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Celestial Reviews 248 - January 10, 1998
Note: I have received a couple of private emails in the past month or so in
which authors were pretty upset at me or my guest reviewers for writing what
they perceived to be negative reviews of their stories.
First, let me point out that I think I and anyone else have a right to review
any story we want to review. If you don't want someone to react publicly to
your stories, then don't post them publicly. I can't imagine why a person
would post a story in a public place unless he/she were aware that someone
might dislike it and might say so. I know that I myself dislike it when an
intelligent person says my use of the English language is "execrable," but I
certainly feel that the person has the right to say that about me once I have
"gone public" with my writing.
In general, once I read a story all the way through, I am going to write a
review of it. The only exceptions occur when I say to myself, "This just
isn't worth writing about." If it was a bad story, I think it is appropriate
to say so, rather than to decide that I won't review the story because it was
bad. I encourage my guest reviewers to take a similar stance.
Having said that, I should add that I do NOT go out of my way to find stories
that will give me an opportunity to put someone down. If a story looks
illiterate, I tend to skip it. However, if an author sends me a story that
appears badly written but asks me to review it, I'll go ahead and review it
and possibly post a negative review. I have been amazed at how many authors
send me a weak story, get a bad review, and then send me a near masterpiece
the next time.
I try to be constructive or at least polite in my criticisms. However, my
main goal is usually to entertain my readers and to help them find good
stories, and I'm told that I do a good job at this.
I view a lot of the authors as my personal friends, and I often feel guilty
when I give them a "low" rating. To take an example, I have given Kim
straight tens on her last three or four stories. I'm afraid it's going to be
traumatic for me to give her a non-10; but in all honesty I may have to do
that some day. She and I will just have to handle that, I guess.
I think I personally am better at polite and constructive criticism than are
some of my guest reviewers - but I don't want any of them to quit because of
this paragraph. Occasionally a guest reviewer seems tempted to want to post a
"perfect put-down." I try to discourage that. Sometimes I may fail, and I
suppose excessive negativity from my guest reviewers is my responsibility,
since I sign my name to each issue of Celestial Reviews. On the other hand, I
hasten to add that I think my reviewers do an excellent job almost all the
time - except that they seem to shout for glee whenever they find an aureole
where an areola should be. {Of course, that problem is more serious for
preachers who put areolae where aureoles should be.}
I want to conclude by pointing out that I get criticized far, far more often
for writing reviews that are "too nice" than for being too negative. Also,
please keep in mind that sometimes either I or a guest reviewer may be kidding
when we make a critical comment.
I apologize to those I have offended and hope I can do a better job of writing
these reviews in the spirit in which they were intended.
Second note: FOOD FOR THOUGHT: If a student in a sex education class becomes
pregnant, should the teacher flunk her or give her extra credit?
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"The Choice" by The SandMan (menage a quatre) 9, 9, 9
"Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (romance at sea) 10, 10, 10
"Two on One" by Mark Aster (threesome) 10, 10, 10
"Jealousy" by Friar Dave (bestiality) 10, 10, 10
"Helen and I" by (romance) 10, 8, 8
"Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (odd exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
"Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor)
Guest Reviews:
"Cyndi's Letter" by David L (exhibitionistic MFMF sex) 9, 7, 6.5
"John's Dilemmas" by Drifter (reformed nympho turns faithful
swinger) 8, 8, 9
"The Facilitator" by MD James (sci fi sex) 8.5, 8.5, 8
"Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (magic) 9, 8, 6
"Me & My Cop" by Teri S (sex witeh cop) 9, 10, 8
Reposted Reviews:
* "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (emerging adolescence)
10, 10, 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff seduction) 9.27A
* "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (emerging sexuality)
9.5, 10, 10
* "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (fantasy sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Kevin" by Friar Dave (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"The Choice" by The SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com). The night the guy is
going to pop the question to the woman of his dreams, she announces to him
over a romantic dinner that "it's only fair that I tell you that I'm bisexual
and in a relationship." Oh, well - ya win a few and you lose a few. Either
that or adapt. Actually, Sandra is already in a menage a trois, and Dan has
to learn to accept the whole package or take a menage a un in a cold shower.
