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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 219 - Sept 24
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Celestial Reviews 219 - September 24, 1997
Note: Authors really DO deserve credit for their work. This week I came
across a story labeled "Angie" by an anonymous author. It was actually
"Angela" by Friar Dave. There are at least three persons currently reposting
large numbers of stories. One of them appears to be scrupulously trying to
associate the stories with their authors; the others are more lax. I
honestly don't think the reposters are deliberately deleting the names of the
authors. Rather, I think these people have been obtaining copies of stories
that have the names already deleted by someone else and are passing them on.
Whenever I recognize a story with the author's name deleted, I try to call
attention to the mistake when I repost the review. If YOU notice similar
mistakes, please call them to my attention. Of course, some of these authors
would prefer that their stories not be reposted. I know of one author who
long ago posted a story that now embarrasses him, but someone else keeps on
reposting it. I cannot solve that problem; but I will continue to do what I
can to help authors get the recognition they deserve.
One author recently wrote to me and asked me not to review his stories when
someone else reposted them. This was because he often revises his stories,
and he does not want someone else reposting old versions. He felt that by
reviewing these stories I was given publicity to the "bad guys." On the
other hand, I know for certain of at least two very good authors who PREFER
that someone else repost their stories, because they are no longer able to
repost the stories themselves (perhaps because they have taken a job with
higher visibility or because they no longer have easy access to an anonymous
remailer). I WILL honor authors' requests not to repost reviews when their
stories are reposted by a "mass reposter." However, until I am convinced
otherwise, I'll continue to repost my reviews whenever it seems appropriate
to do so, because I feel that I am helping the authors achieve proper
recognition as well as helping readers find good stories.
Second note: Remember the Blowjob Principle: if you like a story that an
author has posted and would like more, do something to make him glad he gave
you the first one.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"The Big Time" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence)
10, 10, 10
"Elevator Heat" by Unknown Author (quickie in elevator)
10, 9, 9
"A Daughter's Breasts" by Mark Aster (nostalgia & emerging
adolescence) 10, 10, 10
"The Checkout Chick" by Dexy (grocery store sex) 8, 10, 10
"Tim, the Teenage MC" by Rass Senip (mind control) - No rating
"Life Is Good" by Peyton Carlson (anal sex) 10, 9, 9
"Party" by Wollstonecraft (drunken orgy) 9, 9, 8
"Dream Team" by Unknown Author (pissing games)
8, 7, 5
Guest Reviews:
"The Black Box" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (mind control)
9.5, 8, 8
"Honey's Story" by the Flying Pen (mind control) 9, 9, 9
"Comeuppance " by Unknown Author(bdsm & revenge)
"The Betrayal" by Alex Taylor Douglas (seduction) 9, 9, 9
"Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade (sci fi sex) 10, 10, 7
"Career Opportunities" by Unknown Author (husband
humiliation) 9, 10, 9
"Cheryl: An Icy Hot Layover in Chicago" by Unknown Author
(slut wife) 9, 7, 5
Reposted Reviews:
* "Angela" by Friar Dave (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10
* "Campus Crusade" by Sean (sex in public places) 6, 6, 6
* "Creative Interlude" by Ann Douglas (sex fantasies of a
smut writer) 10, 9, 9
* "Ergonomic Chairs" by Rajah Dodger (sex in the
workplace) 10, 8, 8
* "Chastity" by Radchick (rape) 5, 3, 3
* "DNA" by Stephanie (Transgender) 10
* "Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (movie parody)
10, 10, 10
* "Dog Breath" by Dafney Dewitt (domination & submission)
10, 10, 10
* "Doppelganger" by Unknown Author (TV parody)
10, 10, 10
* "Carear Opportunities" by H.R. (wife watching & anal sex)
8, 8, 8
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10
"The Big Time" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith1@swbell.net). The 18-year-old
narrator is sunbathing on the patio when she is surprised by her little
sister's boyfriend, and so she has a little fun by flirting with him and
getting him to ogle her. Then she gives him some sex education - simple
things like how to apply sun tan lotion, how to French kiss, how to suck
nipples.... The kid takes lessons really well. Then the next day he applies
what he has learned to the narrator's younger sister. In addition to being
sexy, this story is actually kind of touching.
Ratings for "The Big Time"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Elevator Heat" by Unknown Author (Posted by J. M. McMurray at
RNRH85C@prodigy.com). Lance is an electronics repairman who is riding the
elevator to the 43rd floor with Tiffany Wilson, a movie star who is a really
effete snob, as someone said back in the 70's, when he wasn't talking about
the nattering nabobs of nihilism. Somewhere around the 35th floor, the
elevator loses power, and the two people are stuck together. Then things
really heat up - climatically, that is, since the air conditioning is no
longer working. Then things really heat up - romantically, that is, since
blonde actresses with nice tits who are eager to give head are often less
snobbish than they appeared at first encounter.
