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From: tikij@hotmail.com
Subject: My Life - In a Nutshell Chapters 5&6 (No sex)
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Hey y'all-

Here are chapters five and six of My Life - In a Nutshell (the story formerly
known as sports bra).  As you can see by the tag line, there is no sex in this
story (I'm not even going to put in a disclaimer!).  It's all just set up for
future chapters.  I hadn't intended on going this long without including some
of the good stuff, but I just went and couldn't stop.  After reading it, it
kind of has a surrealistic quality in places... Hmmm...  Anyway, don't say I
didn't warn you -- there is no sex in this post.  Next week, though, there
will be action.

Send comments (always appreciated -- let me know how I am doing, or where you
think I should go -- suggestions are good, just make sure they are within
character of the characters (boy that was an awkward series of words)).

I've got to get some sleep.

Tiki J.

PS- sorry, but one more thing -- if anyone has a slot on their website they
would be willing to give up so I can post this story and it's future chapters,
let me know -- tikij@hotmail.com


************************************************************************
CHAPTER FIVE - GOIN’ TO KANSAS CITY



"So how do your parents like Vegas?"

"Okay, I guess.  They’re still getting used to the heat."

"Now, they moved out there your sophomore year, right?"

"Yeah."

"You visit them often?"

"Oh yeah.  Play way too much blackjack."

"Right on."

"We should meet there sometime.  We’ll have a place to stay."

"Yeah.  I’ll see if I can get some time off.  When’s a good time to come?"

"Probably like in September or October.  It cools off a bit by then, and all
the tourists are gone."

"Cool."

The waitress walked up, and placed a plate in front of each of us.

"Ketchup?" she asked.

"No thanks," I responded.

"I’ll take some," said Devon.

I bit into the massive burger, sauce dribbling down my chin.  I wiped it out
of the hairs of my goatee.

"You’re stylin’ with that goatee," said Devon, pointing with a pickle.

"Serena doesn’t like the facial hair," I said.  "Now’s my only chance."

Devon chuckled.  "You’re whipped, dude."

"Yeah…  I need to call her…"

Devon glanced over his shoulder.  "Hey, check it out.  There’s a phone booth
out there.  Do all these greasy diners have phone booths in the parking lot
like that?"  He once again pointed with his now half-eaten pickle.

I snickered.  The waitress looked in our direction.

"I think she just gave you the stink-eye, Dev.  You shouldn’t use such
derogatory language when referring to greasy diners."

"Shit…"

I took another bite.

"Looks like a good storm building up," said Devon, pointing with the pickle
once again.  It dripped on the floor.

"Dude.  Quit using the pickle as a pointer."

"What?  You got a problem with my pickle?"  Devon said, a little too loud.

The waitress looked towards us again.

"Oh, you really got it this time," I said, chuckling.

"Excuse me?"  Devon leaned slightly over the counter.  "Could I get another
pickle, please?"

The waitress came over with a jar, opened it, and pulled one out.

"Thank you," said Devon with a fake smile.

Taking the pickle, Devon began to gesture out the window of the diner and
babble about cold fronts.  I looked down and grabbed a french fry.

"Oh shit!" Devon suddenly jumped from his stool.

"What?!"

"A radar truck and a convoy of minivans are going by!" He said, peering out
the front window.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw the last of a number of matching black
Plymouth minivans pass in front of the diner.

"Let’s go," I said, tossing a twenty on the counter.

Devon was already halfway out the door as I picked up a couple of more fries
and got up from my stool.

"Keep the change," I yelled to the waitress behind the counter as I raced out
the door.


******


"Where are you?" I asked.

"Somewhere in northern Oklahoma.  We’re joining up with a group of researchers
from K-State and the National Weather Service."

"K-State?"

"Kansas State University."

"Oh.  So, they’re letting you follow them around?"

"Yeah, we saw them pass by a place we were eating at, and we caught up with
them.  They’ve got all kinds of radar and stuff.  Right now, we’re headed
north towards a pretty good looking storm."

"Well, be careful, Cal."

"Okay, I’ll call you tonight."

"Alright.  Love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone, then walked back into the bedroom.  Flopping on the bed,
I leaned over and grabbed the book I had been reading.


******


I opened the door to the phone booth and jogged across the truck stop parking
lot.  A cold wind was blowing in from the north, where a massive storm was
forming.

"The temperature’s dropped about 15 degrees," said one of the K-State guys,
consulting a laptop computer.

"What’s the windspeed?" asked Devon.

"About 40 miles per hour."

"We ready?" I asked.

"Yep.  Let’s roll," said Devon.