The hard part for Dan (as well as for many male readers) is that when a menage
a trois becomes a menage a quatre, each person can team up for one-on-ones
with three other partners, and only two of these pairings are heterosexual.
{Of course, not all pairings are one-on-one.} This throws Dan for a loop; but
after he confers with his local bartender, he decides to grin and bare it.
And so Dan learns not only to accept but even to enjoy MM as well as MF sex.
And they all live happily ever after.
Aside from some minor punctuation problems, the main stylistic problem with
this story is the misuse of homonyms - the use of wrong words that sound like
the desired words, as "fair" for "fare" and "principals" for "principles."
Ratings for "The Choice"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk). Nobody
loves a loser. That's not quite true. When Sven the Younger comes in last in
a boat race, Kate licks his wounds, if you know what I mean. Sven takes a
lickin' and keeps on tickin'. I'd have trouble doing this. When I'm in a
boat, I hardly know leeward from windward, fore from aft, stem from stern, or
my ass from a hole in the boat.
I'm sure there are nautical terms for this naughty behavior. As I see it,
this appears to be a nautical "tortoise and hare" story. The moral is, if you
fuck around too much, you'll lose the race. Year after year after year, until
someone gets suspicious.
This was a very nice story!
Ratings for "Coming in Last"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Jealousy" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). It's difficult for me to
imagine a bestiality story that I might enjoy. It's also difficult for me to
imagine a Friar Dave story that I might not enjoy. So I approached this story
with what my old psych prof called an approach-avoidance conflict, I think.
Friar Dave won.
Friar Dave describes Inez as a beautiful, powerful argument for the colorblind
miscegenation of her native Venezuela, with her ochre-highlighted hair, her
glowing, swarthy complexion and her lush lips and big brown eyes. Inez
develops a warm relationship with the narrator, but one without sex. He finds
out why when he stumbles across a tape of Inez doing it with animals. It's
really hot stuff, especially when they watch the old tapes together.
This story is extremely well written. I especially like the way this author
builds up the sexual tension with Inez by talking about his previous sexual
relationships.
Ratings for "Jealousy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Helen and I" by the Panda (the_panda@hotmail.com). The narrator was deeply
in love with his wife, but she was in an accident that has left her comatose.
After several months of misery, her mother advises him that what he really
needs to do is get laid. Enter Helen. At this point, I say to myself, if the
narrator develops a deep and lasting relationship with Helen and then Maggie
comes out of her coma, we'll have the basis of an American soap opera here.
Actually, too many soaps have already used that plot. To be original the
mother-in-law would have to step in and say, "Hey! I meant get laid by ME!"
Back to Helen. Our narrator comes in his pants when he meets her in the
parking lot. Literally. Which is fortunate, because that release enables Jim
to last for more than 30 seconds when Helen greets him dressed in a sexy black
negligee later that evening. That is, Helen is dressed in the negligee -
English teachers have to be careful about how we say things like that.
Anyway, they fuck like rabbits all night long and then go out to breakfast to
learn something about each other.
And so it goes. This started out as a very hot, darned good story. But then
the author started going in too many directions - kinky stuff for the sake of
kinky stuff. In the preceding story, Friar Dave both shocked and titilated
me; this author seems to be trying too hard to accomplish a similar effect.
The trick is to make it seem natural; and one important aspect of that is
knowing when to stop bringing in new stuff.
The story is not yet finished. I loved the first five chapters and then
tolerated the next six. Which is where it ends right now.
Ratings for "Helen and I"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Two on One" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
"Jake and Tanya have been fucking, and Jake has fallen asleep, while Tanya has
continued to play with herself, when Our Hero rings the bell and enters the
apartment. He promptly takes off his clothes and begins foreplay of his own
with Tanya. "Mrmmph," says Jake, who wakes up and joins the fun. Hence the
title.
