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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 251 - Jan 21
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Celestial Reviews 251 - January 21, 1998
Note: It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was
establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer."
So she said, "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell
me your REAL name!"
The kid said, "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across
the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"
Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the
hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door. The fourth grade teacher
had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the
room and directly asked the class, "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?"
"Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row; "We don't even get a
cookie break!"
Second note: An author named "Gregarious" has lost contact with his
proofreader, who seems to have moved to a new e-mail address. If that
proofreader could please re-establish contact with Gregarious, we would
appreciate it.
Third note: You may have noticed that someone has been reposting all of
deirdre's stories. I have previously reposted all of my reviews of those
stories, and I don't feel inclined to do it again - there are about 150 of
them. If you are not familiar with deirdre, my advice is to read two or three
of her stories. If you like those, you'll like them all. If you hate those,
you should skip the rest.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Soccer Moms" by Mark Aster (casual encounters) 10, 9, 9
"Johnny Stayed After" by Bymsap (adolescent fantasy)
9, 5, 5
"Tempest" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (father/daughter
kiddysex) 8, 5, 3
"Football Fantasy" by Maura Nelson (gang-bang) 9.5, 9, 8
"Ginger-with-a-D and the Hunk-and-a-Half" by Erin
Halfelven (light bdsm) 8, 8, 8
"The Visitation" by Lord Malinov (one nighter) 10, 10, 9
"Janet in Training" by sfmaster (sex slavery) 9, 8, 4
"Letter to the Staff ..." by Vickie Tern (TG) 10, 9, 8
Guest Reviews:
"The Reunion" by Phil Phantom (dominance & incest) 9, 9, 8
"The Accident" by William A. Lemieux (sci fi sex) 9, 7, 5
"Katy" by Greatness (incest & more) 4, 4, 3
"Letter to the Staff ..." by Vicki Tern (TG) 10, 6, 3
"After" - by Ero-Tales & Adrian Hunter
"Pentaprism (Chapters 1-3)" by Mary Jorsay Gandmar
"Patricia and Her Son" by R. Wood (incest) 9, 9, 9
"A Brother's Love by Stephen Peters (incest) 8.5, 8, 7
"Inamorata" - by Art Montage (intergenerational sex) 8, 7, 7
Reposted Reviews:
* "Bird Watchers" by Anonymous (voyeurism & hot
romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Gwen and Wendy - Amateur Astronomers" by
Jonathan Dzoba (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10
* "JayCee" by Vickie Tern (transgender femdom) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Soccer Moms" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). I guess it was during the
American presidential election campaigns of 1996 that the news magazines
started using the term "soccer moms" to refer to the young mothers who drive
station wagons or minivans to transport their kids to activities like soccer
practice and who apparently represented the crucial swing vote at that time in
American politics. In this story Mark Aster further explores the affairs <g>
of the people in this sociological category.
Some of them are very creative people. For example, Wendy Jacobs used to bring
handi-wipes to clean up after they did it in her Subaru twice a week all one
summer, Tuesdays and Thursdays behind Kiddy City while her son was in karate
class. But you don't often get soccer moms naked. Mostly there's just enough
time for a squeeze and a quick slick coupling, no time for undressing and
dressing again.
What we have here is brief descriptions of lots of sexy encounters. Kind of
like "Hints from Heloise for Suburban Sluts." It's really pretty good reading!
Obviously, things like this don't really happen. Soccer moms actually spend
most of their time learning the rules of soccer, so that they can be more
helpful to their children and to the officials during the games. If soccer
moms screwed around like this, America would have a pitiful presence in world
soccer.
Ratings for "Soccer Moms"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Johnny Stayed After" by Bymsap (bymsap@aol.com). Jill Simpson had almost
been date raped back in high school. As a result, from that day until this,
she has been withdrawn - afraid of men and their mindless lust, but
desperately in need of relief from the tensions her delightful body keeps
sending her. Now she's a high school English teacher, staying after school
with Johnny, who can't seem to get his mind on his work - primarily because he
can't get it off Miss Simpson. Fortunately, Johnny works up his courage and
blurts out his love for his teacher. She responds by leading him to the
teacher's lounge next door, where they fuck gently and beautifully.
This story reminds me of the English teacher who was giving a lesson on double
negatives. She pointed out that two negatives make a positive. "For
example," she said, "'I don't never cuss' really means that I do sometimes
cuss." She gave a few more examples, and then a bright young girl raised her
hand and asked, "If two negatives make a positive, do two positive make a
negative?" The teacher replied, "No. There is never a case in the English
language when two positives make a negative."
"Yeah. Right!" muttered a student in the back of the room.
That's the end of the joke. See - "yeah" and "right" are both positives, but
when stated in this way, they evoke a negative connotation.