We walked over to the Bronco.  Devon climbed over the tailgate.

"I’m gonna set up the tripod now," he said.

"Good idea.  I’ll plug in the computer."

After setting up the tripod and retrieving the camcorder from the large
metal truck-bed box, Devon wriggled his way back into the cab.

"I’m glad you convinced me about this Bronco idea," he said, getting in the
passenger seat.  "I never realized just how convenient this would be."

"I just wasn’t expecting to spend that much for the damn thing," I said,
motioning to the fiberglass door assembly that separated the cab of the Bronco
from where the back seat used to reside.  "Hundred bucks for that, then
another hundred for the box."

"Well, you can’t exactly leave all of our stuff back there to get hailed on…"


******


Another flash of lightning illuminated the room.  A crash of thunder followed
several seconds later.  The light patter of the rain on the window had turned
into a full-fledged roar.  I peeked through the slats of the window blind.
The tree in front of the building was lit up by another lightning bolt.  I
settled back into the bed and wished Cal was here to keep me warm.

The phone rang.  I picked it up after the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey kiddo."

"Hi," I said, with a note of relief in my voice.  "You’re missing out on quite
a storm here, bucko.  I need someone to protect me."

"You don’t even know."

"About what?"

"About storms," Cal continued.  I noticed he was slightly out of breath.

"What does that mean?  Did you guys see a tornado today?"  I asked, getting
excited.

"Holy shit.  I’ve got to sit down."

"Okay…"

"I saw the most amazing thing today.  I mean, I’ve heard about it and seen it
on TV and stuff, but I never thought I’d see it in person."

"What?" I said, impatiently.

"Hold on.  Damn.  We just got here.  I’m at a truck stop south of Topeka.  We
just got out of the storm like 15 minutes ago.  The Bronco’s all trashed.  We
got some serious hail damage.  I’m glad I didn’t buy anything expensive."

"Does it still run?"

"Oh yeah, it’s only dents and stuff, but anyway.  They were the size of
baseballs."

"You’re kidding."

"No.  We got some great pictures with the video camera.  I hope my film will
come out, though.  It was kind of dark when it hit."

"When did this happen?"

"About 6:00.  We met up with the K-State people at about 1:30, and followed
them north into this massive storm.  We didn’t see much, and it looked like we
weren’t going to see anything, so we stopped somewhere to get something to eat
around 5:30.  Anyway, there’s about twelve of us, and we’re all in this
Denny’s by the freeway when one of the guys literally jumps up out of his seat
and points."

"Yeah…"

"Well, we all look, and there’s a whole shitload of cars parked under the
freeway overpass.  It was starting to hail.  So Dev and I headed out to the
Bronco to grab the videocamera and stuff, and all the K-State guys were
freaking out about the radar unit.  They jumped into the radar truck and moved
it under a gas station canopy, and we all gathered under it.  I’m taking
pictures and Dev’s using the videocamera when someone asks, ‘what’s that
sound?’  We all got quiet, then the wind shifted and we could hear it
clearly."

"What was it?"

"A tornado siren.  This woman starts screaming at us from the Denny’s to come
inside.  The K-State guys want to start up the radar, but no one knows where
the damn thing is, so we all took off across the parking lot.  About this
time, the hail really started to come down.  I’ve got bruises all up and down
my back from the stuff.  By the time we got to the front door at Denny’s,
they’re about the size of golf balls, and they’re starting to shred the gas
station canopy."

"Oh my god."

"We're hanging out under the front porch of the Denny's and this woman keeps
screaming at us to come into their shelter, but we were all looking for the
tornado."

"Jesus, Cal, you’re gonna get killed."

"All the lights went out, and it was pitch black.  The siren went off,
but we weren’t sure if it was because the power was out, or what, so we
decided to go inside.  They crammed everybody into a meat locker, and we hung
out in the dark in there for about 15 minutes before we decided to go check
things out.  Anyway, we went back outside, and there was blue sky off to the
west, and the sun had started to come out, but the thing was, the ground was
covered by hail – it looked like it had snowed – and there were some the size
of baseballs."

"Wow.  Did the radar truck survive?"

"Yeah.  The canopy kept most of it away, but the trim on it got all torn off.
All the cars in the lot were smashed up.  Some people’s windows were smashed,
but ours survived."

"That’s good."

"I think it’s because the windshield is almost straight up and down.  That
thing has the aerodynamics of a barn.  So anyway, we took a bunch of pictures,
and then took off after the storm."

"Why?  Do you have a death wish or something?"

"No.  I just want to see a tornado."