An interesting element of this story is that Our Hero is instructed to fondle
Jake's cock while Tanya fondles his to orgasm. This sounds pretty sexy to me,
but I'm sure some males will be turned off simply by my mention of this
activity. My advice is, try it (the story, that is), you might like it.
It gets kinda old to have me try to summarize in succinct but prosaic words
what the author describes much more poetically. So I suggest you take a look
at it yourself.
Ratings for "Two on One"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). This is one of those
really good stories that I can't tell you anything about. The best I can do
is give you a related anecdote. Back when my husband and I had been married
for two years and I was heavily pregnant with our first daughter, we went to a
wedding. I introduced him to two sweet, religious, elderly ladies who know me
from long ago. One of them politely commented that it had been a lovely
wedding. My husband replied, "Yes. I hope ours goes as well next month."
The expression on the ladies' faces as they glanced at each other and tried to
avoid my gravida stomach was priceless.
This story is sort of like that, but with strangers on elevators. And with an
unusual twist at the end.
This would have been an excellent entry for my 500-word story contest, except
that it has 802 words.
The main problem with this story is the title. At the top of the title page,
the title is "Friday." In the Postings, however, the title is "Mind Games."
Since you'll never find it if you look under "Friday," I have chosen to label
it "Mind Games" for this review.
Don't do this with strangers - the part about sheep, that is. The elevator
part is perfectly OK with strangers. It can enliven elevator rides. As well
as what comes later.
Ratings for "Mind Games"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor). This is an excellent satire of
Celestial Reviews. It requires no further introduction or comment.
"Cyndi's Letter" by David L (dhl@elena.sysun.com). Guest review by Morgan
Preece.
Read the disclaimer for this one. David says he wrote this about ten years ago
as a sort of "Penthouse Forum" type piece. He also apologizes for what is
obvious; the use of a female POV by a male writer. He also explains that this
is not a character development story, just a sex party. The disclaimer is a
pretty good author-authored review of the story. But still, I guess I'm
supposed to do my part.
Well, the writing is competent, the voice of the narrator is consistent except
when cliches I think of as "Forum-ese" creep in. A very hot skinny-dip party
between four college students is described in colorful detail. Including an
MFM scene that may have arrived too late in the story for me to really
appreciate it.
I guess that is my -- uh -- meanest -- comment about this. It failed to hold
my interest. To be honest I skimmed large parts doing the old speed reading
stunt around 400 wpm. Sorry, David.
If you like exhibitionistic MFMF sex, check this out. Character development is
not nil, the narrator finds out things about herself and her friends, but the
story is basically one long sex scene. That's the genre, PF Letter, can't
fault the author for sticking to genre conventions. It would be like
complaining about the lack of cowboys in a hard-boiled detective tale.
ATHENA: 9 {Genre conventions are respected but nothing outstanding
is accomplished. The use of purple cliches annoyed me but it is
part of this standard of writing.}
VENUS: 7+ {Genre again. But this is the most important category to
me so I graded tough. The plus is for effort, since I felt the author
tried to put in more character}
MORGAN: 6.5 (8?) {The second number is my estimate of the appeal
to persons who favor this genre. Really, this is well written stuff
of it's kind and if you like this kind of stuff then you will
probably like this one.}
"John's Dilemmas" by Drifter. Guest Review by DG.
This story utilizes some of the most stereotypical, but powerful, fantasies
that men and women have about relationships. John, the narrator, is a
computer nerd with no social life who is about to graduate from college and
take a high paying job. Sue is an 18-year-old vixen who loves cock, and runs
around with the wrong sort of men. One night Sue's boyfriend and three of his
buddies team up on her in a semi-consensual gang-bang, and then throw her out
of the car in the middle of the street, saying that they are tired of her.
John happens to be walking by, and he offers help and consolation.
