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A Change of Direction
Part 8
by Tigger Copyright 1997, all rights reserved.

Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond. No archiving
or redistribution of this work is permitted without this copyright
attribution included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving. 


A Change of Direction
Chapter 14

An excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

68 days A. T.

I guess that since I have been Jacqui now for over two months,
it is perhaps time to start counting months instead of days?
Next entry, I think.

Something is *really* bothering Mom, and it is getting
progressively worse every day.  Every time Ms. Llewellyn comes
to visit, they go into her library and then she comes out
still more upset.  I have tried to talk to her about it like
Bonnie talks to me about my problems?  But she just gives me
this sad little smile and tells me I am imagining things.  All
I know is that something about all this is really setting my
hair on end.  Wish she would let me help or something.   Guess
real girls have some type of sensitivity I either lack or have
not developed yet.  I really wish I could do for her what
Bonnie did for me.

Another problem on a similar issue. I am not sure why, but I
keep remembering the wicked witch's death scene in The Wizard
of Oz whenever I see her upset like that.  It is a creepy
feeling.  And it is so vividly clear in my mind, almost like I
am actually watching the show on a TV in my head.  I keep
seeing the witch die, over and over again.

I DON'T LIKE IT!!  Okay, so I made that stupid crack about
Salem the day after she Transformed me.  I REGRET THAT,
OKAY????  It was a stupidly male comment intended to wound her
and 

          _I_    _DID_     _NOT_     _MEAN_    _IT!_

I just wish I could take back the words.

Something else has changed, too, and it is *not* to my liking. 
I played chess today on the Internet, again.  And I got
CREAMED, again!  My mind wanders so much now I can only keep
two or three moves ahead.  I know the correct moves to make. 
I proved that later when I reconstructed the games.  I just
lacked focus at the time I was playing.

And I made a couple of strange, really impulsive moves in
another game that, in the light of reconstructing the moves,
were very weak. I know better.  I am, or at least, Jack was, a
much better chess player than this.  The only game I seem to
win consistently now is a "speed game", where thinking ahead
time is limited.  I seem to have an instinct for the game that
does not work as well when my opponent has time to plan moves
ahead and can use it to control the game.

I am not comfortable with this.  I was never very good at the
speed game before.  The strength of my game was cold,
rational, ruthless strategy.  Now, it is like there is too
much else in my skull.  I cannot focus the way I used to
focus.  Tomorrow, I will talk to Mom about it.  Hopefully, she
might be able to help.

End Journal Entry

***************
Jacqui slipped down to the kitchen early the following day. 
Although not in her Mother's class when it came to cooking,
she was pretty good for a teenage male.  That meant she was
probably adequate as a teenage female.  She set out to fix a
special breakfast for her Mom.

Shortly, the smell of coffee brought Laurie down to the table,
still yawning.  "G'mornin'" she mumbled.  "What are you doing
up?"

"Wanted to beat you down for a change and see if I can still
make a decent omelet."  Jacqui grinned as she set a fluffy
folded egg concoction and a cup of steaming coffee in front of
her Mother.

Laurie eased into the seat and took a sip of the coffee before
tasting the egg.  "Delicious." she proclaimed with her mouth
full.  She swallowed and then looked up at her daughter.  "And
why shouldn't it be wonderful?  I taught Jack years ago.  Did
you think being female would do something negative to your
cooking talents?"

Jacqui laughed easily, surprising both women.  "No, Mum. But
some things have been. . . .changing."  She hesitated, not
knowing how to ask the question.  The part of her that was
still Jack pressed the issue and forced her to confront it
directly. "Mum, does being female change something fundamental
in my head?  In my brain?"

Laurie considered this for a long time. "I am not sure I know
what you mean, dear.  Are you having trouble with your school
work?"

Jacqui shook her head. "No, not trouble.  Just something out
of my experience.  Like yesterday, I was playing chess at the
park with one of the older folks who go there?"  Laurie nodded
her understanding.  "Well, I got this wild notion to make this
one particular move.  It completely violated the strategy of
the gambit I was trying to play, but the feeling was so . . .
.demanding, I guess. Anyway, on a whim, I just did it.  I
expected to get clobbered but what actually happened was that
the move totally disrupted the variation the other guy was
trying to play and I won in four more moves.  On the other
hand, I can't control a game like I could before.  I tend to
get. . . distracted." Jacqui broke eye contact with Laurie as
if that admission had somehow embarrassed her.  

