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From: "Jordan P." <rifftide@yahoo.com>
Subject: My Idea of Furry
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Eli...Here's another story for alt.sex.stories. moderated. (I sent you
'Afternoon In Florence' a couple of weeks ago.) I'd like to ask you a
favor. Would you please post this simultaneously under a new heading?
I'd like it called alt.sex.stories.terror. Once again,I'm afraid that
an automatic submission will show up with my wife's name and e-mail
address.                               
My Idea of Furry by Serge


     It was a helluva night, I'll tell you that. I'd caught the
Hagler-Colbert fight at the Garden with the boys and a few of us
stopped in at Sharkey's Ringside for a couple of pops. I'd lost fifty
bucks on that fight and decided to stick around and hang one on. 
Never bet against the local talent, that's one of the things I learned
that night and I wanted to drive it home to myself with eight or ten
Jim Beams. So by the time she walked into the bar, see, I was on my
own and feeling no pain. She was a cute little thing, prob'ly around
thirty; a bouncing, buxom brunette with a funny little pot and a
twinkle in her eye that you usually don't see around Sharkey's,
especially after twelve. One thing led to another and the usual string
of lushed out sports' bums at the bar weren't offering any competition
or distractions so we left together and, all in all, things seemed to
be looking up.
    
      Her name was Annabelle, or so she said, and she had a little
place in Southie. A roommate, true, but she was out, she said (would
to God she weren't, you'll see) so there we went. We had a couple of
Buds at her place and then off she went to the bedroom. 'I've got a
little surprise for you, S, and I think you're going to like it!' she
says and leaves me cooling my heels on the sofa. Then it was
'Yoo-Hoo!' from the bedroom and in I goes. She was in bed with the
sheet pulled up to her nose and her eyes were really twinkling now.
'Come on over, lover boy.' she says so I strolled on over. I stretched
out next to her on the bed. My shoes were off and we were talkin',
getting' sexy and after a while off came the leisure suit and there I
was with a nice stiffy and pussy on my mind in a big way. So we're
kissing and everything but she's still got the sheet pulled up to her
chin; coy, I'm thinkin', and heighten'n the suspense. 
'Well whatcha got under the sheet, Annabelle?' I says. She gives this
nuddy little giggle. 'Only one way to find out, lover boy.'
      So I stick my hand under the sheet and play with her jugs for a
while but the truth is, I'm a straight pussy man and boobs for me is a
limited attraction. I started going a little lower and 'Jesus! What's
this?!' I says to myself. What, did her legs go up through her tits or
what because I immediately got my fingers on the hairiest cunt I ever
laid a hand on. OK, I says to myself, be cool and I start to finger my
through the underbrush to the old sweet spot. And here it was but dry
as a bone. I stick my finger in a little way and Clunk! It was like a
dolphin nosin' up against the glass at the aquarium…no give!
 'Annabelle,' I says, 'Tell me it isn't true. You ain't a virgin, are
you?'
She laughs out loud, 'Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw! No you big silly…that's
my belly button!'
'Your belly button!'
'Yeah, my belly button!' Well, now I was starting to get a little
nervous because if her belly was this hairy…
'Annabelle, I'm gonna have to pull this sheet down a little bit,
honey, 'cause, frankly, I don't know what the fuck is goin' on.'
'Be my guest.' She says with another nutty laugh; so I did, I pulled
the sheet down and holy shit! You wouldn't believe the bush that pops
up from out from under! I just sat back on the bed and watched it
growin' like a hedge in time lapse photography or somethin'. This
ain't a woman, I'm thinkin', this is a Lon Chaney movie and I took a
quick glance out the window to see if the moon was full.
     Well, I'm a gentleman, see, and what I really wanted to do was
run like hell but Annabelle, how would she feel and all? I got a kid
sister whose a spastic and I know for a fact that everyone's got
feelin's.
So I says, 'Annabelle, honey, you are some one real special, you know
that?'
'I know, I know! So what are you going to do now, lover?'
'Anything your little heart desires' I says, but the sweat is dripping
down my armpits and, buddy, I'm man enough to say so.
'O-kaaaaaaay,' she says, 'eat me!' So I took another look. All I can
say is, I was thankin' Sarge from basic training in my mind because it
was gonna' take some fancy negotiatin' to crawl into that bush, like
crawling under the barbed wire in Korea. I almost bolted but I could
see Sarge standing next to the bed telling me, 'Move your ass, S., or
I'm gonna shoot it off for you!' Well, the chinks didn't slow me down
none so I gritted my teeth and got ready to take the plunge.
"'Nother little thing, S." she says then, " 'Want 'cha to tie me up." 
"Annabelle," I says, "We just met!"
'Oh, I trust ya, S.  Thing is, I might lose control and then where'd
we be?"
"Point taken, Annabelle" I says then out she comes from under her
pillow with a pile 'a old ties.

