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From: "Loch Raveena" <lraveena@hotmail.com>
Subject: New: "Suburbia" 
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"SUBURBIA" by Loch Raveena

Jason was a fine kid, really. He really tried to be nice, tried to work 
hard, but he just never could seem to make that connection
that seems to come so natural to everyone else. His mind would always 
wonder while he worked, and when the boss scowled at him or a teacher 
derided him, he just didn't handle it very well. He would usually 
apologize, then find himself in trouble once again not too far in the 
future. He got tired of apologizing early on, and so he cursed them. 
Bosses fired him, teachers suspended him. The anger in their eyes 
excited Jason, and could taste the blood in his lips as he imagined the 
pointy-nosed teachers becoming so frustrated with him that they smacked 
across his face in an orgasm of uncontrollable rage - like his 
stepfather did. It happened only once, and he ended up blinking in 
confusion as another student held him back. At his feat lie a teacher 
with a pointy nose screaming hysterically through her hand which covered 
her mouth. 

Jason smiled, thinking that he must have punched her in an 
uncontrollable action-reaction, like he had always imagined doing to
his stepfather. He felt bad though, too, because she was a woman and he 
doesn't believe in violence, let alone violence directed at women. He 
vowed not to use violence again. 

That incident was the last straw, of course. His stepfather had had 
enough, and so Jason, because he was 18, was out on the street. He 
didn't know where to go, so he went to Ladonna's house, a girl that he 
liked very much. He never said much to her in school. Rather, he liked 
to just absorb her in whole - her curvy body, her curly blonde hair, her 
incredible smell. When he showed up at her front door, his mouth bruised 
from his stepfather's wrath, Ladonna was intrigued. This strange quiet 
boy that all the popular girls completely ignored or made fun of - but 
secretly admiring him - standing in her front porch with a swollen lip, 
baggy jeans, and a torn t-shirt. His dark brewing eyes always drank her 
in and she loved it. 

He told her that he was stopping by to say goodbye, that he was leaving. 
Where are you going? I - I dunno. You wanna go with me? But where are 
you going? I dunno. Anywhere, I guess. Somewhere, nowhere - who knows? 
Maybe I'll be dead tomorrow - so goodbye, if you're not coming. 

She stood there. This was a strange conversation, but she was getting 
excited. This spontaneity intrigued her. Sure, she said. Let me get my 
purse. 

She came to the door again, and now Jason took her whole body in with 
one long brooding stare. She war jeans and a red and white striped shirt 
that ended at her beautiful midriff, her navel exposed. It was beautiful 
and oval, not deep at all, almost protruding but not quite. She smelled 
like flowers, all different kinds. He imagined what the Garden of Eden 
looked and smelled like when she stood next to him. 

You know we're never coming back, he said, at least I'm not. That's 
okay, she said. If I'm going to run away, guess I'll run away with you. 
You're kinda cute, she said. He blushed, and his heart raced. He smiled. 

They walked down the suburban street that was full of the sounds of 
modern America: dogs barking, sprinklers, radios, the rush of traffic. 
What did you want to do first, he asked? Let's make love, she said, 
chewing gum loudly and removing lint from her belly button. Jason looked 
away and glanced at the busy road that they walked beside. McDonald's, 
Burger Kings, Jiffey Lubes, car horns blaring, gas stations, turn 
signals, radios, traffic lights, billboards, car dealers - but no 
sidewalks. They were walking along the side of the road, in the tall 
weedy grass, the wind of passing cars and trucks ruffling his baggy 
clothes, blowing her hair, coke and beer bottles lying in the grass 
glistening in the sun. Okay, he said. 

They made their way to some trees behind a strip shopping center that 
had a Baskin & Robbins ice scream store, a video store, a pawn shop, and 
a laundromat. It was kind of gritty looking, but from their standpoint - 
walking under the hot sun with all the cars blowing past them, avoiding 
each other with utter abandon - everything looked gritty. Perhaps it was 
because everything was up close. In a car, you really didn't notice. 

They laid down in dead leaves that had fallen from the trees around 
them. They laid there staring up at the trees. The trees were tall and 
thin with branches blending into each other - it looked like the trees 
were huddled together, their arms wrapped around each other, with 
traffic and human activity on all sides of them. Even here, the sound of 
onrushing traffic did not escape their ears. They laid there without 
saying anything for the longest time. It was beautiful, the silence 
between them and the music of activity. Ladonna propped herself up on 
her arm as she rolled over to her side, looking into Jason's eyes. Will 
you make love to me? He stared at her, and he imagined that if he looked 
away right now, that he could still see the exact location of each 
freckle that adorned Ladonna's beautiful,
smooth, angelic face. 

