Message-ID: <5775eli$9711222338@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/5775.txt> From: The Future Polyandrium <polyandrium@hotmail.com.no.spam> Subject: Polyandrium Reviews 1, 11-22-97 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Reply-To: polyandrium@hotmail.com.no.spam Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <34770F0D.7B4C@hotmail.com.no.spam> X-Is-Review: yes hello to all, hello to all. recent observations of a.s.s.m have uncovered the fact that Celestial Reviews has a monopoly on the reviewing market, so to speak. so in the interests of being fair (and because i have too much spare time on my hands) i have decided to begin reviewing also. i'll do my best to review as much as i can, and to keep all reviews fair. i will be reviwing anywhere from three to possible as much as ten stories at a time. on to the reviews: pussy cats: (babykane) [f/f/f/f/f/f, cheerleader] though one may think there are an abundance of lesbian cheerleader stories, there don't seem to be enough to dedicate a header catagory to them. so it was with great interest that i began my reading of pussy cats. the plot is somewhat typical (cheerleader squad is _really_ close and eager to "recruit" hot new member at cheerleader party.) yet done well. the sexual activity within is done very well, especially after reading some pretty horrid stuff. however, as good as the sex may be, it doesn't cover up the critical weakness: lack of character devolpment. true, i know that when writing erotica, character devolpement is somewhat low on the list, but it's still a fundemantal part. in pussy cats, very little is done to distinguish the cheerleaders from another. most of them have NO PSYCHIAL DESCRIPTION whatsoever. not even how they look. if more time was devoted to description, the sex would be that much hotter. the only other weakness (one that is prevalent among erotica writers) is lack of "foreplay". i'd have liked it if more time was taken undressing each, describing each stage along the way. however, this is a well-written story. i'm looking for a sequal, one that will hopefully fulfill my squabbles. plot--------------- 6/10 - could have done more characters--------- 3/5 - more description needed. (looks, personality, etc.) sex---------------- 17/20 - needs to spend more time leading up/undressing length------------- 4/5 - more time for the finale. perhaps a sequal would fix this. writing quality---- 40/40 - what can i say? this guy knows his stuff appeal------------- 20/20 - i happen to have a thing for lesbian cheerleaders... >=> overall------------ 90/100 - hope to see more from this writer! the demon rapist: (imma scared) [M/F, rape, element of sci-fi] after reading this story, i have but one thing to say: ouch. this is one of the most brutal rape pieces i have ever read in my life. yet it isn't really just a rape story. this reminds me of one of those "inner workings of the psycho" movies. but the story has its flaws: the formatting is somewhat strange, with superscript 2's and 3's in the place of quotes, i didn't care for the sci-fi parts, voices in the head of a crazy man are nice, but i doubt they have the powers to do what they do. i do know that the writer did not intend for realisim in the story, yet if one were to remove all the aspects of omnisicence from the voices, the story would be more belivable, and more terrifying. on the positive side, most of the story is well-written, save for some grammitical errors here and there. i really don't care for extreamly brutal stories, but they can be good if done right. plot--------------- 6/10 - the sci-fi parts ruin a terrifying and credible story characters--------- 5/5 - nicely belivable, especially the demon rapist sex---------------- 16/20 - definately not hot, but for a brutal rape not bad length------------- 5/5 - any longer and it would be unbearable writing quality---- 20/40 - FIX THOSE QUOTES!!! appeal------------- 5/20 - i'm not a fan of brutality overall------------ 57/100 - fix the quotes and it would be respectable enough the twins fuck mom and teacher (rachel u) [M/F] blech. in a word that sums up this piece of terribly written, soddeningly plotted crap. first off, this seems to be nothing more than an adverstisment for some web site, secondly i wouldn't visit the site anyway. this story stinks. from the title it goes straight downhill, with routine sex and laughingly awful dialog. "come on honey, let's do it here!" and "OHH YES" are the best quotes i could find. despite the title, this is a before-the-wedding-day sex story, and a bad one at that. bad bad bad. it doesn't even have an ending, for that convienence one must visit the website given. i thought this was a spam-free newsgroup! plot--------------- 0/10 - HAH! characters--------- 1/5 - at least caroline is a blond sex---------------- 1/20 - *lmao* length------------- 5/5 - at least it's nice and short. MERCY! writing quality---- 0/40 - no comment appeal------------- 5/20 - i'm not a fan of stuff this bad overall------------ 12/100 - if the site is like this then it's a horrible site. and that concludes this issue of the Polyandrium Reviews. any comments/questions/flames can go to my e-mail address. make sure to remove the no.spam. -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/> .../assm/faq.html> /