"Crazy…"

"Anyway, we were driving east, and we could see some trees down in the
distance.  It was way across this field.  Finally, we found a road that took
us toward the trees, and we came up to this part of the road that was
completely stripped of pavement."

"So?  Road construction?"

"No.  That’s where the tornado went through."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  There was a path through the field, and it took a bunch of trees,
passed over the road, and went down a hill through some more fields."

"It didn’t get any houses or anything?"

"We didn’t see any.  We drove around and took some pictures, I think we got
most of the path, and we didn’t see any other damage."

"Wow."

"Yeah, so that’s what I did today.  Anything exciting happen back home?"


******


"Dude!  That one’s gone!"

"Man, it’s coming right at us!"  I stood up and glanced around.  Most of the
bleacher bums were headed our way. I climbed up onto my seat and jumped.
"Shit…"  I fell over backwards as the ball came within mere inches my
outstretched fingers.  Two rows back, a burly man wearing a Chiefs t-shirt
caught me.

"Almost," he said.

I looked to my left to see the proud owner of a Ken Griffey-delivered home run
ball.  He was about six.

"Nice catch," I said, rubbing his head, "to both of you," I turned to the man
in the Chiefs shirt.

"Not a problem."

"Damn," I said, returning to my seat. "Almost had it."

Taking a sip of his beer, Devon nodded his head.  The crowd settled back in,
the home team now down by six.

"I think we’re a jinx," he said.



******



I flopped down on the couch.  "Damn.  I need some sleep."

"I feel ya, man.  I could sleep for a week," said Devon.  He reached for the
remote and turned on the TV.  "So, how do you like the place?" he asked,
waving the remote like a pointer.

"Nice.  I especially like the entertainment center." I said, referring to the
massive wall unit that contained a 32 inch television and a myriad of stereo
equipment.  The phone rang.

Devon answered.  "Hello?"

"Just got back this morning.  We went and watched a Royals game.  Not tonight.
 We’re beat.  Tomorrow?  Let me ask."

"You want to go to a party tomorrow?" he asked.

"Who is it?"

"Jennifer."

"Jennifer Grant?"

Devon nodded.

"Sure," I said enthusiastically.  Jennifer Grant was the hottest girl that had
ever shown any interest in me.  Unfortunately, I left for college before
anything could happen.

"Okay, we’ll be there," Devon said into the phone.  "Later."

"Jennifer Grant.  Excellent," I said, doing my best Montgomery Burns.

Devon grinned.  "Anything happen between you two?"

"No.  I wish."

"I think I would have skipped college for her.  Go to Longview or something."

"Yeah, well you think with the wrong part of your anatomy."

"So?  She’s hot."

"Yeah…" I sighed.




************************************************************************
CHAPTER 6 - MY HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART - ALMOST




"Cal!"  Jennifer screamed, running at me.  "It’s been so long!"  She crashed
into me, giving me a bear hug.  "How the hell are you?"

"Good.  You?"

"I’m great.  Why don’t you ever call or anything?  A postcard, even?  It’s
been like three years."

"Sorry.  I’ve been busy,"  I said, almost as a question.

"Bullshit – busy.  I went to college, too.  You had time."

"You’re right.  I don’t know… no good excuses come to mind."

"Whatever happened with us?"

"There was an ‘us’?"

"No, but there should have been.  You’re so damn dense.  Anyway.  Look at you!
 You’ve put on some pounds," she said, pinching my side.  "Quality pounds,
too.  You used to be so skinny.  Have you gotten taller, too?"

"No.  Don’t think so at least.  Still 5 foot 12 and a half," I said with a
smile.  "I did gain about 30 pounds since I last saw you, though."

"Damn.  You eat all day, or what?"

"No, I’m on a liquid diet," I said, raising my beer bottle.

"Ahh… So what are you up to now?  225?"

"Please.  About 190.  How about you?" I asked, poking her stomach.

She lifted her t-shirt to reveal a flat, tanned stomach. "115.  Haven’t gained
a pound since you left."

"What, have you been keeping track until you saw me again?"

"I have to stay looking good for you, hot stuff."

Devon came up, a short brunette in tow.

"You remember Mia, don’t you?"

I snapped my fingers, trying to remember.  Finally, I had to admit I couldn’t
place her. "You do look familiar, though," extending my hand to her.  "Did you
work at Hy-Vee?" I asked, referring to the local grocery store.

"Yeah, in the video department," she said, shaking my hand.

"That’s it," I said as an image popped into my head.  "Patriot Games."

"Yeah," Mia said, a knowing smile spreading across her face.

"Are we missing something here?" Devon asked.  Jennifer raised her eyebrows.