Jason propped himself up, lifting his face toward Ladonna's perfect 
mouth. They kissed, and the noise of the traffic could no longer be 
heard. It was being drowned out by the beating of their hearts, and the 
chirping of birds, and the rustle of the forest as it swayed gently in 
the breeze, until they were transplanted into that Garden of Eden that 
Ladonna's smell had somehow brought to bear. They made love under the 
protection of the trees. Lightning seemed to flash around them, rain 
falling hard on their naked bodies as they joined in love, their eyes 
staring deep into each other's without a single word or moan. When they 
were finished, the sky was clearing, the ground around them steaming, 
water beads dripping from trees above. 

Somehow, they had made it storm, both thought as they laid on their 
backs, silently staring up at the trees, the sun bursting forth with its 
rays flashing in their eyes between the branches as the forest gently 
swayed. 

It was almost dark when Ladonna spoke. Let's rob a store, she said, 
still staring up at the trees. Jason mouthed the words Ladonna had just 
spoken, feeling how the words felt as he rolled silently through each 
one. Yes, he thought, it was the natural thing to do. Ladonna was 
perfect, she knew instinctively where they were going next. He loved 
her. She loved him. Yes, okay. 

Just as the two word thought entered his mind - 'but how?' - Ladonna 
produced a handgun from her little black purse. It was metallic, black, 
and surprisingly large in her little, beautiful, artistic hands. Jason 
reached out to touch it, and his heart picked up a little as he cradled 
it in his hands. A metallic taste filled his mouth as he stared 
mesmerized by the gun. Ladonna smiled, her eyes filling up with 
excitement. Let's do it, she said. Yes, he thought, let's do it. 

They entered the pawn shop, a cheap little bell on the door announcing 
their entry. The pawn shop was the natural choice. It was gritty 
looking, and besides, pawn shops are supposed to be robbed. Jason didn't 
know why, just that it was so. 

A fat, bearded, good 'ole boy stood behind the glass counter that 
displayed guns and watches and walkman radios. The fat man wore a cap 
with a picture of a fish on it, and the word's "Joe's Outdoor Sports" 
written in a generic cursive, fake, and flashy advertisement. 

Um, gimme me yer money, fatso. The bearded man looked at the skinny kid 
in baggy jeans and a torn t-shirt. Huh? The kid produced a gun, pointed 
at the bearded man's beer belly. I said gimme yer money, fatso, or I'll 
pop ya. A smiling teenage girl stood next to the boy, chewing gum with a 
big grin and look of excitement in her eyes. The boy's face was 
impassive, no emotion, just a stare and a gun. Okay, kid, relax, you 
don't want to do this. 

The boy fired his toy weapon, jerking it forward like a gunslinger in a 
Western, aiming it at the glass counter. He missed entirely, the bullet 
striking a shelf enclosed in glass on the wall behind the bearded fella. 
The fact that he missed his target never even
registered with Jason - he was just firing to make a point. He liked how 
it sounded, the pop putting pressure on his ears and the smoke filling 
his nose. But the bearded man noticed, somewhere in the back of his 
mind. 

Okay, kid, I'll do what you want but please don't hurt me. Shaddup, 
fatso, just gimme yer money, and I'll take that boom box behind you 
while yer at it. Ladonna giggled. This was exciting. 

Its under here, I just got to reach for it son. All the money's in a 
shoebox down here, he said as he pointed to a spot behind the counter. 
Make it fast fatso, time's a-wasting. Move yer ass. Ladonna loved it. 

The fat guy reached down, then in slow motion, stood up and began to 
swing a large rifle with a strap on it towards Jason. Jason's eyes grew 
large - he had never seen a rifle up close before, was it loaded? The 
rifle was being brought up to Jason's body when Jason realized he was 
supposed to shoot and of course the guy was going to produce a rifle - 
it was supposed to be this way. Jason squeezed the trigger, again loving 
the popping sound and the pressure it put on his ears. The boom box 
behind fatso exploded. Another pop, and another glass enclosed shelf 
exploded, raining glass onto the floor. 

