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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 283- May 26
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Celestial Reviews 283 - May 26, 1998
Note: Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.
Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck
inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said. "What's our world
comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such places?"
A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and quietly
slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed. "Why, 'tis no
wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with the example clergymen
set for them."
After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly entered
the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning on his shovel.
"One of th' poor lasses must be ill."
Second note: Twin brothers were named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an
old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that
Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street.
Mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must
feel terrible".
Joe said, "Oh, hell no. Fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a
rotten old thing from the beginning; her bottom was all shriveled up, and she
smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in the
back, and a big ugly hole in the front, which got bigger every time I used
her. She leaked like crazy, and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what
really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I
warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with
her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it
was just too much for the old girl. While they were trying to get into their
various positions she split up the middle".
The old woman fainted.
Third note: Sandman has taken a wife and has swept her away for a month on one
of those three-hour cruises. Before he left, he prepared this issue's links.
He also wrote a review of my own story, "Virtuous Reality"; and he left me
under a solemn oath to post his review. Congratulations and best wishes to
the Sandman and the Sandmistress!
Fourth note: My husband made me a sudden offer that I couldn't refuse. As a
result, I have been gone for a while. I have no new reviews for this issue;
but thanks to guest reviewers and Sandman's Links, I can put together a pretty
good issue right away and have another issue ready by the weekend. Thanks to
the reviewers!
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Virtuous Reality" by Celeste (Blowjob Principle demonstrated)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=217691607
"Me and An Older Lady" by Unknown Author. (boring sex)
8, 6, 1
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351998911
"Sordid Conception," by Chili Peeler (swapping and watching)
9, 10, 10
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291389 01 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291397 02 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291403 03 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291410 04 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291417 05 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291424 06 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291429 07 (1)
"E-Maled" by David Shaw (blackmail) 3, 1, 0
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343810946
"Swing Man" by Chili Peeler (swinging and incest) 7.5
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291434 01
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291441 02
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291449 03
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291457 04
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291465 05
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291473 06
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291481 07
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291489 08
"The Summer of Love" by Spoonbender (paying for abortion)
10, 5, 3
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352383387
"Glenda" by The Bear (shifting values) 9, 8, 7
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291504 (1)
"The Fish" by S. B. Douglass
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330352
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330234
Reposted Reviews:
"Kissing Cousins" by Candy Kane (ff adolescent sex) 10, 10, 10
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302947
"Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff computer show sex) 9.27A
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302920
"Modern Exchange" by Fin Haddie (sex with exchange
studs) 9, 7, 7
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785932 (1)
"Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (ff romance)
10, 10, 10
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478786 01 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474645 02 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478794 03 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478804 04 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478837 05 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478826 06 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478847 07 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474635 08 (1)
"Cusps" by Jordan Shelbourne (romance) 10, 9, 9
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=261372129 (1)
(1)Repost not by original author.
========================
On this day in Celestial History..
Celestial Reviews CR #84 - May 15, 1996
-------------------
* "A Day on the Bay" by Joe Parsons (sex on a boat & mild
bondage) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212788083
* "Catty Corner" by SueNH (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953221
* "Across the Catty Corner (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179828211
* "Library of Congress" by Mark Aster (sex in the library)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201248293
Guest Reviews:
"Virtuous Reality" by Celeste (Celeste801@aol.com). Guest review by Sandman
(sandman@bitsmart.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=217691607
Celestology -- the study of Celeste. We all know that Celeste is an English
teacher and thus qualified to grade stories. Did you know that Celeste is
also a published author with a moderately successful romance novel under her
belt? If you did, you probably have read her FAQ. What may be least known of
all though is that Celeste has also published stories to these groups. To my
knowledge not one has been reviewed in the CR and that seems a bit sad really.
So I decided to correct this injustice.
