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From: otzchiim@aol.com (Otzchiim)
Subject: {Otzchiim} The Twelve-Step Program, 1/2 (M/F, rom, 1st)
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Codes are: hetero, consensual, first-time, romance.
It may or may not matter to you that there is a verse version of this I am
planning to eventually post on alt/sex/stories. That is somewhat different,
being 164 lines long, 1640 syllables, 12 sonnets, each corresponding to one of
these chapters.
The 12-Step Program
1. The Meeting
Last November Mary Elizabeth Kawicki went out to the supermarket on a
Monday evening to do her week's grocery shopping. Usually she would have done
that on Friday night or sometime on Saturday or Sunday, and then again on
Wednesday. But she had worked late on Friday night, and then on Saturday she
was a little under the weather and depressed, and on Sunday she visited her
mother and her younger sister.
To be honest about it, visiting her family also made Mary Beth a little
depressed. Her mother worried very audibly about the way her sister was
turning out, and Mary Beth couldn't quite bring herself to say that she was not
sure it was worth the worry. Susan was wilder than her older sister, but Mary
Beth wished she had been more that way. At least sometimes she did.
Part of her depression on Saturday was because she was not doing anything
on Saturday night. That had been true for a couple of weeks, but she wasn't
used to it yet. Mary Beth was getting over a long relationship, and still
wondering if she had done the right thing in being out of it.
The man in question had been wanting her to do things that she didn't feel
she was ready for -- you know which ones. And she couldn't really be sure that
she should have said no to him. She was in a pretty blue mood.
Mary Beth sometimes thought that she should avoid the food store on
weekends, since that was when everybody else seemed to do their shopping, but
to judge by this Monday it wouldn't have made much difference. The place was
packed.
She filled her cart and got in line and she was up to third in line when
the cash register broke down. She looked quickly around, but all the other
lines were even longer now than when she had picked this one as slightly the
shortest. This in a strange way cheered her up, since she now had something to
complain about that took her off her personal worries.
The man in front of her turned around and introduced himself to her. He
said a bit wryly that they may as well get acquainted since they seemed likely
to spend some time together here. Mary Beth had to admit that if this was a
blatant pick-up line, it was also an honest one. And it superficially made
sense. She decided that she might as well talk to him since they were not
going anywhere at the moment.
It was close to twenty minutes later before the register was repaired and
they were rung through. She probably could have left before then by going to
another line, but after the first minute or so she wasn't paying attention to
the time. This man, Frank Davis, was interesting to talk to. And nobody but
her cat would notice if she got home a little later.
Frank got through a minute before she did, of course, but he stayed there
and helped her pack her bags. They shared a cart out to the parking lot, still
continuing the conversation.
His car was closer in than hers. When they got there, Frank turned to
Mary Beth and asked her about a date next Friday night. She had been expecting
this to come, and expected to say no... But then she had second thoughts. She
felt that he was nice, she knew now that they shared some interests, and she
could do worse -- God knows she had at times, and on longer acquaintance.
She said yes to dinner and a movie next Friday, and she gave him her phone
number.
2. The First Date
Mary Beth wanted to wear something for Frank that would counter-act the
impression he would have gotten of her from the jeans and wool sweater he had
seen her in at the super-market. But on the other hand she didn't want to get
too fancy. She decided on a plain black dress with a necklace and a little
jacket.
Frank picked her up at seven, exactly on time, and they went to a
restaurant. The food was very good, and the conversation was better than it
had been in the check-out line, perhaps from being in a more relaxed
atmosphere.
He had picked a nice romantic movie, the kind that never seems to get made
these days. (Mary Beth thought to herself that Frank had more of an
understanding of her tastes than she expected from just twenty minutes of talk
in a supermarket line, but she wasn't going to complain, thank you very much.)
She left the theatre half-dreaming, and not just because it was getting late.
Afterward they went out for coffee in a little place only a few blocks
from where she lived -- and therefore some distance from where he lived. To
her surprise, the waitress knew him by name. Frank said only that he used to
come here a lot. She guessed from this that he came here with an old
girlfriend, but why not? She was years past wanting a man who had never dated
before. And anything about his past that was relevant she could find out later
-- and what was she doing thinking about being that serious about him already,
anyway? He might not be interested in dating her again.
Frank drove her to the door of her apartment house and they stood for a
little while talking there. She hated to let an evening as nice as this one
end, but it was getting late. Mary Beth did not want to invite him in now,
since she felt it would give him the wrong impression. (He had been in her
apartment when he picked her up that night.)
He also knew that they must say good night soon, so he asked her if she
was willing to go out with him again on the next Saturday night, eight days
away. Mary Beth was very happy to say yes to him and she told him what a nice
night he had given her.
She was old-fashioned enough to not want to give a kiss on the first date,
but still she was thinking very much of making an exception in this case. Mary
Beth was trying to make up her mind about it, and how to state her attitude if
she decided against it, when Frank just planted a kiss on her cheek, said
"Goodnight, Mary," and walked off down the street whistling.