Ratings for "Elevator Heat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Daughter's Breasts" by Mark Aster (myfrthal@aol.com). The nubile teenager
roles over and smiles at her father. "Fuck me, Daddy! Cum all over my tits!
Put a baby inside me!" That's the sort of plot that this title might
suggest; but since Mark Aster wrote this story, it's nothing at all like
that. The father does not spray his spunk all over her ass or even talk
dirty about buckets of cum in ways never seen before on the Web. Instead, we
have a meditation by a father on the emerging adolescence of his young
daughter. The Old Man recalls his own youth and wonders what the current
agents of chaos are thinking about when they put the moves on his little
girl.
Ratings for "A Daughter's Breasts"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Checkout Chick" by Dexy (padiday@hotmail.com). The man finds himself
getting a hard-on while he's checking out the checkout chick in the checkout
line, and the young lass at the cash register does nothing to alleviate his
needs - until a day or so later when she is riding her bike and runs over his
cat's tail and has to come into his house for some medical attention.
This is a sexy adolescent fantasy. I would suggest more careful proofreading
to correct minor grammatical errors and a few inconsistencies - e.g., if the
buyer pays in dollars, the money is usually called a bill rather than a note.
Otherwise, this is a very good first story, the moral of which is don't
checkout the checkout chick unless you're willing to reciprocate her blowjob.
Ratings for "The Checkout Chick"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Tim, the Teenage MC" by Rass Senip. This is a very long mind control story.
The author asked me to review at least the first three chapters; but that's
224 pages, and I just don't have time to do that - I would have to set aside
ten 22-page stories to accommodate that request. And mind control just isn't
my thing. Like many of the guest reviewers in this issue, I don't see the
fun in having complete control over someone else's mind and emotions. To
seduce me, a mind control story has to have a twist - and this one may have
that twist, but I just have not had time to look.
>From what I have seen, this story is supposed to be written from the
perspective of a teenager, and it does have that teenage aura to it: a focus
on clever details and doing everything imaginable. What it seems to lack is
(1) the adult perspective of having fun with contradictory emotions and (2)
the passion that arises from actual experience.
I get the impression that mind-control aficionados might really like this
story.
(No rating)
"Life Is Good" by Peyton Carlson (frenchyiii@hotmail.com). I found this
story in the postings recently, and I also found it stored on disk under the
name Uncle Fred (UncleFred@usinternet.com). Go figure. I guess they could
both be the same person. When I read this story I had the deja-vu feeling
that I had already reviewed it - perhaps under a different title; but my
records don't support this belief. If anyone can help me, I'd appreciate the
information.
Anyway, the man has been making detailed plans to take his wife out for a
fine dinner and then to bring her home and fuck her in the ass. She has a
good thing going: she seems to enjoy the anal sex as much as he does, and he
throws in some very nice rewards. I'd like to see a little more spontaneity,
but this is a very good story.
Ratings for "Life Is Good"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Party" by Wollstonecraft. Three guys and three girls gather for a geek
party. Everything is very dull until somebody breaks out the beer and a
sexually explicit computer program. They chug the beer and follow the
computer's instructions into progressively more stimulating sexual
activities. Everybody has a great time and all the girls get pregnant. The
sex is really graphic and stimulating, but I found the focus on impregnation
to be a bit distracting. I also wondered why nobody vomited.
Ratings for "Party"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Dream Team" by Tinker (Reposted by who@why.not). This story is based on the
premise that it is fun for a young man to watch a bunch of cheerleaders piss
in their pants, and that the cheerleaders naturally get turned on when he
wets his pants, especially if he dresses like a girl when he does this. You
didn't know this sort of thing went on? Well, neither did I. It just
doesn't sound like fun. However, if the idea of a team of cheerleaders
pissing themselves to orgasm turns you on, this story may be for you! {I
expect immediate notes of gratitude from all my reviewers, thanking me for
not sending this story to them.}
Ratings for "Dream Team"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"The Black Box" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest
review by Anne747.
I'm trying to think of a way to review this story without giving away the
plot. So, I'll say the story is about mind control with a twist. I guess I
don't get the point of mind control stories. The biggest charge I get out of
sex is knowing the other person (or people) want to have sex... and with me.
Oops, since we're talking about stories, make that with each other. A magic
box or special powers just don't seem all that sexy.
When you meet someone that might not want you, well, the fun part is getting
them to the stage where they do want you. The slow seduction can be a great
thing. It can be hard to translate this well into an erotic story. Having a
'magic' solution just seems like an easy way out of explaining the scene, and
making it more realistic.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't really a bad story. You will have to read it
to see what I mean about the twist. I should mention that it's also an
interracial story. The narrator wonders about his own racist attitudes at
times. The thing is, I wonder if a black woman would ever shout, even in the
throes of lust - "Lick my nigger pussy, white boy!" I suppose the answer is
you never know. There is a lot of overkill on the description of the woman
in my book. However, I know this is put in to emphasize the black/white
relationship.