Celeste did not send me this story. This is an unbiased, impartial,
unsolicited review. Hey Celeste! Remember that (9.5, 8, 5) you gave me a
while back? {{EVIL GRIN}}
In the earliest days of the Celestial Reviews, almost three years ago now,
which is really ancient by Internet standards, there was a top-notch author
called SueNH who published to these groups. Some of Sue's stories survive
thanks to reposters, and some are lost forever even on dejanews. While today
we have Janey, Bronwen, Kim, Leanna, and other very notable female authors it
was people like SueNH who helped pave the way for women authors in what once
was a group devoted solely to the adolescent desires of pimply-faced, sexually
repressed (male) computer geeks.
"Virtuous Reality" was written at the height of the Internet porn scare when
AOL chat rooms suddenly became pedo hangouts topping the nightly news, when
Senator Exxon had decided smut should be illegal, and every web page was black
and had a blue ribbon. In the McCarthy-like atmosphere poor Sue starts
feeling bad when she gets feedback from angry parents and when her co-workers
start telling her how obnoxiously horny their husbands have suddenly become
(as a result of Sue's stories of course!).
With shades of "It's a wonderful Life" as Hugh Heffner would have done it,
and Abbot and Costello (Who's on First?), the Goddess, er Angel, er, almost
angel Celeste appears to provide research material for future stories and
provide a little reassurance and encouragement to our dilemmaed damsel in
distress! With tongue deftly in cheek, Celeste does the one thing every
author that's ever set pen to paper salivates over: Celeste shows Sue how much
her stories are really appreciated.
At the time this was written it would have been described as hot, drop-dead
hilarious, insightful, and a fun romp with familiar personalities of the day
(much as today's authors romp in Malinov's orgy rooms). Today it is still all
of this, but also serves as a poignant and timely reminder that as much as
things have changed or as much as we THINK they have changed, life on ASS is
pretty much the same though some of the cast and crew are different.
After getting a story like this, I can not for the life of me imagine why
SueNH ever left the newsgroup. Celeste, founder of the blowjob principal
which almost everyone but authors ignore, demonstrates clearly, concisely, and
with great exuberance the ultimate blow job ever given to an author of these
groups. And the best thing of all is: we get to watch. {Celestial note: The
"Blowjob Principal" is a man with a Ph.D. who runs a school in our system,
whose ministrations I have never directly experienced. Sandman meant to say
"blowjob principle."}
There are only two faults with this story {SMILE}. For one we get the lack of
blank lines between paragraphs that so annoy me until I get used to it
(usually near the end.) Celeste uses blank lines to illustrate transitions
between scenes rather than moments. Second, Celeste is too intelligent for her
own good and we get a lot of words which are pleasing to authors but will send
your average King, Grisham or pedo fan running for the dictionary -- something
which paints a rather disturbing image of a flabby, middle aged man running
down the hall with his erection bobbing in the wind as he rushes to look up a
new word. But these are merely warnings to the reader; they are definitely
not point reductions.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss yer cum goodbye, and will be deftly
shown Celeste's *REAL* credentials. Authors will enjoy this story more than
the regular readers I think, because other than the fact that we don't have to
worry about the obscenity police busting down our door, things really haven't
changed. But I think it says a lot when I say that I think readers will find
this story as erotically charged as any story published this, or any other,
year.
Ordinarily this review would go to Celeste with a recommendation that it be
considered for this month's Top 20. Celeste won't put it on that list for
obvious conflict of interest reasons. So you're just going to have to take my
word for it that the story is good enough to be on the May 20, the 1998 100,
and the 1990's 1,000.
Ratings for "Virtuous Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10+
"A TRUE STORY, Me and An Older Lady" by an unknown author. Guest review by
Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351998911
Oh great. Another one of those arcticera.com stories. Well let's see if it's
boring, lame, or obnoxious. If I'm lucky it might just be mediocre.
Looks like lame bordering on mediocre -- well at least it was short. OK,
19-year-old guy comes home from college and gets a summer job at a factory
where all the women are OLD like his mom but amazingly enough sexually harass
him like he was a stripper on a construction site. But 37-year-old Ellie
defends his honor and takes his virtue as a birthday present (his).
The sex was decently described and the words were all in the right places, but
it just didn't move me. I never fell into the story. I never really cared
for the characters. I didn't really believe them. But it was readable, and
it was short, though I can't imagine anyone paying arcticera.com money to read
things like this.