She visibly gathered herself, returned her gaze to her Mother
and pressed on.  "Another example is I can be alone in a room,
working on my schoolwork, and my concentration will break
because I will suddenly just *know* that someone is going to
enter the room in the next minute."  Jacqui frowned. "Heck,
Mom, as Jack, a marching band could be in the room with me and
I would not have noticed them.  I used to be able to just
close out the world when I studied.  Now, I can't."

Laurie set down her cup and looked pensively at her daughter. 
"Sounds to me as if you are starting to develop a fairly
strong intuition."

Jacqui snorted derisively.  "Intuition? As in women's
intuition?  Isn't that just a convenient myth?"

So, Jacqui thought with a rueful smile.  Jack is still with
us.  It was to be expected.  She'd only been female, what, two
months?  "Look at it this way, Jacqui. The ability to focus on
a goal to the exclusion of anything else, or how did you put
it?  Oh, yes to close out the world."  She grinned over her
cup.  "That is a very fine talent if your job is to go kill
the mastodon and drag its wooly carcass back to the cave. 
That is what men evolved to do.  However, if your job is to
protect the family while said male is out stalking dinner,
other and perhaps broader instincts might be the result of the
natural selection process.  Other input, that a man might not
need to process, that might only distract him at the critical
point of the hunt, for a woman and her family might be the
difference between escaping and living, or staying put and
dying.  Darwin doesn't just make animals bigger, stronger or
faster, dear.  Survival of the fittest means many things.  For
women it meant developing different talents and
characteristics than it did for men."

"So this is real?  This is something you experienced?  I'm
not. ." and her voice trailed off, uncertainly.

"Yes, it is real, and I did experience what you are
describing, although I don't remember it being quite so
upsetting to me.  And you are not. . . WHAT?"  Laurie infused
the word with Motherly command.

"I thought I was going a little crazy.  What has been
happening made no sense.  There was no data I could see, but I
was just so. . .so sure."  She flung her arms up in a sign of
frustration.

"You are not going crazy, dear.  The data was there, just not
evident to your "regular" senses.  Intuition is very real, and
if you must be so bloody analytical about it, I suspect that
it uses peripheral senses. Like seeing something out of the
corner of your eye.  Your subconscious knows it is there, but
it is not in the field of vision your conscious mind is
analyzing.  As a result of evolution, women can accept,
process and act upon such data.  Men have not evolved that
way."

A relieved Jacqui began to work on her own meal.  "So, I
should learn to accept these feelings, and to act on them?  Is
that part of being a female that I have to learn?"

Laurie hid a grin.  Everything still pointed to how to get to
the goal of being a male again.  How very masculine of you,
dear daughter, she thought.  Now was probably not the time to
tell her daughter that another element of her womanly heritage
was a strong, almost psychic empathy that also fed that
intuition. That did not fit into the "seeing out of the corner
of your eye" model she had just sold the girl on.  That might
be more than Jacqui could assimilate in one sitting.  Besides,
if the other explanation was sufficient to help her accept the
evidence of her new perceptions, that was more than enough for
the moment.

Laurie conspicuously stuck her tongue into her cheek.  "Well,
if you got a strong feeling to jump in the road in front of a
car, I would hope you would be more rational about it than
that."   The answering grin from Jacqui was just what she had
hoped for.  Now, Laurie became serious once more.  "On the
other hand, I think you should regard these strong feelings as
part of the way you now view the world.  If it is safe to do
so, experiment with them.  If the feeling is recurring and
strong, I would suggest that it might be important."  

Jacqui frowned again and Laurie caught it. "You can always
talk to me, luv, if you are bothered.  I am a bit more
comfortable with such things than you are just now. I might be
able to help you."

For a moment, Laurie thought the girl might want to say
something, but in the end she just smiled. "It's probably
nothing, Mom.  Thanks for explaining things to me.  It has
helped."


Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

2 Months 14 days A. T.

It has been almost a week since my talk with Mom about this
blasted intuition thing.  Well, mine has been driving me
crazy, or if *it* hasn't, then I am simply going crazy all by
myself.

I am *dreaming* of that damned Witch in Oz, now.  Every night
for the past few days, I have come out of a sound sleep with
the Witch's death scene playing in Technicolor on the backs of
my eyelids.

Only thing is, this morning the scene changed - big time!
Instead of the green faced actress melting, the witch was Mom,
and instead of Dorothy holding the water pail, it was Jacqui.
Me. 

