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From: cyan@anon.nymserver.com
Subject: Repost TG: Life With Brian 1/3



My first attempt to post this failed because it was truncated.  Let's =
see if I can get it there in three parts.  

This is the first story I've ever written.  Let me know if you like =
it, or if you think it needs more work.

Thanks

Becky

***

Life with Brian.
by Rebecca A.


Brian and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember, =
although I wondered why from time to time.  Sometimes he drove me =
nuts.  He sometimes behaved really oafishly - or just insensitively - =
and he could be opinionated, too.  Not that he didn't have good =
reason to be.  He was always one of the smartest kids I knew, and he =
was captain of the football team when we were at high school.  Brian =
was one of those good-looking golden boys for whom life always =
naturally came easy, smiling his way through difficult situations =
with a flash of his blue eyes and an easy laugh.  Whenever we fell =
out he always won me over again with some quick-witted remarks and a =
look that seemed to say "what, you don't like me?  How can you =
resist?"

I never figured out why he was friends with me, unless it was just an =
accident of geography since we lived next door to one another when we =
were kids.  I was the opposite of everything Brian surrounded himself =
with.  While Brian's family was relatively well-off my Mom and I were =
always struggling.  I was only average at school, and while I wasn't =
one of the geeks I wasn't very popular either.  I was too short and =
small to be any good at sport, and not muscular or handsome enough to =
get girls easily.  The girls I did go out with were more attracted by =
the proximity to Brian, I think.  

For whatever reason, Brian and I remained friends throughout school.  =
After we graduated he went off to California to do pre-med at college =
in Los Angeles, and I stayed in the same hokey little burg we'd grown =
up in, working myself into a brain-dead state in a job in an =
insurance company.  I didn't have the grades for a scholarship to =
college, and my Mom couldn't afford to help me out with money since =
Dad had skipped out on us when I was three.  There was the community =
college, but I would have to move closer in to the city to attend, or =
commute four hours a day on the bus.

Only three months after I got the job the company went through a =
round of 'downsizing', and after three more months I still hadn't =
found a new job.   I got a phone call around then from Brian, =
wondering how I was and what I was up to.  I told him I wasn't up to =
much, and he told me I should come out to the coast and stay at his =
place - he was sure there were more jobs in California, and he had =
plenty of room.  After talking it over with Mom we agreed that at =
worst I'd get to see the ocean (I never had before) and I couldn=B9t =
do much worse than the jobs I'd recently been getting rejections for. =
 Mom and my Grandma gave me farewell hugs and a couple of hundred =
dollars, and I caught a bus for the bright lights.

Brian met me at the bus station, and sped me home to his little =
apartment in his beat up Rabbit convertible.  He was wrong about =
having plenty of room, I realised as soon as we walked in.  Apart =
from the apartment being tiny it was full of an enormous amount of =
clutter.  Where had he acquired all this stuff in such a short time?  =
I said as much and he told me all the furniture had come with his =
previous girlfriend, Ashleigh, who had dropped out a few months =
earlier and decided to leave for Nepal on some weird spiritual =
enlightenment thing.  Brian told me she was coming back but he didn't =
know when.  He looked kind of dejected when he talked about that so I =
didn't press him on it.  I did think at the time that Ashleigh's =
sense of interior decorating needed adjustment, but the awfulness of =
the striped couch was matched by Brian's evident total inability to =
clean so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

We agreed I'd have to sleep on the couch for the time being.  Brian =
proposed that as soon as I got a job we could move to a bigger =
apartment and share the expense, which sounded fine with me.  In the =
meantime he would cover all the bills and rent from the money his =
parents gave him.  

Within a few days it was just like old times.  Despite our occasional =
ups and downs I was always more relaxed in Brian's presence than with =
anyone else, and he seemed glad to have someone to distract him from =
Ashleigh=B9s absence.  Pretty soon he began to devote more time to =
his studies, so I tried not to disturb him and devoted my time to =
searching for work.

In a few weeks I had begun to realise that in Los Angeles a =
high-school diploma didn't qualify me for much more than a car wash =
attendant.  I found that out when I got a job washing cars.  It =
didn't last, though.  One of the guys I was working with, Bob, had an =
argument with a customer a few weeks after I started, and it =
developed into a fight.  I was kind of shocked, and I just stood =
there while they hit one another.  When the customer filed a =
complaint with the police he claimed that there were two guys =
fighting with him - I don't know why unless he was embarrassed at Bob =
humiliating him - and my boss decided to fire both of us to shut the =
customer and the police up.  