Now, I have a fondness for older women; but even I couldn't ferret out an
appeal for this one.
Ratings for "Me and an older lady"
Athena (technical quality): 8 -- No mistakes, Celestially average.
Venus (plot & character): 6
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Sordid Conception," by Chili Peeler (chilepeelr@aol.com). Guest Review by
R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291389 01 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291397 02 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291403 03 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291410 04 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291417 05 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291424 06 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291429 07 (1)
When Celeste asked me to review this story, she added a note telling me it had
been hanging around for a while waiting to be reviewed. And I'll be damned if
I know why. This story is so delightfully filthy I'm not sure where to begin.
Okay, so we have Sharon Larrington having a conversation with her daughter-in-
law, Brenda. Seems like Brenda and Chris have been trying to put a bun in the
oven but, as it turns out, Chris' soldiers ain't marching to the beat. After
a debate on getting the job done artificially - something Brenda isn't fond of
considering - Sharon has the audacity to suggest that Brad, the hunky 19-year-
old-brother of Chris, knock the boots and get the job done in his brother's
place.
Now, if this was simply a story about surrogate parenting and the thrill of a
younger brother getting a piece of his sexy sister-in-law, it would be worth
the time it takes to download and read it. But, as you might imagine, things
aren't always what they appear to be. After a pretty convincing argument,
Brenda agrees to the plan. Later in the evening, Sharon gets ready for bed,
only to find Brad in her bed, naked, hard, and ready. After Brad and Sharon
kick some major holes in the walls, Sharon tells Brad of the plan to
impregnate Brenda and, of course, the horny teen is more than willing to do
the job.
To make this a little shorter, Brad and Brenda do the horizontal bop while
Sharon watches. What started out as "business" on Brenda's part turns out to
be just the thing she's been dreaming of, finding herself responding to Brad
as he works his magic. Afterwards, Brenda's on her way home, Brad is still
hot to trot and Sharon? Well, you can fry eggs on the girl. Brad convinces
this mother to shlob his knob right in the living room.
Brenda runs out of gas and returns to her mother-in-law's house and, you
guessed it, walks in on the action between Brad and his mother. After some
soul-bearing, Brenda readily agrees to Brad's suggested that they all go
upstairs and get wild. Which they do like no one's business.
The payoff is Brenda gets knocked up and gives birth to a baby girl. At the
celebration, Chris offers a toast to his wife and brother for the baby, much
to Sharon and Brad's surprise. Brenda confesses to them that she told Chris
everything - and I mean everything. To further celebrate things, Chris heads
up the stairs to get a piece of his mother and, yes, Brad and Brenda get ready
to do their thing again.
This story would have gotten all tens had it not been for the overuse of
ellipses and little things like two spaces after a period, etc. Other than
that, this was da bomb!
Ratings for "Sordid Conception"
R'khaan (technical quality): 9
R'khaan (plot & character): 10
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 10
"E-Maled" by David Shaw (shaw david@hotmail.com). Guest Review by R'khaan
(rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343810946
"The Sniffer," as he's known to his co-conspirators, is one sick puppy. He
gets his kicks hacking into his corporate network and stealing company email
messages (illegal as hell) where, along with selected cohorts, stalks and
subsequently blackmails (two more federal offenses) his unsuspecting female
coworkers into sexual activities.
This story has little or no erotic value to it unless, of course, you are cut
in the mold of "The Sniffer" and this kind of drivel appeals to you. If
anything, this writing will have people thinking twice about putting their
business out via their corporate email network. The author of this work might
not get people masturbating over his work, but he has done everyone a public
service: Be careful of what you email at work!
Ratings for "E-Maled"
R'khaan (technical quality): 3
R'khaan (plot & character): 1
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 0
Review of "Swing Man" by Chili Peeler (chilepeelr@aol.com). Guest review by
Dave Myers.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291434 01
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291441 02
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291449 03
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291457 04
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291465 05
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291473 06
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291481 07
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291489 08
You've heard of the (mostly silly) analogies drawn between baseball and sex.
