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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 249 - Jan 14
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Celestial Reviews 249 - January 14, 1998
Note: Two statues have been standing in a park for 100 years. They are a pair
of young lovers, reaching their hands towards one another, not quite touching.
They've been that way for 100 years, reaching out, but never quite touching.
An angel flies over and takes pity on them because they've been reaching out
for so long and never quite touching. The angel summons all his strength and
powers and brings them to life.
The angel tells them, "I have brought you to life, but I can only do this for
half an hour. My powers cannot give you any more. But for that half-hour you
may do whatever it is you've been wishing to do for the 100 years you've been
there, reaching out to one another but never quite touching."
The pair thank the angel and disappear into the bushes. There is much
grunting, groaning, and rustling of leaves. After 15 minutes the couple re-
emerge, looking very happy. "You've only used 15 minutes and I gave you half
an hour," said the angel. "Why don't you go back and do it again?"
"Oh, yes," said the young man to the young girl. "Why don't we? But this time
you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it."
Second note: For you classical scholars: Iago in _Othello_, Act 1 Scene 1 line
128f.: "I am one sir that come to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now
making the beast with two backs." Imagine that. I certainly don't remember
seeing that verse when I read the play back in my Catholic college days. I
suspect I was dealing with an expurgated virgin - er, version.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Bulls" by Lord Malinov (sexual exploit) 10, 10, 10
"Stolen by Illusion" by Morgan Preece (first time) 10, 10, 10
"A Treat for Marshall" by Proculus (schoolgirl fetish) 10, 7, 7
"Upstairs" by Generic Joe (quickie with atmosphere) 10, 7, 7
"The Biology Lesson" by Proculus" (sex education) 9, 5, 5
"Reset" by Sam Hammer (interracial sex) 7, 6, 6
"Jerry's Girl" by Phil Phantom (family gang-bang) 9.5, 8, 7
Guest Reviews:
"Reckless" (Parts I, II and III) by David L (hot sex for fun)
8, 9, 10
"Cheerleader With No Panties" by Johnny D. (spam parody) 4, 3, 3
"Conventional Warfare" by The Harkness (sex at convention)
7, 5, 7
"Jailed Girl" by Bill Majors (punishment of wife) 7.6, 2.0, 6.0
"Photo Orgy" by Unknown Author (blackmail) 10, 9, 5
"Our Thrilling Weekend" by The Lovers (very mild sex) 8, 1, 1
"Autumn Sonata" by David L (romance) 9, 10, 9
"Sorrows End" by Sandman (romance) 10, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (mile-high ff sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Brown Nosing" by Phil Phantom (fun-loving incest and
child molestation) 9.5, 9.5, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Bulls' by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com). This story is set in the
context of two guys having a desultory conversation in a bar, with one of them
bragging about his sexual exploits with a nymphomaniac he had fucked recently.
That element of realism makes the plot of the sexual escapades hard to follow,
but no harder than when we have a similar conversation of our own in a bar or
library - depending on our level of sophistication, I guess. This was a nice
quickie.
Ratings for "Bulls"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Stolen by Illusion" by Morgan Preece (morganpreece@anon.nymserver.com). I'm
on a bit of a spree of really simple stories. This is another good one. It's
not a whole story - just an anecdote about the time the narrator gave her
virginity to her boyfriend who was on his way to Vietnam. The sex is not all
that sexy, but it's very realistic and even touching. There's even a nice
twist at the end - of the story, that is.
Ratings for "Stolen by Illusion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Treat for Marshall" by Proculus (proculus@hotmail.com). The nubile, buxom
young girl casts herself in front of Marshall and places his hand gently on
her naked breast, giving him a feeling like when he has his hair cut by his
regular barber. Really. That's what it says. Anyway, Marshall seems to be a
confused, dysfunctional old man with a fetish for schoolgirls. What we get,
therefore, is a schoolgirl sex scene; but it's not at all clear how old
Marshall or the girl is or what the relationship is between them.
An interesting moment occurs when the girl's "rigid legs locked Marshall's
head in a vice-like grip." That word is usually spelled "vise" - although I
guess vice, in the sense of moral turpitude, could also make sense here.
