Message-ID: <12199eli$9806151507@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12199.txt> From: Lee Vine <santiago@switchboardmail.com> Subject: Rogue Reviews Digest No. 3 - June 15, 1998 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <35854012.E6F7EA3A@switchboardmail.com> X-Is-Review: yes RRD No. 3 =========================== DISCLAIMER: (1) IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!! (2) IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DESCRIPTIONS OF NATURAL ACTS WHICH SOME PEOPLE CALL PLEASUREABLE BUT YOU REGARD AS NECESSARY FOR THE PERPETUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!!! (3) IF YOU AREN'T SURE IF EITHER (1) OR (2) APPLY TO YOU THEN STOP READING NOW!!!! =========================== Rogue Reviews Digest No. 3 - June 15, 1998 by Lee Vine Contents Reviews Rogue Review No. 42 [Christine by ShadowCleric] Rogue Review No. 43 [Milady by LeAnna] Rogue Review No. 44 [Janey's Friend by Janey] Rogue Review No. 45 [Friday by Uther Pendragon] Rogue Review No. 46 [A Yank in the Outhouse by David Shaw] Rogue Review No. 47 [The Swing Man by Chili Peeler] Rogue Review No. 48 [A City Situtation by Watcher] Rogue Review No. 49 [Taxi Tales: Lost and Found by Delta] Rogue Review No. 50 [No Tomorrow by Crimson Dragon] Rogue Review No. 51 [Last Night Together by Inkubus] Rogue Review No. 52 [Gifts by fcp] Rogue Review No. 53 [Wager by Alcibade(?)] Rogue Review No. 54 [Erotic Foolishness by Renae Nicks] Rogue Review No. 55 [A Great Beach Day by Bioya] Rogue Review No. 56 [Every Lollipop Loves A Licking by Erin Halfelven] Rogue Review No. 57 [On Her Leg by LeAnna] Rogue Review No. 58 [Hot Tub Fun! by Michelle] Note 1: I am starting to include story links. Rogue Review No. 53 is the first one to include a link. Note 2: I send my reviews individually, when I finish them, to the Sex Stories Discussion List. If you are interested in joining there is a form for doing so on my home page. Home Page - http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cafe/3112/ E-Mail - santiago@switchboardmail.com ====== Rogue Review No. 42 - June 1, 1998 Christine by ShadowCleric M/F Length: 2,900 words Summary Dave falls for his new boss, Christine. Commentary This was a good effort, for a first draft. The dialogue was good. The dilemma was apparent and there was some tension in this story. The sex scenes were of an appropriate length, just enough to give the reader an idea of what was going on. The characters were well done, although they were more types than they were fully fleshed out individuals. This story read like an outline. It was not well formatted. The scenes were bunched together. My advice to ShadowCleric is to find someone to help him (or her?) in completing this story. Because I write reviews of stories, and not first drafts, I cannot recommend this one. This does not mean that there is nothing good about this story, simply that it needs some work. Judgment This was not a good story, but the plot was well handled, as were the characters. ====== Rogue Review No. 43 - June 2, 1998 Milady by LeAnna F/F Length: 3,300 words Summary Dalara consoles her mistress before her execution. Commentary The descriptions in this story were very rich. The details and the choice of words evoke many images for the reader. Dalara and her mistress are shown to be women who are both capable of emotion and carnal desires. I think this is good because it shows the reader more than one side of them. The descriptions of Dalara's mistress led me to believe that she is a woman of color, i.e. not Caucasian. I did not pick up on any hints as to Dalara's ethnicity. It was nice to see at least one character who was not white. It was also nice to see that it was not a major issue. Diversity enriches us all. This story definitely has some anti-male sentiment, but I did not take it personally. The male characters in this story deserve the ill will they receive. I would like to know more about how Dalara's mistress was feeling, before they got down to business. Maybe Dalara could make observations about her mistress without realizing what it is she is seeing; observations that are telling for the reader but meaningless for her. (Of course maybe she did, and they just went over my head.) Judgment This was an excellent story, but I would like to see some descriptions of Dalara's mistress that reveal more about how she is feeling (before they get naked). ====== Rogue Review No. 44 - June 2, 1998 Janey's Friend by Janey F/F Length: 4,500 words Summary This is a sequel to Phone Sex by Taria. Janey and Taria finally meet face to face. Commentary This is a very soft story. It strokes the reader gently and does not try to arouse any violent or intense feelings. It is about friendship and about self-discovery. It is very well written. I think what I like best about this story is the way in which Janey describes things. She does a good job of letting us see things from her point of view. My favorite sentence is about halfway through the story when Janey sees Taria for the first time: "My heart didn't go pitty pat or anything wimpy like that; it went, 'Ka-BOOM! Ka-BOOM!'" This story was more description then plot. Its a love letter to Taria and it is done beautifully. Judgment This was an outstanding story. I would not change a thing. ====== Rogue Review No. 45 - June 3, 1998 Friday by Uther Pendragon Best Length: 800 words Summary Two people try to shock others by talking loudly about "their" personal problems in public. Commentary