Well, there's one aspect where I have to admit the writing of sex stories does
compare with the sport. Imagine a long fly ball to center field, hanging over
the fence and falling fast. Will it make it out of the park? Or will it be
caught for an out a moment later? Moral of the story: even if you had good
ideas when you started writing, if you don't end with a bang, a twist, a
punch, or at least a flourish, your reader (that's me!) will be prone to
ignore your nice plotting and buildup to the last few sections. The long fly
ball will not be remembered, except for the out.
Synopsis: This long-ish tale centers around a family man whose married life is
over, for all intents and purposes. In order to fight the boredom, he starts
swinging, with his brother's help. Later he is seduced by his 20-year-old
daughter.
These two distinct plot lines merge in a hot way, but not completely
gracefully. One key voyeuristic linkup scene (with daughter looking on) could
have been given more feeling. Still, it was pretty hot. Other than this, and a
completely superfluous and distracting drug subplot, the first half or more of
the story is quite readable. But at a certain point the writing of the sex
sequences becomes too rote. What starts off so well becomes more and more like
much of the incest-themed text currently out on the newsgroups: expectable.
Rating: 7.5
"The Summer of Love" by Spoonbender (Theodore@spoonbender.demon.co.uk). Guest
review by Bronwen (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352383387
It's 1967. A young girl is desperate for an abortion. A stoned one-off - and
the boy doesn't want to know. Every teenaged girl's nightmare. Her best
friend's older sister knows an abortionist, but the fee is out of our
heroine's reach. No need to panic. Her best friend's older sister knows an
easy way of earning the money. Yep, you guessed. Pay for the abortion by doing
what she did to get pregnant in the first place.
But the client turns out to be a john with a heart of gold, and all ends
happily. Way too happily. I had insuperable problems with the heroine's
reactions. Too many to list. But here's one: the story ends with the girl, now
a woman, looking back over 20 years to this marvelous experience. This woman,
a virgin until the fateful night, is happily reminiscing about the great sex
she had to pay for her abortion.....
I'm not saying abortion is automatically disastrous. Indeed, most women who
have abortions are relieved, but few look back to the events surrounding it
with any pleasure. Twenty years on, she would surely put her thoughts into
context - these are her child-bearing years. Does she have live children now,
or perhaps not? It seemed very strange to omit this inevitable train of
thought.
Also, as 1967 was the year of the Abortion Act, when it became legal in the UK
(and the story's set in the UK) it seems odd to have no reference to the
massive debate and changes going on at the time.
Celeste always ends her request for a review with the words " if you do not
want to review this story, just say so". I nearly did that with this story,
because I don't want to discourage Spoonbender from experimenting with
consensual stories. As most of my favorite stories are consensual and he's a
good writer I welcome this diversification. I really enjoyed his recent "Room
416". As usual with his stuff, "Summer of Love" is well-written and presented.
I expect the sex is hot, but I was so put off by the plot that none of it
worked for me. Correction. The man made sense. I've met men like that. But the
woman - well, I couldn't recognize her at all. Sorry, Spoonbender. Maybe I'm
weird. I hope plenty of other women read this story and give alternative
feedback.
Ratings for "The Summer of Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5 (plot made sense, character didn't)
Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 3 (turned-off, though not squicked)
"Glenda" by The Bear (al-bear@ix.netcom.com). Guest review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291504 (1)
The re-poster of this story attributes it to The Bear. I understand there are
two authors with that name. This Bear characterizes "Glenda" as follows:
"This one is unusual for the BEAR in that both participants are adults, so
there is not any youthful sex in this one."
"Glenda" is a 1995 story that is studded with reality, or perhaps more
correctly, the quandaries of real life. In a fantasy world of absolutes,
there might be a "right way" to live life, a set of rules that, if followed,
would assure one of being proper. But that's not how life works. "Glenda"
underscores the fact that we live in a grey world of shifting values.
What are some of these standards? How about the age differential between men
and women? Or more specifically, between an older man and a younger woman?
