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From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: Celestial Reviews 169 - April 2
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Celestial Reviews 169 - April 2, 1997
Note: EVEN HOMER NODS! In CR 168, I tried to be clever. Recalling an old
saying oft repeated by my maternal grandfather about my father, {"He can't
think and chew gum at the same time!"}, I misapplied the metaphor. I stated
in CR 168 that I COULD both perform fellatio and chew gum at the same time.
Several people have written to ask whether my husband minds when I do this.
{"That's why some women think oral sex is kinda sticky!"} I suppose I could
try to wiggle my way out of this, but I think I'll just admit that I wasn't
thinking and I used the wrong metaphor. Just for the record, I haven't
chewed gum in years; nothing personal - I just don't like the stuff, and I
found myself accidentally biting my tongue too often. On the other hand, my
husband HAS tried menthol cough drops during cunnilingus....
Second Note: Relevant to the preceding note, here's one of the earliest sex
jokes I can recall. A guy and girl were French kissing. When they broke for
air, the guy said, "I got your gum!" "No you didn't," replied the girl; "I
cleared my throat." {That joke kept me away from French kissing through a
major part of high school!}
Third Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my stories for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Steel and Iron" by Sarah Fox Jahn (quickie) 10, 9, 9
"Garden of Contemplation" by Delta (rape and retribution)
10, 10, 10
"Alice's Adventures on Wonderland Avenue" by Maggie the Cat
(dreamlike sex) 7, 7, 7
"The Laundromat" by Shadow (laundromat sex) 4, 2, 2
"The Goodnight Kiss" by Summer's Rose (sleepy sex) 10, 10, 10
"The Pleasure of Family Hiking" by Sleazy Liz (outdoor orgy)
9, 10, 10
"On the Job Benefits" by J Boswell (slutty wife) 10, 9, 9
"Massage" by Dulcinea (sexy massage) 10, 10, 10
"Breakfast in Bed" by Dulcinea (sexy reward) 10, 10, 10
"Vortrek" by Uther Pendragon (sexy memories & romance)
10, 10, 10
* "Sondra's Day" by Pete Ferrer (romance) 8, 10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted)
"Steel and Iron" by Sarah Fox Jahn (sfj3212@tam2000.tamu.edu). In this "A+
Story" the woman is being fucked quick and hard by the man she refers to as
her Master. Her goal is to give him pleasure. and she does so very
graphically, much to her own gratification as well.
Ratings for "Steel and Iron"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Garden of Contemplation" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). The narrator has
raped a young woman. Instead of keeping the event secret or going to the
Law, she turns him over to the Society. He is given a short trial and is
sentenced to 90 minutes of mandatory Contemplation. That's all - except that
if he fails to meet certain conditions or if he makes certain requests
additional consequences will follow. Of course, since Contemplation takes
place in an open, public area and in a kneeling position, some support is
necessary; and all that is available is a set of electronically charged ball
bearings that support the buttocks through the anal aperture. You can well
imagine....
There have been many stories on a.s.s. that have attempted to give intense
portrayals of rape. Some of those stories have been vivid and realistic. I
have counseled people who have been raped, and I do NOT believe that rape is
fun. However, I understand that it can be pleasurable (and perhaps even
harmless) for a man to fantasize about raping a woman or for a woman to
fantasize about the "pleasures" that could occur during the act of rape.
The present story takes a different approach. The portrayal of the initial
rape is realistic, but not vivid or erotic. The retribution is both
realistic and vivid, but not erotic - at least I HOPE you don't get turned on
by this sort of activity.
It's difficult to tell you more without ruining the story for you. I
strongly recommend this story - but not when you are looking for a turn-on.
Use it as part of your Contemplation time.
Ratings for "Garden of Contemplation"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Alice's Adventures on Wonderland Avenue" by Maggie the Cat
(ez045395@chip.ucdavis.edu). Alice bumps into her new neighbor in the
laundry room. She doesn't get to meet him, but she discovers that he has a
mannequin that looks just like Alice. In addition, the man seems to have a
proclivity to "borrow" Alice's clothes to dress that mannequin. This
presents no real problem; but one day when Alice is walking alone, she
discovers that she is being stalked. She sneaks into a porn theater to hide,
but her pursuer follows her and jerks off in the seat behind her while he
breathes heavily and Alice gets turned on. Not to worry - Alice has a can of
mace, and the man has beautiful hands with which he fondles Alice's hair
while she comes in a technicolor orgasm, before going into a quasi-hypnotic
trance, during which the guy leaves the theater while the humpsters keep
doing their thing on the screen. Alice goes home and writes about this in
her journal; she says this is the strangest thing that has ever happened to
her. But not for long! This looks like it could go on forever.