"I went in one night to rent a movie.  I ended up getting Patriot Games.  When
I got home and popped the tape in, I realized that there had been some kind of
mistake."

"Yeah…" prodded Jennifer.

"He calls me up," said Mia, continuing for me. "I just rented Patriot Games
from you guys, he says.  Then there’s this silence for a few seconds."

"I had left the tape playing while I called the store, and when I turned
around, the ‘action’ had started," I continued.

"I hear this kind of gasp or something, then he says, ‘oh my god.’  He was
kind of freaking me out by then, so I asked him what was up."

"She was talking to me for a minute, but I didn’t even notice.  I was too busy
watching the tape."

"Finally, after like 30 seconds of silence, he says, ‘you’ve rented me a
porno.’"

Devon snickered.  Jennifer was getting impatient.  "Well?"

"I said, ‘you got Patriot Games, right?’  He said, yeah.  I told him I was
planning on taking a copy home after I got off work, so I could bring it over
or something."

"Bold move on your part.  You didn’t even know him," said Devon.

"I did, kind of.  He used to rent quite often.  I noticed we had the same
taste in movies, and he’s a cute guy.  Besides, I’d seen him at school and
stuff, so he wasn’t like a complete stranger.  Anyway, he’s like, no don’t
bother, that’s too much trouble."

"She says, ‘no I’ve got nothing else to do.’  I was too out of it
to notice she was trying to hit on me or something," I said, laughing.

"I told him I would be over in twenty minutes.  He didn’t argue, so I looked
up his address on the computer and left early."

"She shows up on my doorstep five minutes later."

"It wasn’t *that* fast."

"Oh, *it was*.  Anyway, she’s standing there, still wearing her blue Hy-Vee
apron and everything, and she says, ‘I forgot Patriot Games.’"

"I was in a hurry."

"I was disappointed."


******


"Come in," I said.  Thank god my parents aren’t home, I thought.  I don’t need
the third degree about this strange girl I was inviting in.  I chuckled to
myself.  I’m not sure if I could answer them.

She came in, and we stood in uncomfortable silence for a moment in the
entryway.

"We haven’t been formally introduced," I said, breaking the quiet.  "I’m Cal."

"Mia."

"Yeah.  You have the nametag…"

"You’re on the computer," she said.

*Idiot*, I thought to myself.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" I asked.

She stood motionless for a moment with a strange look on her face.  She didn’t
respond.

"Oh.  Not the one you rented me," I said with a nervous smile.

"Oh.  Okay," said Mia, quietly.

"We’ve got a bunch of older stuff," I said, leading her into the living room.

"I think I’d better go."

"Why," I said a little too eagerly.  "No one’s home, we could stay up all
night."

She smiled.

*Damnit.  Now she’s going to think I want to rape her or something.  Idiot!*
I berated myself for my lack of experience with women.

"Okay.  It’s Saturday night.  What else do I have to do?  You want me to go
get something to eat?  I could go get a movie – a new release – I get them
free."

"See if there’s anything you like in here, and let me know.  I’ve got plenty
to eat here," I said as I walked into the kitchen.  "Dr. Pepper?"  I asked,
holding up a two-liter.

"Sure.  Oh my god, you have a great collection.  Are these yours?"

"Some of them.  They’re mostly my parents’ though."

"What’s ‘Ocean’s Eleven’?"

"Don’t know.  It’s one of my parents’.  Never seen it.  I think it has Frank
Sinatra in it, though."

"Let’s watch that, it sounds interesting," said Mia, reading the box, "if it
sucks, we can always watch something else."

"Okay," I said, returning with a bag of chips and two glasses of Dr. Pepper.
"You like ranch dip?"

"Sure."

I popped the movie into the VCR, then went to the kitchen, where I got the dip
out of the fridge.  "Are you at all hungry?  I could make something."

"No, that’s okay, I had pizza on my break.  That was only a couple of hours
ago," she said, consulting her watch.

We flopped down on opposite ends of the couch and fell into silence as the
movie started.

I leaned forward to dip a chip, bumping into Mia in the process.  "Go ahead,"
I said, "ladies first."

"Why thank you.  What a gentleman," she said with a grin.

We leaned back into the couch, a little closer this time.  We repeated this,
until eventually, her head was on my shoulder.  The closing credits began to
roll.  She sighed.

"I hope my parents went to bed without waiting up,"  she said.

"Geez.  Do you want to call them, or something?"

"No, that’s okay.  They probably won’t miss me.  I’m sure they went to bed.
They always do when I work the late shift."

