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From: Jenny Sinn <srd@ns.cooke.net>
Subject: A Night With Sonya Lynn 3 (mf  rom) [3/8]
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Chapter 3

They held each other for several minutes. Mike felt her tears soak
through his shirt. The fires of passion roared in him as he held her
tight. It felt so good to hold her, he thought. Then she kissed him
deep. He kissed back on impulse. He had told himself he would not make
love to her but it out of his power to control. He could not believe he
was letting her pull him over to the bed. She pulled him down with her
as they seemed to become one in heart and spirit. Mike thought how
strange this was. God how it felt so right. He could not deny his love
for her.

It was not sex to Sonya or Mike it was love. It was as if they were
married at that very moment. They felt a warm glow so good that it
filled the whole room. God she thought how soft and gentle he was.
Pushing away her on fears of what the future might hold Sonya tried very
hard at being sure Mike was taken care of and satisfied ahead of
herself. She knew the treatment she was giving him and what she was
receiving could never have a price tag put on it because it was from her
heart. She felt Mikes heart so vulnerable and defenseless, so caring. So
they’re were intertwined with boundless love. She thought she heard a
faint love you from him. It could have been her saying it to him.
Afterward Mike was staring into her eyes. I did not mean for that to
happen. Then he smiled. But I am Glad it did. Well she laughed, I am
good at my job. Then her past made her feel unworthy of the great
feeling she had with Mike. She sat up in bed. Mike, you have no idea how
fucked up I really am. I feel guilty as sin. Mike took her hands. That’s
true Sonya. I admit I can’t begin to know what it’s like to be you, to
have seen the things you have out on the streets. I can’t begin to guess
what all you have been through. I know that you are a good person. You
may feel like you are in Hell now. No I don’t. Hell is what I ran from 4
years ago. But I never believe there is a heaven, not for me. I am too
bad to be happy. Sonya, I stand at my window at work and look out. I see
a card board box that some homeless person spent the night the night
before. And I wish I could help him. But I can’t. Do you know why? Sonya
felt his frustration. Why? Because they don’t want my help. They are not
reaching out. Sonya buried her head in the pillow crying. Then she
looked at him. Why me Mike? Why did you pick me? You don’t know that you
can trust me. Yes I do. I know that as long as you are in control of you
own actions I can trust you. I know allot about you.

How do you know about me? I have watched you and I have sources. I know
you prefer hetro sexual even though you can swing both ways if you have
to. I know you have a drug habit. I know you smoke a pack of cigarettes
a day. Even though you have not demonstrated it to me you love to have
oral sex as well what we have been doing. Let’s see you eat dinner every
Wednesday at the corner 5th street and Grand Avenue. Have I missed
anything? Yes When I don’t eat sugar I get really shaky. That means you
have low sugar level in your blood. Sonya I know you are not perfect-,
Then Sonya says But all hookers are like me. Why did you pick me Mike?
Mike tried to hold back the tears but they ran down his face. At first I
just thought you were you know just good looking. Then after we were
together that first time-- Mike sniffled, I fell in love with you. I
love you Sonya. Then they talked about the hard times ahead. And some
how Sonya found the strength to believe that she could make. Nobody had
ever loved her before. Nobody had ever believed in her before. She knew
she had to do certain things, like being arrested. But for the first
time in her life she put her trust in someone else besides herself.

He was sure that Sonya was rejecting him as he put his head on the
pillow. He closed his eyes and Sonya kissed him. It finely sunk in that
he was being kissed. Then he kissed back. Then she whispered, “I love
you too, baby”. By the way tonight was no charge. She laid her head on
his chest. Sonya looked out the window and saw a shooting star go by.
Then she closed her eyes to sleep. When Mike woke there was a letter
from Sonya.

Dear Mike,
I have never had anyone love me before. I guess I am just a little
scared. I never trusted anyone before. So please understand What I am
going through. You said you trusted me. If you do trust me and if you
love me then you have to know that I need time to think. I promise I
will see you again. I want you. I believe in you like you do me. I feel
one with you. I love you
Love,
Sonya

Mike felt great pain as he closed the door to his car. He stopped at a
grave that said. Angela Lee Born July 8 1981 Died August 15, 1996. Mike
cried. The memory flashed in his mind. A dark girl with dark brown hair
was kidnapped and was given an overdose. You had to shoot up one last
time didn’t you Angel. Why? She is just like you Angela. I remember you
needed time too. He bowed his head at her grave.





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