Message-ID: <12419eli$9806222120@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12419.txt> From: Lee Vine <santiago@switchboardmail.com> Subject: Rogue Reviews Digest No. 4 - June 22, 1998 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <358E7249.F894755@switchboardmail.com> X-Is-Review: yes RRD No. 4 =========================== DISCLAIMER: (1) IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!! (2) IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DESCRIPTIONS OF NATURAL ACTS WHICH SOME PEOPLE CALL PLEASUREABLE BUT YOU REGARD AS NECESSARY FOR THE PERPETUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!!! (3) IF YOU AREN'T SURE IF EITHER (1) OR (2) APPLY TO YOU THEN STOP READING NOW!!!! =========================== Rogue Reviews Digest No. 4 - June 22, 1998 by Lee Vine Contents Reviews Rogue Review No. 59 [Dyad by Michael K. Smith] Rogue Review No. 60 [Roommates by Munawaruddin Ali] Rogue Review No. 61 [A Little Secret by Bartek Boryczko] Rogue Review No. 62 [Janey's May by Janey] Rogue Review No. 63 [Destinies by Kim] Rogue Review No. 64 [The Jungle Takes A Lot Out Of A Man by Brother Cadfael] Rogue Review No. 65 [Closing Pandora's Box by Stephanie] Rogue Review No. 66 [Laura's Dad by Mat Twassel] Rogue Review No. 67 [Three's A Crowd by Robert Mitchell] Rogue Review No. 68 [Robyn's Nest by Sven the Elder] Note: I send my reviews individually, when I finish them, to the Sex Stories Discussion List. If you are interested in joining there is a form for doing so on my home page. Home Page - http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cafe/3112/ E-Mail - santiago@switchboardmail.com ====== Rogue Review No. 59 - June 16, 1998 Dyad by Michael K. Smith M/F, Teen, Inc Length: 10,300 words Summary Jodie loses her virginity to her father. Commentary This is a well told story. Jodie is the narrator; her descriptions of everyday life are related in a believable fashion. The sex is not overemphasized, but there are plenty of other details. This story is lacking a dilemma. Jodie does not have a very hard time deciding that her father is to be her first. Her father shows a little reluctance, but after exhibiting token signs of restraint, gives in. I prefer a story which has a real dilemma. Another complaint I have is that Jodie monopolizes this story. I suppose that is natural, since she is the narrator, but the overwhelming majority of her narration only gives us insights into what she is thinking. This may not be a valid criticism. I wanted to enjoy this story, but seeing as that I could not find a real dilemma I am looking for other faults in the story. I do think this story is well told. It is worth reading. It reads like I would imagine a teenage girl's diary could read if she had experienced these sort of things. Nothing seems planned out. Things just happen. I was aroused at times, but not overwhelmingly so. This is a nice story, I just wish there had been a little more to it. Judgment This is a good story, but the lack of a binding plot, a dilemma, and better characterization of Jodie's father hurt it. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/639.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 60 - June 18, 1998 Roommates by Munawaruddin Ali M/F/F Length: 3,200 words Summary Anthony loses his virginity to his two beautiful roommates after a few hands of poker. Commentary I have seen this plot before. The characters are transparent. This is a shell of a story. It needs to be edited and rewritten. Occasionally this story got so pathetic it was funny. Plots come and go. An author should try to inject some of herself into what she is writing. With the exception of the pathetic parts, this story felt unoriginal. Judgment This was not a good story, but there were a few chuckles in it. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11865.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 61 - June 18, 1998 A Little Secret by Bartek Boryczko M/F, Teen Length: 4,200 words Summary Josh and his new step-sister, Becky, get to know each other a little better. Commentary I like the tone of this story. The narration, by Josh, is both descriptive and real. He is taken in by his step-sister's beauty, but at the same time is apprehensive about doing anything with her. Becky is not as complete a character as Josh, but she is more than just a body. What plot there was, was very simple. This story could have benefited greatly from some editing. Several of the paragraphs were much too long and should have been broken down into two or more paragraphs. Judgment This is a good story, but if it had been edited better might have been an excellent one. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11945.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 62 - June 19, 1998 Janey's May by Janey F/M Length: 6,900 words Note Read Janey's note at the beginning of this story. A lot of this story may not make sense if you do not know the context. I would be interested to hear from someone who does not know most of the inside jokes and hear what they thought of this story. Summary Sergeant Jane MacDonald is in the hospital after being wounded in action. She meets an intern named Taria, a doctor named BillyG, and thinks about her old unit. Commentary The author tried to do too much in this story. There are parts that work, but over all it seems too crowded. The flashback part of the story is littered with references to many ASSM authors. I found many of the references amusing. The most touching scene was the one with BillyG pleasuring Sgt. MacDonald. At the beginning of the story Janey says that this story came to her in a dream. I believe her. Judgment This is not a good story, but some of the inside jokes were amusing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11983.