"It’s 12:30.  Would you like to watch something else, or do you have to go?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Mia asked, elbowing me in the ribs.

"No.  Just asking," I said, rubbing my side.

"Let’s watch something else," she said, getting up, "I’ll pick."

I sat patiently on the couch while she crouched in front of the movie rack.

"Can I look through your wallet?"  I asked, noticing a fat leather wallet on
the coffee table.

"Yeah, just as long as you don’t look at my driver’s license picture."

That was an automatic invitation.  "You shouldn’t have said anything," I said,
pulling her license out of its plastic sleeve.

"Cal," she said, sounding like my mother.

I held up the license to the light coming off the TV.  Jennifer Mia Collins.

"You go by your middle name?"

"Yeah.  There’s so many Jennifers."

I nodded my head.  Height: 5’ 4".

"Don’t look at my weight.  That was three months ago.  I’ve lost some."

Date of Birth: 1/24/77

"You’re only 16?" I asked.

"Yeah. Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Um, yeah."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"Old fogey."

"Hey.  I’m graduating this year, at least."

"Lucky you.  Going to college?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Somewhere west."

"What, don’t you like Missouri?" she asked sarcastically.

"Uh…"

She put the movie in.  I put her license back in her wallet and reached for
the remote.

"What are we watching?"

"Patriot Games," she said with a smirk as she leaned into me on the couch.

The movie stopped where I had stopped it.  Three rather muscular, well-hung
men were frantically trying to stuff as many of one woman’s holes as possible.
 Mia gasped.

"Wow.  I had no idea."

"Yeah," I breathed.

"This is my first porno," she said.

"Mine, too."

We watched in stunned silence for the next ten minutes as a variety of men
gang-banged the lone woman.  At that point, the picture disappeared into a
field of snow.  I fast forwarded through several minutes until the picture
returned.

"Whew," said Mia.

Just as she spoke, the picture became fuzzy once again, although this time,
the picture was still slightly visible.

"Damn.  Now we know why they returned this instead of Patriot Games," I said,
"they’ve got a new movie for free, and got rid of an old crappy one."

"Patriot Games doesn’t have hard core sex in it, though."

"True," I said with a chuckle.

I yawned, stretching my hands over my head.  Mia pulled one arm down over her
shoulders.  She snuggled in closer to my body.

"You’re so nice and warm."

I hugged her.

The tape stopped and began rewinding.  The whirr of the VCR was enough to wake
me.

"Mia," I said, shaking her slightly.

"Wha… what time is it?"

"2:20."

"Shit.  I’ve got to go."

"Stay."

"What?"

"Stay here with me.  My parents won’t be home till tomorrow afternoon."

"Where are they?"

"It’s their anniversary, they got a room and buffet package at one
of the hotels downtown."

"Oh.  Okay.  My parents go to church tomorrow at 9:00, so make sure you wake
me in time to get home while they’re gone."

"Okay," I said.  "Mia?  Wake up.  Let’s go up to my room.  Just in case my
parents get home early or something."

"Alright," she said, her willpower sapped by sleep deprivation.

We climbed the stairs to my room and walked in.

"Cool room."

"Thanks."

"Did this used to be an attic or something?" Mia asked, looking at the low,
sloping ceilings.

"No, it’s just the space above the garage.  My dad and I finished it."

"Cool.  Do you have anything I can wear?  I don’t want to wrinkle my clothes."

"Sure." I lead her to my dresser and opened a couple of drawers. "Take your
pick.  There’s sweats and shorts in there and t-shirts in this one.  The
bathroom’s down the hall and to the left."

I walked to the window and closed the blind.  Mia grabbed something out of the
drawer and padded quietly down the hall.  Quickly, I stripped off my jeans and
shirt and grabbed an old pair of sweats and a Blades t-shirt.  The toilet
flushed and Mia walked back into the room.  She was wearing only a white
t-shirt.  Only the fact that it was one of my shirts helped it cover the
important parts.  She climbed into the far side of my bed without saying a
word.  I walked over to the wall and flipped off the light switch.

"Hurry up," she mumbled from the darkness, "I need you to keep me warm."

I climbed in and wrapped my arm around her stomach.  She squeezed my hand.

"Thanks for having me over."


******


"Do you want me to keep going?"  I asked.

Mia looked a little uncomfortable.  Devon wrapped his arm around her shoulders
and looked down at her.  Jennifer had an expectant look in her eyes.

"Well?" the three of us asked in unison.

"I’ll tell it.  You’ll make it sound bad," said Mia, sticking her tongue out
at me.


************************************************************************
CHAPTER 7 - THAT’S JUST MY LUCK









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