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Subject: RP TG: A Change of Direction (12/22) (Magic, TG)
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A Change of Direction
Part 12
by Tigger Copyright 1997, all rights reserved.

Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond. No archiving
or redistribution of this work is permitted without this copyright
attribution included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving. 

A Change of Direction
Chapter 18

Jacqui slept late the morning of the Prom.  She intentionally
did not set her alarm until noon because she knew it was going
to be a very late night.  She got out of her bed with a bounce
and headed for her armoire to get some clothes when she
stopped herself.  She looked at her reflection in the mirror. 
Sleep ruffled, her tousled mane of hair gave her a look that
Jack found very sexy.  The long, satiny nightgown hugged her
youthful curves like a glove and Jack liked that even more. 
She sat down, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she
decided if she really was going to do this.

Finally, scolding herself for her lack of conviction, and
determined to do what needed to be done, she pulled on the
matching, filmy peignoir, her high heeled slippers and headed
down to the kitchen.

Her Mother was doing something at the stove when she came down
that smelled wonderful.  "About time you got up, lazybones,
you have a lot to d. . ."  She stopped talking when she turned
to face her daughter, surprised at seeing her still in her
pretty night clothes.  "Uhmm, aren't you afraid you won't be
ready in time for Marcus waiting so long to get started?"
Heavens, but she was lovely, Laurie thought again.  Why
couldn't the girl see that and treasure that?  "I know you
don't think much of the little female rituals, dear, but there
is a lot to do to get ready for a special night."

Coughing to clear her throat, Jacqui smiled shyly at her
Mother.  "Sort of thought there might be, Mum.  I was, uhh,
wondering if you could help me get ready?"  The dumbfounded
and unabashed hope that lit her Mother's eyes made Jacqui's
insides hurt.  Quickly, she rushed on, otherwise one or both
of them would be crying.  "I, uh, still don't know how to do
up my hair and face as well as you do, and I was thinking,
maybe you'd take some video of the whole shebang?  I might
want. . . memories . . . later."  She'd almost said "when I am
a man again, but had stopped herself just in time.  That would
start the hurting again."

A painfully joyous smile lit Laurie's face.  "I could do
that." she whispered.  "I would really like to do that."  She
added.  Then, before she could start bawling, Laurie spun back
to the stove.  "I am making your favorite breakfast of
blueberry pancakes.  I don't expect you will want to eat later
today.  So, sit yourself down.  You will need nourishment if
I'm going to be getting you ready."

"What ever have I let myself in for?" Jacqui laughed as she
settled into the chair with a swirl of silk.  Thank you,
Bonnie, she thought.  Thank you very much.

Jacqui was not *quite* so grateful seven hours later as she
waited impatiently for the arrival of her date.  Laurie had
been a task-mistress of the first order from the moment she
had set the stack of pancakes in front of her daughter.

Jacqui had been sent back to her bath twice to re-shave her
legs.  "The stockings are real silk, dear.  We don't want
pulls, now do we?" she'd asked ever-so-sweetly. 

Then there was the four or five attempts to get her nail color
*just* right, or the three different hair arrangements or the
untold different makeup attempts.  "You do want it to be
perfect, don't you darling?"  And of course, Jacqui did, for
her Mom as much or more than for herself.

One problem, however, had been Laurie's quite literal
interpretation of "videotaping the whole shebang".  Jacqui had
good naturedly chased her Mother out of the bathroom when she
was getting ready for her soak in the tub, but she had needed
to put her foot down when Laurie reached for the camcorder as
Jacqui prepared to put on her lingerie.  "Mom!  I might want
to share this with someone other than family someday, okay? 
Let's try not to turn it into a reverse strip tease?"

That had earned an embarrassed laugh from Laurie who had then,
reluctantly, put down the camera to help her daughter put on
the slinky wisps of satin and silk they'd bought to go with
the dress.  Looking at herself in the mirror as she stood
there, arrayed in a red silk camisole and matching thong
panties set, Jacqui thought it would be nice to have some
lingerie shots of herself when she was Jack again.  Although,
she admitted, there would be something perverse about getting
horny looking at the picture of a girl while knowing that you
had been the girl.

Finally, they put on the dress.  Made of shimmering red and
black silks, the design of the calf length, off the shoulder
formal dress had been derived from Romany styles.  The vivid
colors accented Jacqui's complexion and the tightly fitted
bodice was cut to show just the right amount of creamy breast
and cleavage. The tight waist flowed into a full skirt that
would swirl teasingly as Jacqui danced and spun about the
floor.  With her hair teased full and tied off in a bright red
satin bandanna, the large, clip-on (she'd still paled at the
thought of getting her ears pierced) earrings, and her
Mother's cosmetic artistry, Jacqui was done over into the
living image of her gypsy Great Great Great Grandmother.

