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From: anon747b@aol.com (Anon 747 b)
Subject: {ASSD} "As I Read" reviews, 3
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Since I'm stuck on not one, but two pieces tonight, I figured I'd take a little
while and do some reading. Fair warning, I might be pickier tonight - I've
been picking my own stuff apart for the last hour. *grin* If you're one of the
authors reviewed, do feel free though to contact me directly if you have a
question about what I've written. These really are just impressions written on
the fly, as I read.
So, once again... looking for consensual sex stories between adults. Turn-ons
include hot sexy works with flirting, tension, seduction, etc. . . . turn-offs
include over-the-top romance, humiliation, too much domination, out and out
force. I'm not looking for stuff I know I won't like, but once I've started
reading, I will likely review it.
The comments I'm going to try and give are the ones I like getting about my own
work. I'll try and pick out the things that work, and don't work - for me.
Please remember, I'm only one reader. Everyone is going to have their own
take. During a conversation with someone else I pointed out that the last time
I was in a writer's group I found reading these types of comments very helpful
- even when about other people's work. It gave me insight into how readers
view stories, and often helped when I was trying to write my next story.
Stories covered:
"A Brief Flirtation" by Nick (MF flirtation)
"A Lesson for Ken" by Solange LaFemme (MF, MFM, cons)
"A Mirror" by DrPanda (not coded)
= = = = = = = = = = =
Title: A Brief Flirtation
Author: Nick <nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk>
Codes: (MF flirtation)
URL: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17356.txt
A coworker asks another a simple question. "Are you flirting with me?" For
her trouble she gets a negative answer. Well, a very detailed negative
response. The writing is sharp, entertaining, and a tease. It's a personal
preference, but I wouldn't have minded seeing a response from the woman at the
end. No matter though, the scene works well as it's written.
Title: A Lesson for Ken
Author: "Solange Lafemme" <my_masters_slave@hotmail.com>
Codes: (MF, MFM, cons)
URL: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17295.txt
The woman in the story is tired of her boyfriend's attitude about gay men. He
doesn't have a problem with two women together, but two men? No way! I liked
this opening. I've always kind of thought the same. It's almost a given that
there were be a lesbian scene in ‘hetero' porn, but the moment two men touch it
becomes a ‘bi' film. Carrie decides to teach Ken a lesson, and enlists the
help of a gay male friend. They get him a little tipsy, and convince him to
let them blindfold him. Then one, or both of them, give him a blowjob.
There were a few things I found a little distracting. I'm not up on technical
terms, but this is a third person piece. Parts of the story are told from
Carrie's view, and part from Ken. At times it even switched during a
paragraph. I think it might have read better written from only one point of
view, with a little more dialogue. Now, dialogue is a scary thing to start
writing into stories. I know I avoided it myself for a long time. Sometimes
though it helps set the mood of a story better.
An interesting question might be, "How do the guys feel?" For me, the story
was interesting. It was neither a turn-on or turn-off. Might be interesting
to get a man's view about how realistic the guy's reaction was. It seemed a
little too easy. If Ken is so against gay men he gives in too easily.
Title: A Mirror
Author: DrPanda@myhideout.com
Codes: (not coded)
URL: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17354.txt
Feeling brave, I decided to open it. Although I was tempted to stop at
paragraph three, I got to number four before I stopped.
"All that great shit. All the stuff you cunts live for."
I decided that was enough. Whatever ‘feel' the author was going for I decided
it just wasn't worth it for me.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
A short set this time. I just looked at the clock and decided maybe I'd head
to bed. Night all ;)
Anne
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