This story is fall down funny. Its short and there is not much to it, but it is definitely good for a laugh. It is well written. The dialogue is what makes the story what it is. A discussion of plot or characters would be either unfair to the author or useless for the reader, so I'm not going to bother. This is not really a story, but it is funny. Judgment This was a very good story. I would not change a thing. ====== Rogue Review No. 46 - June 4, 1998 A Yank in the Outhouse by David Shaw M/F/F, Voyeur Length: 8,500 words Summary This story takes place in England during World War II. Sarah is delivering a bottle of wine for the vicar. She gets sidetracked by two English ladies and an American gentleman in a wash house. Commentary This story had a good premise, but I did not care for the execution. The greatest strength of this story was its descriptions of rural England during World War II. There was not much in the way of character development. The characters seemed to be more types then actual people, the narrator included. Possibly if this story had been better edited I would have enjoyed it more. Quite a few of the sentences in this story seemed much too long. It made the story seem rushed. Judgment This was not a good story, but the descriptions of rural England did give it some atmosphere. ====== Rogue Review No. 47 - June 9, 1998 The Swing Man by Chili Peeler M/F, F/F, M/F/F, Inc Length: 40,500 words Summary Jonas has been cheating on his wife, Stella. She finds out. She calls her lawyer and instructs him to start divorce proceedings. Jonas' daughter, Nikki, has a slightly different reaction. Commentary This story tried to do too much. It started in one direction and ended in another. In some cases this works. In this one it did not. The author did not do a good job of bringing the husband-cheating-on- his-wife and father-sleeping-with-his-daughter plot lines together. There was a bit too much sex, for my tastes. A little more plot and characterization would have done wonders for this story. Toward the end the plot and characters began to disintegrate and all that was left was a stroke story. Possibly if the author had not spent so much time describing sex and left a little more to the reader's imagination this story would have worked better. Judgment This was not a good story. I can see the various plot lines working in individual stories, but not in a single one. ====== Rogue Review No. 48 - June 10, 1998 A City Situation by Watcher No Sex Length: 2,700 words Summary On an August afternoon Peter braves the heat and humidity of the city to return Kelly's dress and shoes. Commentary This is the sort of story that leaves a lot to the reader's imagination. Peter's inner dialogue was very well done. The images of buildings and carriage rides were also well crafted. Peter, as a character, was much more fleshed out than Kelly. The author told the story from Peter's perspective, so that is not surprising. It would have been nice if this story had been a little more explicit. Judgment This was a good story, but a few more details would have helped. ====== Rogue Review No. 49 - June 10, 1998 Taxi Tales: Lost and Found by Delta M/F Length: 2,900 words Note This is the third and final(?) story in the Taxi Tales series. They were published in the following order: (1) Lost Fares (2) Missed Connections (3) Lost and Found Summary Dale trades shifts with Stan on the Fourth of July, and finds some good in the world. Commentary This story is not heavy on graphic sex. Most of the descriptions leave quite a bit up to the reader's imagination. The author weaves several threads together, quite adeptly, and makes one story. The quiet, observant nature of the narrator helps to illustrate the various characters. There is not much plot, but this is wonderfully told story. Judgment This was an excellent story, I would not change a thing. ====== Rogue Review No. 50 - June 10, 1998 No Tomorrow by Crimson Dragon F/F Length: 4,700 words Summary Rachel is at the beach, trying to get over breaking up with Mark, when she meets Sara. Commentary I really liked the descriptions in this story. I could feel the water and the sand as they caressed Rachel's body. I could feel Rachel's hesitation as she tried something different. Both Rachel and Sara felt real. They both had emotions and showed some trepidation. There was not much dialogue, but the text more than adequately conveyed how the two women felt. This story was both arousing and somewhat touching. Judgment This was an excellent story, I would not change a thing. ====== Rogue Review No. 51 - June 11, 1998 Last Night Together by Inkubus M/F Length: 3,500 words Summary Dominic has one last night with Byronee, his demonic lover. Commentary I liked the idea behind this story. I really think it could have been done better. There was a plot, but the sex took center stage. The characters were adequate, but nothing impressive. If the sex had not played such a prominent role, in the text of the story, then I might have liked this story. Judgment This was not a good story, but it did have a plot. ====== Rogue Review No. 52 - June 11, 1998 Gifts by fcp M/F Length: 4,800 words Note This is the sequel to Marie's Gift (Rogue Review No. 39). Summary James and Donna expand their repertoire. Commentary I had trouble getting into the mood of this story. It seemed kind of forced. I was not impressed with the dialogue or the characters. The story was too straight forward and did not seem to have a particular feel