Message-ID: <7404eli$9801181708@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7404.txt> From: Lady Cyrrh <LadyCyrrh@aol.com> Subject: The Annex Reviews 1/17/98 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <d43ccf03.34c03f79@aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Sexual folktales about Disneyland: Yes, women really do bare their breasts on Splash Mountain. If your splashdown picture is ruined by someone's flopping mammaries, the attendants send you to the head of the line to ride again without the photogenic booby trap. Hmmm. All it takes is a date with a willing female, and you could ride all day. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride has also been the location for sexual hijinks, chiefly because it's so dark and secluded. Video cameras monitor the ride at all stages, and according to the story I heard, one woman decided to give her boyfriend some head in the boat one day when the ride wasn't crowded. The ride operators watched the whole thing, then watched again as the couple went back for another ride, and the woman was the recipient of the oral treat.... Anyway, here's the stories for the week, and following is a report of the 1997 Cyrrheal Awards for those on ASSG and ASSGM who missed them. The stories: Bulls, by Lord Malinov (M/F, male bullshitting) A Treat for Marshall, Proculus (M/f schoolgirl) The Celestial Refuse, Mat Twassel (ASS humor) Sacrificial Lamb, Parts 1 and 2, Tiffany (M/f nc rape, pregnancy) The Aupair Guy, Trevor Moore (M/M rom) Bulls [A] When posted: 1/11/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Lord Malinov Address: malinov@mindless.com Two young guys get together for a male bullshitting session in this story, which is of the "I'm a camera on the wall" style of storytelling where the author tells us everything exactly as it happens as if, well, they were a camera on the wall. For a sex story, it works very well, as the author's moral attitudes don't interfere. The two guys, who are reminiscent of the characters in the recent Las Vegas movie "Swingers," smoke cigars and talk about sexual encounters with the women each of them knows. (It's the in thing now for young men to smoke those stinky rolls of dry leaves, especially in public places. It goes along with lava lounge music.) Naturally, they make the women out to be total sluts who can't get enough sex. But are they telling the truth? Like Jordan Shelbourne's "Tease" this story displays that particular male behavior for our amusement without asking us to draw conclusions. Though I'd avoid these two guys like the plague in real life, I couldn't help being amused and a little turned on by reading about them. The author seems to have tightened his prose compared to the last story of his that I read, and it's a notable improvement. I'm also glad because it's short. There aren't enough good short stories on ASS. Authors, take note. A Treat for Marshall [A-/B+] When posted: 1/11/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Proculus Address: proculus@hotmail.com An older man enjoys a sensual encounter with an innocently vixenish schoolgirl in a navy blue skirt and knee socks. (No spanking.) This was a hot, sweet story marred only by lack of attention to plot. The encounter felt disjointed because of it, as if a two-inch slice of canvas had been cut out of a painting by Titian and framed by itself. Who is Marshall, and how did he get together with this girl? I'd like to see more story, as this author writes well. Window dressing can be just as arousing as written sex. The Celestial Refuse [A] When posted: 1/5/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM, ASSD Author: Mat Twassel Address: Mmtwassel@aol.com Mat Twassel, whose name sounds like a Teutonic description of a woman's unkempt genitals, offers to us this parody of a certain alt.sex.stories review, complete with Uranus, Moon, and Gumbo rating categories, and spoofs of certain writers. Funny but biting, without the shrillness that marks M1ke Hunt's parodies. As with the Ghost story I reviewed last week, you won't really get this unless you're familiar with ASS. But if you are, you will chuckle. Sacrificial Lamb [B-] When posted: 1/12/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Phil Phantom/Tiffany Poster: Cuntmissy Poster Address: slutmissy@hotmail.com A mother and her 16-year-old daughter are left homeless when the family business goes kaput and Dad takes an overseas job. The pair have little recourse but to move in with Aunt Gloria and Uncle Hank, a pair of perverted rednecks in Arkansas. Mom knows full well they plan to repeatedly rape, humiliate, and