Ratings for "The Black Box"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Honey's Story" by the Flying Pen. Guest review by Wherryman.
A popular theme at the moment on a.s.s.m is mind control; several stories on
the subject have been posted. One of the definitive series seems to be 'The
Book' by Blackie; and although that remains unfinished, others have been
written about the same culture/universe, such as 'Tim, the Teenage MC' by
Rass Senip.
These are both well written, with good characterization and, most important,
they tell a good story - I hope 'The Book' gets finished so I can find out
what happens to 'The Institute'. They are also 'hot' - as you might expect
with red-blooded characters who can both read and reprogram minds at will.
One trouble I have with the mc theme is - where's the challenge? If you CAN
reprogram minds then a never ending supply of sex slaves is ensured. But
isn't some/most/all of the thrill, and ultimately of the satisfaction, in the
chase, the seduction? In fairness, this dilemma IS addressed in the stories
I've mentioned, at least by the main characters; but in "Honey's Story" it
becomes the main focus.
The narrator, visiting another city, is looking for some company, and notices
Honey returning with some friends from lunch. He contacts her, mind-to-mind,
while she is at work; and although he initially allows her to believe she has
been able to break the link, the next day he 'suggests' that they meet for a
drink when she finishes work.
His problem is to seduce without control, hers is to remain loyal to her
husband. How the relationship unfolds over several meetings is told in a
well written and interesting story.
The Flying Pen has written a story about 'The Institute' but that's the only
other one I've seen so I don't know whether mc is a constant theme in their
stories. I shall be looking for more in either case.
Ratings for "Honey's Story"
Technical merit 9
Plot & character 9
Appeal to reviewer 9
"Comeuppance " by Unknown Author (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by
BronwenSM.
The narrator is infatuated with a woman he sees as a free spirit - sexually
inventive, exhibitionist. They get into all sorts of games, including a spot
of bondage. They also work together in a dreck job for an unpleasant man who
lusts after her.
She thinks up a plan to get their revenge on this creep, which they carry
out. Only it doesn't work out at all as our hero expected......
This is an odd story. It reads as though it were written by two very
different people. The beginning gives us beauty, character and personality.
The rest deteriorates into dull caricature. It taught this reviewer a lesson.
If you are going to make your characters do inexplicable things, don't start
out by giving them personalities. If you do the reader is looking for some
sort of motivation - and if none is provided he or she will feel cheated.
I kept wondering why this apparently real guy suddenly lost all scruples, all
commonsense - in fact behaved like a bad sex story. And this was because the
beginning was far more promising....
My personal guess is that the first part is a good description of something
within the author's experience. The second is a poorly-constructed fantasy.
Sorry to be mean, but it just doesn't work. Not sexy, either. Too many mixed
signals. All bad writing would've been hornier, but I'd rather see this
writer come up with a whole story that matched the excellence of some of the
early part of this one.
"The Betrayal" by Alex Taylor Douglas (atd@anon.nymserver.com). Guest review
by Mike Hunt.
Alex is a sleaze who sets up a scenario in which his wife Deb has an affair
with his friend Eric. She doesn't want to, of course, but Alex is so
conniving that it has to happen. And it does. The scenes of the seduction are
sexy and fairly well written, save the occasional intrusive comment or
observation from the author.
The format and set-up are even fairly original, with Alex forcing Deb to
write the story in her own words, and then commenting on it along the way.
That is sometimes distracting, but at other times gives another perspective
on a scene that enhances the reader's pleasure. It is worth noting, however,
that Deb's and Eric's writing styles are virtually identical. Maybe they had
the same English teacher in school?
Anyway, it's a pretty good read, but there are almost a half-dozen
introductions, and you're up to page 5 before anything remotely interesting
begins to happen. A better writer finds a way to introduce the characters,
background, and other story details besides "OK, reader, here are 3 pages
about how beautiful my wife is, and where I live, and what my job is." This
writer spends a lot of energy (mine, not his) in a boring litany of "My
measurements are 34D-24-35." and "My breasts are quite firm" etc.
As I say, a decent read, and probably worth your while. Skim the intros and
you'll enjoy it. "The Betrayal" is a fine little morality play in five acts.
Ratings for "The Betrayal"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade (cobaltjade@aol.com). Guest review by Kim.
Celeste tells me she keeps trying to find me stories to review that I'll
enjoy. Problem with that is, that whilst I might be happy, you'll all get
bored as I review the same type of story over and over again. Thankfully
she's come up with yet another extraordinary story that I probably would
never have read otherwise.