Ratings for "A Treat for Marshall"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Upstairs" by Generic Joe (genericjoe@vnet.net). The guy and his girlfriend
are moving her into a new apartment. They hear unusual, rhythmic sounds
upstairs. They speculate about whether the noise is an exercise machine or a
man and woman making love or a prostitute or a nymphomaniac or whatever. This
gets them turned on, and they fuck nicely just thinking about it.
This is the basis of a good idea, but it needs more development to become a
really good story. I hope the author keeps on trying.
Ratings for "Upstairs"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"The Biology Lesson" by Proculus" (proculus@hotmail.com). When the old
biology teacher tells the class that the best way to learn is through
experience, one of the cheekier sixteen-year-old girls blurts out, "You could
show us, Sir!" The previous sentence contains some terminology that may not
be familiar to American readers. "Cheekier" doesn't mean that her cheeks are
particularly large: it's just the way Brits say that the girl is bold in a
sort of indelicate manner. There is no comparable word in the American
language, perhaps because American girls don't say things like that. In
addition, "sir" is a word that polite British children use when speaking to a
male teacher. Imagine that.
Well, next thing you know, the old guy is asking for a show of hands to find
out who has never seen a penis or an erection. You can well imagine what the
girls do with their hands once they show them. Anyway, since Theresa
"fancies} him, the old buzzard selects her to demonstrate the concept of
sexual intercourse, even though this has the unfortunate effect of minimizing
the ability of the other students to directly observe the phenomenon called
"ejaculation."
That's about all there is to it: an interesting concept, perhaps, but not
much development.
Ratings for "The Biology Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Reset" by Sam Hammer. Ann is a tiny Vietnamese woman with big tits who gives
great head, even though she dislikes the taste; but her ungrateful husband,
Quin, has a tendency to fall asleep before repaying her for the favor. Ann
also enjoys her job in her workplace, especially the time she spends
conversing with Roger, whose wife dumped him because his cock was too big for
her to handle. Right! I forgot to mention that Roger is a black guy and Quin
is a white guy, which tells you about all you need to know about the
monstrosity factor of their respective cocks. What's a girl to do?
Of course, what Ann does is fuck Roger every which way except nasally, while
he mistreats her and calls her a slut and such; and Ann enjoys it so much that
she invites her sister Kat to join in as well. There's even more, but you can
read the story to find out what else happens.
As you may recall, I have a sister who is married to a black man. As near as
I can figure, he's pretty much like a white guy in the sack. His cock is
apparently no more monstrous than my husband's, and she doesn't consider her
husband to be a stud. She DOES consider his skin color to be a factor in her
relationship with him - she thinks it looks nice, much as he likes the clarity
of her eye color. In short, although they do experience sociological problems
from neighbors and coworkers who think the races should never mix, their
romantic lives are pretty much like everyone else's. I haven't shown this
story to my sister or to my brother-in-law, but I am certain that they would
consider it to be an example of perpetuating a stupid stereotype.
Ratings for "Reset"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Jerry's Girl" by Phil Phantom. Jerry and Pam are on their way to the Junior
Prom. Pam is a "nice girl" from the right side of the tracks. Jerry is a
very decent fellow, but his family lives on the wrong side of those tracks.
Not only that - they also have some unusual habits. For example, when Jerry
and Pam stop by for pictures before the prom, Dad swings Pam onto his lap and
asks her if she's still a virgin. The rest of the family gathers around, and
the kids say things like, "Show us her pussy, Dad!"
After Dad tries her out and they take some pictures (the sort that appear on
Usenet with captions like, "Chearleeder Cunt Begs for Cum!" - in all capital
letters), the kids go to the prom. Afterwards Pam insists on returning to
Jerry's house, where the family gang-bangs her. Jerry does it kind of badly
at first, but after sufficient demonstrations, he finally gets it right. Dad
gets all the action on tape. Of course, Dad sells porn videos, and Pam's
father - the judge - is his biggest customer.