She stood a moment trying to decide whether Frank had been forward enough
to object to or not. He had been so gentle about it!
3. The Second Date
The next week went fairly quickly, but Mary Beth still found herself
thinking about Frank Davis at times. Nothing serious, but she kept thinking
that he had a nice face and a nice smile, and that the evening she had spent
with him had been even nicer.
The Saturday before Thanksgiving, this was. It was warm that autumn, and
the city squeezed some extra concerts into their series in the park. That was
where they went when Frank picked her up at eight. That was the last concert
for the year, and the weather was barely good enough by the end. She kept her
coat on for the last part of the concert.
Mary Beth had been working on laundry all day, and she was a bit sleepy.
Between that and the little chill and the way the music got her dreaming and
the way Frank was so warm with his arm around her, she did not want to get up
at the end. Frank Davis was very comfortable and relaxing to be with, she
found.
They stopped in a coffee-shop after that, and the pie and two cups of
coffee she had woke her up again. When Frank took her home they parked for a
while just outside her apartment house. When she thought about the evening, as
she wrote in her diary, she could not remember when they parked nor how long
they sat in the car talking, but it was well after midnight before she went in.
Frank got out of his car to walk across the street with her, to her door.
This time Mary Beth had decided (oh, around Tuesday or Wednesday) that she did
want to kiss him goodnight. He certainly deserved that much encouragement from
her.
When they reached the downstairs door she turned to face him, and he said
to her: "You said you are going to see relatives next weekend. Friday after,
at seven? I'll call during the week to see what we want to do."
Those were exactly the words that Mary Beth had hoped to hear, and she
happily said "Yes!" She puckered up her lips to kiss him goodnight. And that
imp of the perverse she had spent the evening with just bypassed her intent and
gave her two quick kisses, one on each cheek, then skipped down the steps and
back to his car.
First he had been a little forward with her (but not enough to object to)
and then he had been a little shy (but he got two kisses instead of one).
Either way, he left her wanting to see more of him. Was this all some
carefully worked out plan, or was it just the way he was?
Maybe it didn't matter.
4. A Solid Kiss
Mary Beth went to her mother's for Thanksgiving, and she helped to fix a
big dinner for relatives. Her mother sat and drank wine after nearly everyone
had left, and got maudlin. It was the second Thanksgiving after her husband
had died, and the first time there were many people in the old house since
then. Mary Beth spent the night on a cot rather than going home. She had
taken the next day off, and she ended up staying until Sunday noon. Her sister
went out with her boyfriend both Friday and Saturday nights and after they left
her mother worried about the couple, though Mary Beth still couldn't see quite
why.
The boy was a bit public in displaying affection, but nowhere near as
extreme as some Mary Beth had seen. She thought Susan could handle him, or was
sensible enough to know if she couldn't. Things had changed since her mother's
day; they had changed since Mary Beth was Susan's age, and that had been only a
few years.
Mary Beth suspected that the real problem was that Susan was the last one
left at home, and her mother was unwilling to have her move out. And unwilling
to admit it, either.
The next Friday was the first one in December. Frank and Mary Beth met at
six, and ate dinner in an Italian restaurant. Then they went to a movie, which
they both found boring although it had certainly sounded good in the reviews.
They stopped for pies and cokes afterward and talked happily.
When they went by her place, Mary Beth looked at Frank and thought that
perhaps he would like some privacy. While she had certainly had much more
trouble in her life with men with groping and wandering hands than with the
opposite, she almost wondered if Frank wasn't being a little too polite and
respectful. Perhaps he would be less restrained if she asked him if he'd like
to come into her apartment and talk a while longer before they said goodnight.
Mary Beth wasn't used to being the aggressive one, but she had decided
that she wanted to kiss him right on the lips before he left that night. He
leaned forward and kissed her ear, and held her as he did. It was a
surprisingly gentle kiss, and surprisingly long. The contact of their bodies
affected her more than seemed reasonable.
She exhaled raggedly. He did too, his lips still against her ear. She
tried to move toward his mouth. Once again he tried to half-coyly avoid it,
but she held his face still and closed in. His hand moved to her face so
slowly that the movement seemed reluctant. His fingers framed her chin, she
lifted her face to his, and his mouth descended. When their lips touched there
was a surprise waiting for her.
His tongue got in her mouth, and she found that he was either very good at
kissing or very serious about it -- if there was a difference in his case. She
felt the room begin to fade away, and she heard the blood rushing in her ears.
"No," she breathed, but didn't resist him.
She should turn her face away, tell him to go. She couldn't. But she
feared that if she showed even a flicker more of response it would set them
both off like wildfire.
He drew back slightly. "I'm taking advantage of you," he said almost in a
whisper.
So take advantage of me, she said to herself.
She, too, withdrew. Her arms had been around his waist. She pulled them
away as if she'd been grasping fire. She put them behind her back and locked
them together.
But he didn't release her. One arm stayed around her, holding her near.
The other hand stroked her hair, then settled on the side of her throat. He
looked at her mouth, then into her eyes. She knew what he was thinking: tell
me to stop.