Picture this: The protagonist, John, a caring and decent guy, once dated
Glenda's mom. For the sake of discussion, let's assume Glenda's mom gave
birth to her when she was twenty. If, as he recalls, she was a "pretty little
girl" before she became an even more attractive teenager, we estimate his and
her mom's age at about 30 when Glenda was say ten. Twenty years difference on
that end is huge. But John meets Glenda again when she's in her "late
twenties' - let's put it at 30 for purposes of round numbers. So, John's now
about twenty years older, or about fifty.
How's that feel? A lot less inappropriate certainly than when she was a lot
younger, huh? Perhaps. Depends on your views, I guess.
The story alludes to another mismatch - size. Glenda's 4' 9" while John is
considerably larger. We're not sure about the magnitude of the physical
discrepancy, but he's able to hold her on his lap with ease.
To be truthful, neither of these issues loom as substantive in this romance,
especially the size differential. In fact it would appear to work for their
benefit for, "She isn't quite sure why, but she has found that she prefers men
who are both quite a bit older than she is, and that are very large and
strong, although the body-builder types don't tickle her fancy at all." I
suppose it's not for nothing that the author calls himself The Bear.
So, this story unfolds as a very sweet tale of a younger woman and an older
man who have secretly been attracted to each other for years and now, by
serendipity, have the opportunity to explore the heretofore off-limits areas.
Glenda becomes John's houseguest and through necessity, they must sleep in
separate beds in the same room. Given this background, the remainder of the
story evolves as you would predict.
It's a tension-free story of early unrequited love that enjoys a sweet
redemption when they re-discover each other as adults. There's no high drama
or convoluted seduction in this story. It's a straight ahead, simple love
story. Very sweet but not too high on the peter meter.
Ratings for "Glenda"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Sweet, but not hot)
Review of "The Fish" by S. B. Douglass (). Guest review by Dave Myers.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330352
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330234
For regular readers of erotica who don't usually find sci-fi stories
appealing, this is a very good starting point for sampling the genre. I won't
spoil the twist of the story (for those who haven't guessed it from the
title), but it's quite creative. Typical of sci-fi stories, the sex is
downplayed by the wild idea spun out in the text.
A few spelling errors blemish an otherwise very nicely written piece. The
scientific terms seem to have given the most trouble: "simbiotic" for
"symbiotic", sometimes "urchin" and sometimes "urchen". I could also quibble
over whether or not there are any true atolls in the Florida Keys, but these
mistakes don't degrade the overall story. Try it, you'll like it.
Rating: 8.5
* "Kissing Cousins" by Candy Kane (rytr33@hotmail.com). Guest review by David
Rills.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302947
Pamela, 18, is baby-sitting her 13-year-old neighbor, Michelle. The two girls
are sitting in front of the TV when they channel surf across the adult
channel. After scenes of a boy and girl making love, two lesbians appear on
screen. The scene sends Pamela's thoughts back to the sexual encounter which
she had with her "kissing cousin," Becky.
Awakening from her reminiscence, Pamela finds Michelle on top of her begging
for sex.
The story is extremely well done and the dialog is convincing. The plot is
very believable and the descriptions of the lesbian acts between innocent
young girls is arousing. This story is well worth the reader's time.
Ratings for "Kissing Cousins"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
David (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com).
Guest Review.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302920
"Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few distractions
to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one woman by another.
Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer show, and meet each other
while standing on the floor for 10 hours fending off propositions from men. At
one point in the shared cab ride back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator,
asks ""Is getting laid the only reason these guys come here?" This is one of
the few distractions, because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to
computer shows.
The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give Christine
a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out that they both
end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend the next several
days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting at the display to show
each other their pussies, and generally having a lovely time.
The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't they
all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing errors, such
as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what? And there are
words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick proofreading would
have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's niggling, but if I didn't
catch at least a couple of grammatical errors, I wouldn't be doing my job as a
reviewer, right?
I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt" scale, a
logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot, sexuality,
spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical factors such as
whether it's Tuesday or not.
