-
popular! The girls don't like her much, but one can't have everything.
In Chapter II, Kim tells us over lunch about her daddy's fall from power and
rise to riches, which leads to Mummy's brush with polo and Kim's sudden
education in anal sex at the hands and etcetera of Eddie the Greek. All
along, Kim's narrational voice is rich with unintentional naughty puns and
outrageous innocence. I don't really know how to take her, but she's
deliciously sexy and so is the writing:
So I was kneeling as if I was worshipping
the sofa and thinking all these jumbled thoughts
when all of a sudden I felt this presence at my
arse. He was sort of looming - I could feel him
rubbing the soft hot purply end of his dick up
and down between my arse cheeks like a warm plum.
His movements were slow and lingering, stopping
completely for a moment every time he touched
the actual hole itself.
It was nice. It was very nice. I could actually
feel my bum hole sort of yearning. It was trying
to open outwards. And then he very gently pushed
the round hot tip of his cock into my bum. I gasped
and tried to relax, but I was grateful when he
withdrew a little to let me adjust. It was a very
sexy feeling, but a bit tense-making. I focused on
letting him in, and maybe it would have all gone
smoothly if he hadn't got impatient.
I particularly like the "soft hot purply end": isn't it neat that the cock has
color in Kim's mind even when it's out of sight? BronwenSm consistently
amazes us with words--ordinary, rich, sometimes unexpected, always just right.
Greek Eddie is, it turns out, a phony as well as a cad: after his most
promising beginning he abuses Kim almost brutally, but for some reason Kim
continues to let him use her bottom all through chapter two.
Good old Uncle Barn, a college chum of Kim's dad, comes to the rescue in
Chapter III. The ending, though not "exactly" Pride and Prejudicy, is
certainly juicy.
Reservations? Minor stuff, mostly. Chapter I, on its own, is awfully top-
heavy--too much repetition concerning Kim's physical development and not
enough development of character or plot... but with length this awkwardness
smoothes out some. Similarly, we do seem to learn more about Kim's dad than
the plot demands--maybe some of him appears more for word play and marginal
satire than anything else. Much as I enjoy Kim's language, sometimes she talks
too much instead of giving us scenes. And the rendering of action, often
flowingly poetic--consider the passage above--doesn't always reveal as much as
it might: we learn what Kim thinks about getting fucked in the ass, for
example, but we don't feel it with that deep intensity offered at onset.
I wonder whether we really need that lunch to get us through chapter two...
It's slightly confusing and serves no great purpose, as far as I can see. And
finally, the narrator changes at the end of Chapter III--Kim could have
handled the final scene just as well or better on her own. In short, there
may be a few small structural issues and flaws, and maybe when this is all
done, these will be mended. But Celeste, you're gonna hafta read this story:
certainly it'll be a strong contender for best of the month.
Ratings for "Sucker" {Added by Celeste}
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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