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From: "jsk123" <jsk123@pdq.net>
Subject: {ASS} Diary of a Mad Housewife
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I received this the other day from a friend of mine...

Enjoy, John K

The following story contains graphic descriptions of various sex acts.
If you are not at least 18, or do not care for this type of literature,
Please depart now.

This work is copyrighted by the author. Under no circumstances may this
story be sold without the authors explicit permission.

I'm not the author, only the poster on this one.


Diary Of A Mad Viagra Housewife
by MGD

Dear Diary:

Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to
celebrate.  When it came time to re-enact our wedding night,
HE locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2
Today he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent,
he says, & he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't
he tell me something I DON'T know! I mean, gimme a break.
He's been dysfunctional for so long, he even WALKS with a limp.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday,
I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market
that will fix his "problem."  It's called Viagra. I told him
that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they
were on our wedding night. He said, "this
time I'd rather not have your mother join us."
(I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with
the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.)

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. (No pun
intended). Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked
me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking
about him. GET OVER YOURSELF! Not everything is about you!

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday,
instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much.
And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with
Hard Cider! The photo of Janet Reno isn't working. What am I gonna do?

Day 11
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is
turning blue. The other day, we were watching Kenneth Branaugh
in Hamlet and he thought it was The Smurfs Do Denmark.

Day 12
I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with
Black and Decker.

Day 13
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and
I keep saying "fabulous" and still he keeps coming after me!

Day 14
Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut
my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with
a scud missle. Let's hope he's like President Bush and pulls out in 100
days.

Day 15
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working.
I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me sister
Wendy revs his motor.

Day 16
I may just have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants
to: stiff.  With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket.





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