That's what I feel about this story. Yeah. Right. We're supposed to believe
that a 23-year-old woman who has been traumatized into sexual withdrawal can
get over it by copulating with a teenager in the teacher's lounge. Gimme a
break!
Once we grant that this is a simplistic adolescent fantasy, I'll also grant
that it's a pretty good one. That's what we English scholars call "damning
with faint praise." What I mean is that if you are a high school boy who
lusts after your English teacher, you can use this story as a basis for sex
fantasies while you jerk off over the picture of her that happens to be the
centerfold in the magazine you hide under your mattress. Of course, if the
preceding sentence describes you, you're not supposed to be here in the first
place!
Ratings "Johnny Stayed After"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Tempest" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Sxjames@aol.com). The narrator is married
to a bitch who has let herself go. The ole lady just doesn't like sex, and
the guy isn't going to get any from her. What's a guy to do? Well, fuck
their 14-year-old daughter, of course. I'm pretty sure it says in the
Constitution or in the Bible or someplace that a man has a right to do this,
as long as he's nice and sweet to the little girl. For some reason not fully
understood by psychologists, daughters who are used in this way by their
fathers are protected from pregnancy and emotional trauma, and they grow up to
be sexually vibrant rocket scientists or social workers who are particularly
adept at spreading goodness and kindness throughout the world. Yeah. Right.
Actually, the guy in this story doesn't do anything as sick as that. He just
goes over and stands by her bed and fondles her and sniffs her underpants and
inserts his fingers into her pussy and then sniffs them. Real he-man stuff.
The kid - whose name is Tempie - says, " "Daddy, don't do this..."; but he
goes ahead and continues to be nice to her anyway. Then "the anxiety in her
eyes is replaced by a glaze of sexual lust." The father feels guilty, but hey
- rocket scientists make good money. But still, something should be done
about this sort of thing. I say, throw the wife in jail! It's all her fault.
"Goodnight, Daddy," Tempie whispers; "I love you!"
Imagine that.
The person who posted this story labeled it "intense." I think the word we're
looking for here is "insipid."
Ratings "Tempest"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Football Fantasy" by Maura Nelson (sexylines@hotmail.com). There's a sub-
genre of stories in the a.s.s. newsgroup that could be labeled football gang-
bang stories. In most of them the guys gather to watch a football game, and
the wife entertains them by taking off her clothes and getting fucked in every
possible orifice. I guess I'd put this story in that sub-genre, even though
the man and woman are not yet married and even though the television is in a
different room.
Norma has been looking for a good man. She's also looking for a man who likes
sex as much as she does. There are two relevant sayings here, both attributed
to either Mark Twain or Benjamin Disraeli:
(1) A good man is hard to find, and
(2) A hard man is good to find.
George is (1) but not (2). Nevertheless, he has five friends who are visiting
for the Super Bowl party, and they are willing to cooperate to satisfy Norma's
needs.
The sex is not exactly poetic, but it's raunchy, which may serve the purpose
just as well. The usual apertures and orifices get filled; and as usual, the
boyfriend loves the girlfriend even more after she has banged the gang for
him. This is an interesting variation on the football gang-bang theme.
Ratings "Football Fantasy"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Ginger-with-a-D and the Hunk-and-a-Half" by Erin Halfelven
(erotonomicon@hotmail.com). This story contains a lightbulb joke with a wrong
answer. The question is, "How many men does it take to screw in a light
bulb?" The right answer is, "Just one. But you need an awful big lightbulb
to fit inside with him." You can read the story for the author's answer.
This author has an interesting style. She should probably upgrade her grammar
by using more periods and semicolons, but the point I want to make here is
that she uses //double slashes// to indicate emphasis. The way the author
uses these, I can almost here her talking like a stereotypical blonde bimbo.
Don't get on my case. Some of my best friends are blondes, but the blonde
jokes //are// funny. For example, "Have you ever seen blondes making love on
TV? No, they keep falling off."
Anyway, Ginger has //red// hair, and these double slashes work a lot better if
you switch to Times rather than New York font. The title had me going,
because I thought maybe the D was her bra size, but it's really her last name
- Ginger Rodgers with a D, no relation.
So Ginger is a big girl, and she needs a big man, one of which comes into her
office at the bank, where everyone ogles her but shows no signs of sexual
harassment, even though they seem to ask her to get things off high shelves
more than the average American Bear. So the guy asks her out to lunch, and
she takes him to a restaurant with big boobs - er, big //booths//. My mistake
regarding the preceding word is understandable, since the size of the booth is
irrelevant. They don't fuck until they get to his apartment later that
evening. It turns out the guy even has a big //tongue// for chrissake. Well,
a hard guy is good to find, especially a big, hard guy in this case. So after
the preliminary orgasms, when he says he'd like to tie her up for the next
blowjob, she offers to tie //him// up instead. //Dayem!// Do they have a good
time!
