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From: dez187lm@hotmail.com (H.D. Meister)
Subject: Story:  Monks Two:  Hard Master - monks001.txt [1/1]
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Greetings from the SHadows, dear reader!  As usual, all standard
disclaimer apply.  PLease direct all comments to dez187lm@hotmail.com
and I will reply in kind as sooon as possible.  If you are not 18 or
live in a community where adunt material is unwanted, do not rad
this!!

Also... do not make a profit off of my work!!  It is meant to be
archievd for the free viewing pleasure of all consenting adults!!

_______________________________________________________________________




The Vigil of the Heart: Master Pak:  Hard Style By:  H.D. Meister





There's a single candle burning in my room at night, and if anyone
dares fuck with it, I'll make sure they spend eternity getting the ass
kicking they deserve.  It's a reminder of what I could have had.

There are times when I look into the mirror, staring at the coldness
within my eyes.  The face which looks back is hard.  Unfeeling.
Emotionless.  it doesn't care about anything except survival at any
cost.  Any cost.  Soul?  That's just another dollar bill to be used to
by a meal to tide me over until I can find a mark to rob.  Heart?
Spent money.

So why the candle?  Once... several years ago, I cared.  She was taken
from me by some drunk bastard with a fancy car and a hig priced
lawyer.  He walked;  she died.  My parents and hers made sure I didn't
know his name;  they knew that I wanted nothing more than to hear his
last breath scrape across his lips as I choked the life from his
worthless slug of a body.

Her name, just so you don't ask and I won't have to rip your tongue
out through your asshole, is Sandra.  She and I have known each other
since we came out the womb.  Born on the same day to women who were
closer than sisters.  We played together.... lived our lives together.
There was nothing we didn't know about each other.  Hell... I was the
first one she told when her period first showed its red head.  Yeah...
there was nothing we hid from each other... almost.

I never told her when I felt the coldness frost my heart.  I saw my
roommate in college use women for his pleasure.  At first, I was
disgusted.  At first.  I wanted to talk hm into changing his ways.  At
first.  Then I changed.  I don’t know when I began to think of him as
less than human, and it really don’t matter much.  One night, after
breaking a girls heart... with a smile on his face... I broke three of
his ribs.  Along whit both arms, his jaw and one leg.  I don’t know
if he’s changed, but I know he remembers that lesson:  be careful
what you do.

When I last saw Sandra, I knew something was up.  Oh... she was still
as cheerful as ever, but I knew something that no shrink would ever be
able to pull from her.  That night we spent most of the time talking.
Seems it was a love thing, something I knew nothing about.  Or maybe I
did... with her.  That was the night we made love.

Some things you can’t forget, no matter how hard they try to
brainwash you.  I will never forget the softness of her lips as they
kissed mine.  I can’t simply toss aside the soft warmth of her
breasts as I buried my face between them.  I can taste her sweetness
on my lips even three years after her death.  I remember seeing the
light in her eyes when she and I both knew that we had loved each
other since birth.

Actually... I lied.  I did forget one thing.  I forget how it felt to
have tab A in slot B.  Not that it matters;  that night was more than
a simple fuck.  I’m pretty sure She gave me a blowjob, but I can’t
remember it as such.  To me... she was worshiping Love... not sucking
my dick.  Yeah... there are some things which a man doesn’t need to
remember.

I don’t care if anyone understands;  it ain’t important.  What is
important to me is survival.  She always wanted me to be the best that
I could be.  And she told me so.  My parents never did;  all they did
was bitch and moan.  Fuck ‘em.  I never heard a kind word from a
teacher wihich wasn’t painted on their lips.  Fuck ‘em.  I don’t
even try to find a woman to replace her, and I get rather ill when a
woman approaches me.  All they want is sex.  All they want is a stiff
dick.  Fuck ‘em.  Fuck ‘em all.  They can’t replace Sandra.

When I go to sleep at night, I see her face.  I can feel her touch
against my hard, stone cold flesh.       I hear her call my name.  MY
NAME!  I can feel her ride the wave of pleasure which crashed against
us that night.  I know truly what it is to beloved.  No need to feel
the cock-in-cunt... that’s just academic bullshit.  Even if all we
did was hug, I would know what Love truly was.

Now... It’s gone.  Taken from be by some stupid bastard too drunk to
even get it up.  Not even man enough to try to please a woman with
what he was given.  I want to go to Hell first... just to watch his
fat ass fall into the pits with me.  And I’ll be there.  I will be
his personal tormentor.  I will be there, peeling each strip of flesh
from his body.

I knew love once.  Now... I am hard.  I know nothing but the coldness
which has been my meat and wine.  I knew true pleasure with a woman,
not the quick release of a one shot fuck.  I knew what it was to be
human.  Now... I am hard.

So I keep a candle lit, hoping beyond hope that Sandra will come back,
knowing she never will.  I watch for her when the night grows cold and
hard.  I hope she will kiss me... free me from the coldness within me
now.  I long to feel the warmth of her body.  I want... desire... her.
Not the body which everyone sees... I want HER.  I NEED her.


I just came back from the hospital.  Seems the bum who killed Sandra
needed a heart transplant, and Sandra’s was a match.  I almost killed
the doctor who was about to go ahead with the transplant.  That scum
deserved to die.  There was no way I would let him keep sucking wind
with her heart in him.  It was too pure... to human.  I heard that he
smiled when they let him off.  Ain’t no way in Hell I’ll let him
have her.  HE took her from ME!

I wathced him beg for his miserable life, and rememberd her smile.  I
remember her touch against my cheek.  I remember feeling alive as our
bodies slid across each other.  I feel the warmth of her heart.  I
feel it beat as I close my hands around her breasts.  I remember.  And
I wathced him die.

Each breath slipped away, taking Life from him.  I felt nothing.  Fuck
him.  He took from me the one thing which made me human.  Sandra would
have know how to bring me back from the cold.  Too late now.  I
watched him die.  Then I walked away...   just walked away.

Somewhere, three dorrs away, a young lady was in the same position.
She was one day away from getting Sandra’s heart.  I walked towards
her room, and looked in.  I saw a young man crying beside her bed.
Seems that there was not another match.  She was going to die.  He
looked up, and I saw.

He was following me.  Soon, he would join me in the coldness.  Not
gonna happen tonight.  The cold is MY home.  I could see the times
these two had spent together.  I could see him caress her soft skin in
the moonlight.  I watched him make love to her soul, not just the
beautiful body which everyone else saw.  The cold is MY home.  I made
the doctor give Sandra’s heart to her.  I watched as this unknown
woman was given another chance.

What were the odds that two people would need her heart, and were so
close together?  I don’t care;  I was given the chance to avenge the
woman I loved.  And I did.  The bastard who took her life lay dead,
and I would piss on his grave and dare his spirit to rise up and
torment me.  I saw the man cry with joy.  And I walked away.


The candle still burns bright.  I still wait.  And if you don’t like
it, hold still... I want to remember you face before I cave the fucker
in.

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