{end of review}
* "Modern Exchange" by Fin Haddie (sgoodman@primenet.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785932 (1)
The woman is married to a guy who no longer cares about sex. Fortunately,
they take in exchange students who are real studs, and so her unmet needs are
gloriously met by these studious but kindly Latin lovers.
This author asked me in a personal note whether his stories rang true for
women. For me, "The Plumber" (reviewed last issue) did, but this one didn't.
I felt that I could identify with the plumbing lady; but this woman sounds
struck me as the kind of woman horny stud wannabes wish for, rather than a
real person. Within that constraint, it's still pretty hot stuff.
Ratings for "Modern Exchange"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478786 01 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474645 02 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478794 03 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478804 04 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478837 05 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478826 06 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478847 07 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474635 08 (1)
This author combines timing and tension to create a very good story. At the
very start we know simply that Betty (Elizabeth) is upset because her father
has thrown Stacy (Anastasia) out of the house and has threatened to kill her
if he ever sees her around his daughter again. Then we flash back to a scene
in a vice-principal's office, where Betty is describing her problems with a
teacher who seems to be making passes at her. There must be some relation,
the reader thinks, between what's happening in this flashback and the
relationship between Betty and Stacy; but what is it? Is the vice-principal
actually Stacy? The vice-principal has recommended a tutor; will that be
Stacy? And then there is a sinister note; the vice-principal is apparently
interested in exploiting a sexual opening with the teacher who had been
harassing Betty. What are the implications of that tidbit for Betty? I can't
help it; I root for characters when I read some of these stories. I already
sympathize with Betty; and as a hard-working teacher myself, I wouldn't mind
seeing the VP stick it to the teacher/pervert, but I hope that Betty and Stacy
are people with a wholesome relationship rather than participants in some sort
of demeaning ring of sex-slavery.
As I finish writing the preceding paragraph, I am only about 2000 words into a
47,000-word story. I mention this because I think it is a sign of a good
story to arouse the reader's interest as strongly as this story grabbed my
attention.
I'm reluctant to tell you too much of the story. I enjoyed finding out what
would happen next, and I think you will too. The author uses an interesting
strategy of alternating between the past and the present; that is, there is
one continuous story starting in the present; and another continuous story -
that gives meaning to the current-time story - starts in the past. In
general, this is an ingenious and enthralling approach; but at times it
becomes confusing. For example, when the girls are arguing in the past and
making up in the present, the two plots may become entwined in the reader's
mind. It must have been difficult for the author to coordinate these two
plots; but he carries it off effectively - with the exception of one point in
Chapter 4 where he seems to use in the past storyline information about Joyce
that could be known only from the present plot.
This is not a wham-bang sex story; it's a romantic story about a relationship
that happens to involve intimate sex between two females. The early part of
the story (probably the first two thirds - and that's a lot in a story of this
size) does not contain any specific sexual activity at all; but sex is
implied, and sexual tension pervades even this part. That makes it sexy to
me. When explicit sex does occur, it is very hot.
To be honest, I have to admit that this story brought tears to my eyes more
often than it brought moisture to my lower regions; but they were often tears
of joy that I associate with really happy times in the sack. I suppose that
makes this pretty much a "chick story," but you studs out there oughta read it
too. Maybe it'll put some hair on your chest.
This story has some flaws; but it's still excellent. Look at it this way: on
several occasions the author actually spelled "english" (as in English
Teacher!) with a lower-case "e"; but I still gave the story straight 10's. I
can't offer a much stronger recommendation than that!
Ratings for "Elizabeth & Anastasia"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Cusps" by Jordan Shelbourne (an624781@anon.penet.fi).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=261372129 (1)
It has been either six or ten months since the man and his wife have made
love, depending on whether they counted the one time when the baby was six
weeks old. He's in the mood, but she isn't. In the middle of the night he
wakes up and finds her depressed, and to liven things up he tells her about
his affair with the one Other True Love of his life. This story-within-a-
story is the real story. It describes the development of a physical
relationship that evolved into love and then eventually disintegrated, while
the man still remained in love. This story is rich in details, but the plot
into which it has been inserted is not.