impregnate her beautiful, virginal, cheerleader daughter Ginger, but hey, what's a mom to do, get a job and support herself? Especially as she's secretly turned on by the idea, having been brutally abused at her sister's hands as a girl: "The legacy of my experience growing up with Gloria was a rich harvest of sexual experiences that have fueled an even richer fantasy sex life." Talk about consensual and nonconsensual; this is psychotic. However, like the author(s) say, it is a fantasy, boys and girls; though whether you can suspend disbelief enough to become aroused by it up to you, as it's the sort of story that doesn't have even the tiniest iota of relation to real life, real experiences, or real people; it's simply Phil Phantom or Tiffany pulling strings to get you horny. So, if you become aroused by moms and teenagers being abused by Texas Chainsaw Massacre families, complete with black brother-in-laws (with monster cocks) who say things like "How bout I jus wet the head in dis one and fuck dat one?" you'll like this. Otherwise you won't. I didn't. The Aupair Guy [B+] When posted: 1/6/97 Where posted: ASSG Author: Trevor Moore Address: tremo@iinet.com.au Say the name "Swedish au pair" and chance are you will visualize one of the hottest sex fantasies around: a nubile young nymph with long blonde hair, pale blue eyes, and a peaches-and-cream Scandinavian complexion. In this story, the fantasy undergoes a gender swap. A couple living outside of London arrange for a foreign exchange student to spend the summer with them, a young Danish man named Sven. The husband soon discovers he's gay, finds out Sven is too, and when his wife is away from home (wives in gay sex stories actually live in hotels, because they're NEVER home) the two have sex. This was a cute, bouncy story, not much of a plot besides the sex encounter and its lead-up, but pleasant nonetheless, and full of amusing Britishisms. It's always amusing when the writer reveals their fetishes, too--in this case, a penchant for nylon running shorts. In sum, a cheerful read, and not too demanding. The 1997 Cyrrheal Awards This being my last posting of the year, I'd think it's appropriate to hand out awards for those stories and authors that have made a particular impression on me, for good or for bad, since I began the review business last May. Not all of these are A+ stories, nor have all received written reviews by me. In no way is this intended to be a "Best of 1997" recap or a recommended reading list. I'm not that conceited. It's chiefly for my own amusement and, hopefully, yours as well. So, here are the winners: Best Gothic Mystery: Blizzard (Mathis B. Rodgers) Best Soundtrack: Gratuitous Sex, 1, 2 and 3 (Davis Trell) Best Slash: The Playboy series (Torch) Best Sex Slavery: The Whip Must Win (Marlissa) [not reviewed] Best Corporate Sex: Presentation (Solstice) Best Introduction to Erotica for the Neophyte: When Morning Comes (Joe Parsons) Most Whimsical: Juan Carlos, King of Spain (WW Mitty) Most Outstanding Nonfiction: ASS, a subculture (Ole Joe) Most Outstanding Humor: The Absolutely Astounding Adventures of Angelica Ahsmacker (Tom Bombadil) Tobe Hooper Award for Bodily Mayhem: (tie) Fiduciary (Mr. Spraycan) [not reviewed] Stacy and Me (Christine) [not reviewed] The Spam "Is" Us Award: (tie) I've Got Big Tits (Eli the Bearded) Sam's Bad Day (Bronwen SM) Will and Ariel Durant award for best attempt at historical fiction: The Sultan's Heir (Tigger) The Latex Playtex Playmate Award for fetishwear: (tie) Lori's London Vacation (Anonymous) The Perils of Supergirl (Richard Marnet) The Ye Olde Jeweled Codpiece award for best medieval sex: The Knight Errant series (Caintigern O'Nial) The Moms! Make Sure Your Teenagers Read This Award for responsible condom use: Prize Pig (Cobalt Jade) Should Have Been Lobotomized at Birth Award: The author of "Tammi" Marvel Award for best superhero sex: Batgirl vs. The Crime School for Girls (S. Sneakly) The I'm Ashamed To Admit I Gave This Award award (tie): The Boss (Dr. Phil) The New Mare (anonymous) [not reviewed] Safeword Award for outstanding BDSM: MarArch The Plan 9 From Outer Space Award for something so bad, it's good: Lady Sarah's Erotic Fantasy (Lady Sarah) Cyberian Khaatru Award for best cybersex: Java (Mandible) Team Sports Award: 1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament (Daphne Xu) The Boy, I Wish I Was a Character in This Story Award: The Palace (Akasha) The Jr. Salami Award for male teen masturbation: Walls Have Ears (Taria) Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/><http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/faq.html>