This story is firmly planted in the virtual world, explored by such films as
The Lawnmower Man, Strange Days and Brainstorm.
A female virtual world sculpture, Trish, has a thing for imaging carousels.
At the same time she's busy trying to ignore the advances of a fellow
programmer, the odious Alec. Working late one night, on her latest creation,
she is mentally taken over by Alec. As she points out to him, this is an
outrageous act in the field of virtualising.
Having wrested control from her, he proceeds to force his twisted sexual
appetites on our hapless heroine. First she is morphed into a female half
horse half human and then bondaged into her own carousel. Alec beats,
humiliates and finally rapes her senseless. At one point Alec is seated in a
saddle on horse Trish's back, at the same time as he's screwing her. Now I'm
not a horse rider myself, but I'm not at all sure this is technically
possible.
So how does Trish react to this? Well, what do ya know, she LOVES it.
Hmmmm... I can't help but feel that Trish would think nothing of the sort.
What we have wondered into here, I fear, is not so much the virtual world of
Trish and Alec, but the rather more stagnant backwaters of Cobalt Jade's
mind.
It's not even a moral piece; when Trish is given back mental control and has
the opportunity to either leave and blow the whistle on Alec, or to wreak
revenge in some appropriate manner, she isn't even allowed to do that. A
glitch in the program keeps them both prisoner and relentlessly rapes them
both all night long. They are eventually unhooked the following morning by
fellow workers, as they both make something of a spectacle of themselves on
the carpet.
After all that, what does Trish do? It's obvious really, she forms a company
to create virtual sex worlds with new found partner Alec, and they both go
off, hand in hand, into a millionaire's sunset. Aw, I love a happy romantic
ending.
What's a reviewer to say about such a story? Well, for one, it's extremely
well written. Parts of it a genuinely arousing, and it all hangs together
well. But... why does such a talented author stoop to such a dissolute
premise, that all a guy has to do to succeed with a woman is to rape her into
submission? There is the mildest of hints that Trish might actually
appreciate this behavior, when Alec tells her he's read her intimate e-mails,
but that's it as far as reasoned behavior goes. Not good enough in my book.
Now I don't quite share Anne's flat-out horror at the use of rape in a story,
but I do think it's beholden upon the author to put it in some sort of
perspective, other than the old cliche of "well, women love it really, don't
they?".
Ratings for "Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade
Athena (technical quality): 10 (Can't think of anything bad to
say)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (I didn't like Alec, but I can't drop
1 for that)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Taking someone really against
their will shouldn't be sexy)
"Career Opportunities" by Unknown Author. (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest
review by BluePencil. {Note from Celeste: After I read BluePencil's review,
I thought this story sounded familiar. There couldn't be TWO stories with
this incredibly unique plot, could there? So I checked my database; and sure
enough, I HAD already reviewed this story. The original author - a chap
named H.R. of Rochester NY - had given it the clever title "Carear
Opportunities." When who@why.not reposted it, he "corrected" the spelling,
thus eliminating the intended pun that the woman was advancing her husband's
career by using her rear. Anyway, I am reposting my review with the other
reposted reviews. I gave this story slightly lower ratings, but BluePencil
threw in a rant that pretty much coincides with the reasons for my lower
ratings.}
<Rant On>
Husband Humiliation stories are a major genre on alt.sex.stories: the
ineffectual husband whose lovely - but usually naive and unadventurous -wife
is seduced, blackmailed, or coerced into wild sex with another man. The other
man is usually handsome, arrogant, and a big dick. Or he has one; the
authors of these stories often confuse the two concepts. Often, the other
man is also hubbie's boss; I suppose this is to allow the wife to sympathize
when her husband complains about how the boss screwed him over at work.
By now, the astute reader may have the impression that I dislike Husband
Humiliation stories. Actually, I sometimes enjoy the stories - it's the
people in them I dislike. The term "spineless brain-damaged clueless twits"
seems appropriate. For some reason - perhaps the same one that totally
eliminates abortion in rape stories - the oppressed couple NEVER dreams of
getting a good aggressive lawyer and suing the #@$%#$ out of their tormentor.
No, instead the wife learns to LOVE performing the most depraved acts
demanded of her, whilst hubby grovels ecstatically.
Don't get me wrong, folks - as long as everyone involved is happy about it,
sex is wonderful. And if you and your lover get your jollies in trying to
beat Annabel Chong's all-time gang-bang record, go to it. I have this
long-time fantasy involving myself, my Highly Significant Other, a couple
dozen of our closest friends, and a gorilla in a police uniform. I'm lying.
About the police uniform, at least. It's just that I have this urge to
offer any would-be sexual blackmailers a dynamite dildo and some
nitroglycerin lubricant. And I mean this in the NICEST way.