Mom, this is getting *really* creepy, and I am getting
*really* frightened.

I can't do what Mom suggested.  I can see how that
conversation would go. "Hey, Mom, my intuition tells me I am
going to kill you."  Right.  That ought to help improve
matters between us.

So, what do I do?  I wish I knew another one of her Witch
buddies.  I would really like a disinterested opinion on this. 
But I don't have one, and I am not comfortable with this
intuition thing yet to decide what to do.  So I have decided
on a plan of action that ought to give me some more "hard"
data.  

It took a while to figure this out, but everything keeps
pointing back to the scene in the movie.  Whatever is
bothering me, must be there in that movie itself.

Tonight, Bonnie is coming to stay the night again.  Before she
arrives, I am going to make time to watch the movie again. 
Maybe that will give me the clue I am missing.  I think the
old remote may get a real workout when Jacqui, I mean Dorothy
pitches that water pail.

End Journal Entry.

*****************  
Jacqui crept out of bed at dawn.  Bronwyn felt her leave, but
the girl obviously wanted to be alone and decided it was best
to let her.  She was so tired, anyway.  Jacqui had been
restless the entire night.  She'd gotten out of bed several
times and paced about the room, or sat at her vanity. 
Whatever was bothering her  had kept Bronwyn from getting much
rest, either.  She'd catch a few more winks before she had to
suffer the torture of optics and wave theory later that
morning.

Laurie came down to find coffee made and her daughter sitting
at the kitchen table.  "What's wrong, luv?  Can't sleep?" One
thing about her child had remained constant, Laurie mused, he
*or* she would not miss a minutes sleep she did not have to
miss.

"No.  Yes.  Well, maybe."  Laurie smiled at that.  So
familiar, she thought.  "Mum?  I have a question and I want an
honest answer."

Laurie went still.  "I will not lie to you, Jacqui.   I have
already promised you that."

"Not lying is not the same thing as telling the truth as I
discovered a few months ago, Mum.  I need the truth and the
whole truth - nothing held back.  Your word, Mum, Please."

"Very well, if you feel that my oath is necessary.  I swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  So
be it."  Laurie intoned, her hands open and in front of her.

"I have been having those feelings we talked about again. 
Actually, I have been having them ever since that night that
The Wizard of Oz was on television. I love that movie."

"I know.  I think we have three copies on video and you still
never miss it on TV."  The smile was soft, maternal and it
made Jacqui's heart skip a beat.

"Mum, when the Wicked Witch is killed, she says something
about all her works being destroyed with her." Laurie went
stock still.  Her empathy cannot be that strong, she thought
in dismay.  Her daughter's next words dashed that hope to
bits.  "Is that true?  If a ... witch," she stumbled over the
word, "dies, do the effects of her spells die with her?"

Laurie wanted so badly to lie, but knew she could not. 
Moreover, she knew that Jacqui had seen the longing to evade
that question in her eyes.  Taking a deep breath, she tried to
answer the question without giving herself away.  "The effects
of some simple spells do.  Some spells are special spells, and
those do not necessarily end with the death of the person who
cast them."

Jacqui heard the hesitancy in her Mother's voice and decided
to ask the question she wanted answered outright. "Will I turn
back into Jack if you die?"

Laurie looked away, refusing to meet her daughter's gaze. 
"No, Jacqui.  The spell is permanent unless and until someone
specifically removes it."

Jacqui pounced on it.  "Someone!  That is the first time you
did not say that *I* had to break it.  Just now, you said
"someone else" had to do it."  Jacqui considered that.  A
flash of that intuition struck her.  "The key is still your
death, isn't it?" she said flatly.

Defeated, Laurie nodded and explained the process in detail. 
Jacqui listened impassively throughout the entire monologue. 
When Laurie had finished, Jacqui sat staring into her coffee
cup.  "You should know, darling, that in the event I die
before you have learned everything you must know to undo the
Transformation, friends of mine will then be able to do it for
you.  In fact, I have asked a special friend of mine to
promise that she will see to it that your wishes are granted
should I . . . die."