Sue soon realizes, naturally, that she would be much better off with a smart,
sweet, kind guy like John than with her usual boyfriends, who she apparently
picks up in biker bars and outside the parole office. There is just one
problem: Sue isn't sure she can give up on sleeping around - she just craves
cock too much.
The first half of the story brings Sue and John together as a couple, and the
second half deals with their decision to begin swinging. While swinging
appeals to both of them, they each have their concerns. Sue is afraid that
she will enjoy fucking around too much and will anger John, and John is bi-
curious but afraid that if he sleeps with a guy Sue will think less of him as
a man.
I enjoyed this story quite a bit. It attempt to deals with issues such as
relationships and swinging seriously, looking at both the positive and
negative aspects. This has the effect of making the sex much hotter and more
stimulating, because the reader knows that the characters have an emotional
investment.
However, the story is hampered by some heavy-handed plot twists and by truly
stilted dialogue. For example, near the beginning of the story the author
informs us that "John was a good guy, kind to people and animals."
And I found the following plot twist a bit much: after John tells Sue a bit
about his studies in computer science, the eighteen-year-old oversexed girl
says "I'm fascinated by two things John. One is computer science and the
other is sex. Since sex got me in such hot water I need to rethink that but I
love computers."
It seemed like whenever I started getting into the story, I would run across a
line of dialogue so clunky that it ruined the mood. Usually it would be Sue,
who says touching things like "My darling man... that could not happen. If I
fucked a thousand guys, a thousand hunky studs, none of them could start to
replace you."
This author has a talent for creating realistic characters and situations.
However, that is only half the battle. To write a truly good story, he will
have to avoid unrealistic plot twists and to greatly improve his dialogue. I
don't want to sound too negative, though: the bottom line is that this story
is worth a read as it is.
Ratings for "John's Dilemmas"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
DG (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Facilitator" by MD James. Guest review by Jake Stonebender.
All characters are adults and completely fictional. That means they don't
exist in the real world! If you have a hard time understanding that, you
shouldn't be on the Internet! You should be playing solitaire on Microsoft
Bob instead.
If Bob's even around anymore. :-) If he _is_, he wouldn't know _what_ to do
with this story. By the time you're done reading this story, you will have no
doubt in your mind that the characters are completely fictional, and I don't
think I'm ruining the plot by revealing that this is because they are space
aliens. One of them is, anyway...
The first-person narrator of this story, whose 'type' we read quite easily
through the way he phrases things, is a "facilitator"... someone whom people
call when they want to set up dinner parties "...with delicacies that are
illegal on fifteen planets or to have stuffed and mounted heads of exotic and
endangered animals in their family rooms."
That right there ought to tell you where this story is going.
And it does so, with style, flair, and only the occasional typo.
It seems to have become a slight tradition that the stories Celeste sends me
to guest-review are the offbeat ones, and this is no exception. Our narrator
tells us, this time out, of the desire of one of his "young prick" clients to
experience sex with a Xena, a member of a cloistered, all-female race found on
-- and confined by "TerraGov" to -- a plant in a nearby solar system. The
facilitator tells us of his warnings to his customer about the Black Widow
legends surrounding the inhabitants of Xena, but the client doesn't care; he's
got, simply _got_ to fuck one them.
"OK," says the facilitator, "but afterwards, you _have_ to wait a few hours."
"Why?" "I can't tell you."
The "young prick", of course, cannot control himself, and the results... well,
let's say the results justify the warning he ignored.
A pretty damned decent erotic science fiction piece is the result.
Not exactly the _hottest_ story I've seen on the net lately, but not bad, and
-- except for Anne747 -- most of us aren't grading on the wet-panty scale.
(Love you, hon. :-)
Check this one out, and perhaps you'll join me in waiting to see if the
Facilitator has anything else up his sleeve. Writing one twist story like
this is hard enough -- writing more in the same general fiction is 6 times as
hard, but I suspect this author just might make it.
(Administrivia: Celeste made comment over Christmas concerning the fact that
her grades are getting higher. I grade harder; keep in mind that our grades
may not be directly comparable.)