This is not really a great work of literature. I mean it doesn't have much of
a //plot// or anything like that. But I really like the tone of the story.
It's what my British friends might call //cheeky//. I suspect that this
author is going to do something creative {like have someone //proofread// her
stories or maybe work on the plot a little} someday; and then we're going to
be treated to some //really// great stuff. However, I've had just about
enough of the <<<double slashes>>>.
Ratings "Ginger-with-a-D"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Visitation" by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com). The narrator is left
home alone while his more studly roommate spends the night out chasing women.
A beautiful woman shows up at the apartment door, claiming to be the
roommate's sister. Our Hero lets her stay; she comes on to him; then she cums
onto him. She goes her way the next morning. It turns out that the roommate
doesn't have a sister.
There! I've told you the plot; but I guessed the ending and still enjoyed the
story. So will you.
Ratings "The Visitation"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Janet in Training" by sfmaster (sfmaster@worldnet.att.net). This is a novel-
length story. If I am going to set aside enough time to read a whole novel, I
have to have a reason to want to do so. Since this story was purportedly
about sex slavery, I couldn't see an initial justification to spend that much
time on it; and so I decided I would read just the first and last chapters and
then decide whether it seemed to be worth reading the rest. I am telling you
this because it is conceivable that there may have been something in the
middle chapters that would change my opinion of this story. However, I
wouldn't bet on it.
This story is about Janet, whose sex life hasn't been amounting to much
anyway, and so she has become interested in bondage. To be specific, she has
decided to have a fling at becoming the slave of Mistress Erica.
What we learn from this story is that doms live in great wealth and are really
generous loving people. The apparent torture that they impose on their subs
is for the subs' own good, since punishment is closely related to both
pleasure and sex. We also discover that it takes patience and training to
become a good slave girl, but it's all worth it in the end. This story also
has the twist of comparing a good mistress to a bad mistress. It also includes
some additional unusual novelties in plot development, which you can discover
these for yourself if you decide to read this story.
As I read this story, I couldn't help comparing the sex slavery portrayed here
with American slavery, as it was described in "Roots," in "Amistad," and in
reputable history books. If you have read "Gone with the Wind" or if you have
seen the movie, you know that slavery wasn't really so bad in America. Slaves
often loved their masters and mistresses, who treated them like their own
children; and when slaves had a chance to go free, they often preferred to
stay with their owners. That image of slavery is simply not true. American
slavery really sucked, in the worst sense of that word.
I CAN imagine a world where kindly masters take care of their adult underlings
and punish them harshly for their own good and where both the master and the
victim benefit from these transactions. However, such places don't exist in
real life. The simple fact is that nearly all sane people vehemently reject
slavery and seek freedom at almost any cost.
In ante-bellum America, it WOULD have been possible for a slave to view a good
master as a good thing. A slave might have believed that Massa' Smith was a
really great master, because Massa' Smith beat his slaves only rarely and with
a smaller whip than other masters. Slaves could legitimately perceive that
there was no way they were ever going to be free or ever be successful at
anything if they were freed. Therefore, a person under these circumstances
might honestly love his master and even decline an opportunity to become free.
It's reasonable to believe that some people could have similar perceptions
about sexual slavery; and such perceptions could form the basis for a good
story. But there needs to be a better rationale for this kind of perception
than was stated in the present story.
Like most authors of this genre, the author of this story would like us to
believe, I suppose, that there is something different about sexual slavery. I
just don't buy it, and there is nothing in this story that makes me change my
mind.
I don't know what it is that makes people believe that sexual slavery differs
in fundamental principles from other forms of brutalization. Sure, sexual
mistreatment may involve physiological reactions that are normally associated
with pleasure, but the overwhelming reaction of normal people to rape is
hatred toward the rapist - not gratitude for a good fuck. What is the logic
of assuming that sex slavery would be different? People whom I have
personally known who have been used and abused sexually have invariably either
(1) eagerly sought their freedom or (2) developed severe emotional
dysfunctions. {Note that the preceding sentence does not refer to all bdsm -
just to sexual slavery as it is described in stories like this one.}
I can even imagine deriving pleasure from engaging in bondage on a temporary
basis. I mean, if I can enjoy a movie like "Schindler's List," why can't I
enjoy playing the role of a pitifully subservient creature - especially if the
situation were structured so that I could play the role well? But this story
is not about role playing. It's about a permanent change of lifestyle in
which trust is defined as letting another person use the slave for her own
gratification. Nor does this story give me an effective gateway through which
I can enjoy an unusual fantasy. It's just plain contrary to common sense that
a person would find authentic fulfillment under those circumstances, and the
story does nothing to overcome my predisposition to feel this way.