Fear clutched hard at Jacqui's guts.  She could not do this
without Mom.  There had been mornings when only the assurance
of Mom being there had given her the courage to go on.  She
*had* to have Mom with her all the way through this.  "You
will give me another promise, Mother.  You will do nothing to
take your own life, do you hear me?!!?  Jacqui was screaming
and she was shaking her Mother bodily with hands gripping the
lapels of Laurie's robe.  "You will live with this the same as
I have to.  You will do everything you can, short of harming
one hair on your head, to help me, but don't you DARE do that
to me.  Don't you DARE take my Mother from me along from with
everything else.  Damn you, I LOVE you and I will live with
almost anything except your blood on my hands."

"You. . . you love me?  After. . . after.."

The two women met in a fierce embrace.  "Yes. After
everything.  It was Bonnie who first reminded me of that fact. 
It was the same weekend I saw the movie on TV, again.  I could
not hear you through the hurt before.  I know you thought this
was for the best.  At least, I knew that in here." and she
touched her fingers to her forehead. "But it took a while to
accept it down here."  She patted her breast.  "I make you a
solemn promise, Mother.  If you die before I am capable of
making my own decision, and your friend comes to me?  I swear
that I will choose the option I want the least."

Eyes wide, Laurie sputtered.  "That is a stupidly male
reaction.  Goddess, but you are just pigheaded enough to mean
that."

"You know it, so I guess you had better be very careful until
I can manage my own Transformation and make my own decision."

Sighing, Laurie nodded.  "Okay. I promise."  She lifted a
sleeve to wipe away tears.  Her daughter *loved* her.  That
was enough for now, and Laurie was wise enough not to press
for more.  "So, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Oh, something light - fruit and toast?  I have been informed
that I eat a little too enthusiastically." she sniffed
indignantly.  "But I will get my revenge.  Four hours of
refraction, reflection and interference patterns ought to
cross her eyes for her."

Better you than me, Bronwyn, Laurie thought, and then shoo-ed
her daughter off to wake her friend.

*****************
Jacqui was in the library setting up for the day's study when
Laurie got Bronwyn alone.  "And she figured it out all by
herself?  I swear, Laurie, I said nothing to her.  I did
nothing to alert her."

"I did not think you did, luv.  I think, however, we may have
seen the first inkling of deeper knowing and strong empathy
with her.  And I think she is starting to read me like a book. 
Jack never could, but I think my daughter sees deeper."  The
disgusted look on her friend's face brought a chuckle to
Bronwyn.  "You had better be careful, Miss." Laurie snapped,
peevishly.  "She *might* start reading you!"

"Ah, but unlike your own skills, deception is at the core of
my talent, dear heart.  She will have to become much more
advanced and powerful to read past my shields.  She just
might, though.  If she can put so little real information
together and put you on the spot like that." Bronwyn just
shook her head.  "Good thing we only need to maintain this
masquerade until she graduates."

"Well, just be sure to be very careful around me, Bron.  If
she reads me too well, she might pick up on you."

"What a wonderful thought.  Well, I am off to learn more about
waves than I really care to know.  See you at lunch."

*********************
October turned into November into December, and things became
easier between Jacqui and her Mother.  Meals and quiet times
were no longer the silent battlefields of dark looks, cold
backs and pointed sniffs they had been shortly after the
Transformation.  Bonnie/Bronwyn was a frequent visitor and
dinner guest.  Study time they called it, Laurie snorted
derisively to herself.  Well, Jacqui was learning how to enjoy
that body she now wore, and that was an important part of
learning the master the Transformation Spell.  She was also
learning how to give as good as she got, if the goofy grins of
utter satiation on Bronwyn's face when she stopped to say good
bye were any indication.

Jacqui tried out for and made the girl's basketball team,
although she was not a starter.  Her strength and body control
were simply not up to her (Jack's) previous standards.  She
was an adequate shooter and a determined, hard nosed defender,
but her body just could not do what her mind "told" it to do. 
As a result, she tended to fall the floor or to trip over her
own feet fairly regularly.  In a year or two, she would have
learned her new body well enough to be an excellent player
again.  

Unfortunately, there just was not enough time for her body to
relearn all that before the start of the season.  Still, she
played about fifteen of the forty eight minutes each game,
usually as the second player off the bench.  Both Laurie and
Bronwyn were encouraged with the way the girl opened up with
her teammates, and how they quickly integrated her into their
after school activities.  She wasn't "one of the girls", but
she was "one of the team", and that helped her acclimate a bit
more.

Her grades continued to be among the best in the school, and
she had been accepted at all of the colleges to which she had
applied.  Laurie had been surprised by Jacqui's decision to
attend the local state college instead of heading off to one
of the more prestigious science schools.