Aside from some minor typos, this author writes pretty well. However, the
story requires a considerable suspension of disbelief. The notion of a nice
kid bringing a nice girl home to his horny and disreputable father could be
the basis for a great plot; but the author stretches things with the
simplistic assumption that the girl would simply catch on and enjoy the good
clean fun.
Ratings for "Jerry's Girl"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Reckless" (Parts I, II and III) by David L (dhl@sysun.com). Review by Mark
Aster
I don't generally like long sex stories. It's hard to keep the sex integrated
into the rest of the story for that long, and all too often the sex feels
artificial, or the rest of the story gets tedious, or the sex itself gets
repetitive and obvious. The two best ways to avoid these problems are to make
the sex an important part of the story, but keep the sex scenes rare and high-
impact (as in Rivers' recent "Journey to the East"), or to string together a
variety of sex scenes in a generally-enjoyable story. David L seems to be
quite capable of the latter, if the first three parts of his novel-in-progress
are any indication. It reminds me somewhat of the "Trinity Trilogy" (or even
that "Allens" thing) with a somewhat sluttier atmosphere.
Three main characters (so far!): a slutty 18-year-old, and two adults from her
school. MF, FF, some voyeurism, some spanking, a little bd. Lots of dirty
talk and the usual sort of taunting. But what makes reading this enjoyable,
at least for me, is that the characters seem to be ENJOYING it. All too often
dirty talk in sex stories seems to reflect a lack of respect, and even a
positive contempt, between the characters; that's an instant turn-off for me.
In this story, the characters are doing it because it's fun, and it feels
sexy, not because it satisfies some deep dark pathological need to hurt or to
be hurt. I can see these characters (in fact I'd like very much to see them!)
lying around after a hot sex session, talking and laughing about the wild
things they thought of to call each other this time.
A few typos ("once again came again"), a few misplaced apostrophes
("Theirs'"), a little trouble thinking of new descriptions for the characters
("the lewd school employee" probably would have read better as just "Pam").
And one oddity that I've done myself: the slutty teen is named "Kristy
Whitman". Now it's possible that it will turn out later in the novel that she
grows up to be the governor of New Jersey, but if not, the coincidence of
names is just a distraction! (The first draft of my "Black Oak" had a kid in
it named "Randy Quaid", which is apparently the name of some actor or
something; a friend who read an early draft (Hi, Mat!) pointed that out to
me.) These celebrity names have a way of getting lodged in our heads, and
jumping out when we're trying to think of a random character name...
But anyway, a nice start to what could be a very nice novel. Nothing amazing
in the literary sense, but that's not what this author's after! <grin> Lots
of nice hot sex, and highly recommended for those who like to see people who
basically like each other doing things that make everyone involved feel
really, really good.
Some numbers, keeping in mind that I'm a pretty hard grader:
Ratings for "Reckless"
Athena: 8 (above average, some typos and cliches)
Venus: 9 (hot sex)
Mark: 10 (I really liked it)
"Cheerleader With No Panties" by Johnny D. - reviewed by James
In reviewing this story I carried out a little research - I visited Johnny's
web site: http://www.cryogen.com/JohnnyD/. If I hadn't done this then I would
never have found out that Johnny is capable of writing a good story...
"Cheerleader With No Panties" is, to me, like its spam inspiration: almost
instantly forgettable. The story, which takes no more than ten minutes to
read, is centered around a bank robbery that's foiled by our flying superhero
"Cheerleader With No Panties". Yet, is that really all there is to this story?
In fact, this story has left me with a nagging question. Why does someone who
can write a story like "I Am The Rapist", write something like "Cheerleader
With No Panties"?
Ratings for "Cheerleader With No Panties":
Technical Merit: 4
Plot & Character: 3
Appeal to Reviewer: 3
"Conventional Warfare" by The Harkness (tharkness@hotmail.com). Guest review
by Wherryman.
This is an anecdote rather than a story, told by a delegate at a convention.
An attractive woman buys him a drink and after some conversation she escorts
him back to his room for a round of great sex. Names are apparently not
exchanged, although the woman does leave her business card before leaving.