Ratings for "Alice's Adventures on Wonderland Avenue"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"The Laundromat" by Shadow (THC repost). Who says there are no really bad
stories on this newsgroup? The main value of this story is that it makes the
previous story look a lot better by comparison. In this story a woman gets
fucked in the laundromat by a sexy stranger - maybe.
Ratings for "The Laundromat"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 2
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 2
"The Goodnight Kiss" by Summer's Rose (sumersrose@aol.com). The man is very
tired and needs to fall asleep, but his lover is in a playful mood. She
tells him to just go ahead and fall asleep while she fondles and makes love
to him, but he somehow becomes aroused and turns the tables on her. What a
nice idea!
Ratings for "The Goodnight Kiss"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Pleasure of Family Hiking" by Sleazy Liz. This story was posted as
"hotOhike.txt" by someone else as part of a set of stories by Boswell, and so
I suspect that Sleazy Liz may be a pseudonym for Jay Boswell. He can write
to me and repudiate authorship if he wants; but this is a very good story,
and so he should probably retain credit.
Cheri has been hiking in the mountains of Colorado with her family and some
other families. The women go for a bath in a stream, and Cheri wanders off
and wakes up with Regina (one of the sexy moms) eating her out. After this
vividly described, multiorgasmic experience, Cheri notices that her brother
and Regina's daughter have been watching from the woods. Poor David is
flabbergasted; he had simply intended to walk with Bambi in the woods, and
suddenly he has been summoned to put the final touches to Bambi's horny
mother. A 14-year-old who sports an 8-incher, David fucks the hell out of
Regina, while Cheri and Bambi watch and get horny again. Cheri sees her
brother "in a totally different light"; and Bambi is generally impressed with
the whole situation. This sort of thing could easily get out of hand.
Ratings for "The Pleasure of Family Hiking"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"On the Job Benefits" by J Boswell. This story was posted as "onthej~1.txt."
It's about an insecure woman whose husband boosts her confidence. Once she
becomes convinced that she's really sexy, her husband encourages her to have
sex with other men, as long as she tells him about it. And so she becomes
the company slut. This story describes some of her adventures. I suppose
this story derives a lot of its impact from the notion that it would be
really great for a husband to be able to imagine his wife being screwed by
other men. If you don't buy that assumption, it's not quite such an
enjoyable story.
Ratings for "On the Job Benefits"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Massage" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). The woman has had a hard day at
work; and when she arrives home, she finds that her husband has cooked a
wonderful meal for her. Not only that, but he also gives her a wonderful
massage - and then she falls asleep! The poor guy is left there with a
hard-on!
It's a wonderful feeling to fall asleep while one's pussy is gently banging
away; but this certainly can leave the partner high and dry. My husband and
I have a simple agreement. If I ever do this, he can go to sleep happily
himself, because he can rest assured that I'll fuck his brains out when I
wake him. The protagonists in this story have a similar agreement, which
brings us to the next story.
Ratings for "Massage"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Breakfast in Bed" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). This story is a sequel
to "The Massage." Let's just say that the guy no longer feels frustrated by
the fact that his wife fell happily asleep while he was giving her a really
sensuous massage the night before.
Ratings for "Breakfast in Bed"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Vortrek" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). Bob and Jeanette Brennan
are moving out of their apartment. It was "Bob and Jeanette" who had moved
into this apartment; it is"the Brennans" are moving out. These two people
are really in love. Sometimes it's nauseating. I sometimes feel the urge to
exit one of these Bob and Jeanette stories and read a more wholesome,
realistic rape and torture story. But then I keep reading, and I am
invariably glad I did.
I have friends who tease me about my own marriage. They are certain that I
am either simple-minded or lying: nobody can be this happy all the time
sleeping with the same man. {Actually, some of them are certain that nobody
could be this happy sleeping with ANY VARIETY of men.} It would get boring,
they say; and sometimes it does. Some of my friends know what hell is really
like, because they have been married. What's nice about the Bob and Jeanette
stories is that they are realistically and blissfully happy. They have their
ordinary lives where they struggle together with mundane problems, but their
genuine love for each other is a source of strength, stability, and
happiness. At times it gets to where their sex life would HAVE to become
boring; but by God, somehow it gets even better.
