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From: sapphire@mhv.net (Sapphire)
Subject: NEW TG: Patricia  ( 3/ 52 )
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Hi folks - A NEW multi-part Transgender story ! 
(Posted with written permission from the author!)

Enjoy!
Sapphire
Sapphire's Place TG Fiction Archive
Sapphire's Channel - Pointcast and Webcast TG Fiction
( http://www1.mhv.net/sapphire )

All the Warnings to Minors are in effect. There are parts that some
feel could corrupt your young minds.

----The Story Follows----------------------------------------
Chapter 3

For a moment or so, I would forget, but another movement
of my body, brought back the feeling of complete change.  And if I
could ignore these sensations, I would pass in front of a mirror and
see myself, my alien self, that very curious woman I had become. 
Or I would move my much more diminutive arms in front of my eyes
and notice their startling lack of body hair and see those longer
nails painted a shocking pink.  It was very distracting to my mind.

     And if the long hair, swinging around my face and shoulders
and if this new sensation in my groin wasn't bad enough, the jiggle
of the breasts was the most disconcerting effect of my new body.
These new boobs sort of bounced with each step, an unnatural and
very unstable weight on my chest, a annoyance I could well do
without.

     In spite of my feelings for my lost manhood, I went back to
the bedroom, opened the top drawer and picked out a bra, one that
looked like it would hold my breasts firmly in place.  I removed my
jersey, and then put my arms through the loops, adjusted the cups
over my breasts and then tried to fasten the damn contraption,
blindly, behind my back.  I saw the two pair of hooks and the three
pair of loops and struggled for a moment and finally got it fastened. 
I looked down and saw the cleavage between  those protruding
mounds encased in this feminine garment and felt like a damn
queer.  Upon further contemplation, I decided it wasn't like a queer,
more just a feeling of weird unreality.  

     Pulling the jersey back over my head and freeing my hair
from it's confines, I walked back into the living room, relieved to
find that the bouncing of the breasts, if not eliminated, was greatly
reduced.  Well, at least I had discovered at least one of the
reasons woman wear brassieres.

     I went to the telephone on the desk and dialed the operator,
figuring that I would at least find out where I was and what options I
could had, but the dial tone turned into a recorded voice, "This
phone has been programmed  for incoming calls only.  Thank you
for calling."

     I realized that I was a prisoner in this rather nice apartment. 
I didn't know why or  what I was being kept for.  Then my mind
started to wildly think of reasons.  I had the body of a girl, a
female
and possibly of a prostitute.  Maybe I was here only for various
men, men who paid for the pleasure of my company.  I thought
about this and decided this made no sense.  A man could pick up
many equally nubile girls off the street and control them for a lot
less than had been spent on me.  This sex conversion must have
cost thousands of dollars.  They why?

     I wondered around the apartment, looking at the various
furnishings, feeling my vulva and new boobs with every step.  I
wasn't worried at the moment of how I would approach my friends,
my parents, my sisters, or ever Kathy as I wasn't about to approach
anyone.  I was a captive in this damn apartment, but at the
moment, wasn't too anxious to escape.

     I threw myself on the couch in the living room, and was
surprised to feel tears running down my cheeks.  I was crying,
something I hadn't done since I was five years old, but it was very
real.   I had been a man for twenty-six years and now I wasn't a
man any longer.  I was just a hopeless female freak,  and suddenly
I thought, "I wonder if I can get pregnant."  I just couldn't
comprehend this possibility, but it just might be a likelihood with
this new body. 

     Pregnancy, me pregnant.  A completely alien thought to my
male mind.  For twenty six years I had been male and always
planned on eventually being a father and had always been
intrigued and sexed up by pregnant girls.  But now I seemed to be
a girl.  I tried to imagine what pregnancy would be like, but really
couldn't.  In fact, I couldn't imagine the act that would get me
pregnant.  Oh bullshit, I wouldn't even consider this bizarre
thought.  I may have a female body, but I was still completely male
in my thoughts and mental processes.  And I couldn't really believe
that I really had been changed in spite of the evidence that
confronted me as I saw my self in a mirror or touched nearly any
part of my body.

     I wiped the tears off of my cheeks with the back of the hand
and got a grip on my emotions.  And somehow, I felt just a bit better
having had the little mental breakdown.  Maybe I shouldn't have
given up crying when I was five.  

     I got up off the couch noticing my jersey jutting out from my
chest, not laying flat against my masculine chest, but looking very
feminine with the mounds of my new bosom quite evident.  And the
hair that had fallen over my shoulders and down over the breasts
enhanced this new sensation of femininity.