<Rant Off>
Got though all of that? Good. Surprise, boys and girls - much to my own
amazement, with all this backlog of feeling about the genre, I STILL liked
this story.
At first, it has all the standard hallmarks: the hardworking lawyer husband,
the beautiful-but-inhibited wife, the slave-master senior partner who lives
his life in perpetual dread of Preparation H . . .
Our Hapless Hero comes home from a business trip a few hours early to
discover his boss at the house, performing all kinds of lewd, lascivious acts
upon his wife's previously pristine pussy and posterior. Rather than
bursting in (presumably, to grovel - husbands in these stories NEVER seem to
fight back) Hubby waits till his wife is alone before confronting her.
What comes next? Read the story. Despite a few earlier signals, the ending
owes more to O. Henry than Parker or Boswell.
Ratings for "Career Opportunities"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Cheryl: An Icy Hot Layover in Chicago" by Unknown Author (Reposted by
who@why.not). Guest review by DG.
This story is fairly well written and has a good premise, but I found it
rather disappointing, partly because of the execution of the story, and
partly because of my own tastes. The narrator arrives at Chicago's O'Hare
airport only to find that poor weather has canceled his flight home. In the
crowded airport lounge he meets up with a married couple and their male
friend, and they are surprisingly sympathetic to his plight. So sympathetic,
in fact, that they invite him to stay the night at their house. As it turns
out, the woman is one of those "slut wives" who, I only recently discovered,
comprise a whole sub-genre of sex stories. The lucky narrator and his three
new friends spend a wildly enjoyable evening fucking and sucking in front of
the fireplace, stopping only to recharge their batteries with some of
Chicago's world-famous pizza.
This is actually a pretty good way to plot a story like this. I found the
execution somewhat awkward, however, especially in the beginning. The author
injects a lot of realistic detail into the setup, describing the airport and
his efforts to find a hotel room, but this ends up backfiring on him. By the
time the narrator meets the other couple, we are involved in what appears to
be a very realistic story. There is nothing realistic about the way he ends
up going home with his new friends, however: he just sits down and says
hello, and they are off to the races. The point is, the story would have
worked better if the author had just jumped right into the sex. Another
thing that was annoying is that the narrator keeps foreshadowing some sort of
surprise or revelation regarding his relationship with his own wife. But
then nothing happens - the author apparently forgot all about it, and just
left it hanging.
The sex itself is realistic and well-written. As I mentioned above, I think
this story would be categorized as "slut wife." I had originally thought
that the appeal of this type of story was the voyeuristic thrill a man would
get from watching his wife having sex with other men. But the focus of this
story, and perhaps of the genre, is different: the sex is an excuse for
outwardly straight men to engage in "acceptable" gay behavior. By
acceptable, I mean that the men don't actually have sex with each other, they
just have sex right next to each other at the same time. The real thrill is
having sex with a woman after she has already been with the other men. This
is a well-established kink: in the old days a freshly-fucked woman was known
as a "buttered bun," and some men like to have sex with a prostitute just
after she has finished with her previous customer.
In this story, there is a specific focus on having oral sex with the wife in
order to consume the other men's semen. While this made me wish that I
hadn't decided to read the story while eating my lunch, I'm sure it will
appeal to some people, and that's fine. In fact, if that is a particular
fetish of yours, I think you will enjoy the story. If you can take it or
leave it, like me, then I don't think there is enough good stuff here to
recommend this story.
Ratings for "Cheryl"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
DG (appeal to reviewer): 5 (but see comments above)
* "Angela" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). {This story was recently
posted as "Angie" by Anonymous. It is actually "Angela" by Friar Dave.}
Friar Dave is a little hard to figure out. Some of his stories show us that
pushing kids into early sex can be really bad for them. Other stories, like
this one, demonstrate that a young girl can have a great time with no ill
effects by making it with an older man. This is a really hot, sexy story.
Now I'm going to discuss the legal. ethical, and personal issues. I'll try
to be interesting, but if you don't want to read that part, skip to the
ratings, which say that this is an excellent story.
Would I like to have had Angela's experience when I was 12 years old?
Actually, no; but I was a different type of kid. But would I like to have
been like Angela and then have had this experience. Yes, I have to admit it
sounds really neat: my first sexual with an experienced guy who cared about
me and thrilled me to consecutive orgasms while he teaches me how to make
tender love to him - what's there not to like?
Would I like my daughters to have Angela's experience? Again, in the context
described in the previous paragraph - why would I want to keep them from this
kind of pleasure and growth experience?
The problem is that real life does not match fantasy. In the movies there
are car chases in which cars routinely zoom down crowded sidewalks and nobody
gets hurt. Those are exciting car chases and interesting fantasies; but in
real life police departments have rules about "hot pursuit," because they
know that innocent people would be killed or injured if they did what the
cops do in the movies. It's the same with sexual stories; we need to
differentiate between fantasy and real life. Lots of kids who start having
sex when they are twelve find that they can't stop it once they have started
and wind up with seriously dysfunctional lifestyles. I've discussed this in
my review of "Marie," and I won't repeat that discussion here.