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 63 - June 19, 1998 Destinies by Kim F/M Length: 5,000 words Summary Hypnotherapy brings out the past lives of a woman and helps her to figure out why she has been biting her nails. Commentary This story is very well paced. It drew me along, I was curious to see how it would end. I enjoyed the descriptions of her past lives. It pleased me that the author was able to use a device, like past lives, without relying on it too heavily. Judgment This is a good story, I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12002.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 64 - June 19, 1998 The Jungle Takes A Lot Out Of A Man by Brother Cadfael M/F Length: 1,000 words Summary Sex in a rain forest. Commentary This is more a description of an encounter than it is a story. I like this description. There is background information given. On reading through it a second time I do wonder what she was doing sitting on his lap in the first place, but that is just me being picky. Judgment This is a good story, I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12013.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 65 - June 19, 1998 Closing Pandora's Box by Stephanie M/F, TG, Transform, NC Length: 6,400 words Summary Alan works for Carl. Carl decides to transform Alan into a beautiful woman. Alan gets the last laugh, after he transforms Carl into a beautiful woman who cannot speak and then transforms himself to look like Carl. Commentary I am always unsure whether the authors of these sorts of stories want or expect their audience to be turned on by the sex. One person raping another is not exciting or arousing. Under the right conditions I can enjoy a transgender transformation story. Those conditions include a plot and some characterization. Just because an author introduces a device, in this case transformation, into a story does not excuse them from including the standard elements that make for a good story. Judgment This was not a good story, but the author did say at the end that this might just be the beginning of a longer work. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12017.txt [Part 1] http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12016.txt [Part 2] ====== Rogue Review No. 66 - June 20, 1998 Laura's Dad by Mat Twassel Exhib? Length: 400 words Summary Mat allows his girlfriend to get him into a rather compromising position. Commentary There has to be more to this story. This was not enough. The cliffhanger ending begs for a sequel. This is more of an episode, than a story. It kept me wondering. The final line is priceless. Judgment This was a good story, but I wish there had been more to it. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12052.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 67 - June 21, 1998 Three's A Crowd by Robert Mitchell Voy, F-solo, F/M/F Length: 3,500 words Summary Erica goes to the beach to read a romance novel and gets sidetracked. Commentary I found this story arousing. The characters are not very deep, and the plot is not too complicated. Erica is a bit hesitant, and that makes the story a little more enjoyable. It is well paced. Judgment This is a good story, but definite stroke material. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12035.txt [Part 1/2] http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12036.txt [Part 2/2] ====== Rogue Review No. 68 - June 21, 1998 Robyn's Nest by Sven the Elder M/F Length: 3,900 words Summary Sven gets left, by his buddy, at a lodge. Robyn keeps him company. Commentary I liked the descriptions in this story. The author does not feel the need to attempt to describe everything, just that which he feels it is his job to describe. It would have been nice if there had been a dilemma in this story. It is a description of a sexual encounter, and not much else. I liked the description, so I liked the story, but it would have been nice if there has been a little more to it. Judgment This is a good story, but definite stroke material. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12057.txt ====== 6/22/98 -- Lee Vine On the internet names are all relative. What are the odds Celeste's real name is Celeste? Kim is generic enough to be anyone in the world. Lee Vine might really be Bubba Shanks of Pittsburgh. We'll never know. Does it matter? -- BitBard (The artist formerly known as Sandman) ________________________________________________________ | | E-Mail - santiago@switchboardmail.com | | Home Page - http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cafe/3112/ |________________________________________________________ -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/>----<http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/faq.html>