I DO believe that there can be a wonderful charge in subordinating myself to
the control of another person who will take care of me, perhaps even by
inducing me to do things that are initially contrary to my will but will be
good for me in the long run. However, that does not include submitting myself
to the domination of a capricious master or mistress who will use me to
enhance her own personal gratification.
In short, if you are a person who already buys into the notion that sex
slavery is one of the greatest of all possible lifestyles, then this story is
likely to be one that you'll enjoy. This story does a good job of
implementing the ritualistic beliefs of sex slavery advocates. On the other
hand, if you are a person who is skeptical or even non-judgmental about sex
slavery, I doubt that this will either convert you or even appear to be a very
interesting story. It came across to me as a sort of adolescent fairy tale:
wouldn't it be great if we could dominate people and make them our sexual
playthings and have them enjoy it every bit as much as we do? Actually, my
answer to that question is, "No, not especially."
I HAVE read bdsm and sex slavery stories to which I have given high ratings.
Examples include "Owning Corey" by Don Boettger, "Birthday Present" by
OddManOut Anywhere, and "Box Office" by Cobalt Jade, as well as "Chosen" and
"Deck" by Tom Bombadil. Each of these stories challenged me by asking me to
do something other than blindly accept the notion that sex slavery can be fun.
In case you're wondering - no, I did not read the rest of this novel. It
seems to be a simplistic sex slavery story based on the usual formulations,
and I can find better things to do with my time.
Let me conclude by saying that I do NOT consider the author of this story to
be a misguided pervert. I'll bet he doesn't even own a dungeon! My
assumption is that he would like to write better stories, and the detailed
discussion that I have supplied here may help him or other authors in their
efforts.
Ratings "Janet in Training"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Letter to the Staff ..." by Vickie Tern (VickiTern@aol.com). I sent this
story to Fiddler for guest review; and when his ratings came back negative, I
decided to take a look at this story myself. The main question in my mind
was: Are the low ratings warranted? The answer is yes and no.
I am not going to restate a summary of the plot here. For a slightly sardonic
summary, see Fiddler's review later in this issue.
Fiddler uses one of my favorite tests for stories that are potentially "in-
group" material: does the story make good sense to a person who is not a
member of that in-group? In the preceding review I rejected as a bad story a
sex-slavery story because it just didn't ring true to me as a non-sex-slaver.
There are people who think that sex slavery stories are really great, but I am
not a member of that in-group. That story may appeal to those people, but if
the author is writing for a larger audience, I think that story falls short.
Fiddler is saying the same thing here. There are people who thrive on
transgender stories, but he is not one of them. He says that this story may
appeal to TG people, but not to him.
I see Fiddler's point, but I myself am not a TG groupie. I think the very
notion that a person can change sex really quickly and easily is a stretch of
the imagination. But if I grant the possibility that hormonal treatments and
behavior modification are considerably more effective than I have found them
to be in my personal experience, then the story IS logically sound. In short,
I am willing to say that this is a pretty good story both for in-group and
out-group readers. I guess the difference between Fiddler and me lies in the
ease with which we grant this possibility.
This is not one of this author's best efforts. I think the format has
something to do with this shortcoming: the author functions better in beauty
shops than in memos.
One reason I have added my own review in addition to the guest review is to
emphasize the subjective nature of these ratings. I think Fiddler and I are
both intelligent readers and reviewers, but we diverge sharply in our
evaluations of this story. But note that the main divergence is in the
NUMERICAL ratings. If you read our narratives, you will see that Fiddler and
I are giving very similar advice with regard to this story.
Ratings "Letter to the Staff ..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Reunion" by Phil Phantom (slutmissy@hotmail.com). Guest review by
Wherryman.
Twenty years after they left school Jenny and Arnold and their teenage
children are visited by an old school friend. Brent had been Jenny's boyfriend
but dropped out to join the army. Arnold stepped in, and he married Jenny
soon after. All Brent got was a 'Dear John' letter. Since Brent had been the
school bully and had been very dominant in his very sexual relationship with
Jenny, it is a visit they have been dreading.
In the main I enjoyed the ensuing tale of Brent's take-over and sexual
domination of the whole family. It's told well, characters are fleshed out
and have motives, and the sex doesn't just take over as it sometimes does in
m+f+ situations.
My grammar checker threw up a few "sexist phrase" warnings, but in a.s.s.m
what do you expect? Other mistakes were minor and certainly didn't interfere
with the story.
My reservations are purely personal. I don't have trouble with the incest or
teen sex aspects - but I didn't like the threat of violence that pervades the
story. It's entirely necessary, and it's to the author's credit that it's
there, just not to my taste.
I've not come across Phil Phantom's stories before; so I have no idea how
typical this theme is. I'll be interested in seeing other Phantom reviews
myself, since I now have several stories in my possibly-to-be-read folder.