     I had her tied up pretty good in about ten minutes, arms and legs
to the bed posts, and feelin' more like I'm in a Tarzan movie then
hoppin' in the sack with a piece. Jesus, what a jungle! There was no
telling what I might find in there. I tell ya, a little black midget
with a bone in his nose wouldn't have surprised me too much. 
"Annabelle," I said, "What would you think about getting' a pair of
scissors and letting me trim you down a little bit?" What I really
needed was somethin' sturdy from Black and Decker but, like I said
already, I'm a gentleman.
"Ohhhh, no!" she says, "That would be cheatin'"

     Next thing I know I'm down at the bottom of the bed and planning
my attack. I started working my way in from the bottom of the bed,
pushing aside the underbrush , thinking a tunnel would be the way to
go and hoping I'd find a spot where I could get down to business
eventually. On the other side of the bush I could hear Annabelle
snickering, I couldn't see her. "Keep it up, S' she says, 'I know your
doin' good.' She's encouraging me  -and believe you me I needed
encouragement- but she sounded like she was ready to burst out into
her crazy laugh again and it made me nervous. After a while, I kind'a
got my bearings. I had worked my way in about as far as her knees and
it was actually getting kind of cozy in there. She was a clean gal and
smelled real nice, like hot creamed corn. I kept inching my way along,
patient and careful and then I get a whiff of the real home cooking. I
was getting close. Then finally, I was there. It was staring me in the
face but it was so dark in there I couldn't see a thing. I worked my
head back and forth and up and down, trying to make some space to
operate, see, and when I finally got comfortable, I went to work. 

     Now her actual pussy was something else again. That gash was big,
brother! She was nice and wet and I kept sliding into it with my head
until I was in up to my ears, big slabs of fat on both sides of my
face; a real gopher I was and still nosing. Finally I hit the garden
gate and slurped my way up to her clit which was about the size of my
little finger, stiff and sensitive, judging by Annabelle's little
shrieks. I clamped my mouth around it, feeling almost like a homo it
was so big. After a while she gets her nut, a real gusher that left me
burbling and choking for air. That's when the night took a turn for
the worse.

     I'd been rolling around in there with some gusto, see? I'd kind'a
forgotten where I was in the heat of the moment. When I tried to pull
my head back, no way, baby! Her bush had closed behind my head and
wrapped around my neck so I was…I was….I was stuck and it gives me the
willies just to tell you. I couldn't of been wired in there any better
if I'd been spliced in by the phone company.
"Annabelle," I said, "Can you hear me?"
"I can hear you,' she says, 'but louder!" 
'Annabelle," I said, "Christ, I'm stuck! Help!"
"I can't do nothin' for you, S. I'm all tied up at the moment,
remember?" she yelled and started laughing.
"But Annabelle, I can't get outta here!"
"It happens sometimes, S. Stay calm and don't fight it is my advice.
You could hurt yourself. I had a guy die on me once in there! Haw!
Haw! Haw!' she said and that's when I knew she was nuts.
     
      Yeah, she was nuts but she was right! The more I tossed and
turned the closer things got. Every now and then you read about some
poor sap out swimming that gets his legs tangled up in the weeds.
Flailing around only makes it worse in those circumstances and the
next thing you know…blub, blub, blub 'n down he goes, deep sixed. That
was my situation exactly. My only hope was to stay calm and breath
easy but Annabelle was having too much fun for me to relax. 
'Take a break, S.' she said, 'My roommate should be home in a couple a
hours. Why'nch'a take a nap? We got plenty of time.'
"Sure Annabelle,' I said,' That's good thinking. I'll take a little
nap now. We'll just take it easy, OK?"
'Yeah…' she said, 'But suck me off one more time, will ya S? Be a
sport.'
  I wasn't in the mood. My heart was pounding like a race horse but I
didn't see any way around it. I took as deep a breath as I could and
went to work again with no whining. Hemmin' and hawin' wouldn't a done
me no good anyways. After about twenty minutes of forced labor she
lets loose with a bucketful that almost drowned me. I was scared, pal,
but I kept my cool and breathed through the sides of my mouth and it
worked! I was still alive! Annabelle calmed down and then I got to
take my snooze, a soggy one. The 
Beam kicked in and I went out like a light.
    
     I had a dream then that didn't do me any good at all. It must 'a
been a place I read about in school, the tar pits out in California
where the dinosaurs got stuck and died. In the dream I was fallin',
see, real slow and all around me it was dark and hot and sticky. I
could move around and all but it was hard and I could breathe but that
was hard, too. I could see bones of dinosaurs sticking out all around
me and every now and then a big head, like from a tyrannosaurus, with
big white teeth and  eyes that were shinin' and watching me go by.
Jesus! Talk about the creeps! Yeah, but the worst was yet to come.  I
look down to see where I was going and way, way down below I saw a
little bubble of yellow light. I couldn't take my eyes off the thing
once I saw it and even though it seemed to take forever it was getting
bigger and bigger.  And brother, it scared me like nothin' else in the
world! I knew I was gonna fall out into the light soon enough and I
didn't want to!  Anything but that, whatever it was! Slowly I was
falling and getting more and more panicky. I tried to claw my way up
but there was no way, my arms were weak and moved too slow. All the
time these dinosaurs were watching me and grinning with their big
teeth. I felt like screamin' but I couldn't and just when my feet were
going into this light there was a loud noise…ka-boom! Annabelle's
roommate had just crashed into the room.
     