Brian thought the whole incident was hilarious, since he knew I'd =
never been in a fight with anyone my whole life except the time Nicky =
Davis hit me in third grade, which didn't count because I was winded =
so it wasn't a fight, it was a single punch.

Needless to say I was less than amused.  I had no more savings at =
all.  I couldn't even afford to get my hair cut.  As it got longer I =
took to tying it back most days, and I always put it in a ponytail =
when I went for a job.  Brian tried his best to cheer me up, and made =
sure the refrigerator was well-stocked and we never wanted for =
anything at home, but I was dispirited with my lack of success with =
jobs and the difficulty of getting one without references.  I started =
to sleep late, and mope around the house all day because I had no =
money to go out.  One day I became aware that I really didn't like =
myself that much anymore.

After about two months of this I was at a low ebb, and one night over =
pizza which he had paid for I was unburdening myself on Brian yet =
again when suddenly he told me to cut it out, he'd had enough of my =
whining.  I was shocked, and upset, but I knew he was right - I had =
been complaining a lot lately.  He told me if I really wanted =
something to do I could start by cleaning the apartment up a little, =
he didn't know how I could be at home all day but the place looked =
worse than ever.  I started to say that he was the source of most of =
the mess but caught myself and held it in.  I owed Brian an awful lot.

Later he seemed to realise that he'd hurt my feelings with his =
outburst, and to make it up to me he treated me to a movie.  It was =
typical Brian, to act as though nothing had happened and be his usual =
charming witty self as we drove through the warm night with the top =
down.  By the end of the evening I'd forgotten all about our argument.

In the morning I made sure I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and living =
room thoroughly while Brian was at college.  I left his bedroom =
alone, I figured that was his business.

In return, Brian started to try to involve me more in his life =
outside the apartment.  I got to meet more of his friends from =
college who were mostly nice although we didn't have a lot in common =
except for Brian.  I could see that a couple of girls in his year =
were infatuated with him.  He still had those good looks and that =
charm, but it seemed he was still hung up on Ashleigh and didn=B9t =
notice all the other attention.

Brian decided we should both be fitter, and we started jogging =
together in the mornings before he went off to classes.  At first I =
was reluctant, but it did make me feel better and got me out of the =
apartment.  We both started taking vitamins, and tried to eat better =
foods.  In a few weeks I noticed both our moods improved =
substantially, so I guess good health does have some short term =
benefits as well as the lasting ones Brian was keen about.

Over the next few months my success with jobs was just as limited, =
and I toyed with the idea of going back home to Mom.  But I enjoyed =
my time with Brian, although I was seeing less and less of him as his =
study increased.  And although I'd so far had only a little exposure =
to LA it seemed so much more exciting than my home town, and I didn't =
think I could stand to go back to somewhere where everyone knew me =
and I wasn=B9t anything.  In LA I was a failure but at least no-one =
except Brian knew.

I got to be a very good housekeeper.  Brian commented on it one =
morning about six months after I moved in, and as I looked around I =
had to admit the place had changed since I first saw it.  Apart from =
some general cleaning I'd also moved some stuff around, washed the =
curtains and put a cover on the horrible couch to tone it down a bit. =
 While the place didn't look like it would make Architectural Digest, =
it looked like my Mom wouldn't drop dead when she saw it.

Not long after that Brian got a letter from Ashleigh, the first in =
ages, and it really brought him down into a slump.  He became kind of =
listless and empty, and didn=B9t want to talk about it, so I tried my =
best to be supportive and didn=B9t pry.  I made sure he ate well and =
always had clean clothes and all that kind of stuff so that at least =
he could focus on his studies.  He looked at me kind of funny one =
night as I was doing the dishes after dinner and said "you know =
Chris, you make a terrific wife".  I threw the dishcloth at him in =
mock anger and he gave me his first smile in ages.  

Brian's spirits improved quickly after that, and I figured that he =
was finally over Ashleigh.  She sure had made a big impression on him =
considering they=B9d only been together for a few months.  Anyway, he =
devoted himself more to work, but we also did more stuff out like =
in-line skating and some hiking.  

About nine months after I moved to LA I started to feel a kind of =
strange fatigue, but I passed it off as a  mild virus and didn't =
think much about it.  I did notice that I wasn=B9t able to run quite =
as well as I had been.  I thought maybe I needed to improve my muscle =
tone a little, and so I signed up for a yoga class that was taught =
after hours at the civic centre.  Brian agreed to pay for it as a =
present for my eighteenth birthday, on the understanding that I =
wasn't going to go all mystical on him like Ashleigh did and wig out =
for Nepal or anything.  I had to reassure him that it wasn't that =
kind of course - it had very little meditation and a lot of muscle =
work.  Even so, I found that I had lost a little of the strength I =
had, and holding some of the poses was more difficult than I=B9d =
imagined it would be.  