Staying close to home made sense, though, since only Laurie
could teach her daughter what she needed to know, what she
still wanted to know.  Sometimes Laurie still wished for the
post-Transformation relationship she had enjoyed with her own
Mother.  The happy discoveries, the little victories over the
unexpected pitfalls of being female, the shared laughter and
the lovemaking were all things she was unable to share with
her own daughter.  

Her daughter was attacking (that was the only word that fit)
every task Laurie set for her.  Frankly, it was just a little
scary how easily the girl had absorbed and stored away large
amounts of knowledge in that computer brain of hers.  Laurie
was particularly pleased with how well her daughter was
picking up the fundamentals of Laurie's own specialty, the
healing magic, although the girl did tend to forget to shield
herself properly when she established a link.  

That was really not a problem when healing minor ills or when
simply giving comfort, but it could be a huge problem if the
hurt or disease being dealt with was really serious.  In that
case, a failure to properly shield could be fatal for the
healer.  The healing link was almost like a sharing of life,
and if the individual being healed was ill enough, he or she
could almost syphon life out of the healer.  A healer had to
learn to protect the vital inner core of their own life-power,
or else both healer and patient might die.  Laurie wondered if
Jacqui's problem with shielding was that there was still so
much "Jack" in Jacqui.  Males rarely felt the need to protect
themselves the way women often did.  Laurie herself had
learned the healing arts far later in her transition that
Jacqui was learning them now.  Was Laurie's own instinct for
feminine-based self protection more keenly developed because
of that, or was she just more inclined that way than her
daughter?  She did not know, but hoped that Jacqui would start
to remember to be more careful with herself in the future. 
Particularly with healing. 

Still, Laurie could not have hoped for a better, more
motivated pupil. She just wished that what it was that
motivated her daughter could have been different. 

So, things were definitely looking up, at least in Laurie's
view, when one evening in early December, an angry and
distraught Jacqui had stormed into the house.  Completely
ignoring her Mother's greeting, the girl had stomped up to her
room without a word.  Moments later, she had come flying down
the stairs, wearing her exercise shorts and a man's t-shirt
that Laurie had not known she'd bought, and went out to the
basketball court on the driveway.

Laurie had watched her for almost an hour, in the cold dark of
a December night, running and shooting, shooting and running. 
There was something odd to the way the girl moved, too.  Her
movements were jerky, strained-looking, without any of the
fluidity and grace she had been working so hard at developing
over the past weeks.  She looked like a short girl trying to
emulate the play of a tall male.

That was it.  For whatever reason, Jacqui had forsaken all the
new skills she had painstakingly developed since her
Transformation, and was reverting back to the way Jack had
approached the game.  Only she lacked the height, strength and
speed to make it work for her. Laurie put down what she had
been doing and went outside to her daughter.

The remnants of the eye makeup Jacqui wore now (because
Bonnie had asked her to) had made dark tracks down her
cheeks.  Laurie knew in an instant, that it was not
perspiration that was responsible for those marks.  Her
daughter had been crying the entire time she'd been out here
punishing herself.

The ball got away from Jacqui and bounced to Laurie who caught
it easily.  Although not the athlete her son had been, she was
in good shape and she had been wearing these female bumps a
lot longer than Jacqui.  In one smooth movement, she took the
ball up into a jumpshot and sank the twelve footer. She'd been
practicing, too, during school hours.  Jacqui had not realized
her Mother had been there until that moment and simply stared
at her, the tears still streaming down her face.  Laurie
retrieved the ball and zipped it at her daughter's midriff. 
"How about a game of one-on-one, tough-girl?  21 points, win
by two?" she challenged.

The look of surprise told her that Jacqui had not expected
that.  Grimly, the girl nodded and tossed the ball back to her
Mother, conceding the first turn.

What followed was not a game, it was warfare.  Whatever was
driving the girl, Laurie thought the third time she had been
put on her backside, it is not the spirit of friendly
competition.  The fourth time she and Jacqui had tussled for
the rebound of an errant shot, Laurie had gotten her lip
split.  Her ribs were going to be black and blue from the
vicious way Jacqui used her elbows to clear a path to the
basket.  Laurie only scored on quick jumpers made before her
opponent could close on her because of the way Jacqui swarmed
her on defense.  You should have fouled out within the first
five minutes, luv, Laurie thought grimly as Jacqui stormed
past her to sink another lay up to make the score 20-10. 
Laurie took the ball to the circle and started to shoot when,
out of no where, Jacqui moved in to block her shot.  