or any nuances. It seemed too regimented. I only felt a spark or two of life within it, and that was not enough for me. I did enjoy the part where they get caught by George. Judgment This was not a good story. ====== Rogue Review No. 53 - June 12, 1998 Wager by Alcibade(?) M/F, M/M/F Length: 13,900 words Note E. Z. Riter posted this story to ASSM. At that time he said he was not the author and that he did not know who the author was. A few days later in a post to ASSD he said "the author probably is Alcibade". Summary After losing a game of Scrabble to his wife, Peter lets her call the shots for a while. Commentary The first one-third of the story was great. It was tense, suspenseful, and arousing. The characters were not great, but they seemed realistic. The last two-thirds of the story, unfortunately did not measure up. A new character is introduced, William, and boy is he a talker. He drones on and on. Peter's narration leads me to believe that he was not too terribly wild about William either. The author did such a good job with the first one-third of the story. I was shocked by the last two-thirds. The whole mood changed. The change was a horrible choice, in my opinion. Judgment This was not a good story, but the first one-third of it is definitely worth reading. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11623.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 54 - June 13, 1998 Erotic Foolishness by Renae Nicks M/F Length: 5,700 words Summary Renae learns more about sex while spending time with another woman's man. Commentary I liked the way this story was split up. The four parts all worked very well. Both characters in this story felt very real. The sex was not over the top. They practiced safe sex. This is a simple story. There is not much to it, but I liked the author's touch. The characters were likable and the sex was arousing. Judgment This was is an excellent story. I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11718.txt [Parts 1 & 2] http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11719.txt [Parts 3 & 4] ====== Rogue Review No. 55 - June 14, 1998 A Great Beach Day by Bioya F/F Length: 2,300 words Summary Jan goes to the beach to catch some rays; after getting a bad burn a beautiful nurse takes care of her. Commentary I like the way the author gives insights, throughout the story, into how Jan is feeling. She never completely accepts the situation, and yet at the same time she has an understanding of what is going on. I thought Jan was handled very well. There is not much of a plot. It is a simple and straight forward story. The ending is not final or conclusive. It was a nice, light, arousing story. Judgment This is an excellent story. I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11805.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 56 - June 14, 1998 Every Lollipop Loves A Licking by Erin Halfelven F-Solo Length: 1,500 words Summary Ruth prepares for a rendezvous with an old flame. Commentary The plot is simple. The anticipation builds throughout the story. I liked the twist at the end. There is a definite sexual component to this story, but it is not overplayed. All in all this is a nice, fun read. Judgment This is an excellent story. I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11809.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 57 - June 14, 1998 On Her Leg by LeAnna M/F Length: 1,300 words Summary A woman sits in a park and thinks of the badge she wears for her boyfriend. Commentary There is not much to this story, but I liked what there was. LeAnna does a masterful job of switching back and forth between the present and past in such a short story. She breathes life into all the characters, even the minor ones. The ending was delightful. It was not what I expected. Judgment This is an outstanding story. I would not change a thing. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11540.txt ====== Rogue Review No. 58 - June 14, 1998 Hot Tub Fun! by Michelle M/F/M, Teen Length: 2,800 words Summary A twenty-something couple, a sixteen-year-old boy, and a hot tub. Commentary This story was different. Seeing two men going at it, without one dressing as a woman, was a switch. For all the F/F and M/F/F stories out there, it is nice to see one that is willing to go the other route. The characters were average. The plot was pretty straight forward. There was no twist at the end. This story worked for me, because it was different. I do have a problem with the blocking in this story. I do not think it was necessary. It ends up being a tangle of directions. There are plenty of good stories that leave body positioning up to the reader's imagination. [Definition: Blocking - "to work out or chart the movements of (as stage performers)" (WWWebster Dictionary). Note: do not think it is a commonly used term except on the stage or in writing. I did not know that definition of the word 'blocking' until I took an acting class several years ago.] Judgment This is a good story, but the blocking does get in the way. Link(s) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11810.txt ====== 6/15/98 ________________________________________________________ | | E-Mail - santiago@switchboardmail.com | | Home Page - http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cafe/3112/ |________________________________________________________ -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/>----<http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/faq.html>