The final scene in Laurie's video production was a shot of the
stunned stare on Marcus's face as he watched Jacqui slowly,
regally descend the stairs.  Jacqui's quick kiss and "Thanks
for everything, Mom." finally sent Laurie over the edge.  She
spent the rest of her night watching the video of *their* day
together again and again, weeping happily over each
unexpected, precious gift her daughter had surprised her with
this day.


Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months 12 days A. T.

What a remarkable day yesterday was.  I feel like Eliza
Doolittle.  "...I could have danced all night..."

The Prom was a lot of fun, particularly since both Marcus and
I knew how to really dance.

And I am feeling very smug and righteous about doing the girl-
thing with Mom yesterday.  I may not have been born or meant
to be a girl, and I am not likely to stay one any longer than
I have to, but Jacqui made Mom happy yesterday.  And it wasn't
so very difficult.  Maybe if I do things like that a little
more often with her, fight her on things like that a little
less, it won't be so hard on her when she no longer has
Jacqui.  Maybe.

I also went a lot farther with Marcus yesterday than I ever
intended to go.  I went down on him.  Yes, that is what I
said.  I, Jacqueline Donovan, formerly Jack Donovan, am now
*officially* a cocksucker.  Actually, that is really a crude
term for something that made me feel pretty good inside
because it made Marcus feel so good.

It was nothing like I expected it to be.  Sort of hard and
sort of velvety soft, all at the same time.  As to the taste,
well, it was just sort of salty.  In all honesty, I am not
really sure why I did it.  It started out to be another hand
job, but I was just so . . .so high after the dancing and the
music, and he'd just been so great to me, I just sort of gave
him a little kiss on his little head while a stroked his
erection.  Next thing I knew, I had the whole head in my mouth
and he was groaning like he was in heaven. The way he
responded to what I did with my mouth made me feel so
incredibly powerful, so very, very strong.  I never remember
feeling that kind of power when I was Jack.  Made my panties
rather damp, actually.

Marcus wasn't shy about kissing me afterwards, either.  No
silly worries about being a cocksucker by proxy in my lad, and
he told me he understands about me not being ready to "go all
the way".  Says he wants to learn to "do the same thing" for
me.  Does a guy do it differently than a girl, like Bonnie,
does it?  In any case, I think I will keep him, at least as
long as I am Jacqui.  He is really a good guy.  I wonder if we
would have been friends if I had met him as Jack?  He's not
into the same sports as I am... was.  

And on a very positive note - *if* as I suspect, that making
love with a guy is a critical step in my "acclimating as a
woman" - I don't think that is quite so far out of the
question, now.  It still makes my stomach a bit queasy, but it
is "butterflies in the tummy" queasy and not "oh god, not
that" queasy.  It is still a bit scary, but I think I can see
my way clear to overcoming that particular road block to
learning the Transformation Spell.

All things considered - It was a lovely day.

End Journal Entry


*************
It was a surprisingly refreshed and awake Jacqui came down
from her room the next morning.  Jacqui was surprised to find
her Mother's friend, Bronwyn, sitting in the kitchen drinking
a cup of tea, alone.  She was even more surprised when Bronwyn
did not gulp down her tea and bolt.  Maybe I am just over-
reacting, she thought.  

Still not seeing her Mother, Jacqui greeted Bronwyn with her
best smile.  "Hi, Ms. Llewellyn.  Good morning.  Is my Mom
around?"

Bronwyn smiled a the girl and offered her some tea. "She had
to make a quick run to the store.  Something about not having
strawberries or some such thing."

Jacqui turned to the stove to get the tea. "Oh, she is
planning her special shortcake for dinner, Bonn..." Confused,
Jacqui stuttered to a stop and spun to look at Bronwyn.  "I
mean, Ms. Llewellyn."  Something about Bronwyn caught her eye, 
had put her in mind of Bonnie, and she had nearly called her
that.  But that was silly.  Bronwyn was a good four or five
inches taller than the pixie tall Bonnie, and she was not
nearly as . . . busy as her superbly endowed school friend.

"Is something the matter, Jacqui?"  Bronwyn asked, cocking her
head to one side.

"N...n.no.  Nothing.  Just a silly mixup is all."  But that is
*just* the way Bonnie holds her head when she is asking me
something.  Now hold on girl, she thought, what you are
thinking is just plain impossible, she told herself sternly,
but just as suddenly stopped herself in mid-argument.  