So my advice to my daughters is to stay away from dirty old men and not to
seduce the nice men they meet. On the other hand, they can fantasize all
they want. Likewise, had I not been religiously repressed, I wish I would
have had fantasies like this back when I was twelve.
What's a guy supposed to do if a nice, cute kid comes into his house and
innocently wiggles her ass in front of his nose? He should be friendly and
persuasive and do whatever it takes to decline the opportunity. Really. He
should consider the possibility of either discussing the matter with the
child's parents or encouraging her to see a counselor. Really. He should in
the future avoid placing himself in compromising positions. Then he should
go off by himself and either jerk off, visit his adult lover, or take a cold
shower - or maybe write a hot story for this newsgroup. Really.
{Parenthetically, even though I enjoyed this story and gave it high ratings,
I would probably prosecute an adult who would conduct himself this way with
my underage daughter. It wouldn't be an automatic reaction. I'd look at the
facts of the actual situation, but I agree with the notion that 12-year-olds
who say they want to have sex with an adult are usually not responsible for
their actions, whereas the adult is.}
Ratings for "Angela"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Campus Crusade" by Sean (megason@mail.utexas.edu). Who@why.not reposted
this without attributing it to an author, but I think my citation is correct.
The title refers not to a religious endeavor, but rather to a loose
organization of adventuresome couples on a college campus who have sex all
over campus - bathrooms, study rooms, library desks, elevators, offices, and
anywhere else they can think of. The ideas are great (hedonistically, not
morally, of course), but there needs to be a little more development. And
there would be no serious objection to adding some punctuation.
Ratings for "Campus Crusade"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* "Creative Interlude" by Ann Douglas (AnnDoouglas@aol.com). We start in the
middle of a hot story. Then we discover that the real story is about Sondra,
who is writing a story for a.s.s. While she writes, her fantasies bring her
into the lives of the people she is writing about. This is an interesting
story. As a reader, you can fantasize that you are a writer fantasizing
about the people you are writing about for readers like yourself!
Ratings for "Creative Interlude"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Ergonomic Chairs" by Rajah Dodger (Reposted by who@why.not). The women
work industriously at their desks for long hours. Most of them would rather
break a date than be late coming back from lunch. Why? Because the chairs
are developed on the basis of the "intermittent reward theory of positive
reinforcement." What is there about these chairs that makes these workers
such happy campers? Use your imagination. After all, this story is not
posted on alt.furniture.stories.
Ratings for "Creative Interlude"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Chastity" by Radchick (radr0x0rs@aol.com) Playa is a guy who hates
Chastity, because she's always trying to break up the relationship between
himself and his girlfriend, whose name is Whore. Later, everybody marries
everybody else, and they all live happily ever after. I think this is a
morality play without a moral. It's convoluted and weird.
Ratings for "Chastity"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 3
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
* "DNA" by Stephanie. (Reposted by who@why.not). About every two weeks I get
an e-mail message from someone saying, "I know you don't like TG stories, but
would you mind reviewing this one?" Actually, my record with TG stories is
pretty good: I think I've read six of them and rated all of them 8 or better.
The reason I don't review more of them is simply a matter of time: there are
a lot of other stories that I need to read and review. In addition, the good
TG stories that I've read have been rather long - but worthwhile.
What appeals to me most about these stories is that they tend to be clever:
they examine interesting "what if" possibilities in creative ways. "DNA,"
like several other TG stories explores the question, "What would it be like
if a man were suddenly transposed into a woman's body?" These role-reversal
stories almost always look at how a guy (or girl) feels when he/she is forced
to deal with events from the perspective of the previously opposite gender.
This is fun, but the basic plot has been tried many times, and it could
become boring. What seems to make the idea persist is that authors look for
creative complications to interject into the plot. This story has several
creative ideas.
At the beginning of the story the young man gets turned into a clone of his
female boss's beautiful teenage niece by a genetically engineered virus that
alters the recipient's DNA. The first interesting complication is that when
the boss needs someone to look after the guy/girl while she's away from the
house, the only eligible candidate is the niece herself. So we have the
guy/girl being looked after by a girl who is essentially his/her genetic
twin. Next the guy/girl gets seduced by the boss's boyfriend. Not too
unusual so far - but suddenly it becomes apparent that the virus can be
sexually transmitted, and so the boyfriend starts to mutate into another
clone of the niece. "Fortunately," the mad scientist manages to inject a
different strand of DNA into her soon-to-be-former boyfriend. This
terminates his transformation midway - so this guy/girl has the upper body of
a woman and the lower body of a man, but a different man than his original
self. (Incidentally, all intellectual powers seem to remain those of the
original owners, although emotions tend to shift with the body parts.)
