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From: Past His Prime <phprime@yahoo.com>
Subject: RAPIST'S LAMENT (No explicit sex)
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RAPIST'S LAMENT (no explicit sex)
By PH Prime
"She screamed when I took her. A terrible sound. But I didn't care.
God, what a body she had! She tempted me with it, flaunted it in front
of my eyes. Well, I had to take her. I had too! But her screaming!" 
He looked at the speaker, a bald-headed, misshapen form of manhood. He
knew the type by heart — a loser. He'd always been surrounded by
losers. This wretch hadn't stopped babbling since they brought him in,
early that day. 
"She pleaded with me. No, don't, please! You're hurting me! Well, how
did she think I felt all those times she'd parade in front of me in
her skimpy underthings. Taunting me! No, it was too late for pleas of
mercy. I was too wound up. I had to have her! But I hadn't counted on
the screaming. God, I didn't know she could scream so much! There she
goes again! Asking me to stop! Tell her I can't stop, will you? I did
stop. I didn't mean it. Honest. If I knew it would end this way, I
wouldn't have let it start.
"She lorded it over me, you know. She knew what her sexy walk was
doing to me, bending in front of me and showing me her tight little
ass in the silk panties. Daring me to touch, to feel. Day after day,
until it became too much. I couldn't take any more. Jesus, I got so
annoyed that I took her. Took her by force! I had to teach her, you
see. You do understand?" 
His head was reeling. This conversation kept going around and around
in his head. The justification for the action. The talking, talking,
talking giving him a splitting headache. But the drone kept on and on
and on — steady and endless, on and on.
"If only she hadn't tried to scratch my eyes out. That's what she did.
I had her down. I could feel her silky breasts on my chest, I could
taste her hot breath on my mouth and then she tried to scratch me!
That's when I got mad. That's when I decided to fix her. Fix her but
good!" 
It can't be happening, he thought. It is just a dream. Close your eyes
and it will go away. But no, there it is. A singular drone that slices
through the mind's barrier. That drone again. Steady as a clock ... on
and on ... endless. Please! Somebody, turn it off! Please!
"I hit her hard. That's what I did. And I took her panty hose — you
tired or something? I mean, you have your eyes closed — yeah, well,  I
took her panty hose and ripped it in two and tied her hands behind her
with one half. She struggled but I sort of liked it, the feel of her
soft body against mine. It made me more determined to have her. I tore
off what was left of her dress. She was naked now but still fighting
me. She was screaming, calling me bad names. But I kept doing what I
had to do. I was on fire now. I couldn't stop. But when I entered her,
she started pleading with me to stop. Screaming at me to stop. Like
she is doing now! Tell her I have stopped! Tell her. Tell her I was
afraid her screaming would get us in trouble, that's why I put the
other part of the panty hose around her neck. I told her to be quiet
but her mouth kept spewing out sounds like a siren, calling for help. 
I tightened it around her skinny neck —  amazing that such a small
neck could hold such a large voice box."
Oh God, won't somebody turn off the talking? he asked. Steady talking
now for — let's see — Oh God, it seemed like forever. And still his
voice droned on and on. Steady as clockwork: on and on. Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop! he shrieked. 
But he could not break the droning.
"She kept screaming even though her eyes began bugging and her face
turned purple. She was flopping around and I was riding her and I
couldn't stop myself. I felt the explosion coming. Then, she slumped
over and was still.  Peace! Peace at last, I thought. But then she
started screaming again. Even after she was gone and they brought me
here, her screaming continued.  Like now. Please, somebody, make her
stop!"
Then give me peace, his soul begged as the sound crashed against his
ears as the pounding seas crash against the rocks.
"But she won't stop sccreaming. Even now I still hear her. She keeps
asking, 'Why did you do that to me?' As if she didn't remember all the
temptations she put in my path. She knew. She knows so please tell her
to shut up." 
His eyes focused on the wretched being facing him. My God! He could be
taken for my twin, he thought. And still the drone kept on and on. Not
making sense now, though never making sense, yet going on and on and
on. Steady as a clock, Almost like a water torture: drip, drip, drip.
Only this was an endless babbling in his ears, throbbing in his
temples until his whole body ached with the pain. 
"I thought death would stop her but no. She kept on. Her mouth refused
to stop, I can see it now. I can hear it now! And out the words
tumble, one after another, accusing me. I 
didn't mean to kill her! Do you hear me? I didn't mean to kill her. I
only wanted to love her. I told them that, but they wouldn't listen to
me. They hear her screaming and accusing me. That's who they hear.
They won't listen to me.
"Poor me! Here I am, not even able to get away from her voice. If I
stop talking, know what happens? She starts. On and on she'll go.
Accusing me. That's why I can't stop talking." 
Oh, God, why me? Why must I bear the burden of this man's guilt? Spare
me the details! Turn off his voice. Please, please stop, I can't stand
any more. Please stop. Please! Please! Please! 
I'll kill him if someone doesn't stop him. Stop! Stop! Stop! 
"Here she is again. She's threatening. Stop talking. I didn't do it.
Don't accuse me. Listen to me! Stop, stop, I implore you to stop. Stop
mouth! Shut up mouth! I'll kill you, mouth! Mouth! Mouth!" 
Silence — what was it like? What is it like to sink into the deep
depts of your mind, where only your own peaceful thoughts can
penetrate? Desist, foul mouth, with your senseless 
babble. Yes, that's right, be firm, Stop it now. Silence!  Quiet! But
the voice interrupted and droned on and on. 
"I can't stand it any more. I'm going crazy, Talk, talk, talk. I can't
take it any more. Shut her mouth. Please stop her talking. I order you
to stop talking!"
It's got to stop, he agreed, looking at the man's throat, pale under a
red face but soft and inviting. I'll kill him, he thought. Wrap this
shirt around his neck. 
Ah, there is peace, coming slowly in the darkness ... quietness is
settling over the room. 
At last, real peace.
——————————
The doctor looked down at the body, before they wheeled it away. The
forty-year old man looked at rest now. He had been brought in for
questioning in the rape-murder of his wife's stepdaughter. He denied
killing the voluptous woman.
So they left him here in the interview room by himself. He had been
looking at himself in the mirror when he must have taken off his shirt
and strangled himself, the doctor thought as they took the body away. 




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