Now "impossible" is a mighty strange word for you to be
applying to any situation, Jacqueline who used to be Jack, she
thought.  And every instinct you possess is screaming
"Bonnie".  

Taking a shaky sip of the tea, she told herself to think
clearly, and to examine *all* the facts.  Who was Bonnie?  She
only knew what Bonnie had told her.  And as soon as Bonnie
showed up, things began to get easier for her.  Who helped her
with clothes and makeup when she was fighting with her Mom? 
Who helped start healing that breach?  Who was always there to
give her a little hint or to correct her before she made a
humiliatingly masculine error?  The answer was always the
same.  Bonnie.  Who found Marcus and all but dared her to go
out with him.  Again, the answer was Bonnie.

It also made sense that, if Bonnie was really Bronwyn, that
maybe she'd decided to play it safe, and keep a low profile
around Jacqui.

Was it within her Mother's power to find someone to be her
friend and confidante?  Would her Mother do anything she could
to help her daughter once she realized just how badly the
Transformation had gone?  The answer to each of those
questions was a resounding yes.

Suddenly, all doubts disappeared from Jacqui's mind.  If
Laurie could Transform Jack into Jacqui, then Bonnie had to be
Bronwyn, and Bronwyn was of the coven or whatever it was that
group of her Mother's was called themselves.  Now, the big
question was whether she should be angry about the deception? 
Hadn't the ruse given her help she needed but would not accept
from her Mother? 

And then that answer became equally clear to her.  She should
be angry only if Bonnie/Bronwyn was not really her friend. 
She'd be angry only if *all* of it had been a deception. 
Otherwise, Bonnie/Bronwyn was exactly what she seemed to be -
the friend she had needed.  The very special friend who had
always been there for Jacqui whenever she had needed her.

Taking a deep breath to soothe her fluttering stomach, Jacqui
looked the older woman straight in the eye.  "Hello, Bonnie-
love.  How are you this morning?"

Bronwyn nearly responded out of habit, without thinking,
before it hit her that she wasn't wearing her "Bonnie-skin". 
Eyeing the girl speculatively, she made a quick assessment of
whether she could bluff her way through this or not.  A
telepathic check of Jacqui's public mind put paid to that
idea.  The girl was absolutely certain.  Somehow, she had
taken all the disparate information and put it together into
the truth.  Impressed by Jacqui's powers of intuition if not
her timing, Bronwyn smiled weakly at her friend. "Hello
yourself, Jacqui."  Suddenly, the reason behind the girl's
suddenly greatly enhanced perceptions came to Bronwyn.  

Smiling slyly, she said "You must have gone a whole lot
further sexually last night than you ever have before." She
had decreased the strength of the inhibition that she had
imposed on Marcus in preparation for last night.  Enough so he
could press his suit a little harder, but not so much that he
wouldn't take "no" for an answer if it came to that.  Still,
Bronwyn had not expected much to come of that. She'd *thought*
she knew Jacqui well enough to predict how far the girl was
ready to go with her fellow.  "Well, you sure surprised me. 
So, tell me.  Did you have sex with him?"  She did not think
she'd reduced the inhibition that far, but Jacqui could be a
very inventive little minx when she was turned on, as Bronwyn
well knew.

A smug smile lit the lovely face.  "That is for me to know,
Bonnie-love."

Grinning at her impudence, Bronwyn shook her head. "No, luv, I
need to know, and please, call me Bronwyn when I am in this
skin.  I know it is hard, but it is also safer." If the girl
had gone all the way with Marcus, Laurie needed to know now so
they could determine if Jacqui had gotten pregnant.

"Thank you."  Bronwyn raised an brow in silent demand and
Jacqui gave in with a smile.  "We didn't go all the way.  I,
uh, gave him fella... umm fella...."  frustration at being
unable to remember the technical term set off Jacqui's temper. 
"Oh hell, I sucked him off." she blurted.

Amused at her embarrassment, Bronwyn hid her smile behind her
teacup.  "Oh did you?  Enjoyed it, too, didn't you?" Jacqui's
angry flush deepened into a blush.  "Did you swallow?" she
asked knowingly.

Coloring even more brightly at the blunt question, Jacqui
answered anyway.  "It wasn't bad.  And what else could I do
with it?  I might have gotten his sperm all over my dress,
otherwise."  then she relaxed and giggled impishly.  "He
squealed like a pig when I brought him off." she offered
conspiratorially.

"A man usually does, dear, when a lovely woman gives him that
gift.  Particularly the first time a woman does it for him.  I
am sure Jack would have, too."

