Message-ID: <6082eli$9712041340@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/6082.txt>
From: roseymaryd@aol.com (RoseyMaryD)
X-Good-Line-Length: yes
Subject: {ASS} The Critical Review: Issue 2
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
Path: qz!not-for-mail
Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam
Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Original-Message-Id: <19971203090101.EAA08808@ladder01.news.aol.com>
X-Is-Review: yes


The Critical Review: Issue 2
By Rosemary <RoseyMaryD@aol.com>

After some heartfelt encouragement and a swift kick in the ass -- which was
self administered -- I find myself stepping into the world of reviewing erotic
stories, again.  Again?  Yes, this will be my second issue of the Critical
Review.  

An author, who is sometimes the harshest critic of all, conjures up a story
from the depths of their soul so it can be placed on paper (posted on Usenet)
for us to read.  Therefore, I feel an obligation to gives something back.   
Some feel that erotic literature, and literature in general, shouldn't be
criticized or reviewed because it will scare off writers, especially new
authors, whereas I think it develops into a special opportunity for the reader
to engage the text, the emotion, and the thought that was formed from the
author's imagination.   

Do not get me wrong, I feel that sexual arousal is, was and always will be a
major factor in my reviewing process.  It's just that I find that I need to
engage the text and make the words matter to me.  I want them to light my
synapses, fire my pleasure centers, and brutally manipulate my emotions like a
harp player plucking at the strings of my heart with a haunting, sensual tune
of seduction.  I want to become enriched by elaborate plots, characters and
settings.  I desire a text with sensuous vulgarity, which does more than rip my
bodice or weaken my knees.  I want it to gently tug on my nipples, caress my
skin, penetrate me physically and open my mind to endless carnal possibilities.
 

I deal with writers on a daily basis, so I know that many like having their
work recognized and even nit-picked to an extent.  They want feedback.  I
notice many writers on alt.sex.stories crave to hear from their readers in
order to know if the prose inspired the desired effect or not.  They appreciate
comments on style, plot, setting, and whether it turns us on.  I am not out to
butcher anybody's baby, which the writer through long hours -- if not days,
weeks or even years -- labored to give birth to the perfect story.   

In short, I want to comment on what I like to read, and in doing so, I wouldn't
mind helping the writers by giving feedback, along with pointing out various
stories to other like-minded individuals.  This I feel is not unlike
recommending a good book to a close friend with similar tastes.  

(That was deep, huh?  I promise that next time I won't be so introspective
because the Critical Review is not about me.  It's about the stories!) 

Having said that, let's get on with the reviews!

HOW DO I RATE THE STORIES AND/OR POETRY?

I rate the stories in three categories 

Technical = Grammar, Style, Diction, Structure, and Tone
Plot = Did the story have one?  Was it realistic?  Well done?  Etc.
Arousal = Did it "float my boat"? 


The Critical Review: Issue 2

INDEX OF REVIEWS:

"Wendy's Weekend"   by Captain Atom
"My Daughter's Roommate 1" by Day Dreamer
"Aunt Mable's Visit" by D.Abby
"Backyard" by Unknown

"Wendy's Weekend"  Friday (MF,FF)
From: captatom@thepentagon.com (Captain Atom)
NG:  ASSM
Date: Sun, 30 Nov 1997
Codes: N/A 
Final Rating:  A-

Every once in a while, I find a simple "fuck and suck" story that is well
written, hot and gets my juices flowing quite nicely.  This story happens to be
one of them as the author Captain Atom explains in his introduction.  I
couldn't find too many grammatical problems with this story because I wasn't
busy searching.  Instead, I found myself becoming engulfed in a very hot
fantasy world, which didn't have room for anybody without a strong libido and
an open mind.  True, the story was a bit far-fetched, but it was fun to read;
in fact, I thought it was very arousing.   

Wendy's a "Horny Slut" that sees life as an endless possibility for casual sex,
especially the hot and steamy kind.  She soon meets up with a variety of
like-minded individuals on campus.  Did I mention that she is the ultimate
horny coed, too?  That is right, she finds time to study between hot orgies,
which consist of threesomes, foursomes, etc.  Once you get past the
stereotypical characterization of women, then you find some down and dirty sex.
 

Detailed Ratings:
Technical: A-
Plot: B-
Arousal: A+  

"My Daughter's Roommate 1" by Day Dreamer 
From: cmndr@nym.alias.net (Commander Jameson)
Date: Sun, 30 Nov 1997 10:27:37 -0500 (EST)
Codes:  (MF, cons)

Sometimes, I like to read long stories, which I assume are as hard to write as
they are to review, which leads me to say that Day Dreamer has written a pretty
elaborate tale of an older gentleman, who happens to be a lonely widow, and his
daughter's roommate, Blondie.  But, that is not all folks, no sir/madam, then
we have a plot, which just happens to be a darn good one, too.  Sensually
written, well thought out, and easy to read.  The story is narrated by the
father, who decides that he needs to get back out in the social scene.  He
starts out with a nice going back to college celebration dinner with his
daughter and her roommate.  Ok, that is all I will say other than this is one
hot story.  Thank's for reposting it, Commander Jameson.  And thanks also to
Ole Joe for the second part?  Anyhow, good reading!   
  