Since this is an anecdote, you don't expect deep characterization (unless it's
*very* good, by Mark Aster perhaps) and you don't get much time for plot; so
there has to be something else to lift it out of the pack. Unfortunately this
doesn't have it; the sex is straight vanilla and making it an extruded
plastics convention isn't enough.
Technically there was little problem. It went through the spell-checker
without problem - after I remembered to change to the US dictionary.
Nevertheless getting a third party to read it first might have smoothed out
those areas where odd style overlaps with poor grammar.
Rating for "Conventional Warfare"
Technical merit 7
Plot & character 5
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Jailed Girl" by Bill Majors. Guest review by Jubjub.
Plot: Husband and wife are divorcing. Husband sets up wife with fake arrest
and humiliates her with strip search and spanking by "police".
This story had serious problems from top to bottom. I have a checklist that I
use to rate various aspects of the stories that I review. Every point had
major deficits.
First off, the punctuation, spelling, and grammar all had small errors of
omission. End quotes were dropped, commas misplaced, letters dropped out of
words ("is" instead of "his") and words dropped out of phrases. But, except
for one homophone error ("throws" instead of "throes"), none made the story
unreadable. Still, a good proofing would have helped. The writer used
sentence fragments as a vehicle for descriptions. This can be a legitimate
style, but he didn't use them very effectively. My overall rating indicates a
readable story, but not near perfect .
The lack of characterization really hurt. The two questions facing any writer
are: Are the characters deep enough to care about (one way or another)? Do
the characters present a cohesive whole? The author needed to show that the
wife "deserved" this punishment because of her bitchiness and general
unpleasantness. Opportunities did present themselves to make her out to be
some kind of "Zsa Zsa Gabor" type of woman who slaps policeman around. But
the wife did little but scream "No, don't do that" and other stuff like that.
She was also incredibly naive not to realize halfway through that maybe those
really weren't policemen. Especially since she was supposedly the wife of a
defense attorney.
The husband is barely mentioned and given little motivation. You have to
assume that he wanted revenge against his wife, because the author never gives
a clue why this is even happening. He actually gives more character depth to
the police (which really isn't saying much) but that only acts as a
distraction. The writer badly needed to use the inner thoughts of his main
characters to drive this story.
There is no real conflict, no tension and no resolution. The story ends and
the writing stops. The description of the events are good enough that I found
myself responding. In fact, that response is the sole reason the appeal
rating is as high as it is. A good set of descriptions in an erotic story can
go a long way for me. If only the writer had wrapped good characters around
the story arc, I might have given this story very high ratings.
There is a whisper of possibilities in this story. If the author continues to
write, I would strongly suggest he at least start by giving us more than just
the physical events. A story can be made considerably more erotic if we
follow the thinking of the characters.
Ratings for "Jailed Girl"
Technical: 7.6 Quite readable but has small errors of omission
Characters: 2.0 No depth whatsoever
Appeal: 6.0 Descriptions were very good but lack of story arc
hurt a lot.
"Photo Orgy" by Unknown Author. Guest review by Anne747.
Okay, before the review - rant time about reposting. This story was
originally posted 10/16/97 by TheEditor <grobert@IDT.NET>. The person posting
it flagged it as NEW and stated they didn't write it. The original post was
divided up into twelve chapters. On 01/09/98 it was reposted by
"ass.reposter" without the chapter divisions or any comment about the original
poster. If TheEditor posted it as new, it's likely he/she has some knowledge
of the source. Removing that information is a poor choice - removing the
chapter divisions makes the story harder to read.
The story is 50,000+ words long. The chapter divisions are crucial in
breaking it up to make it more readable. The reposter has done a grave
disservice to the author in screwing with the original post. One of my first
comments in the review was going to be 'too long - should be broken up into
chapters'. But before I get into the review - even the original poster does
the author a disservice - no offer to pass along comments or copyright notice.
Of course, I'm assuming that TheEditor had permission to post it - that they
didn't just steal it from somewhere.