Although she did not have to do so following a blocked shot,
Jacqui cleared to the circle, giving Laurie time to get
defensive position.  Jacqui simply ran over her, making the
winning shot.  Both women fell to the pavement, Laurie because
Jacqui knocked her down, Jacqui because she tripped over her
falling Mother when she came down from making her shot.

The back of Laurie's head bounced hard off the blacktop,
making her see stars.  Hearing the sickening *thunk* of her
Mother's head on pavement broke through Jacqui's black mood. 
Quickly she moved to her Mother, seeking to initiate the
healing link as she had been taught.  No real damage she
sensed with a relieved sigh. 

"How . . . many times." Laurie gasped.  "Have I told you to
guard yourself when you do that?"

A sheepish grin flitted across Jacqui's smudgy features.  "It
might be easier to answer how many times you haven't.  Are you
all right?"

"What do your senses tell you, girl? And don't try to tell me
you don't know because I felt just how deep you went."  Laurie
had been as stunned by that as by the fall.  The girl had gone
very deep into her Mother's mind to ensure that there had been
no damage.  

"You will be okay.  Just take two aspirin and call me in the
morning."  She quipped back as Laurie gingerly lifted herself
into a sitting position and scooted over to lean against the
garage.

"Smartie." she grunted.  "Mind telling me what that was all
about?  And now that you have trounced and humiliated me, do
you feel any better?"

The happiness she had felt when she'd known her Mother was all
right evaporated and Jacqui seemed to shrink in front of her
Mother's eyes.  Wearily, she dropped down to sit beside her
mother against the garage.  "It was just a very bad day."

"Wanna tell your old Mom about it?"  Laurie put an arm about
Jacqui's shoulders.

"Today was "Commitment Day", and it just all became real.  I
couldn't do anything right at practice today, and I may get
moved even farther down the bench because of it."

"Commitment Day?  What is that?"  Laurie was confused.
 
Looking disgusted, Jacqui snorted at her Mother's ignorance. 
"Today is the day that the letters go out at the big schools,
the ones offering basketball scholarships.  It is also the
first day you can formally commit to a school, accepting their
offer.  There would have been one of those letters in the
mailbox today, special delivery, from BC.  The coach there
promised me one last summer after that basketball camp I went
to in June.  He was there as one of the counselors and he'd
scouted me while his team was out here playing Stanford."

"I did not know about that.  You never told me that."  Laurie
whispered.

"Didn't want to jinx it by wanting it too much.  You can never
tell how these things are really going to turn out. I might
have gotten injured, or somebody from this year's team that he
was counting on for next year might have lost eligibility. 
Then, he would have to do something else with the scholarship
he wanted to offer to me."  Jacqui stared up at the moon. 
"Heckuva jinx, though.  Ineligible to accept a scholarship by
reason of suddenly being the wrong gender.  I can't even play
decently anymore.  Cripes, Mom, couldn't you have at least
made me into a tall, athletic female?"  The comment was made
with at least an attempt at humor.  It failed miserably as
gallows humor usually does.

"You are the woman you would have been had you been born a
woman.  You actually are quite athletic, dear.  Unfortunately,
no spell is going to give you the benefit and confidence of
having lived in a body for years.  You have to learn those
things yourself because you have so much to unlearn."

"I know.  It is getting better.  You know? I even tried
binding these puppies," she cupped her breasts in her palms,
"with a rib belt to see if that would help my coordination. 
It helped, but did nothing for the facts that my butt is all
wrong and my muscles are too weak."

"Your butt is beautiful, Missy, and I can tell you from
painful experience, that you are plenty strong for a woman
your age."  

"Right." The tone was more resigned than sardonic. "Anyway,
everything became real today.  Everything that's changed, that
is.  There won't be a basketball scholarship in my future.  If
Jack Donovan ever walks this earth again, he won't be the
person I knew.  It just all hit me at once - nothing is the
same and" a sob broke through again, "and it won't and can't
be the same ever again."

Laurie drew her into her arms and held her as she cried.  "You
are right, dear, but you would have changed, anyway, over
years.  If today somehow, you met yourself as you would have
been four years later, you would not know that person either. 
Change is part of growth, and growth is always change."  Damn,
damn, damn, Laurie thought again.  Why had she done this? 
WHY???  