"We've got to stop," she said, her voice tight.
He shook his head. "I wasn't going to do it this way."
"Yes," she said, looking away in confusion. "I wasn't either."
He started to lower his mouth to hers again. "But I kept thinking about
it."
She summoned all her willpower and pulled away, turning her back to him.
"I thought about it too. It's not a good idea."
His face had a mixture of doubt and desire and amusement on it, but she
could not see that. He stepped nearer, put his hand on her shoulder as if he
would turn her to face him again.
"No," she said. "We don't know each other that well. This is crazy."
"I would like to get to know you better," he replied. And prepared to go.
But before he was out the door, she ran to him and this time she was the
aggressor, at least to start with. Soon Mary Beth relaxed in his arms and it
was a while before she left them, though maybe not as long as it seemed to her.
They said goodnight after agreeing to meet next Friday. It seemed like
hours until her heart slowed down.
After that they spent every Friday and Saturday evening together.
5. The Plot Thickens
That third date may have been the low point of their relationship, for
all that it ended so well. By February, they had settled down to ending every
date with something grand and glorious in the way of smooching to round off a
perfect night, and they were spending more time at it as the months passed.
And then one night, after dinner and a travel lecture, they sat together
on the couch in his apartment and he looked deep into her eyes and she looked
back at him. What he saw in her eyes she didn't know, because Mary Beth had
become unsure of what was in her own mind these days, except that she liked
being with Frank.
Whatever it was he saw, he decided to act upon it. His hand went to her
throat and caressed it, as he had many times before though not as often as she
might have liked. He kissed her and he took down the first button on her
blouse.
That was not the first time that a man had done that -- and many more had
tried -- but it was the first time Frank had done it to her. Mary Beth
half-way wanted to stop him and half-way wanted to let him go on. She held my
breath and did not move. She drew back and looked up into his eyes, divided as
to what to do. He took down the second button. His lips kissed her again
while his right hand reached in to cup her breast.
And then he lifted up the bra and touched her nipples, and she drew in a
sharp breath. After a little while she found herself getting more excited
than she felt comfortable with and she asked Frank to stop -- though she found
it very hard to do so by then.
He drove her home not long afterward. When they stood at the open
doorway of her apartment, she hid her face in his chest for a moment, then
said, "Kiss me," in a low quivering voice. His heart pounded once, twice,
three times -- so hard he felt it throb through his body and deep in his groin,
making him hard there.
With aching slowness, she lifted her lips to his. She kissed him with a
mixture of shyness and boldness that made him want to take her, right there on
the rug and without bothering to shut the door. And when he kissed her back,
he knew his touch told her that, hotly and with eloquence.
While they said goodbye to each other, Mary Beth wanted him all night as
she lay in bed.
6. Temptation
And that was where things stood for the next month, or rather a little
further. Now on most nights Mary Beth removed his tie and shirt and ran her
hands over his bare back and his chest. Now on most nights Frank also
undressed her to the waist and he touched her nipples with one wide-spread hand
while he darted his tongue into her mouth.
His lips and tongue also went down to caress her nipples while he lay her
back on her couch or his, depending on the night, and her hands held him there
as he did it.
One night Mary Beth gathered her courage and wore a sweater with nothing
under it. He discovered that when he kissed her after he had taken her home,
and their kiss that night was very long and deep. His hands went up her bare
back and pulled her to him and she felt his long hard shaft press against her
more than ever before. He took his breasts in her hands, and she ached with
pleasure. She hugged him more tightly.
One night in the end of March, they stayed indoors and watched a TV show
upon her set. Neither of them wanted to see anything that was available, but
they still wanted to see each other. This was not the longest time they had
spent together -- there were several long Saturday afternoons they had shared
by then -- but the longest with no distractions from each other.
Perhaps oddly, they postponed the partial undressing for a long time that
night but they finally went much further than they had before. Frank put his
hand on her leg and slowly up under her skirt. His palm rested when he reached
her panties and he softly pressed down. He held her for a while, then went to
the waistband and under it.
No one had ever done that before, but Mary Beth knew that she wanted him
to do it, that and more. All of her doubts and fears came up at once. She was
not sure how much further she wanted to go, or whether she would have the
will-power to stop him if he wanted to go further than she did.
His finger entered her and she cried out. Her hips rocked back and forth
in orgasm as he continued to touch and rub and stretch her there. The physical
release did not drain her half as much as the emotional one did.
As he rose to go that night, she wound her arms desperately around his
neck. His hands roamed slowly up and down her body. She rose on tiptoe to
press herself against him more closely. Every place he touched her seemed the
right place. Every move his lips, his tongue made against hers seemed more
than right; it seemed so perfect it might break her heart.
Mary Beth wanted Frank to stay with her that night, more than before, and
she fought hard for the strength to let him go. But the strength was his at
the last. He understood the confusion and hesitation she felt, and he left her
a little earlier than usual -- perhaps for the sake of his own sanity.
Otzchiim@aol.com
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