Message-ID: <12040eli$9806101102@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
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From: dez187lm@hotmail.com (H.D. Meister)
Subject: {ASSM} Story: Always - always.txt [1/1]
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Greetings from the edge dear reader. Again... if you are not at least
18 or live in a community where adult material is not wanted, DO NOT
READ THIS! Post freely and archive if you desire. Critique as you see
fit. All I ask is that you do not make a profit from my work and give
the author all due credit.
--
Know you this:
I am all I am.
Nothing more...
never less.
Live or die, i do not
care.
So long as another
sees and knows
and learns,
then I am at peace.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always
By: H.D. Meister
(dez187lm@hotmail.com)
Is this what you want? Is this the vision that satisfies you when you
go to sleep at night? Is it!! Tell me!! How long must I reside
within the darkened corners of your dreams? Forever? More?
And to think I once wanted to sleep with you. Once I wanted to hold
you in my arms and kiss your lips. Once I would have slaughtered
millions just for the chance to disrobe your body. I look upon those
times with the wizened eyes of the scorned. Your smile and words have
destroyed anything which could have been called human. Now I am
nothing more than an animal wander this plane of existence.
Yet I am also a man. I have honor. I uttered an oath to you, and I
can't go back on that word. Doing so would make me that which you
claim exists. And I am not an animal. I an a Man. I have honor. I
have feelings.
But you don't see that. All you see is someone to call when no one
else is available. You use me as you see fit, and I seem to always
allow it. You don't see the dark bile which churns within my stomach.
You don't know or care that I may love you. All you see is a tool.
You are blind. And I accept this.
I still care for you. When I hear word that you are fucking this one
and that one, I worry. I wonder if you make them use a condom. I
worry that smooth lines and slick word will worm their way past what
little common sense you still cling to. How long before Death comes
calling for you? Will it be a bullet from those who do not like the
practices of the drug dealer you fuck? Or will AIDS speak your name,
damning you to a finite existence alone and shunned? I worry about
these things. Many say that I shouldn't; they say that I am the
fool. Maybe they are right.
But I gave my word. I swore by my grandfather's grave that I would be
there if you needed, and I have never betrayed that vow. If I die,
let be as a man of honor. Let my death ring out the message of honor
and faithfulness, not sing the sad sounds of a blind fool.
Yes, I think of you. When you take that pull from that pipe packed
full of weed, I know that your cunt will soon feel the Universe swarm
around it. I know it will hunger to be fed, and I know that you will
seek to feed it. I also know of that false honor you own. Sleep only
with those you want unless you are dating someone. I know the pain
that you deny within your own heart. I care, and it may well be the
death of me. But I could not imagine a more honorable death than that
which is honorable. And I will always be here, no matter how much
pain I feel.
And you will continue to use me as you see fit. You will continue to
laugh and smile with me as I speak about the happenings around us.
Your eyes will always see the dark shadows of mankind, and will never
know the depths of your own soul. I will dram of the day when I shall
lie naked beside you and kiss your neck softly. I will continue to
hope that your blindness may be cured. If not by me then by another.
I will watch you search for love within the black shadows of humanity.
I will continue to worry when you speak of fucking this one or that
one.
AND I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE.
(dez187lm@hotmail.com)
--
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