Most of the others in my yoga class were women, and I struck up a =
friendship with one woman about ten years older than me.  Her name =
was Barbara and she was married with two kids.  She referred to the =
yoga as her sanity break.  She started driving me home after the =
class finished because it was pretty much on her way.  I liked her, =
she reminded me of a younger version of my Mom, who I was missing.

I started losing weight, even though I thought I was still eating the =
same amounts.  I didn't notice it at first because we didn=B9t have a =
set of scales in the apartment, but I did notice that some of my =
jeans were looser on me and so were the collars on my shirts.  Some =
of them were getting kind of thin, and I thought maybe they'd =
stretched.  But in the bathroom one morning I noticed that I was =
definitely thinner than I used to be.  I started to worry that I was =
wasting away.

Finally I got a little work.  Barbara told me her husband needed some =
part time assistance with his business, routine stuff like mail-outs =
to clients and keeping track of orders and deliveries.  It was only a =
day a week, but he could pay me cash and I could choose the day that =
was best for me.  I was really happy, not just because of the money, =
which wasn't going to be much, but because it would be my money and I =
wouldn't have to ask Brian for as much each week.

Brian was pleased for me, but reiterated that we were doing fine with =
the money we had,  He said I shouldn't feel obliged to contribute to =
the house expenses - the money I earned should be mine.  So I went to =
work for Barbara=B9s husband, John, who was nice enough but a bit =
distant.  The first day I started there I got the idea that he didn't =
really need me but that Barbara might have talked him into employing =
me.  I tried to impress him anyway, doing the work scrupulously, and =
dressing as well as I could.  I had become very used to having long =
hair by now, and so I always made sure my hair was tied back, and I =
was as polite as possible.  It didn't seem to matter, he always =
regarded me with a kind of surreptitious distrust.

I tried to make sure the house was as clean as ever and that Brian =
always got a healthy evening meal.  I didn=B9t want my work to =
interfere with that, because I was conscious of Brian's generosity in =
paying for all our living expenses.  I even began to clean his room =
as well as the rest of the apartment.  One day during the course of =
cleaning I found a few letters and photos which Ashleigh had sent =
him.  I idly flicked through the photos.  She sure was gorgeous.  I =
could see why Brian would still be hung up on her.  I felt guilty =
looking at the photos for some reason, so I decided not to pry =
through the letters and put them back in the drawer I=B9d found them =
in.

Brian=B9s room still had a fair bit of Ashleigh's stuff in it.  That =
made sense, I guess, since she had promised him she was coming back.  =
I straightened Brian's things up as much as I could, but I left the =
drawers with Ashleigh's underwear and other stuff untouched.  I =
didn=B9t think Brian wanted his life totally organised.

The apartment looked great, and I saved a little money from the job, =
so I spent a little on a couple of minor things to brighten the place =
up.  I was gonna buy myself some clothes with the first few paychecks =
I got, but I figured Brian had been really good to me and so I wanted =
to spend the money on stuff we could both benefit from.  Brian seemed =
pleased with the minor changes I made around the place, and I felt =
good for having done it.  Anyway, there were paychecks in the future =
to take care of clothing and other stuff.  The clothes I had were =
worn, but who cared?  John didn't seem to care how I looked at work.  =
I guess the benefit of running a mail-order business is you never =
have to see the customers.

A few weeks after I started work I was in the shower when I noticed =
my nipples were unusually sensitive, painful even.  I studied them =
and noticed that they looked pinker, and a little swollen.  There was =
a little hard lump under each of them.  I wondered if I had some kind =
of infection, and whether it was related to the weight loss.  I =
thought I'd ask Brian, he was still only doing the pre-med course but =
he was the closest thing to a medical reference I had.  

But I was too embarrassed for the next couple of weeks.  I almost =
asked him one night after dinner, but then I felt self-conscious and =
changed the subject before I got to ask anything.  Then after a =
couple of weeks the pain went away, although my nipples stayed a bit =
puffy.  If anything they were even more swollen.  

Over the next month I noticed Brian sneaking quick glances at me when =
he thought I wasn=B9t looking.  I wasn=B9t sure what he was looking =
at, but whenever I turned to meet his gaze he looked away.