     I pulled the hair up in both hands and gave it a yank, felt the
pull at the roots, and then let it fall back down my back.  

     It suddenly occurred to me that I could check the computer
and find out today's date with no trouble.  I walked over, switched
on the monitor and CPU, and waited for the computer to boot.  It
came up on a windows screen and I immediately accessed the
accessory window and double clicked on the clock icon.  The
computer came back with 8:43 AM. May 4, 1993. I removed the
clock from the screen when suddenly the normal windows screen
was replaced by a message screen informing me of E-Mail waiting
to be read.

     I clicked on the mailbox icon and then the In box icon and
saw a letter addressed to Ms. Patricia Browning from the Staff of
the Sinway Institute.  I clicked on the line and soon was reading the
following letter.


Dear Ms. Browning,

     The staff of the Sinway Institute wants to give you our best
wishes in your new endeavor, the odyssey you have voluntarily
undertaken.  Although none of us have ever really met you, that is
in a conscious state, we all feel we are very close to you and hope
you are pleased with our work.

     You have our extreme gratitude for volunteering to undergo
a complete male to female transformation.  You are the first
controlled experiment in the sexual conversion of a completely
normal male into a completely normal female.  Of course we have
done this transformation on many transsexuals and a number  of
psychotic homosexuals, but you are the first completely
heterosexual male to agree to this operation.  We are all anxiously
awaiting the results of this experiment.

     You have undoubtedly awakened in your transitional
apartment and we will be eagerly awaiting the first tapes of your
awakening.  Of course you realize that many of your actions and
sounds will be captured on video tape, as the sitting room in your
living area has video camera's that are triggered by any motion in
the area.  But we can assure you that only trained scientists will be
allowed to see these video's and I am sure you can live quite
normally most of the time.  But please talk up occasionally and
audibly express any thoughts and comments you have on this
transformation.

     You know, no, probably you don't know, but we at the
Institute tried to make you into the most beautiful woman we could. 
We figured that if we were going to take away your  manhood, you
should get the best out of the deal we could manage.  And all in all,
we think we did a very credible job of it.  You are a very beautiful
woman now.

     The more normal way of progressing through this change
from  male to female would be the administering of female sexual
hormones, some cosmetic surgery and having you live as a female
for at least a year before the final sex change surgery.  But as your
lawyer insisted that you be kept under sedation through the entire
process, we did the entire process at one time.

     Female genitalia have been constructed on your body and
you have been implanted with a complete compliment of female
sex organs.  The donor was a nineteen year old Norwegian
exchange student, blond, nearly six feet tall, very pretty, extremely
intelligent,   but unfortunately killed in a motorcycle accident.  You
now have her sexual organs including her uterus, fallopian tubes,
and ovaries and all of her genetic eggs residing in her ovaries.

     Which brings up a very important point.  You must continue
taking medication, two times a day, cyclosporine, prednisone and
Immurane plus a couple of other drugs to counter act some of the
side effects of these immune suppressants.  I am sure you wouldn't
want to reject these new transplanted female organs.

     Your teeth were worked on so you have a perfect smile, 
Then the facial surgery which was fairly extensive.  Your male face
was quite acceptable, but there were a few flaws and male
characteristics which have been corrected in your new female
physique.  Then a very expensive hair enhancement to give you
that long and lovely  hair you now sport.  Finally complete
electrolysis over your face and upper body to rid you of your beard
and body hair, some surgery to your rib cage, hands and feet to
make your physique more moderate, and hormone treatments and
liposuction to build your very adequate breasts and reduce your
stomach.  The female hormones took care of the rest,  expanding
your hips and both reducing your male musculature and adding a
slight layer of feminine adipose, or subcutaneous fatty tissue to the
rest of your body.

     And finally, there was the voice.  Three separate operations
were required, but we think we accomplished our goal.  Each time
your vocal cords were reduced in thickness and tightened to make
you voice higher until it was within the normal range of a natural
female.  You should have the speaking voice of an contralto and
the singing range of a mezzo soprano.

     And now Patricia, you are as close to a natural female as is
currently medically possible.  No doctor could ever tell you weren't
born female and only a chromosome test would indicate your true
natural gender.   And we believe that you are a fertile female, i.e.,
you could become pregnant and give birth.  We will know better
after you have experienced  two or three menstrual cycles.   Your
first mensual period should start within the next month.  And of
course you realize that any children you may conceive will
genetically be the child of your organ donor, not of yourself. 
However, we took the liberty of getting sperm samples from you
and you can be artificially inseminated with the sperm of your male
identity and thus would be the natural father and birth mother of
any resulting issue.