Rating for "The Reunion"
Technical merit 9
Plot & character 9
Appeal to reviewer 8
"The Accident" by William A. Lemieux (Reposted by Ole Joe). Guest review by
BillyG.
"The Accident" is a long, often tedious story that has little to do with
eroticism. First, I suppose, it's a science fiction story with BDSM elements,
specifically, fetish wear. Oh, there are brief and limited descriptions of
sexual activity, but they're rendered with the same lack of passion and
eroticism as is say, the account of the accident that altered their physiology
and consequently their lives, never to normalize.
For those who are fans of bondage and fetish wear, specifically total body
latex, there may be an appeal. Too, for those who find it easy to make the
science fiction leap of acceptance of improbable, even impossible plot lines,
there may exist a significant mine of enjoyment in the nearly 20,000 words of
first-person story telling. That was not the case for me.
The husband-wife protagonists in "The Accident" come across as largely
featureless. The story's plot is best described as a series of science-
fiction situations while the ending of the story has the feel of that place
where the author became bored and stopped. I didn't last as long and was
reduced to skimming just to see if it ever went anywhere. It did. From bad
to worse.
This is not to imply that science fiction story about bondage can't be erotic.
One has only to read the classic "Shapeshifter" to appreciate the substantive
eroticism that can be brought to the genera. However, this story doesn't make
it.
Ratings for "The Accident
Athena (technical quality): 9 A spell checker would have helped.
Venus (plot & character): 7
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Katy" by Greatness (great@3-cities.com). Guest review by Anne747
(Anon747@aol.com).
I almost told Celeste I didn't want to review this piece. First the ages of
the characters are a little out of my comfort zone (I prefer my characters
probably 21+, okay with 18+, marginal with 16+). One of the girls in this
piece is 15. So first, along with the self coded intro of 'f/exhib, f/mas
f/vacuum' it should include teen. Also, incest and spanking would likely be
appropriate too, since at one point daddy spanks our main character to orgasm.
Putting personal preferences aside, I thought I could probably still review it
with some detachment. I was wrong. However, not for the reasons most people
think. First, let me say, if the author's first language is not English some
of the following does not apply. It takes great commitment to write a piece
in a language you don't have a complete grasp of. However, having said that,
it wouldn't hurt to have someone who knows more than you to proofread it. If
you are looking for an English speaking audience, you need to clean up the
story.
Personal opinion though is that this piece has been written by a high school
student who frankly needs to spend more time in school than online. The story
is filled with pieces like the following:
"I picked a cutest guy and pulling him onto the dance floor."
"The reach out and tried to catch me."
"I new what had happened, but I pretended not to notice."
"The song stop and the stood there, with my breasts hunging out and sweating
running down between them."
And the above lines were in the first page. I honestly can't give you an
opinion on the 'heat' of the piece because it is close to impossible to read.
Some of the lines just don't make sense. I tried my best to find something
good to say about the piece. I don't know, thinking it was maybe written by a
teenage boy (regardless of the introduction), maybe other teenage boys would
get a kick out of it. I'm not sure that the story would even hold up if the
obvious errors were removed, it just reads poorly.
Ratings for "Katy"
I'm going to cop out and not give any
Ratings from Celeste for "Katy"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Letter to the Staff ..." by Vickie Tern (vickietern@aol.com). Guest review by
Fiddler.
Andy and Kate are housemates and bedmates. Andy has even proposed to Kate.
Then she discovers his fetish of wanting to be a sissy-slave. Will the
discovery destroy their relationship? It will certainly destroy _that_
relationship.
She demands that he submit to her and allow her to do whatever she wants with
him. When he agrees, she shoots him with two hypodermic loads of material
that she happens to have around the house from her job as a nurse. One
tranquilizes him, and the other is a potent load of estrogen. When he wakes
up, the weekend has passed, he has new breast implants, and his feminization
is well on the road. Exit Kate's boyfriend Andy, enter Ms. Katherine's
sluttish slave Annie.
Right here, we run into the problem of a general review system for this
newsgroup. It may well be that this is a masterpiece within the rules of TG
stories; I wouldn't know. It is certainly written well on the grammatical
level. It does nothing, however, to persuade an outsider.
There is the slightest hint at the end of the story that this transformation
might have been plotted beforehand, but nothing to suggest how the dominants
have selected their submissive. We are told that Andy had always dreamed of
this form of submission, but also that he entered the weekend thinking that it
would be a weekend game. He had not expected the breasts, much less that his
genitals would be rendered inoperative.
This story is strictly for those who have internalized the premise. Of
course, every woman wants a sissy-slave and every man wants to be one; so
there is no need to explain the coincidence of these two with the matching
desires getting together on another basis. There is no need to deal with the
question of a malpractice suit, since everyone knows Andy will come to just
love it before he can find the listing for lawyers in the Yellow Pages.