All the color drained from the girl's face.  "That's something
I may never know, Bronwyn.  Jack never experienced that, and
now, he may not ever get the chance."  Taking a deep breath,
she pressed on.  "Do you . . . do you know . . . everything? 
What my Mom did to me?  What she did to Jack?"

Solemnly, Bronwyn nodded.  "Are you better about it, now? 
About your Mom?"

Her good mood dissolved, and Jacqui nodded dejectedly as she
poured more tea.  "Mostly, anyway.  I still wish she hadn't
done it.  I wish I understood why she felt she had to do that
to me.  What she hoped to gain by it." her voice fell to a
whisper.  "What it was about Jack that was not good enough for
her."

"Nothing!" Bronwyn's strident voice cut through Jacqui's
depression.  "There was nothing wrong with you as Jack.  You
must never think that what she did was any kind of unthinking,
accidentally cruel whim on your Mother's part when she
Transformed you."

"Then why, Bronwyn?  Why take my whole life, turn it inside
out and leave me in a world that I did not ask for"  Why? 
What right did she have to take away the life I knew and
wanted?"

Compassionately, Bronwyn put her hand across to hold Jacqui's. 
"Your Mother is a member of a group that I also belong to,
Jacqui.  We call ourselves the Sisterhood.  We sensed great
power in you, and a great potential to use that power for
good.  Therefore, because we thought the Transformation was
the best way" and actually, the only way, she admitted to
herself, "for all concerned, we took the responsibility upon
ourselves. We elected to use this specific Transformation to
expose you that power and to help motivate you to learn to
wield the power yourself."

"So, like my Mom, you see nothing wrong with what you had her
do to me, Bronwyn?  Well, you can tell yourselves that what
you did was for the best, or  that it was not an unkind or
unfair thing to do to me.  You can go ahead and tell
yourselves all that; just don't expect me to agree with you. 
You took away my dream.  I wanted to play college ball.  I had
a promise from the coach at BC that he would offer me a
scholarship to play big time college basketball there.  Now I
will never know if I would have been good enough to make it. 
I will always wonder, and regret not having had my chance."

Of course, Bronwyn knew all this.  Laurel had cried herself to
sleep in her arms every night for weeks, furiously berating
herself for doing her duty to the Sisterhood.  Bronwyn simply
did not understand it.  How could any caring person want
basketball more than having the power to help people?  "Seems
like a small dream to me, compared to what you could become
and to the things you could accomplish with your life now that
you have been Transformed." Bronwyn said in a matter of fact
tone that suggested Jacqui should stop whining.  "Besides, you
are going to college in any case.  The Sisterhood is paying
all your expenses to any college you want to attend.  Staying
in town to go to school was purely your own choice, you know."

"But it was my dream, Bronwyn.  With the emphasis on the *my*
and the emphasis on the *was*." Jacqui's voice was hoarse with
suppressed emotion.  "Even when I do manage to undo this . .
this change, nothing will be the same as it would have been or
could have been.  Even if I change back to the way I was, to
the age I was at the moment of Transformation, who will
remember Jack Donovan then?  Who will offer him a scholarship
to play ball?  Will your Sisterhood willingly expend the power
necessary to give me back the life history I did not actually
get a chance to live during the years I was a female?  It is
one thing to change records so that a John becomes a
Jacqueline who has mostly the same history as the pre-
Transformed male. I bet it is another thing entirely to invent
a whole lifetime of records and memories for the rest of the
world."  She stopped to look at Bronwyn and saw the grudging
agreement in her expression.  "Thought so.  And another thing,
this doing-good-for-others thing of yours.  If that is your
dream, I accept it - for you, but it wasn't and isn't my
dream.  I am not sure I even have dreams anymore.  I don't
want yours and I can't have mine."

The girl understood far more than Bronwyn had expected or
wanted her to understand.  The Sisterhood could accomplish
many things, but what Jacqui would need to become Jack again
and play in a major college program was simply too complex a
conjuring for them to undertake with any hope of complete
success.  And complete success is precisely what they would
have to achieve because even the smallest mistake would lead
to questions he could not answer.  The Sisterhood would also
risk discovery if they took such precipitous action on his
behalf.  He was correct.  There was nothing they could do that
would  give back what she claimed they had taken from her. 
Claimed, nothing, Bronwyn thought bitterly.  They *had* stolen
her dreams because the Sisterhood, in its arrogance, had
weighed Jack's dream against their need and found the dream
wanting.  "We have wronged you terribly, then.  You still
intend to reverse the Transformation at the earliest
opportunity?"