{Note from Celeste: The Editor has posted several of these stories, and I have
reviewed several. They are as long as published porn novels and the
proofreading is good. It seems unusual that someone would put so much work
into this sort of thing and then let someone post it without soliciting
feedback. If anyone recognizes these stories as coming from some published
source, I'd like to know about it.}
Okay, the review. It's likely going to be wordy, since technically at 50,000+
words, it's closer to a book review. First, the story was posted without
codes. It should carry a few really. It probably should have marked teen and
maybe even nc and incest. I'll get back to that in a minute; but the story is
predominantly MF, and adding more 'codes' might ruin the story. This is a
well drawn out story that someone has spent a lot of time on. The main
character 'Pete' is not the most likable guy, right from page one, but as you
read on further it becomes obvious you aren't supposed to like him.
Pete is stuck in a life he doesn't see an escape from. He's 23, working as a
plumber, and figures he won't go much further in life. He spends his days
unblocking toilets and fucking all the local bored housewives. During one of
his 'sessions' one of the women tells him she doesn't want him to screw her,
but to deflower her 16 year old daughter. Pete of course jumps at the idea;
and even when the young girl is crying and screaming in pain, Mommy is urging
Pete on. Oh yes, mother is helping and snapping a few pictures for the family
album (yeah right).
This gives Pete a great idea. He's going to enlist the help of an accomplice
and take pictures of all of his regular lays. Then he'll blackmail them all
for a while and save as much money as he can, so he can leave town and escape
his fate. I have a problem with the motivation at this point. I mean, the
hourly rate of a plumber is what - $75? And he's going to blackmail these
women for $10 a week? He'd be better off doing a single job on the side. The
story has been fairly well developed, but the motivation is off. I might even
buy it if the women were richer, or nastier, and Pete had some anger at not
having what the rest of the world had. There is also an attempt to make Pete a
more sympathetic slug about halfway, but it doesn't work. He feels guilty
when blackmailing his first woman, even saying he would be paying her back
once his business is going strong. Again, I would think most people who are
driven to blackmail someone feel some sense of justice in sticking it to the
other person.
To tell you more would be to spoil the ending, so I won't. Overall it's a
well-written piece - this isn't something that was dashed off, someone worked
hard on it. I think that's why it bothers me that it's posted with no author
credit. Did I like it? Hmm, not really; but that's me. I tend not to pick
novel length erotica - even with published stuff, I prefer anthologies. Also,
my distaste for the main character overshadows the sex scenes. Even before
the blackmail comes up, Pete is pretty repulsive. The women are just broads,
and in his own words: "Of course, to really make it with these suburban broads
you gotta have looks and a way with words. And I got both up the ass. In the
last year alone, I been in and out of more holes than the Roto Rooter man."
So, even though I didn't like it, is it worth a read? Might be. It's a
pretty good morality tale, even with the poor motivation. Hey, and there is
plenty of sex in it. Now, a comment on the personal appeal mark. For me
under 5 - I hated it, over 5 - I liked it. 5 means I just didn't move me
enough in either direction.
Oh - and do yourself a favour. If you are going to read it, get the original
posting from Eli's archive. That way you can read it a chapter at a time, as
the author likely intended.
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4942.txt
Ratings for "Photo Orgy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9 (I just don't buy the reasons for Pete's
actions)
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Our Thrilling Weekend" by The Lovers (lovers@unforgettable.com). Guest review
by David Rills.
This piece is billed as a "true story". That might explain why it is about as
interesting as a shopping list. The narrator starts out with a discussion of
how he reformatted his computer and then goes into how he screwed his wife one
weekend. His story contains nothing "thrilling" nor does it indicate any
excitement. However, I don't see any major problem with his grammar or
spelling. My suggestion:
SKIP THIS ONE !
Ratings for "Our Thrilling Weekend"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 1
David (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Autumn Sonata" by David L (dhl@sysun.com). Guest review by Dart.
This is a nice, but longish, story that examines in some detail the
transformation of a friendship, during the course of a single evening, into an
erotic relationship.
The heart of the story is a walk which two recent friends, David and Autumn,
each recovering from emotional damage, take together on a cold, snowy evening.