The reader must swallow more than the premise, however. My last review was of
an afternoon penile implant, after which the man went cruising intending to
use it that night; but it was _meant_ to be funny. Andy spends one weekend
doped up and awakens the following Monday with a breast implant, more
sensitive nipples, and virtually no pain. I doubt that Vickie Tern has had
surgery.
This one is meant for the true believers.
Ratings for "Letter to the Staff ..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 3
"After" - by Ero-Tales with additional material by Adrian Hunter (). Guest
review by Kim.
Before I start I would like to say that if anybody wishes to say anything
unpleasant about my reviews then kindly direct them to me at
Ghost@nym.alias.net and not harangue Celeste. She doesn't need or deserve
hostile treatment for something she didn't write, ok!
Well, here we have long and unusual story. It's not so much a sex story as a
conventional story with sex scenes in it. The majority of it was written by
Ero-Tales who left it as an unfinished work that Adrian Hunter liked so much
he felt obliged to add a concluding chapter. It's also a Sci-Fi story set in
the reasonably near future. A future recognizable from many present day
conventions and realities, but with a slightly more advanced technology such
as flying cars powered by super powerful, yet small and lightweight batteries.
You still with me, after what must be the most boring intro to a review ever
written? <sigh>.
Anyway, a nuclear missile exchange has just happened and our hero, David,
staggers out of the rubble wearing only his boxers and having been saved by a
pool table. Wandering about the destruction that had been his city he happens
across a poor woman, Wendy, trapped under some rubble. To complicate matters,
she had been indulging in some bondage with her now squished boyfriend, and is
hog-tied and gagged with chains (ouch!) and stark naked. With some struggling
he frees her and she and David set out to survive in the post apocalyptic
wasteland that North America has now become.
It's obviously just not a very good day for the couple, as all sorts of trials
and tribulations befall them before journey's end.
Well... as a piece of story telling it's not at all bad really. At times I
wished the plot would move on a bit faster. The author goes to town on some
vivid set pieces but I kept thinking "Oh for God's sake get on with it will
ya!". Which I should add I was talking to the characters, so if and author can
suspend my disbelief to that extent then s/he ain't doing a bad job!
Sure it's easy to nitpick the highly unlikely plot elements, I mean a nuclear
war between Canada and the USA hardly seems likely now does it <smile>. And
gagging Wendy for the entire length of the story just seems a good way of
avoiding having to write any convincing dialog. As a final letdown, I think
Adrian added reasonably well to the story up until a particularly silly final
exchange between Wendy and David. If I were Ero-Tales I wouldn't be best
pleased, but hell, maybe it's what s/he would've liked, who knows? <shrug>.
Bottom line: I liked it a lot, but it had some silly things in it, and the sex
could best be described as superfluous. It will be interesting to see if Ero-
Tales ever returns to finish it her/his way. This was an enjoyable way to
spend an hour or so.
Ratings for "After"
Athena (technical quality): 9 (Very good, maybe should be a ten?)
Venus (plot & character): 9 (Set pieces unbalanced the main
narrative)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Not bad as an "end of the world" story.
Zero arousal though.)
"Pentaprism (Chapters 1-3)" by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com).
Guest review by Mark Aster.
A five-sided prism, five images, each a little different, but essentially the
same. She is a young upper-class woman in India, firm-bodied, breasts
pendulous, cunt dripping, lips smiling, face in ecstasy, the gold chain around
her neck slithering over her rich brown skin as her servant fucks her
energetically from behind. They do it again and again, in all positions, all
orifices, and they whisper and shout tender filth to each other as they fuck
for hours. "Do it to me," she wails, "fuck me like a whore!"
This is pure stroke-stuff. I've read only three of the chapters, but I assume
from the title that there are five. In the first we see Anuja as a grown and
married woman, being fucked repeatedly by the servant Bharat. Some video
cameras and her mysteriously-aloof husband are also involved. In the other
two, she is young and unmarried, first showing off her young body in some
wonderful masturbation while the servant Baban watches through the keyhole,
and then inviting him to deflower her, and finally fucking four of his friends
more or less simultaneously. She is the classic insatiably lustful woman, a
standard dish on the porn menu, and either a tool of patriarchal domination or
a symbol of woman's essentially uncontrollable and free sexual nature,
depending on your politics.
The "pentaprism" idea is interesting (I'm inferring the idea from the title
and the layout of the stories; I haven't read anything directly from the
author about it). In a way it's fun, and very sexy, to see this woman's
devouring sexuality from five slightly different angles. On the other hand
the angles are perhaps not different enough: we see that chain rocking at
least five times, which is not a bad image, but we also get told about the
kajal around her eyes three times, we see a cock described as "ramming and
reaming" three times, we read the adverb "erotically" TEN times, see "spoot"
used to refer to semen five times, four different penises which are such-and-
such "inches long, and correspondingly thick", and a number of similar
repetitions.