      However, you most likely have a completely male mind, a
past life living as a male, thinking, acting, and emoting as a male
and this adjustment to the female is the purpose of this entire
research project.

     We will be observing your next two weeks progress in this
transition and then we will meet you for the first time as a woman
during your first checkup at the Sinway Institute.  

     You have our best and we wish you well in your odyssey
through the sexes.

               
          Sincerely,

          Dr. Milton Felding       Chief Surgical Gynecologist
          Dr. Morlie Lu               Staff Immunologist
          Dr. Marie Rosmore      Staff Psychologist
          Dr. Marvin DeVries       Chief Resident


     Well, now I knew what had happened to me, just not why.  I
hadn't volunteered for anything, in fact had never in my life been
much of a volunteer.  And I definitely had not volunteered for a sex
change.  In fact I couldn't imagine any normal male agreeing to
such a unnatural operation.  But the Sinway Institute obviously
thought I had volunteered and knew where I was at the present
time.  I just couldn't believe that they were keeping me prisoner in
this place.  I thought of voicing my idea's verbally and loudly but
then thought better of it.  I first had to find out who had been
responsible and why.

     I saved the letter and saw that I had another one. This one
was also addressed to  Ms. Patricia Browning and was from Mr.
Richard Culler.  Richard was an old friend, no, more of an
acquaintance but we had a few beers together, played tennis and
he had even offered me a position in one of his companies. 
Incidentally, Richard Culler was a fairly young man who had made
millions in real estate and various entrepreneurial business.    I
clicked on this one and saw the following.


Pat, or should I say Patricia,

     Congratulations on your new persona, or at least on your
new physique.  By now you should be already starting your
adjustment to your new sex.  And you are probably wondering,
"Why me?"

     Well, this was simply a matter of numbers.  One, two and
three.  One is obviously Kathy, and two is either you or me, and the
three the odd man out.   I just decided to change the numbers a bit. 
Now it is just one and two.  One for you, Patricia, and two for Kathy
and me.  Simple and sweet.  No bother, no fuss and no legal
recriminations, at least nothing that would hold up in court.

     I am an extremely successful businessman and you were
nothing but a young moderately paid engineer.   However,  you had
Kathy and I am in love with her.  Trying to get you out of the
picture, I offered you a job in South America, but you refused.  I
then considered assassination, but that could get a bit sticky.  So
finally came up with the perfect solution.  A sex change from male
to female seemed the best way that would effectively and
perpetually take you out of the picture or at least out of Kathy's
life. 

     I am truly sorry for this course of action, Pat, but I could
think of no better alternative.  I always get what I want and you
were something of an obstacle.

     And it was really quite easy.  I know that research hospitals
are always in need of money and the Sinway Institute was no
exception.  I just gave the institution five million dollars provided
they did this very explicit type of research and offered to give a
million dollars to the first normal and acceptable male volunteer. 
And sure enough, you did volunteer, even if it did take just a little
coercion.  

     It was all very simple.  I just gathered you in and brought
you under drugs to the clinic.   My lawyers had already laid all the
ground work.  Your contract with the Institute stated that the entire
process be performed while you were unconscious.  The contract 
was religiously executed.

     I also provided the apartment and outfitted it with the TV
camera's and audio pickups and the staff at the clinic don't really
realize that all communications are subject to my censure.  And if I
were you, I would keep this fact as a confidence.  First, the staff
would just assume it was your rejection of the contract, and
second, you have much to lose financially.  You see, I did keep my
part of the bargain and I have settled one million dollars on you,
provided you keep this little bargain just between the two of us.

     So before you start talking,  just think what you have to lose. 
And I might have some more surprises for you, pleasant surprises,
before we are done.

     Well, that it for now.  I will remain in contact.  You can reply
by addressing anything to Rich@Culler.com in your E-Mail.  Oh,
and remember, that all of the recorded tapes are sent through my
electronics center and I can and will edit them before the Clinic
sees any of them.  

     Take care, my new beautiful young girl.  I will be watching
your progress with even more interest than the Institutes.   Just
relax and enjoy your new sex.

     Incidently, I have stocked your new library with many books
on feminine grooming.  You would be well advised to read some of
them.  Being a woman after twenty-six years as a man has to be
just a bit bewildering.



               With love and affection,

               Richard Culler


     I saved that letter also, and the computer reverted back to
the Window's screen.  I left the computer and went and sat in the
chair.  Some of my hair had fallen over my shoulder and I found
myself playing with it, slowly stoking it and curling it around my
fingers.  But I was really thinking.  And now I knew both the how
and the why of this cruel sexual transition that had been forced
upon me.  This was a complete travesty of everything I had ever
believed in.  I was still very male, at least mentally.  It was just,
at
least temporarily, I had a rather feminine body.  Unfortunately, I
really understood that the new body wasn't just a temporary thing,
but most likely quite permanent.  I suspected that I was stuck in
this new guise for the remainder of my life, a fact I couldn't readily
accept.