Ratings for "The Facilitator"
Athena (technical merit): 8.5 (couple of typos, and these annoyingly
broken apostrophes all over the place)
Venus (plot and character): 8.5 (a little more depth in the prick,
please :-)
Jake (appeal to reviewer): 8 (MKS he ain't, but not too bad.)
"Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (alias@pseudo.nym.org). Guest review by
Sven the Elder.
The writer of this story is working on the premise that in the run up to the
millennia wishes *might* become true and that magic *might* be able to occur.
In fact there is a useful paragraph of guidance that explains the thought
process for anyone who might want to contribute to the genre. The writer also
states that this is the only erotic story of the *set* that she is writing.
Now my appetite was whetted. Sadly having finished the story my appetite
remains unasuaged.
The author terms the story as *erotic*; but this is not an adjective I would
apply to this story. In fact I looked up the word in my Chambers 'maxi'
paperback dictionary and erotic is defined as: pertaining to sexual love;
amatory; amorous. These are not epithets I would readily apply to this piece
The story explores the relationship of a man with his wife. How he returns
from a day at the office in a celebratory mood, but then changes his mind and
decides to go play poker with the boys. She then *persuades* him to make love
to her before he goes.... How the story ends is for you to find out, I will
not spoil it for those who like magical fantasy - but I *do* have difficulty
in referring to the story ending as erotic. Not for the bloke it ain't!!
Technically the writing and quality is good, although the plot and character
are not well developed in the length of this tale. Unfortunately the plot for
this type of fantasy does nothing for me this then is reflected in the final
appeal to reviewer figure. This last figure is of course subjective and
personal to this reviewer.
Ratings for Norma's Wish
Technical quality: 9
Plot & character: 8
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Me & My Cop" by Teri S (teri44@hotmail.com). Guest review by Kim.
Yet another story to review, courtesy of She of the Execrable English (private
joke, don't worry about it <laugh>).
Hey, another new author wanting to be taken for the first time. I promise to
be as gentle as I can, Teri; although it may hurt at first, I'm sure I can
bring a smile to your face by the end.
One hot, sultry August night our heroine, we never learn her name, awaits her
boyfriend, also unnamed, who has just phoned to say he's got something to show
her. Yeah, I bet he has <smile>.
It turns out he's a cop and he wants to show her his... brand new patrol
car??? Being an accommodating girl she pulls on a few clothes and goes for a
cruise. They drive through town and on into the desert, finally stopping off
down an empty back road away from the highway.
Being romantic sorts, the pair of them climb into the back seat and... well I
think we'll leave them there, don't you?
I really, really liked this story. It was gentle, sweet, romantic and sexy. I
have a few niggles, such as it being way, way too short. Dammit, I was getting
into it and it stopped <pout>. My right hand had only made its way to the top
of my panties when, alas the source of its inspiration pulled the plug.
Please. Teri, write some more; you've left me kinda hangin' here!
I'm also deeply jealous of our heroine's ability to have an orgasm on a per
thrust basis. Poor girl must have been exhausted <smile>. But that's it for
the bad news.
It even has a surprise and agreeably amusing ending. In short I loved it; but,
Teri, too damn short, darlin'. More of a sensuous kiss than a full orgasm.
Ratings for "Me & my Cop"
Athena (technical quality): 9 (Nearly perfect, no real complaints,
maybe should get a 10)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (For saying it was so short, it's
remarkably well realized)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Add three or four more pages and it
would've been a 10)
* "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (jimfix@earthlink.net). This was actually
posted as two separate stories: "A Summer Romance Part 1" and "Summer Romance
Revisited." I shall review these as a single story, and I advise you to read
both parts together.
Paul (a bright student going into his sophomore year in high school) and his
Mom have been living together since her messy divorce from his Dad two years
ago. Paul and his mother have always showed mutual affection, but during a
stay at some relatives' mountain cabin they realize that their attraction has
a physical and sexual component. With his mature consent, Mom decides to
treat Paul as a lover, and their life together becomes happier. They each
contribute to the other's intellectual and personal growth, as well as to each
other's sexual happiness.