A sad bleak look.  "I don't know, Bronwyn.  My feelings on
Jack versus Jacqui run the whole spectrum.  Most times, my
answer is not only yes, but *HELL YES*, Transform me back -
yesterday!  But as we just discussed, the dream that drove me
most of my high school life is lost to me. When I think of it
that way,  I just feel like saying "the hell with it".  I will
have to start essentially from scratch in either case.  Then,
there are those rare times, like immediately after making love
with you, for example. In those moments, I actually think that
there is a chance that my life as Jacqui might be even better
than my life as an un-Transformed Jack could have been.  And I
hate to admit this - because I detest such weakness in myself
- there are those other times?" Jacqui lifted her brows at
Bronwyn as her voice dropped even lower, "Those very lonely,
scary dark times when I feel there is no place in this world
for Jack or Jacqui, anymore - times when I just want it all to
end."

"END?!?!?" Fear clogged Bronwyn's throat and made the words a
squeak.  "As in the *final* end?" The girl nodded jerkily. 
"Oh, Jacqui, you mustn't. It would destroy your Mother.  She
was not alone in this.  It was not her decision alone to
Transform you and then limit your options so severely
afterwards. We of the Sisterhood did it with her; *we* asked
her to Transform you; *we* told her that it was the correct
thing to do. *We* told her to craft the spell so that only
you, with the fullness of your own power, could undo the
Transformation.  If you . . " Bronwyn had to brace herself
before she could even say it aloud, "do yourself harm over
this, because of what *we* asked her to do to you, it will
kill her.  She is a healer."

"I know that.  It is what stopped me the one time I came close
to . . doing it, and why I won't do it in the future.  I love
her.  She is my Mum."

In a very quiet voice.  "She likes hearing that from you very
much, Jacqui."

"I know that, and I try to say it to her often.  It is just
that sometimes, I can't get past the bitterness and the hurt."

"Hurting goes both ways, luv.  You are both healers.  Perhaps
you could heal each other?"

"I don't know, Bronwyn.  Maybe.  After yesterday, I think we
can.  I have the entire, long summer to decide."

You have the summer now that you have forced your Mother to
set aside her damnable plan to sacrifice her life so you could
have your male life back, Bronwyn thought gratefully. "So what
will you do?  About the magic and mastering the Transformation
Spell?"

"Continue with it as best I can.  As you know, I am not going
away for college, so I can continue taking instruction with
Mother.  Maybe I will figure it out sooner or later.  When I
do, I want the option of being able to act upon the option." 
Then, Jacqui remembered the question she wanted answered
immediately after she penetrated Bronwyn's disguise as Bonnie. 
"So what happens now that I know the truth about you?"

"What do you mean, luv?"

"I will miss Bonnie.  She was my only real friend.  Is she, or
rather, are you going to just disappear from my life, now?"

Bronwyn was on her feet in a flash and pulled the girl into a
tight embrace.  "Goddess above, what an awful idea.  Bonnie or
Bronwyn, I love you, Jacqui.  You are important to me.  I will
always be with you.  In fact, now that you are strong enough
to see through my disguise, I can undertake to help your Mom
in your training.  There are some aspects of the craft that I
am much better at than she is."

"But what about . . ." she broke off, embarrassed to even
continue the question.

Bronwyn arched back so she could see into the girl's eyes.
"What about. . . what, dear?"
Blushing furiously, but refusing to be deterred from something
so important to her.  "What about sex. . . I mean, making
love?"

The light went on in Bronwyn's mind.  She pulled the girl back
to her and kissed her fiercely.  When they were both
breathless and heatedly aroused, she broke the kiss and rasped
"Does *that* answer your question, you silly girl?  I love you
and I want you, and the only way to keep me out of your bed is
to kick me out.  Got that?"

A foolish grin lit Jacqui's face.  "Got it, and after that
kiss, I have something else, too.  A burning need.  Care to
join me upstairs to stoke that fire a little before we put it
out?"  She held out a hand which the older woman
enthusiastically took in her own.  "It will be interesting to
find out if an older lady like you can keep up with me." she
added saucily.

Bronwyn's mouth fell open in stunned amazement.  "Why you
little . . ."  Her mouth snapped shut as an evil sparkle lit
her eyes.  "Well, I can tell it is time to start teaching you
things that Bonnie was afraid would scare you off screaming to
your Mommy.  Come along, Miss Smartie Britches.  I am going to
indoctrinate you into the more sexy aspects of spanking. *You*
need one."  And then Bronwyn began to drag a suddenly
uncertain Jacqui upstairs by her ear.

End Part 12; Continued in Part 13



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