"Aunt Mable's Visit" by D.Abby 
From: David Abuhove <dabby@access.mountain.net>
NG:  ASSM 
Date: Sun, 30 Nov 1997
Codes:  (bFbFMg, various combos,pedo,inc)
Rating: B-

WARNING:  This story may not be the type of story you usually read.  It deals
with underage children performing sexual actions.  

I decided to review this story for several reasons.  First, I understand that
many reviewers don't like the subject matter.  Well, I am not particularly fond
of this type of story myself, but I feel it is a very popular genre on
alt.sex.stories.  Therefore, I must review it.  I have no prefabricated ideals
that set an age limit to characters in stories, so I wouldn't say...nope, not
gonna read that story because the characters seem too young.  However, I want
realism, well at least a bit of realism.  Let's face it not many children I
know have the libido of Ted Kennedy, Clinton, or Debbie from Debbie Does
Dallas.  I think that is the only adult movie that I can remember with a title.
 I have seen a few, here or there, in my lifetime.  <grin>

However, I will do my best to give you an unbiased review.  How can I do this? 
Aww, give me some credit please. 

I hate to say it but the prelude to chapter one made me laugh.  I am not sure
if it was supposed to or not.  I see what the author was trying to do though. 
His hook was to give the impression of a twelve-year boy, who had been molested
at the age of four and eight years old.   The youngster, like all other
pedophile-like literature I have read, has a mature mind, which is far more
mature than his twelve allotted years should make him sound.  I respect this
character development.  Child abuse makes a kid grow up faster than most
children.  I saw the author try to foreshadow the innocence that would be lost
by showing us the innocence that he had already lost.  Does that make sense? 
Nevertheless, the combination of a mature twelve year old discussing the
difference between boys and girls seemed to make me cringe.  However, it
worked. 

Unbiased.  Yes, I should try harder.  I re-read the previous paragraph and
thought it was a bit harsh.  There are few grammatical errors; in fact, it was
very well written.  This story -- which is quite long to the extent that it
might be a novella -- does have a complicated plot and a substantial amount of
characterization, too.

Since I don't usually read stories of this nature, I only have a few fond
memories of stories to base any significant comparison.  But, I do remember a
very good story from a couple of months ago.  The lead character was sexual
abused by his neighbor/babysitter, Maryjane.  It was a well-written novella
that was written through the eyes of the victim (no that is not the right word
-- he was far from a victim of abuse because the narrator never felt any
victimization).  Perhaps, I'll post a review of that story as well if it is
reposted.  Could someone please tell me the title and author?  I would
appreciate it very much.  

Whereas the one story spanned many years with the relationship between his next
door neighbor MaryJane, this story is written in third person limited and
starts with several flashbacks before the aunt arrives.  Hence, he gives us
some characterization of both the child and his aunt.   

The parents are in on the shenanigans, too.  In fact, Milt and his wife know
exactly what is happening to young Art.  It seems that the whole family is in
on the secret?  I shall not give away the whole plot for those of you who like
a bit of surprise.  

There is both heterosexual and homosexual content in this story, so if that
makes you squeamish, then I suggest you skip the story.  Our main character has
several escapades with members of the same sex.  

If you are into this type of story, I suggest reading it.  Check the story
codes before you read this story.  Again, I don't hesitate in giving my opinion
of the material, yet I hope I did this story justice in the review.  

Detailed Rating:
Technical:  A-
Plot: A
Arousal: D+  (Sorry it's not my cup of tea, yet that can be helpful to help you
find the kind of story you like, too.)
Final Rating:  B-

"Backyard"
Author: Unknown <Said it was taken from www.serve.com/freexxx/>
Posted by: lt7068@aol.com (LT7068)
Date:  Mon, 01 Dec 1997
Codes: (M/M/M/F)
Final Rating: C

Since this was taken from a website and had no author recognition, I suspect
either the author was anonymous or it was stripped from the story.   Either
way, I downloaded the story based on the codes.  I admit it; I like to read
about multi-partner sex stories sometimes.  <grin>  The more the merrier,
right?

It was very sensual when he, the narrator, described the application of suntan
oil.  I was getting a bit worked up at this point.  His third hand was quite
skilled.  How come none of my male partners have such a skilled third
appendage?  Hmm.

He/she breaks up his prose with description of the other men, which didn't
really help the story out as much as many authors believe.  Another point, the
story does have non-consensual overtones within it.  Perhaps, the author should
have placed that in the codes?  

Grammatically, it was ok.  I enjoyed it, but was taken aback by the
non-consensuality of it.  .

Technical: B-
Plot: C
Arousal: C


Rosemary <roseymaryd@aol.com>
 



-- 
+--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+
| story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |
| Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ |
\ <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/>    .../assm/faq.html> /