I had a friend who was in the perfect marriage. She got divorced last year.
I was disillusioned. This author has a responsibility to keep Bob and
Jeanette together. They're the main source of stability in the lives of
millions of readers throughout the uncensored world. Please, please - don't
let them go the way of Bo and Billie or the other people on the soaps.
These people have become my friends. I was actually excited to hear that
Jeanette has learned French! Ooops... I don't want to spoil the surprise for
you. They keep t'aiming and t'adoring as they drive across the country to
their new home in Boston, where Bob will continue his education and Jeanette
will get a job to continue to make that education possible.
The story is a really outstanding blend of current events and past memories;
and the memories themselves are a wonderful blend of things I myself know
(from previous stories) and new information from the Early Life and Courtship
of Bob and Jeanette; and those memories are a delightful blend of ideas and
events that overlap with my own life and things completely new to me. And
the blends are very sexy.
Come to think of it, in some ways Bob is even better than my husband. For
example, as far as I can see, Bob never farts during really intimate moments.
I think Bob may also be better with his hands, although my husband still
seems to have the edge with regard to his tongue.
I am reminded of my daughter, who makes a similar comment about her birthday
each and every year - this is the best Bob and Jeanette story ever!
Ratings for "Vortrek"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Sondra's Day" by Pete Ferrer (Ferrer@msn.com). It's her birthday, and
29-year-old Sondra feels an emptiness in her life. Her husband is asleep in
the next room. Although their son is spending the night with grandma, the
couple has decided to celebrate the birthday on the weekend instead of today.
In addition, Sondra feels a mixture of longing and guilt; in spite of her
continued love for her husband, she has been having an affair with a coworker
for the past eight months, and she can't help thinking about him. Her
husband wakes up, comes into the room, and kisses her; and suddenly there's a
knock at the door. It's her lover; and he and the husband combine to give her
the sexual evening of her lifetime. Even though I have told you perhaps too
much of the plot, I think you'll enjoy the story. I know I did, even though
I guessed the ending about a quarter of the way into the story.
As an aside, I might note that I think this story achieves the egalitarian
impact that many "interracial" stories miss. In this story the wife and
husband are white and the lover black, but racial stereotypes play no role in
the story. They're all three good people trying to make one another happy.
This is one of those stories that I would really like to act out in real life
- but which I really wouldn't want to act out in real life. That last
sentence is as contradictory as I can make it, and it expresses my feelings
exactly. This is a really, really hot fantasy for me; and if I were 100%
certain I could act it out in real life without doing anybody any harm, I
would go for it. However, I know that's impossible - the actual activity
would require fundamental changes in my relationship with my husband and
would involve someone else in a possibly unfortunate way; and so I am simply
grateful for this excellent fantasy. I guess I don't know what I'm missing,
but I do know and appreciate what I have. And a story like this enables me
to have a little bit of what I am missing.
This is already a good story, but the author prefaced his story with a
request for feedback. Here is what I think it needs to become a great story:
(1) Get rid of the long paragraphs. I myself often write excessively long
paragraphs in my first drafts. During the revision process I often break a
single paragraph down into three or four separate paragraphs. (For example,
this list of four suggestions was originally a single paragraph. By breaking
it into several paragraphs, I have made it easier to digest and less
intimidating to readers.) Readers are simply not willing to read fifty
paragraphs in a row that are each at least thirty lines long. My suggested
use of multiple paragraphs may make it necessary to use some additional
strategy such as asterisks (****) or chapters to indicate a break between
major ideas.
(2) Before posting the story, go through it one last time and look for
grammar and punctuation errors. This story contains numerous errors that are
just plain unnecessary but still distracting. It would be especially nice to
make all the verb tenses logically consistent.
(3) At places the author should consider going a little heavier on action and
less on introspection. The reformatting that I suggested in (1) will help
solve this problem. Long paragraphs are often perceived as more
introspective and less action-oriented than short ones.
(4) Consider rearranging events to build anticipation or to keep the reader
from guessing the ending. I myself easily guessed the ending. The author
followed a mostly chronological presentation of events. Maybe some other
strategy using flashbacks would work better.
Ratings for "Sondra's Day"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
{End}
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