The rifle was in place and thunder roared into Jason and Ladonna's ears, 
the kind of thunder that cracks as lighting strikes a tree
or object just across the street or a block away. BAM! Jason's ears 
rattled - wow!, he thought, hot burning suddenly engulfing his body on 
the inside from the middle of his frame between his ribs, he felt 
himself shuddering involuntarily as his feet lifted out from beneath him 
and he flew backwards. 

Another BAM! as he landed on his back. He heard an "umph" and saw 
Ladonna go wheeling backwards out of the corner of his eye. He scrambled 
to his feet and ran to Ladonna who lay sprawling on the floor near the 
door, smiling in wild excitement. Jason was smiling too, wrapping his 
arms around and lifting her off the floor as fatso disappeared into a 
room behind behind him. 

Jason could here drawers opening and slamming and he realized he was 
getting ammo for his rifle. Where was my gun? he thought, then thought 
better of it, lifting Jennifer into his arms and carrying her out of the 
store and into the parking lot. 

He walked towards the trees that had welcomed them earlier with Ladonna 
limp in his arms. She had been shot in the upper chest, he noted, as he 
looked down to her as he walked, white hot pain in his belly button and 
his throat, spreading to his thighs. His lower back now exploded in pain 
as it spread and he stumbled, but he remained upright and staggered to 
the trees. Ladonna's body was limp in his arms, her back arched in his 
grip, her head dangling upside down, eyes wide open and staring off into 
nothing. Her legs dangled and her head lolled as he waked until he 
finally found their little Garden of Eden where they had made love. 

He laid her gently in the dead leaves, straightening her head until her 
eyes looked directly into his. Her eyes focused then, and she smiled. I 
love you, they said, then clouded over, her lips beautifully parted. He 
looked into her blue eyes passionately and saw that she had gone over to 
that place that she had introduced him to with her smell and her beauty. 
A thin line of blood ran trickled a corner of her mouth and down her 
pale smooth cheek. He touched it with his finger, then tasted his 
finger. It was salty and lovely. 

His body shook as pain wracked him. He doubled over and vomited blood 
onto a pile of dead leaves. His body quivered, and he began to shiver 
uncontrollably. He painfully removed his shirt and covered Ladonna's 
chest with it. He kissed her dead lips, his dark eyes staring into hers, 
his tongue tasting the salty blood, hers and his. 

He tried to stand up, but wavered as dizziness clouded his head, his 
sight growing dim. He laid down on his back, beside her, and looked up 
at the trees. His body shook and twitched. Ahhggg, he gurgled, blood 
erupting from his open mouth. The wave of pain passed through him. 
This was the way it was supposed to be, he thought, his senses coming 
back in a temporary reprieve. Ladonna was brilliant, and he couldn't 
wait to catch up with her in the garden. He propped himself up on his 
elbows and looked down at his skinny little body, a large whole right in 
his middle section perfectly between his sets of ribs that always showed 
when he went shirtless. His slenderness always embarrassed him, but now 
he liked how he looked, his skinny body lying in the forest, a blue hole 
in his middle, his tiny navel round and very shallow and
dominating his tiny frame. 

He looked over at Ladonna's body, and his sex twitched. She lay 
peacefully, her eyes wide open and staring, her stomach pale and soft, 
her belly button oval with a smooth tied knot not quite protruding from 
her navel. He stroked her cheek. 

Pain wracked through him again and he fell back down on to his back, his 
head reeling. He liked dying. His body convulsed and he vomited more 
blood before he felt his skinny body stiffen then go still. He stared up 
at the trees, tasting the salty blood that rose up from his belly and 
into his mouth, spilling down his cheek. The forest faded into darkness, 
and he heard Ladonna calling his name. 

The police detective stood over the dead bodies. Why?, he thought. Their 
eyes stared up into oblivion, their mouths open. He shook his head. Kids 
today. He watched as the coroners lifted their bodies, placing them on 
stretchers, their eyes still wide open and staring. 

He looked around at the Burger King and the McDonald's and the video 
store and the car lots. This was suburbia. These kids were supposed to 
be nice, like the boys and girls who worked at that Burger King. He just 
didn't understand what was going on in the world today. 

He got into his patrol car, and turned onto the busy highway. He turned 
up the car radio as the traffic stacked up and he had long delay ahead 
of him. "Life is a sport, drink it up!" the advertisement said without a 
hint of sarcasm. It IS a sport - it is supposed to be fun, thought the 
detective, as he looked over at a minivan sitting in the next lane, the 
father's face contorted in anger as his finger waved in front of his 
teenage children sitting in the back. Why don't these kids get it? 

****

lraveena@hotmail.com



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