The second half of the story moves more rapidly than the first half. Life
changes; Paul goes to college; Mom gets a new job; their love affair comes to
an end; Mom remarries; and Paul falls in love. This is a very good story.
I think society's general taboo against incest is reasonable; that is, it
makes sense to have an initial reaction that incestuous relations should be
avoided. In general, incestuous relationships are likely to be coercive and
exploitive, even though the participants may be unaware that something bad is
happening. Nevertheless, it also makes sense to consider the possibility that
such relationships could be productive and growth-producing. This author has
gone to great lengths to build a good story around a set of circumstances in
which a mother/son sexual relationship is not only harmless but also
beautiful.
You can skip the rest of this review if moral reasoning doesn't interest you,
but I am going to discuss morality for a few paragraphs. Religions generally
condemn incest, and I (Celeste) am an active participant in the Catholic
religion, whose leaders condemn incest. How do I reconcile these views? Why
don't I either condemn incest or stop being a Catholic Christian?
The answer lies in proportionalist moral reasoning, which says that when there
is a conflict between moral outcomes or goals, decisions must be based on
proportionate consequences. An action that might objectively be undesirable
(immoral) is permitted only if it leads to benefits (called values) that
outweigh its ill effects (called disvalues). The Catholic Church and other
religions have used this kind of reasoning for centuries (for example, with
regard to the "just war theory") but the Church leaders are not exactly
progressive with regard to sexual morality.
The main alternative to proportionalist reasoning in the Christian religions
is natural law reasoning. Here's the difference. Assume that there is a
soldier who has his army's secret plans in a pouch attached to his belt. When
he is in danger of being caught, is it morally permissible for the soldier to
ignite an explosive that will destroy the plans but also kill himself? Moral
reasoning based on the natural law says yes - because the soldier would be
destroying the plans directly and himself only indirectly. In other words,
this is not really suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would also say yes -
but because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the
soldier killing himself. In other words, this is suicide, but it's justified.
Changing the situation slightly, what if the soldier had memorized the plans
instead of having them in a pouch? Can the soldier kill himself if he
suspects that his captors will get the secrets from him? Natural law
reasoning would say no - because he would be killing himself directly and
destroying the secrets only indirectly. This would be suicide, and nothing
can justify suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would still say yes - again
because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the
soldier killing himself. Again, this is suicide, but it's justified. My
opinion is that the natural law conclusion is just plain goofy.
This proportionalist reasoning is not all that complicated, and it makes
perfect sense. Common sense tells me that it would be unfortunate for the
soldier to be put in either situation, but I don't think he would be "sinning"
in either case if he took his life to save his army. On the other hand, the
soldier should consider other factors - such as how well he can withstand
torture, the likelihood that the enemy will get the information from someone
else, the actual value of the information, etc. All this information would
enter into the soldier's moral reasoning to determine whether there is a
proportional reason for taking his own life in either case.
Applied to an issue like incest, proportionalism means that we should weigh
the possible values to be gained from incest (such as the possibility of a
mutually fulfilling relationship that is a natural extension of an existing
spontaneous relationship and which would release two people's tensions while
getting them ready for other relationships) against the disvalues associated
with that action (such as restricting the child from more age-appropriate
relationships, giving birth to children that are likely to have genetic
defects, and societal retribution). In most cases in real life, the disvalues
would far outweigh the values; but in this story the values outweigh the
losses. This reasoning is different from the traditional, more legalistic
approaches, which focuses on whether the action is natural or unnatural -
prohibited by a rule or not prohibited; but this type of reasoning is neither
excessively complex nor illogical.
There is no reason to believe that Jesus would reject proportionalist
reasoning. There IS reason to believe that in most cases in real life the
disvalues will outweigh the values, and so society's general ban on incestuous
activities makes sense - as long the taboo itself does not introduce more
problems than it solves. In terms of moral reasoning, what this story has
done has been to create a situation in which the values demonstrably outweigh
the disvalues.