     I thought of the girls on television, the models in the ads,
and also of the girls I had know throughout my life.  Somehow,
these visions didn't seem nearly as alien as my own body seemed
to me now.  I thought of the girls I had known quite well and they
seemed quite happy and normal, not all that much different than
my self.  At first, when I didn't know them, just looking at their
very
lovely bodies and faces, I thought of them as alien creatures. Then
when we became close friends, they became just like my self, well
very little difference in our normal contacts.  And if we got sort of
close and made love, or at least necked just a little, it was a third
feeling, close to being like me but wonderfully different at the same
time. But this was when I was a complete male, and not a male
mentality in a female body.  I felt like I was going insane and I knew
this unwanted transformation was absolutely and completely
untenable.  Unfortunately, it also seemed to be irrevocable.
     I decided that I had better get used to my new gender or at
least make greater efforts to accept it.  I knew enough about sex
conversion to know that male to female were much more
successful than female to male.  The female genitalia could be
constructed in the male, but the male genitalia was impossible to
adequately duplicate in the female.  I was on a one way trip, like it
or not.  I might be able to reverse the voice, have a mastectomy
and rid myself of these breasts, but the best I could hope for in the
real important sex organs were prosthetic balls and a lifeless
artificial prick. And I would also have to decide if I wanted this
lifeless prick to piss or to fuck.  It couldn't do both. This wasn't
very
attractive alternative.  But living the rest of my life as a woman was
nearly as bad.  Well, nearly but not quite, I decided.

     I walked back to the bedroom, opened the closet door with
the mirror and just looked at my new body.  Trying to blank my
mind to the shock of this tremendous metamorphis, I had to admit
that I looked quite delightful as a female.  I had a nice face, if not
a
beautiful one, a good girlish build and looked quite healthy.  For a
moment I figured that much worse could have been done to me,
mutilating me in even a more drastic manner.  What if I had just
lost my balls and prick and left in the same body, or even worse,
amputating my sex organs along with my arms and legs and left me
as a torso in a basket.  But this hadn't happened and here I was
with all my facilities and a fairly decent body although drastically
changed.

     But then again, if I was going to spend the rest of my life as
a female, I better give it some thought.  First, what had I lost.
Upon
contemplation, nearly everything.  My job, my fianc , my family and
my friends would all be gone.  I was like a new entity in this world. 
I just hoped I could salvage at least something of my family, but I
wasn't too sure.  They were quite liberal, but not extremely so in
the matter of quirky sex, and a sex change was about as quirky as
you can get.  I would at least try and rescue something and figured
that Carolyn, my older sister was my best bet.  My job was down
the drain.  I couldn't do anything to save it.  And Kathy, Richard
was correct in that I was out of the picture concerning her and this
hurt the most. She would never look at me again, let alone really
believe that I was still Pat.

     Ah, my Kathy I nearly wept and felt very much like I had lost
her by her death.  But it wasn't her death, it was more like mine.  I
was dead as a man, no longer existent.   It was a heart rendering
emotion.  Just thinking of her sent the emotions welling through out
my body and mind.  The conversations, the meals, the sports and
the loving, all intertwined with each other in my mind and now, all
were lost to me.

     As far as my friends went, I didn't have that many close
friends that I saw frequently, and the others could just accept me or
reject me, provided I chose to reveal my self to them.

     Then, what had I gained in this transition.  Well, I seemed to
have quite an attractive female body and Richard said he gave me
a million dollars.  At eight percent, a million dollars would give me
a
life time income of $80,.000, more that I made at Herman Miller. 
That was definitely a big plus and one that gave me some room to
maneuver.  But could I trust this bastard?  Probably not.

     Maybe I could get another job, although any job I captured
as a women would probably be less challenging than the one I held
as a man.  But then I thought, I don't have a past.  My Industrial
Engineer degree and my M.B.A. are in the name of Patrick
Browning and Patricia Browning doesn't officially exist.  And no
credit cards, no drivers license, no Social Security number
accompanied my new gender.  In fact, I was literally, "a woman
without a country" as I had no birth certificate either that specified
my recently acquired sex.  Officially at least, I was a non-entity.