I found I was needing to sleep more.  I still got up early to go =
jogging with Brian, but I started taking little naps in the =
afternoons on days I wasn=B9t working.  I thought I might still have =
been losing weight, so I bought a cheap pair of scales with some of =
my own money and weighed myself.  I was shocked.  Since I moved to LA =
I=B9d lost almost thirty pounds!  I wasn=B9t a big guy to begin with. =
 

I studied myself closely in the mirror, concerned by my still puffy =
nipples and the amount of muscle I seemed to have lost from my =
shoulders and chest.  My legs were still in good shape, the jogging =
seemed to be helping that, and I looked fit.  Maybe I was naturally =
meant to be lower in weight and it was just the exercise?

Later that evening I finally asked Brian what he knew about sudden =
weight loss.  He wanted to know why I was asking, and I mentioned =
most of the changes that had been taking place.  He shrugged, and =
said it didn't seem like anything to worry about, but if I wanted to =
see a Doctor...  I knew where that might lead considering the job I =
had with John didn't give me health benefits.

I didn=B9t want to mention what was happening to my chest to Brian.  =
There were some things guys just didn't talk about.

Over the next two months my weight seemed to stabilise at a little =
over 100lbs, which was alarming, but then it rose another 10lbs.  But =
there was no doubt about it now, my chest was definitely doing =
something weird.  One Sunday morning, a non-jogging day, I was in bed =
contemplating the day ahead when I ran my hand over my chest and =
noticed how extraordinarily good it felt.  I stroked my nipples a =
little and was rewarded with a very intense sensation.  That's when I =
knew.  

I leapt out of my bed on the couch and ran to the bathroom.  Tearing =
off the t-shirt I usually wore to bed I stared at myself in the =
mirror.  

I was turning into a girl.  

Oh so slowly, but that was what was happening.  I had small but =
definite breasts with largish dark pink nipples, and the weight I had =
put on recently seemed all to have gone to my butt.  There was an =
indentation at my waist, and I noticed that my neck and arms looked =
more slender.  The hair on my legs still looked kind of dark, but it =
seemed as though it was thinning.  I had never had much on my arms =
and none on my chest, so it was hard to tell anything from that.  

My penis didn't look as though it was affected much at all.  Although =
now that I reflected on it I hadn't had an erection for a long time.  =
I wondered why I hadn=B9t noticed that before?

I sat on the edge of the bathtub and wondered how and why this was =
happening.  I must have some kind of strange disease or something.  I =
had to find out a way to see a doctor.

Eventually I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror again.  I =
pulled my hair up and studied the way I looked.  My face had changed =
a little I think, though it was hard to tell.  It looked thinner =
overall, but my cheekbones looked bigger and my lips a little fuller. =
 Perhaps I was just imagining it.  I'd have to try to find a photo =
from a while ago to make a comparison.  I turned with my back to the =
mirror and tried to look over my shoulder to see how I looked from =
behind.  I noticed my back looked very much like a girl=B9s, too.  

Strangely, I felt more surprised than upset.  I got into the shower =
and washed my hair.  On the spur of the moment I decided to reach for =
the razor and shaving foam on the vanity and began to shave my legs =
while I was in the shower.  I nicked myself once, but mostly it was =
surprisingly easy.  Then, for good measure, I shaved my armpits too.  

I  got out of the shower and dried myself off.  "And the colored =
girls go doop, she-doop, doop-doop, she-doop" I sang under my breath. =
 How did the rest of it go?  "Plucked her eyebrows on the way, shaved =
her legs..."  Well, I wasn't quite ready to pluck my eyebrows.  But =
my legs felt great.  I idly thought I must have been losing my =
marbles to shave them, but they looked pretty good as well.  No =
regrets, I decided.  

I stayed in the bathroom a while, looking myself over.  Eventually I =
guess I came to my senses.  I realised I was gonna have to start =
covering myself up a little more unless I wanted Brian to notice what =
was happening to me.  I guessed I should also work out a way to get =
to a doctor pretty soon.  Idly I wondered why I wasn't really upset =
about all of this.  

I got out some surgical bandage from the bathroom cupboard and wound =
it around my chest in an attempt to flatten out my - well, my =
breasts, that was what they were now, there was no question about =
that.  When I was reasonably satisfied I wrapped a towel around =
myself, including my chest this time instead of letting it hang =
around my waist.  I wondered how come Brian hadn't said anything to =
me yet.  Surely he must have noticed this  before considering I hung =
around the house in t-shirts most of the time.  I stopped worrying =
about that and got dressed.  My legs felt amazing as I pulled my =
jeans over them, so smooth and, I had to admit, kind of sexy.  Then I =
combed my still damp hair out.  It was well and truly down between my =
shoulder blades by now.  I had gotten used to it being so long, in =
fact I kind of liked it.

***

Continued in Part Two

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