Interestingly, I found several points in this story when a character became
angry and could have shouted to someone else, "You can just go and fuck
yourself!" This could be taken as a literal rather than metaphorical
statement - in more ways than one. You'll have to read the story to figure
out what I'm talking about. One unrealistic element is that when Julie gets
transformed to Jim, her brain continues to reside in her head, instead of
where it resides in most men. <chortle, chortle>
If, like most Americans, you had a really bad biology course in high school,
you will have the good fortune of thinking that the biological aspects of the
story are at least remotely realistic. On the other hand, if you are like
most a.s.s. readers (intellectually as well as sexually acute and inclined to
be skeptical about simplistic ideas) or went to school in New Zealand, you'll
realize that even if viruses and DNA worked the way they do in this story,
the rest of the human body wouldn't. Don't let that bother you. Consider
the story to be science fiction, and know only what the author wants you to
know.
Perhaps I'm making this sound too complex - almost silly. That's the value
of a story like this - it IS silly, but silly in a very clever way. I'm not
going to tell you any more about the plot. Read it yourself. I'm pretty
sure the virus cannot be transmitted through the Internet - except for AOL
users using Windows 95. In that case, however, you already have problems
that are much more serious than having your gender changed.
Ratings for "DNA"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). In the early
paragraphs of this story we meet Dorothy, a smart-assed farm girl about to
celebrate her 18th birthday, and Toto, the cute little dog that specializes
in licking Dorothy's clit. The farm hands are planning to give Dorothy a
sexual treat on her birthday. Since the tornado arrives while Dorothy is
masturbating, she initially confuses it with a really good orgasm. Dorothy's
house is swept up by the tornado and lands on the Wicked Witch of the East,
who had been prohibiting the Munchkins from any pleasures - including you
know what. After spending some time in the ensuing orgy, Dorothy starts on
her trek along the yellow brick road, where she meets and attempts sex with
the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion - among others.
After some adventures and other preliminaries, they meet the Wizard, who
promises to grant their every wish; but first - and here's the kicker - they
must bring him the dildo of the Wicked Witch of the West. I don't want to
ruin the story; if you've seen the movie, you'll be able to guess major parts
of the plot anyway. All I'll say is that the story ends with Dorothy waking
up in her old bedroom as the three hired hands enter the room, all naked and
their erect cocks in their hands. "Happy birthday," they shout in unison; and
Dorothy exclaims, "There IS no place like home!"
Ratings for "Dorothy Does Oz"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dog Breath" by Dafney Dewitt. (Reposted by who@why.not). The author
prefaces this story with the following disclaimer: "The intent of this story
is to elicit disgust and poke fun at stories featuring humiliation and
submission by using a soap opera type melodrama to help maintain the
suspense. If you finish this story feeling just a little queasy, if you have
a sudden desire to brush your teeth, then this story has accomplished its
purpose." The author carries off this parody beautifully.
The gist of the story is that the heroine hears voices that tell her that in
order to obtain sexual fulfillment she must, among other things, jerk the dog
off and swallow his cum. A serious cliffhanger moment arises when she has to
kiss her husband - the stranger's urine on her sleeve is innocuous, but she
is afraid that her husband will slip her the tongue and discover that she has
dog breath. This may sound goofy; but parodies are SUPPOSED to sound goofy -
it's the parallelism between the goofy and more serious events that gives a
parody its punch. This is a very good parody.
Let me preface these next few paragraphs by saying that I do NOT think that
everyone who reads or writes bdsm stories or who practices a variation of
bdsm is necessarily a loony or a danger to society. My problem is that I
sometimes read stories that appear to me to be just as grotesque as this one;
but they are not parodies - I'm supposed to take them seriously. For
example, I may read a story in which a man inflicts pain on a woman in such a
way that my common sense tells me that she is experiencing degradation very
similar to that described in this story. As I read it, I say to myself,
"This is weird. The author must be kidding." I look for a disclaimer, and
there's no indication that the author is kidding; the writer really seems to
believe that people can express love by giving and receiving degradation. My
usual reaction is that such a story is not very realistic.
Occasionally one of the authors will write to me after I post a review. The
message will essentially tell me that I "have a problem" with bdsm. I have
missed the point; the people in the story really love each other. {Or women
really enjoy getting raped or being pissed on or whatever it is that I didn't
understand.} These people usually assure me that they are sane and
productive members of society, and I believe that assertion. My question is
why do they assume that I am the one who has a problem?
