Message-ID: <5911eli$9711281518@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/5911.txt>
From: roseymaryd@aol.com (RoseyMaryD)
X-Good-Line-Length: yes
Subject: {ASS} The Critical Review: Issue 1
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
Path: qz!not-for-mail
Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam
Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Original-Message-Id: <19971127030301.WAA01977@ladder01.news.aol.com>
X-Is-Review: yes
The Critical Condition: Issue 1
By RoseyMaryD@aol.com
INTRODUCTION
Greetings fellow readers, authors and reviewers,
The Critical Condition is a bi-weekly review of stories posted to
alt.sex.stories. I hope that it will be handy to you in your search for
quality stories to read. I like my counterparts, Celeste and Lady C, want to
help point out stories that are otherwise overlooked or lost in the vast
universe of the 'net.
WHAT IS THE REASON FOR ANOTHER REVIEWER IN ALT.SEX.STORIES?
I should give a reason; especially when there are already several reviewers out
here. I only speculate that the sheer good example of Celeste and Lady C are
to blame for my sudden endeavor. The explanation is very simple. It looks
like bloody good fun!
I shall get to read sensual, sexual, erotic stories and give my reactions to
them -- which basically is a job that I will take great pleasure in doing.
Hopefully.
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
1.) I have written several stories, myself. (Although, none have been
published on-line.)
2.) I have my masters in English.
3.) I love dirty stories.
4.) I am very sexual.
5.) I want to.
Hmm, let's get on with the reviews... Hopefully, we shall get to know each
other as time goes on. For now, I am happy with being a mystery -- an enigma
-- if you will.
-Rosey <RoseyMaryD@aol.com>
HOW DO I RATE THE STORIES AND/OR POETRY?
I rate the stories in three categories (not unlike Celeste801).
Technical = Grammar, Style, Diction, Structure, and Tone
Plot = Did the story have one? Was it realistic? Well done? Etc.
Arousal = Did it "float my boat"?
Reviews:
"Friendship" by Hawk Richards
"Surprise, Surprise" by The Poetic One
"One Fine Weekend" by Mr. G. Reaper
"Pussy Cats" by Candy Kane
"The Misadventures of Jane Jetson" by Cernovog
"Friendship"
Author: Hawk Richards <HawkRds@aol.com>
NG: ASSM
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 1997
Codes: (M/F)
Rating: A
This story took on the age old saying, "Let's just be friends." The narrator
paints a picture of mixed signals and sexual innuendo very well. I found his
sexual descriptions to be very erotic and sensual. All in all, the story was
executed well. His grammar was adequately above the normal a.s.s. story, but
still had one or two rocky moments. I have read some of his other writings and
feel he has grown substantially as a storyteller. I look forward to reading
more his work.
Detailed Ratings:
Technical: A-
Plot: A
Arousal: A+
"Surprise, Surprise" Parts 1 & 2
Author: The Poetic One <MarArch@ix.netcom.com)>
NG: ASSM
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997
Codes: (F/m, M/f, D/s, bond, etc.)
Rating: B
Some mischievous planning leads to some arousing play. The author seems to
know a bit about the BDSM world and the toys that come with it. Leather
fetishists and bondage lovers will love this story. At first, the writing
seemed a bit trite and ambiguous, but I found that as the story progressed it
became much easier to read. Still, I would love to see the author use a
spellchecker.
Delicious plot twists. I suggest reading this story.
Detailed Rating:
Technical: C
Plot: B
Arousal: B+
Final Rating: B
"One Fine Weekend"
Author: Mr. G. Reaper <MrReaper@DeathsDoor.com>
NG: ASSM
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997
Codes: (M/f, inc?, anal)
Rating: C+
This is Mr. Reaper's first story posted to alt.sex.stories. I sometimes wonder
why an author apologizes for any faults before we even get a chance to read the
story. It is apparent that he did not use a spellchecker as he stated in his
introduction, but I am getting ahead of myself. I actually sorta liked the
story.
It is apparent that he is trying to mimic another semi-well known writer on
A.S.S.M. Personally, the style doesn't really suit him. I found the prose
chaotic, choppy and awkward. He abused the typical setup of a sex story --
which means he told us the ages, breast sizes and other incidental trivia to
get the reader aroused, instead of letting us get caught up his tale. Did it
work? Somewhat. I found the story started to get better as I progressed. I
have noticed in my readings that many writers tend to fumble a bit in the
beginning of their tales. This leads me to believe that they are either in too
much of a hurry to get to the heart of the story or they just needed to type
into a good groove.
Let's see. We have a brother in-law, a sexy 19-year-old virgin, and a sticky
situation. I won't give away the plot, but the sex is very arousing. Before I
give the final rating, I wanted to mention that I didn't think the story was
non-consensual as the author hinted at in the storycodes. Personally, I
thought it was a mutual kinda thing.
Detailed Rating:
Technical: C
Plot: C
Arousal: B
Final Rating: C
"Pussy Cats"
Author: Candy Kane <GQKZ45C@prodigy.com> (CANDY KANE)
NG: ASSM
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997
Codes: (f/f)
Rating: C+/B-
This lesbian romp teeters precariously on the borderline between a schoolboy
fantasy and a wet dream. Several cheerleaders get together for a sleep over,
while the hostess of the party's parents are gone for the weekend. A couple of
six packs, a few joints and a porno movie later, the scantily clad girls are
busying themselves with the pleasures of the flesh. Did it turn me on? Yes.
Detailed Ratings:
Technical: C+/B-
Plot: C
Arousal: B-
Final Rating C+/B-
The Misadventures of Jane Jetson
Author: Cernovog <cernovog@servtech.com>
NG: ASSM
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997
Codes: (F/m, inc, pedo, beast)
Rating: C-
This story's title caught my attention. I mean, who doesn't love the Jetson's
cartoon? After reading this story, I wanted to wash my hands because I felt
dirty. Not because my personal biases cloud my review, but because I wanted to
wipe the disgust from my memory of such a fun cartoon. That is just my own
personal slant.
To give an apt review, I shall set aside my biases for the moment. We have a
basic Mother/son/dog storyline, which centers around a horny housewife, Jane
Jetson. I shouldn't give away the whole plot, yet after the first paragraph
you will be able to guess what is going to happen. She will seduce her son,
which won't be too hard because he is just a horny child. The only surprise
was the copulation with the dog, which wasn't very much of a surprise because
of the storycodes.
If you like a whimsical tale of incest mixed with a dash of bestiality, then I
suggest this story to you. But, if you are like me, skip it. I am sure I will
get flack for reviewing a story that I obviously wouldn't like, however I feel
it is important to let my readers know my tastes, especially since this is my
first issue.
Detailed Ratings:
Technical: C-
Plot: C
Appeal: D
Final Rating: C-
--
RoseyMaryD@aol.com
--
+--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+
| story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |
| Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ |
\ <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/> .../assm/faq.html> /