    I don't know how long I'd been out for but when I heard the noise,
my eyes…(I won't say they popped open, they were glued shut) but I got
'em open anyway, not that I could see anything. The famous room- mate…
it didn't take a cop to tell that this babe was juiced to the gills.
'Annabelle!' she yelled, 'Not another one!'
'Yeah…Haw! Haw! Haw!" she says and her pal is laughing too 'Haw! Haw!
Haw!' and this kind of bugged me; plus I was sober now and
hyperventilatin'.
'Glad you find it funny, honey.' I says.
'What the hell did he say?' she says and I hear her stagger over to
the bed.
'Lemme introduce ya,' says Annabelle. 'Daisy, this is S. S., Daisy'
'Nice to meet ya, Daisy,' I says.
"What the hell did he say?' says Daisy and off they go again, 'Haw!
Haw! Haw!'
'Get me outta here!' I yelled but Daisy wasn't paying much attention.
'Say,' says Daisy, 'You got a cute butt, S.' and she leans over and
gives me a little slap.
'Gotta tell you 'bout my date. The imba…imba…shit, what the hell's the
word? Means moron.'
'Imbecile.' I says, trying to be helpful.
'Whassat?' she says.
'IMBECILE!' I yells.
'Yeah, that's right,' she says, 'Imbitchel! Well that imbitchel that
took me out tonight was a bum, I'm tellin' ya. He's suckin' on my neck
half the night and I finally took my gum out and sez to him "Look, if
you're hungry why don't we get somethin' to eat." And he looks up at
me smilin' like a woodchuck, happiest he'd been all night, and says,
"Great idea! Want to split a meatball samwhich?" 
"Sure", I sez, "There's a sub shop on the corner. You stay here, OK?
I'll go get it." I spent the rest of the night drinkin' Mudslides in
the back room at O'Meara's.  Then I get home and here you are…real
comfy.You're no imbitchel, S. I can tell by those tassels on your
loafers you're the sensitive type. Are you a thinkin' man, too? What
do you think of this?'  
Then I hear her spit and the next thing I know she's got her finger in
my ass. 'Ouch!' I said.
'Say,' says Daisy, 'He's the nervous type. Tighter 'n a keyhole!'
Then Annabelle got her brainstorm.
'Hey, I know! I know! Hawhawhaw! Daisy…get the strap-on! We'll do him
up good!'
Oh yeah? I thinks, They don't know who they're fuckin' with. I was up
on my knees in a hot second and I was gonna wrench my head outta that
bear-trap no matter what it took. So much for the genteel approach…
'Aaaah! Aaaah! Stop it, stop it!'
'I'm comin' out, Annabelle!' I said and kept pullin'.
'Stop it! Stop it! You're gonna' rip the box right off'n me! Daisy!
Quick! Get the pinkin' shears outta my sewin' basket! Aaaah!'
Daisy was there toot sweet! I guess they weren't used to havin' a man
around the house. 
'Alright, alright. Hold it ya big square,' she says, 'I'll get ya
out.' Then she starts cutting away…snip, snip, snip, snip, snip.
Annabelle was cursing me out like a sailor but what the hell did I
care! I was goin' home!

    It took about ten minutes but finally I was on my feet.  I had
this raggedy ring of hair around my neck but c'est la vie! I put my
shoes on, got into my trench coat, bundled up the rest and headed for
the door.
'Hey!' yells Daisy, 'Aint'cha gonna stay for breakfast?'
'No!' I yelled. 'No thanks!'
'How about a brew?' was the last thing I heard as I made the stairs.
Then I was out the front door and breathin' the sacred air of Southie
in the street. 
     
    It was just getting light out but I saw a cab and waved him over.
I jumped in the back seat and the cabbie leaned over the seat. 'Where
to, b…Saaay, pal, you don't look so hot. You a Shriner by any chance?'
'No,' I says as I try to tear Annabelle's mink stole off my neck, 'I'm
a lion escaped from Franklin Park Zoo! Now get my ass to Charlestown
on the double!' Then I lay back against the seat and tried to get
myself together. My face was sore, my tongue was swollen and I had a
taste in my mouth like yesterday's meatloaf but I knew if I could duck
the landlady, I was home free.
   
    So I made it, folks, and I'm gonna' end my little tale 'o woe in
the bathroom of my apartment. I'd kicked off the loafers, dropped my
clothes and coat on the living room floor, grabbed a Gem blade from
the kitchen and headed for the john. There I am, standing in front of
the bathroom mirror and hackin' away at my engagement present from
Annabelle. I wondered if Hank Williams ever had a night like this. My
eyes were almost swollen shut and my mug looked like it had had a
working over with one-twenty grit sandpaper then been dipped in a
bucket of Elmer's. Lookin' for love, you poor son of a bitch, in all
the wrong places. I stuck my tongue out. It was the color of white
bucks just before they're ash-canned. And FURRY? Oh, yeah. I had to
make a face 'cause, in fact, that's my idea of furry.


           (soon to be a major motion picture)
 






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