There is a third character in the story, Janet, a friend of David's and of
Autumn's; but her role is relegated to the story's setup, and to watching over
Autumn's two children the evening of David and Autumn's walk.
Their walk begins at Janet's home. Autumn has planned on spending the evening
alone, but it's a ten block walk to her house and David thinks she's ill-
prepared for the cold and the snow. Since his apartment is on her way and only
four blocks away, he insists that they walk there so he can outfit her with an
extra layer of clothing. After he finds extra clothing for her, and insists
that she put them on before continuing her walk, he helps her into a second
pair of socks and a pair of his older boots. She enjoys the touch of his hand
on her leg, but suppresses the emotion. Since her disillusioning divorce, she
has been denying or controlling many of her feelings.
When she's ready to leave, David suggests that he walk her home, since he was
planning to go for a walk anyway. Autumn reluctantly accepts his offer. After
they start off, David offers a modest alteration in their path. He'd like to
take her by the house where he was raised. She accepts the alteration, but is
saddened by the sight that greets them: A dark, empty house with a "For Sale"
sign in the front yard. David's mother died six months ago, and his siblings
want their share. David claims the house is too large for him anyway, but
Autumn is saddened, and is reminded of tears in her own past life.
When they continue their walk, Autumn offers her own modest alteration, and
David accepts. They walk to the highest point of the town's park, and when
there, Autumn informs him that this is the spot where she had buried her
wedding ring. David needs to be told why she has told him this, and she tells
him; and with the telling a crack appears in her carefully controlled
emotions, her reserve falters, and she grows almost loquacious.
When they finally reach Autumn's apartment, her mood has altered significantly
from when they left Janet's home, and consequently, she invites David up for
something hot to drink. He accepts, and builds a fire while she prepares the
hot drinks. And then all those layers of clothing need to come off, and they
do, in a long, caring and passionate sexual encounter.
There's a wealth of detail in this forty-page story that the author uses
adroitly to develop several interesting characters and weave their lives
together in a realistic plot. It was a nice story to read. And it's clear that
a story this long and this well written took a considerable amount of effort.
The author, David L, kindly acknowledges the proofreading assistance of his
wife and additional unspecified help from Kristen. I would suggest that he
also enlist the assistance of one of Celeste's proofreaders. Not because the
story is badly written - it is not as I hope I've made clear above; but
because readers close to the author - I speak from personal experience -
sometimes are, along with the author, too excited with the story to catch
every little flaw.
Ratings for "Autumn Sonata"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Sorrows End" by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com)
Guest review by Anne747 (Anon747@aol.com)
I'm almost tempted to use the author's own introduction to tell you what the
story is about. In fact, his own summary is, 'A plane crash forces a hermit
to share his cabin for a long arctic winter with two women.' Now that might
give a misleading idea of what the story is about; however, the author goes a
little further and says:
"Considering that I had the chance to explore incest, pregnant sex, and an
interesting threesome, the story and characters evolved in a very tame manner.
I think I am probably as surprised as anyone that what sprang forth was a
rather quaint love story with nothing even remotely approaching taboo. This
is a story yes, there's sex in it yes, but sex isn't the end all and be all of
this tale."
And he's right. What we have here is a sweet romantic tale that deals far
more with two people falling in love than anything else. The only change I
might suggest is a section at the beginning of the lovemaking scene. We
almost slip back into the 'sex story' mode when she notes his 'well sized
organ' and his hands roam across her 'her ample breasts'. Up until this point
it has been an emotional piece. These two lines are very close and tend to
pull you back to a 'physical' impression. The characters have a very real
feel to them, this almost brings them back to the usual celluloid feel of sex
story characters.
Now, I'm not a romantic at heart. I normally wouldn't pick them to read.
Also, I might have preferred a slightly different ending, but this is just a
personal thing. Overall, this is a well-written, poignant story, and I did
enjoy it. I was going to knock a point off on the personal appeal simply
because romance pieces aren't my thing, but looking back at some of the other
reviews I've done I decided that wasn't fair. Interesting note: after 29
reviews - this is the first straight 10s review I've given.