Because we needed her power and because we thought we knew
what was best, her mind answered.  We still need her power. 
Particularly if Bronwyn is correct about what she thinks is
happening.

Jacqui pushed herself away from her Mother and wiped her eyes. 
"Thanks, Mom.  I needed that.  One thing about being a girl is
that there are times when a good cry helps.  Now, I can let
the tears out without feeling like less than a man."

Laurie struggled up to her feet and reached down to help her
daughter up.  "Well, that's a first.  Something good about
being a woman."  Not exactly something to cheer about as good
things go, but it is the first time she has said anything like
that.  "Come on.  Let's get cleaned up and fix dinner.  After
that beating you just gave me, I am starved. And it is *your*
turn to do dishes, Missy."  The expected groan cheered them
both, and they went into the house, arm in arm.

***********
Lancaster read the report on his desk one more time and then
sat back to reflect on the information.  His covert operations
against the Sisterhood were proceeding but the main goal of
the operation, the name and location of the High Priestess,
were still unknown to him.  So far, they had captured four
Sisters and had put them to the question.  None of them had
revealed what he needed to know before they had died. 
Admittedly, they had not been very powerful women.  Perhaps
they were not important (he equated importance with power)
enough to know what he longed to find out.  Surely, if they
had known the answers he sought, they would have told his
inquisitors to stop the pain.  All four had died horribly. 
That pleased the High Leader.  Unfortunately, all four had
died without telling him what he *had* to know.  That did not
please him.

Perhaps they should take the Donovan woman and her changeling
whelp next.  None of the women he'd taken had children. 
Perhaps he could torture the bitch-boy in front of the Mother. 
He sat there savoring the thought of it, but decided to hold
that as a last resort.  There was something strange about what
was happening with those two and he wanted to understand that. 
Some intuition told him that there was a very powerful weapon
against the Sisterhood in that household if only he could
understand it.  He had two other members of that damnable
order identified on the East Coast.  He would take them next,
and make sure that his inquisitors took greater care to make
their pain. . .more non-lethal.  At least until they told him
what he needed to know.

~-----~

"Hello? Laurie Donovan, here."

"Laurel?  Bronwyn.  Muriel and Katrina have disappeared. 
Neither their contact Sisters nor I can touch their minds.  I
think they have passed over, but no one can find their remains
anywhere."

"That makes, what, three now?"

"No, four.  Four junior sisters have all disappeared without a
trace in the last six months.  All women who had only the
basic teaching in their crafts and all women whose primary
talents in the craft were not martial.  Katrina was an
herbalist and Muriel was an oracle.  I don't like it, Laurel. 
It smells of foul play.  The police won't see a pattern
because they lived in different parts of the country and no
one outside the Sisterhood knows of that connection."

"No one except the Brotherhood."

"That would mean that they are actively searching for Sisters
and then killing them.  That is farther than they have ever
gone before."

"They never perceived us as a direct threat before, dear. 
They always thought they could overwhelm us with their Dark
Power.  Eleanor and Eva changed that mistaken perception
completely during the last major confrontation.  We have to
expect that whoever was left of the Brotherhood after that
figured out what happened and how we facilitated that defeat."

"And now, they are ready to move again, and are trying to make
sure we don't do it again?  Then why go after novices?  Why
not go after the ones with the power to hurt their plans?"

"How would they know who to go after?  Novices are still
fairly recent in their Transformation.  Perhaps they made
mistakes in their behavior, or perhaps something about their
every day activities pointed to their association with the
Sisterhood if someone was looking and knew what to look for. 
I think we need to warn the other Sisters, luv."

"Yes, I agree.  How are we going to protect Jacqui?  She does
not know enough to protect herself and she is not ready to
face the reality of who we are and why we really did this to
her."

"No, she's not.  I am afraid that must be your and my job,
Bronwyn.  It was our decision to Transform her, and it must
then be our responsibility to see that she comes to no harm
over it."

"Well, I guess I can stand Einstein and Newton a while longer. 
I will get the warning out tonight, Laurel.  Be careful, luv." 
The line clicked off.

Laurel sat quietly for a very long time.  War was coming, and
by her own hand, she had put her only child into the middle of
it without her knowledge or her consent.  But then, Mothers
have been sending their sons off to wars for millennia.  They
just did not normally put them into skirts, first.  Someday,
she thought.  Maybe someday she'd be able to forgive herself
for that.

End Part 8. Continued in Part 9


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