My personal reasoning is also different from that of hedonism, which
essentially says if it feels good and hurts nobody, go ahead and do it. Both
hedonism and traditional religions offer valid insights into incestuous
behavior; proportionalism offers another angle.
So there! I hope this discussion makes as much sense to you as it does to me.
I do NOT believe that it is necessary that every story describe purely moral
behavior, but I do think it is good occasionally to discuss a story in its
moral context.
Ratings for "A Summer Romance"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com). Guest Review by M1KE
Hunt:
"Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few distractions
to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one woman by another.
Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer show, and meet each other
while standing on the floor for 10 hours fending off propositions from men. At
one point in the shared cab ride back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator,
asks ""Is getting laid the only reason these guys come here?" This is one of
the few distractions, because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to
computer shows.
The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give Christine
a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out that they both
end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend the next several
days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting at the display to show
each other their pussies, and generally having a lovely time.
The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't they
all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing errors, such
as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what? And there are
words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick proofreading would
have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's niggling, but if I didn't
catch at least a couple of grammatical errors, I wouldn't be doing my job as a
reviewer, right?
I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt" scale, a
logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot, sexuality,
spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical factors such as
whether it's Tuesday or not.
* "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by
BillyG.
I had a brief love affair once. The operative word is brief. We were both too
strong willed and selfish to last, at least with each other. Her desires were
bistable; she either wanted to get laid or she didn't. There was no middle
ground. I'd get amorous and make a move. She'd most likely rebuff me with a
comment such as, "You men are all alike. Is that all you think about?"
And the answer was yes. That's all I thought about, besides how I might
strangle her and then drop her into the bottomless swamp. Then something
would throw the horny switch and she'd make a move on me. I NEVER resisted.
Not once did I have a headache. I resented the fact that she could and often
did say, "Nothin' doin' dude," while my response was always some variation of,
"Sure, sure, you bet."
The story "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer depicts a similar nineteen-year-old
boy, Danny who experiences a sexual awakening with his kid sister, eighteen-
year-old Ellen. When Danny wants it, the chances are good that Ellen will
freeze him out. But when she wants it, Danny doesn't have a chance. I know
what that's like; I've been there.
"Ellen" is a good story. The characters are human and more, they're real.
They're both buffeted about by their desires and later, by their guilt.
Danny's first person account tells of his intermittent resolve to NOT be
sexual with his kid sister. She's sweet and innocent (he would rather
believe) and he thinks of himself as single-minded ogre.
There are a couple of very sexy scenes and a couple of pregnancy scares, all
of which lend a heightened reality to this story. It's told as a short
chapter in their lives, soon over and never to be repeated.
The writer's name, Emerson Laken-Palmer sounds like a musical trio. It reminds
me of mishearing the name of a popular duo some years ago. For a long time I
thought the group was called "Haulin' Oats."
Grades: 9.5, 10, 10 A half point off for a few spelling errors and a couple
of minor grammatical goofs.
* "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (zarn@rc.service.rug.nl). Guest
review by Mark Aster.
This is a nice, hot, tender story of sex between friends in the outdoors, set
in a sort of generic pagan-medieval-dungeons-and-dragons fantasy world. The
author's forward implies that this is just one episode in a longer story, or
set of stories, not necessarily involving sex. There are a few references to
characters and events that took place before the present story; while they are
only passing references, and may annoy readers who like all their loose ends
tied up, they add richness and a sense of context to the present story.