Ratings for "Sorrows End"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (claytonj@SkyBest.Com). Maybe I should just say
this is a good story and let it go at that. This one is a bit hard to
explain. As the unofficial librarian of the Mile High Club, I collect stories
about sex on airplanes. According to my records, I have previously reviewed
nine stories that fit this description. The five best ones have been
"Adventures on Flight 109" by Ann Douglas, "La Salope" by Joe Parsons,
"American Airlines Cockpit" by Mary Anne Mohanraj, "Wonderful Journey" by Kid
Dynamite, and "Airscrew" by Pete Fox.
Lucy Stevens, a straight woman and a virgin a week or so ago, is on the way
home by plane to visit her family after her marriage. A kid ogles her, and
she flashes him. Then the woman next to her double dares Lucy to go further,
and before we know it we have a veritable coven of card-carrying lesbians
having mind blowing orgasms with Lucy and ruffling the kid's hair. The kid's
mother wakes up and gets upset, but he's probably seen worse in the Swimsuit
Issue of Sports Illustrated or on the Web. As part of the good natured fun,
the lezzies destroy all Lucy's clothes except her dress. And so when she
meets the family, she has more 'splaining to do than she had anticipated. I
told you: this is a hard one to explain.
Ratings for "Flying High"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Brown Nosing" by Phil Phantom. Some people will dislike this story because
it was originally zipped but now it's decoded. Others will object because it
is about incest. I think it's just plain funny. Anyway, the man has just
gotten a job, but he leaves his wife and family behind in the room with the
boss during the final interview. The boss fondles the man's daughter; and the
man's son becomes turned on and begins fondling the mother. The third child
becomes so excited that "she didn't know who to watch." That should be
"whom," of course. Some of these authors get so excited that they screw the
hell out of their pronouns as soon as their hormones get going.
A lot of readers enjoy blackmail and pedophile stories; and this one combines
both. I usually don't like either element, but I enjoyed this one largely
because of the grotesque perspective. We see the first part of the story from
the viewpoint of the father, who re-enacts everything that happens while his
wife tells him about it. The storytelling style is most interesting; it
reminded me of the old Bert and Ernie sequence from Sesame Street ("Did
anything interesting happen today?" "Nope." "How did you tear your shirt
pocket?" "Oh, that happened when I was running too fast through the door at
the circus... after Johnny said we had better go home... after the tent
started to collapse... after the mime started yelling and screaming....
because the door to the lion cage had come open... after the tiger devoured
the trainer... right after his partner had been shot by the homicidal maniac
who was using me as a human shield... But don't worry; the S.W.A.T. team shot
him.... right after he threw the hand grenade down my pants.... ) Actually,
the Sesame Street version was a little different, but the idea is that the
wife casually describes to the husband increasingly outrageous activities; and
the guy just listens, tries the ideas out on his wife, makes her cum, and then
says he'll have to have a talk with the kids.
Of course, if this would happen to you and your family in real life, you
should go straight to a good lawyer. Make that an expensive lawyer - they're
easier to find. The lawyer will fill you in on the details regarding how you
can become immensely rich by suing the bastard for child molestation.
But there's more! After dropping Dad off at home, Mom goes back to get the
kids at the movies. She wants to have a talk with them - to make sure they
don't lose respect for her, of course. So while they're driving home, the
kids essentially gang-rape her with hand jobs in the moving car. They even
argue over who gets what. During a typical American car trip, when the
children argue and get out of hand, the parent often screams, "Shuddup, you
little motherfuckers!" I suppose that would have been ironic under these
circumstances.
But there's more! Eventually the boss starts making night calls to the
family's house and brings clients to go into the girl's room and plays sex and
bondage games with Sherry and Sandy after using Mom as a warm-up course while
Dad does paperwork for the company. This pushed me beyond the limits of what
I could endure. That should be girls' - it's s-apostrophe, not apostrophe-s,
for plural possessives!
This was an interesting but bizarre story. If any of you try this in real
life, you deserve to be arrested. Then you will burn in hell and will be
forced to live with an American politician for all eternity.
Ratings for "Brown Nosing"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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