Incidentally, my own experience with breastfeeding was almost the opposite of
Gwen's. For example, my husband seemed to like the fact that my breasts were
occasionally engorged to unusual dimensions, and he didn't mind that someone
else was using them as feeding stations. We had pretty hot sex pretty
regularly. Having the kids puke at later ages was a much more serious
disruption than my breastfeeding when they were young. At that time I
attended meetings of a major organization that advocates breastfeeding but
which shall remain anonymous in this review, and my impression was that my
experience was pretty much normal. On the other hand, I also have a friend
whose husband took off for Las Vegas with his girlfriend while the wife was in
the hospital giving birth to their firstborn, and he continued making those
trips monthly for the next year or so. Different -people simply respond
differently to the same stimuli.
Oh! The title of this story refers to epiphanies or cusps that we encounter
in life. The word has several related meanings, but in architecture "cusp"
refers to the point of intersection of two ornamental arcs or curves. The
idea is that you have to be ready when you encounter one, or the doorway
becomes closed. I understand that Robert Frost would was going to call his
poem "The Cusp Not Taken," but he had an epiphany and chose "Road" instead,
and that has made all the difference. Some of the things that I say in these
Reviews are not perfectly true.
Ratings for "Cusps"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "A Day on the Bay" by Joe Parsons (jmp@cyber-
mall.com).http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212788083
The woman gets knocked overboard and is then rescued by the skipper of the
craft. They are the only two on board. Since she might experience
hypothermia, he undresses her and puts her into a dry sleeping bag. To share
his warmth with her, he gets naked himself and climbs in with her. Eventually
she expresses her gratitude to the skipper for saving her life, and then the
ship's captain expresses his gratitude to her for expressing her gratitude.
This is a very good story - especially for nautical people and for Baywatch
fans - who will, of course, insert themselves and their favorite characters
into the story line.
Ratings for "A Day on the Bay"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
*"Catty Corner" by Sue.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953221
I loved this story. So many writers on a.s.s. can describe hot sex; but Sue
has the knack of putting it into the context of a really creative story. This
one comes with a double whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then the
voyeurs watching each other. I just resolved earlier today to be a little
rougher in my ratings. I also resolved to give my husband a break from
passion tonight. Oh, well; there go my resolutions.
Ratings for "Catty Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179828211
In a previous review I gave a rating of 10 to "Catty Corner" by Sue. I
pointed out that "Catty Corner" came with a double whammy - a voyeur watching
a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other. This story brings us to
either a triple or quadruple whammy - or at least a roaring orgasm. "Across
the Catty Corner" tells the same story from the viewpoint of the voyeur in the
first story, and then goes on to describe what happens afterwards. It's
simply delightful! I hope that Sue reads this review and reposts "Catty
Corner" as soon as possible. I think the second story will stand alone; but I
know I enjoyed it more after first reading Sue's story. Incidentally, I can
just imagine Deidre or Tammy Ng writing a sequel to this story - probably from
the perspective of one of them leaving a telephone message for the other about
what they did while they read this pair of stories - or perhaps what an
unnamed reviewer did shortly after reading these stories. No - that's too
much of a stretch.
Ratings for "Across the Catty Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Library of Congress" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201248293
The title is a bit deceptive. The story doesn't take place in the Library of
Congress, where activities like this are fairly common, but rather in a sub-
basement of the medical law library where Julie goes to school. What do you
suppose would happen if Our Hero and Julie were wrapping up a study session in
a lonely library area, occupied only by the classical, bespectacled librarian
and the gangly adolescent with the book cart? Just as you might expect, Julie
seduces the librarian by giving her The Look. Then while Julie settles her
overdue fines with the book kid on the study table, Our Hero does the silent
serenade with the librarian among the stacks. It's very sexy stuff; this
author is at his best when he's describing two couples copulating
simultaneously. If synchronized sex ever becomes an Olympic sport, I want
Mark Aster for my team's coach.
Ratings for "Library of Congress"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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