Abigail and Ukko are on the way to Carlin, and they stop by a lake to rest the
horses and eat and make camp for the night. Abigail strips and goes for a
swim, and invites Ukko to join her. This is not just a story about two people
fucking. The two are comrades and colleagues and friends, but have never made
love before; the author gives us Ukko's point of view as he gradually realizes
that she is interested in extending their relationship in that direction, and
by the time they're screwing wildly on the blanket, 150 lines into the story,
we've gotten to know them rather well. The author uses various stock devices
of fantasy fiction (horses, crossbows, armor, names of deities), and adds some
interesting sex language: orgasm is "joining the stars" or "leaving" (as
opposed to "coming"!), sexual positions have names like "the Crane" and "the
Faceless Unicorn", and simultaneous orgasm is a "Lover's Journey". Something
like that, anyway. If you hate and despite generic fantasy fiction, this may
bother you; if you love it, you'll love this. If you're not sure, give it a
try; nice hot sex isn't a bad way to be introduced to a genre!
I don't do numbers, but I'd guess that Celeste would give this straight 10's,
unless she doesn't like quasi-medieval fantasy, in which case it might lose a
point or so on the Celeste rating...
Ratings for "Journey to Carlin" (Added by Celeste)
Technical quality: 10
Plot and character: 10
Appeal to reviewer: 10
* "Kevin" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com). Kevin is a 16-year-old boy
with raging hormones, who has the hots for the lady next door - along with
anything else with breasts and a cute butt. His almost-twelve-year-old little
sister asks him some questions about sex, and Kevin gives her a basic course
in sex education:
"Wow. So a guy sees a woman with big boobs -- like Mrs. Howley or Carol -- and
he gets a boner, and then he sticks it in the girl's... place... and shoots
his semen in her, and then she gets pregnant and has a baby." She seemed
amazed.
"Basically, but not all the time. She's got to be fertile. She has to be
menstruating and at the right time of the month."
Sari nodded emphatically. "Some of the girls in my glass have monthlies.
That's what they call them. So they could get pregnant?"
The best parts of the story arise from the conversations between the brother
and sister. Pretty quickly Sari discovers that she has power over Kevin's
penis, and soon they begin experimenting. They learn to like it and spend
many pleasant hours together as they grow up.
First, let me point out that this is a really good story. There are good
reasons why society (and parents) balk at incest. There really are genetic
problems that are vastly more likely to occur when brothers and sisters have
babies together, and so incest taboos have their point. However, this story
seemed more like healthy sexual experimentation rather than incestuous
behavior. (I would have been happier if this well educated young man would
have slid a condom onto his penis before he inserted it into his sister.
Getting pregnant by your father or brother or close cousin is a really bad
idea.)
Secondly (and much less seriously), I have some concerns about the realism of
Kevin's bobbing cock. I think I am an attractive woman, and I teach boys in
Kevin's age group. I don't doubt that they make sexy remarks about me in
private and that they may even jack off while they fantasize about me. But
unless I've gone blind (perhaps from masturbating) they don't get raging hard-
ons when I talk to them. Even if I assume that I have excessively grandiose
opinions of my own beauty, I know other teachers and girls who are certainly
attractive, and the guys (including most of the faculty) manage to engage in
social intercourse with them without excessive perturbations in their loins.
My husband (a veritable stud) is definitely capable of talking to attractive
women without getting a hard-on. I asked him about this, and he assures me
that this is because I "take such good care of him." (And he says he
appreciates this service very much.) I asked him if when he was 16 he could
talk to sexy teachers without going into heat. He said he could; but then he
added that he didn't have me for a teacher! I guess my point is that we're
engaging in a little bit of exaggeration in this story - and in many of the
other a.s.s. stories. I think we need to keep that in mind when we consider a
story like this to be "natural" and "beautiful."
Finally, near the end of the story the author himself gives a good reason why
big brothers should not have sex with their cute little sisters in real life:
once you start having hot sex, it's hard to stop. And there's all kinds of
evidence that little girls who spend their time humping little boys don't do
as well in school or have adult lives and families that are as happy as those
of their peers who approach sexual intimacy with a little more restraint. I'm
not making this up; ask a social worker or school counselor. These are not
objections to the story - just comments about its implications in real life.
It's an excellent story.
Ratings for "Kevin"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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