But that's probably beside the point for all but the most analytical of
critiquers. This is porn, people fucking, orifices penetrated and people
cursing and screaming as they come over and over again. A young woman
masturbating by fucking the smooth wooden knob on her bedpost. Bodily fluids
all over the place. Lots of sex. Very hot screwing, just enough plot to hold
it all together, and sufficiently well written that it's mostly a smooth and
easy read (although the one really bad typo, "her cock", really MUST be
fixed!). Prime masturbation material for het males at the very least. If the
"pentaprism" idea is carried out to the full five faces, and some of the more
mundane repetition removed in favor of more shifting reflections, this will be
a most memorable piece of erotica: a stroke-story that is also an elegant
little carving, neat as the smooth wood that Anuja hungrily anoints with her
hot inner juices.
Athena: 8 (nice language, some sparkling, some repetitious)
Venus: 10 (sizzling sex, just enough plot)
Mark: 10 (yum!)
"Patricia and Her Son" by R. Wood. Guest review by James.
This is an excellent story of incest between Andy and his shapely and rather
innocent 41-year-old mother, Patricia. Well timed but non intrusive
interruptions from Karl, Patricia's work-occupied husband, also feature.
The story has a laid back, devious, sense of humor. It also features multi-
perspective interaction among the three characters and enjoyable descriptions
of female clothing and figure.
For me, this story has only minor failings. I felt Patricia's seduction to be
over too quickly, and it was not physically complete. I would have liked more
dominance and control. Even though the story takes about 40 minutes to read,
it was over too quickly.
Ratings for "Patricia and Her Son"
Technical Merit: 9
Plot & Character: 9
Appeal to Reviewer: 9
"A Brother's Love by Stephen Peters (SxJames@aol.com). Guest review by
BillyG.
There's a certain grimness, a compelling and frightening reality to the forces
that are unleashed in an alcoholic household. All too often they're the
elephant in the living room about which everyone steps in unthinking denial.
It's an oft-repeated story. Dad loses his job as an engineer in an aerospace
company when NASA downsizes and is unable to find another. The treatment for
failure and depression? Booze. Dad becomes a drunk.
After six months of Dad's dysfunction, mom has left, and Dad turns to his
16-year-old daughter Jamie for comfort. An apparent drunken rape-in-progress
is interrupted by her "big brother" David who then stays that night and
several more, comforting sister in her understandable dread.
The title of this story may give you a clue as to the subsequent plot line.
Eventually David wakes up with a hard-on and what else can he do? He jerks
off. Jamie sees him and becomes interested. They talk about masturbation and
quickly move into see-one, do-one. David goes down on Jamie and she loves it!
Thereafter, she's the aggressive one. She wants what she wants and lets David
know it. He capitulates. (What else?)
The story's a bit scattered and disjointed and the ending has the flavor of a
story a chapter short. Indeed, there's a hint that it may be continued. It
almost makes it as an erotic story but there's a certain cookbook formula to
it that, coupled with a jagged plot line, leaves me a little disappointed.
Still, the father's drunkenness aside, it's a sweet little vignette that's
several notches above a non-consensual, brother-abuses-sister incest story.
Ratings for "A Brother's Love"
Athena (technical quality): 8.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Inamorata" - by Art Montage (from Gem*Boy <gemboy@hotmail.com>). Guest
review by Kim.
This is a relatively short story of intergenerational sex. Our lead, Mr.
Salzburg, is a fifty something year old who comes home one day to find his
son's eighteen year old ex-girlfriend waiting for him in the driveway of his
house. Uh-huh, hands up anyone who can tell me where this is gonna lead? Yep,
and you'd be right too.
It seems that the son, Dale, has gone of to the city and has left the homely
Mora behind, their four year old romance having come to an end.
Distraught at the split, Mora comes to quiz the father about why Dale might
have dumped her. She can't understand because hell, hadn't they screwed often
enough, etc. And as if to prove the point that she knows her way around a male
body, she proceeds to seduce Mr. Salzburg senior.
Putting up a spirited defense initially, the divorced Mr. Salzburg overcomes
his reticence and is soon filling Mora's mouth and pussy with cum. And then it
stops...
So, as a story it fails on the grounds that no explanation is offered for
Mora's behavior, or what if anything was the result of this unexpected union.
We'll never know if Mora and dad Salzburg lived happily ever after, or if Dale
returned and picked up with Mora again, or what.
As a description of a pleasant way to spend an hour between two adults, albeit
they're thirty five year apart, this story pleasing enough, I suppose. But
with zero originality, zero explanation of character motive, or even any sort
of conclusion, I can't say it did a lot for me.
