Message-ID: <4210eli$9709182320@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/4210.txt> From: usenet-tag@qz.little-neck.ny.us (Eli the Bearded) Subject: I've Got Huge Tits! [a mocking of spam] Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Keywords: humor Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> Michael Handler's Review: 7: On the other hand, I hear the black market Mexican doctors can hook you up with medical grade Spanish Fly real easy... Ava Petit-Mountain's Review: 7: No man, you want _helium_ implants, helium! Archive-name: got-huge-tits A mockery of a spam post. Nothing except the URLs have been removed from the body of the original, all the spam material is indented. Written 5/5/97 by Eli the Bearded. Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories From: Juicy Holes <juicy@cincinet.com> Yup, I'm Lisa and I am fresh from my cran-rasperry high-colonic. Plus I only douche with citrus. Today was grapefruit. Subject: I've Got Huge Tits!! Modern science and the human body are amazing. I had all this surplus styrofoam peanuts, and since I've been hearing so much bad stuff about silicone implants, I figured why not try something else? I got a great deal on it too, the Cuban doctor only charged me $200. That includes the discount for bringing my own soap. I can't express how unbelievably huge my breasts are now. I'd never guessed skin could stretch that much. And the styrofoam is so light, I don't have to wear a bra most of the time. Put that in your fat transplantation pipe and smoke it, sister. Lisa's hands began slowly stroking the shaft of the cock and it began to become hard . . . and much, much bigger! I didn't really have anything to do with this. It is all the work of my ex-boyfriend. He had this thing for transexuals, so he talked me into getting this cock implanted. Had that done in Mexico, it cost a lot but he paid and the place was filthy. I was much happier with the Cuban guy. He seemed very happy to get the soap. Said there was a shortage there or something. Anyhow, my ex-boyfriend was also into virtual reality. He said getting a full VR suit would cost too much, so he had all these electrodes put into my muscles and stuff. They all go to this computer on my back. He can connect to it by radio and know the position of my muscles and also control them. I hate him for that and that's why I dumped him, but I still can't get this thing off me. I am waiting for the batteries to die. Lisa took the cockhead out of her mouth, closed her eyes and rubbed the meaty pole on her face and then her beautiful breasts. Yeah, I should have mentioned that. The dick is sewn on between my breasts. When it is shrivelled it fits pretty well into a bra, but that is not too often. That's another reason I'm glad my breasts are styrofoam. She slid the bloated head on her nipples until they became erect. And all the while the cock became bigger and bigger. This is a real pain in the ass dick, I don't know where my ex got it. Sure puts his meat to shame though. Heh. This thing is black like the ace of spades which looks weird against my pale european skin. It's also uncircumsized and, man, that's a fucking chore. If I don't clean it starts to smell and if I do clean it, it stiffens up and looks so stupid. It will stay that way for hours sometimes. It is embarassing trying to explain this thing to guys in bars. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I could get it in my cunt, but it's too far up for that. She got up and got a container of lubricant and went back to her work. Lisa applied a generous amount to the end of buck's cock and began coating the shaft of the pole. Really I just use the lubricant to keep my hands soft. I can't feel a thing from meatpole so I really don't care what it gets out of these handjobs. When she had about 12" of his dick lubricated she removed one slick hand and slid 2 of her fingers into her steaming cunt and strummed her clit with her thumb. I got to admit, it is a pretty good looking piece of meat. I really wish it was growing out of my ex's chin or something. To get tongued and fucked at once would be great. And he could fistfuck himself all the while. Anyway, I do sometimes get hot staring at this permanent titfuck he left me with. My chest is now an object de art I can masturbate to. Lisa slowly rocked back on the wiggling fingers in her cunt and spent several long moments in increasing waves of pleasure. I, at least, know how to keep myself satisfied even with something as small as my fingers. Too bad that wanker didn't. Her left hand was full of a slick black cock of enormous proportions, quickly slipping over the fat head and down its length. I swear, I think he can feel what this dick feels. I can't imagine why else he'd want me tire my wrists so often over it. Maybe I should wear gloves and jerk it off with hot pepper sauce sometime. That'd fuck with his little virtual fuck session big time. And she slid two more fingers of her left hand deep into her cunt. Oh, yeah! Might as well make the best of it. Elijah ------ reposted for a spam mockery campaign -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/> .../assm/faq.html> /