Note that if I knew the lady in this story in real life, I would assume that
she was seriously dysfunctional. If she asked my advice, I would suggest she
see a counselor. Unless I am missing something, she is not leading a
"productive alternative lifestyle." She needs to get her act together. My
problem is that the characters in some of the "serious" stories are just as
dysfunctional, but readers are supposed to assume (without any further
evidence) that their behavior is a realistic depiction of what normal people
do.
I may be arrogant, but it is my belief that the AUTHOR has the responsibility
to express ideas in such a way as to communicate a story to his/her audience.
The stories to which I give relatively low ratings for lack of realism
(usually stories that involve bdsm, water sports, rape, or pedophile
behavior) are usually written in such a way that INSIDERS will enjoy them.
In other words, a person will enjoy the story if he or she already believes
that it is productive to express love by torturing a partner or who thinks
that kids who are molested by adults normally experience no ill effects.
However, I review the stories as what I'll call a "mainstream" reader of
erotica. If the authors want to include people like myself (and that's a lot
of readers on this newsgroup) in their audiences, then it seems to me that it
is THEIR responsibility to help the rest of us understand why the story is
realistic rather than silly.
In other words, the author of the present story shouldn't have had to tell me
that this was satire. As I read the story, I should have been able to say,
this is so silly that he must be kidding!
Please note that I DO frequently give high ratings to bdsm, water-sports,
rape, pedophile, etc. stories. This happens not only when they are parodies
(as in this case) but also when the authors present the story in such a way
that a non-insider like myself can see the point. I think the greatest short
story ever written is "Telltale Heart" by Edgar Alan Poe. I don't think it
is a good idea to kill an old man because I don't like his eye and then to
bury him under the floorboards; but Poe wrote the story in such a way as to
make me believe that a really strange person might in fact do the things that
happen in that story.
When I find stories that describe aspects of life that are unfamiliar to me,
I appreciate them. Not only do I enjoy them - I also grow by reading them.
My suggestion here is that authors whose stories are based on
counterintuitive premises should assume the burden of communicating their
stories realistically to the rest of us. That's part of being a good author.
Ratings for "Dog Breath"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Doppelganger" by Lori Grenci. (Reposted by who@why.not). A doppelganger
is a sort of a ghost that duplicates an existing person. For example, if
there really were such a thing as a doppelganger, I could probably watch
X-Files and still have time to read these stories and write these reviews. I
would accomplish that by having my doppelganger watch the television, while I
worked on the Internet. Of course, if I had a doppelganger, I'd be a damned
fool to waste it on X-Files. Indeed, if I had a doppelganger, I guess I
could - in a limited sense, of course - literally follow the advice of a very
angry student and "go fuck myself!" I suppose not everyone can have a
doppelganger. If doppelgangers were ubiquitous, the O.J. Simpson case would
be even more confusing than it already is. Imagine that!
Since I don't have a doppelganger (nor am I a doppelganger myself), I am
unfamiliar with the TV show called "The X-Files." Based on what I have
learned from the story, I would surmise that Scully and Mulder are FBI agents
on that show. Scully is a very attractive doctor or medical technician of
some kind, and Mulder is a very serious man who possesses a certain charm and
some kind of paranormal powers. They apparently have a very straight, almost
stoic relationship. I say this because the satire in this story seems to be
directed toward the idea that it would be unusual for Scully to passionately
jump Mulder's body. The key element of the story is that while they are
attending a boring seminar at a university in Cathedral Hill, North Carolina,
without the agent's knowledge Mulder's doppelganger makes passionate love to
Scully two nights in a row, and then Scully is perplexed over the fact that
her partner has no recollection of their mutual affection on the mornings
after. As the story evolves, we learn a few additional interesting facts
about doppelgangers. This was a very good, well-written story.
A very good English teacher once told me that if I used a word correctly ten
times it would be mine for life. I have now fulfilled that requirement, and
so a doppelganger is now mine for life. I'll let you know if my sex life
improves.
Ratings for "Doppelganger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Carear Opportunities" by H.R. (betrue@delphi.com). The lawyer is hoping
to become a partner in the law firm, but he discovers that his boss wants to
fuck his wife as a pre-condition. No problem; and this even turns the shy
little lady into a really hot bitch. I really doubt that many marriage
counselors recommend this strategy, but it's an interesting fantasy, which
will appeal mostly to guys who have trouble impressing their wives on their
own. {The title is spelled that way because the boss teaches the wife to
like anal sex.}
Ratings for "Carear Opportunities"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). The narrator is a gigolo,
I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by latching onto older women, who
like him for his good looks and the sex he is able to throw their way. As he
says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I approached each woman as an
intellectual puzzle subject to physical manipulation, like one of those
multicolored cubes. But things begin to change one day when he tries to
seduce a rich woman who drives a Mercedes. He finds himself trapped,
enslaved; and he undergoes experiences that had never even occurred to him
before.
I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing and
diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I recommend you
check it out for yourself.
Ratings for "Mercedes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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