The writing is pretty good, but a few typos were still evident, as was some
loose English that a proof reader might have been able to eliminate. Still,
none of it was bad enough to detract from the flow of the piece, which was
generally good.
Now if Art had managed to explain quite why Mora would throw herself at Mr.
Salzburg and what happened afterward, then I would have liked it a whole lot
more. Playing word games with the title (a female lover) isn't really enough.
Ratings for "Inamorata"
Athena (technical quality): 8 (slightly sloppy, better proofing
would have helped)
Venus (plot & character): 7 (Characters were well drawn but
motiveless)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Sex was ok, but not very exciting
or meaningful)
* "Bird Watchers" by Anonymous. I originally reviewed this story back in
CR 53 as by Unknown Author. The present version also has no author's name.
However, somewhere in between I have come to the conclusion that it was
written by Anonymous. However, as far as I know, Anonymous may be
Italian or Portuguese for Unknown Author.
This story is about a man and a woman who accidentally view each other in
moments of private sexual arousal (i.e., masturbation). Even though the man
uses his binoculars to zoom in for detail, he doesn't consider this to be an
invasion of her privacy. {He differentiates between being a Peeping Tom and
voyeurism of opportunity.} In fact, as a friendly gesture he sends her a
gift: a pair of binoculars with a note reading "from one bird lover to
another." The voyeurism is itself very sexy, and the direct sexual contact is
even hotter. I strongly recommend this story.
A problem with this posting is that if I have no idea who the author is, I
can't read more stories by this writer. I find that a lot of people who
repost stories from their archives remove the names of the authors; and it's
hard to tell who really wrote them. This one bears a closer resemblance to
the Sue-Backrub-Ng school of authors than to the Deirdre-Anderson or Victorian
schools. I'm pretty sure it was not written by either the Dirty Dawg,
Shakespeare, or Francis Bacon. It's really hot sex with good character
development and twists of plot. The author is especially adept at viewing the
action from the perspectives of different characters and using flashbacks to
add excitement to current situations. I know the year is just beginning, but
this is a good candidate for story of the year. So if someone knows who the
real author is, please let me know.
Ratings for "Bird Watchers"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Gwen and Wendy - Amateur Astronomers" by Jonathan Dzoba. The heroines are
high school seniors who go to a cabin on a lake to study the stars together
for a week. On the first night out one of them lowers her scope to the cabin
across the lake, where a young woman is fucking the brains out of her young
lover. This erotic scene stimulates Gwen and Wendy to mutually explore each
other's bodies. The next day the man and woman come over for a visit. Wendy
goes for a walk and serious talk with Alisa, while Gwen stays behind and
eventually has sex with Jack. Later, Jack fucks Wendy too. The sex is hot,
realistic, and sensitive.
What I liked most about the story is that the girls didn't go to the cabin
just to have sex; it simply happened as a normal part of their friendship and
adolescence. It would be ideal to get laid by a guy for some reason other
than to stop being a virgin; but life doesn't always work that way, and this
story does a good job of representing reality in a relatively pleasant manner.
How does a person with a name like Jonathan Dzoba know so much about the
emerging sexual feelings of young girls? After I wrote that sentence, it
occurred to me that I had written the same sentence six months ago - in a
review of "Susan and Becky" by this same author
Ratings for "Gwen and Wendy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "JayCee" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@AOL.COM). When she was very young,
JayCee had wished she were a boy, because boys had all the fun; but as she
grew into adolescence she discovered that girls had it made, because they
could get boys to worship them and do almost anything to please them. This is
a restatement of the basic femdom philosophy that pervades most of this
author's stories, including this one.
This story has several fascinating subplots, but the main plot involves the
next-door neighbor Jane, who is turning her son Marion into a girl, who will
eventually become Marianne. This is the sort of thing that inspires JayCee,
and she becomes an eager co-conspirator. JayCee gets paid for her assistance,
and Marianne even likes it. As I read this story, I felt that it was a good
one; but what was missing was the element of surprise that Vickie Tern always
includes in her stories. This one was simply about a boy who wanted to become
a girl and who did, in the end, become a stunningly beautiful and sexy girl.
Surprise! That's not the way it turns out after all.
This week's issue of Time Magazine includes a transgender article entitled
"The Boy Without a Penis." It describes a boy whose penis became mangled at a
very young age, and so his parents had him surgically altered and made a
serious attempt to raise him as a girl. It turns out that this strategy was
disastrously ineffective: the guy eventually had another operation and is now
a happily married man raising a family of adopted children. One conclusion
would be to say that this factual article suggests that stories like the
present one are merely exercises in fantasy - that it is highly improbable
that gender can be altered as easily as many TG stories suggest. Of course,
the other conclusion would be that the people who attempted the real-life
transformation should have read some of these TG stories first, so that they
could have done it right!
Ratings for "JayCee"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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