     Then I realized I had accepted Richard's name for me,
Patricia.  Well, it was about as close to Patrick as a woman could
get and I sort of liked the various nicknames that accompanies this
formal given name, that is, Patsy, Patty, Pat, Trish, Trisha.  All
seemed just fine at the moment.  But I really was still Patrick James
Browning, at least mentally if not physically.

     I decided to "speak" to the Sinway group.  Out loud I started
talking, and was immediately tongue tied by my new voice.  The
voice seemed to have completely changed and sounded much
more like my sister's or Kathy's than my own.  I hated it, but after a
pause I continued.

     "Comment to the Sinway Institute."  I started and my voice
just rang in my ears with it's much higher pitch and lighter timbre.  
"This is my first comment on my new sex and I sincerely wish it
hadn't happened.  Until now, I have believed that the essence of a
human was all important and the sex nearly incidental But I now
know that was fallacious  thinking.  A male mind in a female body is
not a pleasant experience and leaves one with a total sense of
disorientation.

     And how am I am to react to this female body I now inhibit? 
My sexual orientation is still that of a male with no change resulting
from my physical conversion.  And as I have never had much of a
predilection toward same sex dalliances, the future holds little
sexual satisfaction for me.  That is because I am now physically a
female and mentally a male, both sexes are somewhat off limits to
me now."

     "I have just realized that I have lost my entire past and have
nothing with which to build a future.  Even a sexless future is better
than no future.  Can you do anything to help, like providing a birth
certificate that states my new gender, a driver's license, school and
college records, and even employment records.  Right now, I don't
exist in the legal reality of our society.  Please help me in my
dilemma."

     "As far as the sex change it self, I am completely convinced I
was an idiot to ever agree, money or not.  I am not a girl, but a man
and will always be a man, no matter what was done to my body. 
Your experiment was not necessarily a failure, maybe even a
success if you were just testing a hypothosis that the mind would
change with the body.  But I am convinced that no normal male
could ever be adjusted to the female life.  I don't even know where
to begin to try.  End of comment."


     Then I added, just as an afterthought for the record, an
absolute lie and fabrication.

     "As an afterthought, I was wrong when I agreed to this
monstrous contract.  I now regret it completely and just wish that I
could reverse it.  But it can't be reversed, so I will just live my
life
as best I can in the future."

     Well, that was off my chest.  I got up off the couch and
walked into the kitchen and saw that it was just after nine o'clock in
the morning.  I didn't know what to do with myself.  I had no aim in
life, no purpose, nothing to strive to accomplish.  I just felt
violated
and wanted to scream, hit something, or do anything to let this
tension inside of me express itself.  I just smoothed the hair away
from my face and stretched out my jersey hoping my breasts would
somehow disappear.  I was locked into this apartment, but that was
only psychological as I didn't want out very much anyway.  
 
     Not really knowing why, I went into the study and sat down
in front of one of the book cases and started examining the books.
And even this simple motion exemplified the differences in the
male and female physiology.

     This particular bookcase was filled with the classics of the
ages, Plutarch, Sophocles, Plato, Dostoevski, James, Melville,
Shakespeare, Chaucer, Rousseau, and  the later authors, Gide,
Baldwin, Shaw (both Bernard and Irwin) and many others.  It was a
very complete collection of the great works of philosophy and
literature.
     I scooted along the floor to the second bookcase and saw it
was lined with reference works, eight dictionaries, four in English,
one Russian, one French, one Spanish, and one Greek.  There
were also three Thesaurus's, and many more specific tombs like a
medical dictionary, six or more history books, and about anything
else one could desire or need.

     The third bookcase was filled with "How To" books.  Every
thing from Plumbing to Carpentry to Gardening to Computers.  The
last bookcase was nothing but books on female topics.  The titles
that were there indicated such subjects as hair care, cosmetics,
skin care, and feminine hygiene, fashions, sewing, cooking, and
nearly anything else a girl might want to reference.  I found one
that was titled "The Woman and Her Body" and pulled it out and
decided that should probably be my first thing I should read.

     I settled down in one of the easy chairs and opened the
book and started reading.  I had the required sex education
courses in high school, then college biology, and  ten years of
knowing and playing with females, but now I knew, I really didn't
know anything in depth about the female body and I had better
learn something more quite quickly.

     I spent nearly two hours immersed in this book and it was
very informative.  A lot of the facts I was already cognoscente
about, but many more were facets of the female body were
explained and I was absorbing this information like a sponge.  And
at the end of the two hours, I wasn't a very happy camper.  And
obviously the book was largely devoted to the reproductive organs
of the female body and I just couldn't believe that these same
organs were now part of my body.  But the letter from the Sinway
Institute said I was now female in every way and had to assume
that I was just like the typical woman described in the book.

-- 
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