Message-ID: <eli9703181428@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/year97/487895>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam
Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
From: jvstin@aol.com (Jvstin)
Subject: Repost: Grey (mf light Bnd, rom)
GREY
by
Lysander
I don't know how long we lay there, holding each other, not
speaking, but
eventually I rolled away from her. I was exhausted, but Grey got up on one
shoulder and looked down at me. She rubbed a little blood off my upper
lip
with her thumb. I didn't feel any more leak out, so there was no need to
get up and clean my face up. "Mark?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you mean what you said before?"
"What's that?"
"That you loved me?"
I thought back. Yeah, I had called her "the woman I love," hadn't
I? Had
I stepped in it again? Would I frighten her off if I told the truth?
Would I drive her away if I lied? Nothing for it but to hope.
"Yes, I meant it."
She considered for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. Then she
flipped
off the light, and I felt her turn over. A few minutes later, I heard her
whisper in the darkness: "I love you, too."
I suppose I should have wondered what would happen next. Would
she come
back with me, or go on to Seattle? Why was she even in love with me? Was
I
some kind of father figure for her to latch on to? I should have wondered
all those things, but I didn't. That night, the knowledge that she loved
me was plenty. I didn't think about anything else, and fell asleep
contented with her back warm against my chest and my hand laying lightly
across her breast.
The next morning was oddly normal. Grey shook me awake, telling
me I was
going to be late for my meeting. It made me smile, but not until I was in
the shower. I stuck my head out of the curtain to shout an invitation for
Grey to join me. "Tomorrow," she said. "When we have time." Then she
flushed the toilet to make me hurry.
I hurried my meeting as much as possible so I could get back to
the motel
and Grey. When I got there, Grey was packing. My heart stopped for a
split second before I realized she was packing both our bags. "Are we
going somewhere?"
"You've got a week before your next meeting, right?"
"Five days, yeah. In Tulsa." It was the longest break I had.
"Well then, let's go somewhere!"
"Sure. Vegas? LA? The Bahamas? Paris?"
She giggled and slapped my arm. "Well, I've always wanted to see
the
Grand Canyon?"
"The Grand Canyon it is."
So we drove to Tulsa, and took a flight to Arizona.
The immensity of it all was breathtaking: the canyon and my
feelings
toward Grey. Intellectually, I realized that what I was feeling was akin
to a crush (at my age!), and that my emotions would soon settle down. But
emotionally, I was flying.
We made love in the hotel all night the first night there.
Unfortunately,
we couldn't find a room with a good view, but we promised each other we'd
rent some equipment and go camping. We settled for day trips, however.
Night was for love on a soft bed.
One night, as we were lying in bed, afterwards, Grey started
talking. Not
about anything in particular. The canyon, and how mind-boggling it was
that water could do all that. Which got her to talking about the climate
back home, which got her onto the subject of home.
"I was one of those kids who was always feeling ignored. But the
thing
was, I was actually satisfied with things the way they were. I had my
world and my parents had theirs, and we didn't share them very much. I
used to think I didn't even love them. I used to wonder how I would feel
if they suddenly died, like in a car accident. I suppose everybody thinks
about things like that when they're kids. But, when I was being most
honest
with myself, I realized that, emotionally, there wouldn't be that much
effect on me.
"That sounds cold, doesn't it?"
I said nothing for a while, thinking the question was rhetorical,
but I
could feel her waiting. "Yeah, it does seem sort of cold, but I don't
think it's all that uncommon. I used to feel the same way about my
brother.
It was like he was more a guy on the block instead of flesh and blood.
Now, I love the guy, though. It's as though I couldn't get past the label
of 'brother' until I was old enough to appreciate him as a person."
She lay there, staring at the ceiling, digesting what I had said.
"Hey,"
I said. "You are going back to your parents, after all."
"Yeah." But she didn't sound sure.
Her parents were the main subject of conversation for the next few
days.
I got the impression that Grey was debating out loud whether or not she
actually wanted to go to Seattle, to see her parents again for the first
time in years. Zigzagging across the west, her attitude seemed to
vacillate. It was nothing overt, but I could pick up on it.
I was confused also. I really did love her, and I wanted her to
stay with
me. But what if I were just a substitute for her father, who had been
distant all those years? Would she leave me capriciously sometime in the
future when she realized that I wasn't what she really needed? And if she
did work out her feelings toward her parents, would she leave me anyway,
but much sooner? I could be noble and say that the most important thing
was Grey's happiness, but it wasn't. I wanted her to be happy, sure. But
I wanted her to be happy with me.
Naturally, I was unable to offer Grey any advice: conflict of
interest.
Besides, while I was learning more about Grey daily, her parents were
almost a complete mystery. All I had to go on were Grey's descriptions of
them. If I met them, I probably wouldn't even know who they were.
Zoom ahead a week. I was falling more deeply in love with Grey,
and I
thought she was feeling the same. She had stopped talking about her
family. She had either made her decision, or was on the verge of making
it. I had no idea what the decision was, and it worried me. Had she
decided she didn't need me anymore? Had she decided to go back to North
Carolina with me?
We were in San Diego. The next day, I would be heading back east,
and
Grey would be with me or we would split up. The day had been particularly
rough. The client I had met was a recent acquisition, and I was feeling
him out. This was a toehold on the West Coast, after all, where Silicon
Valley is still king of the hill. I was lying in bed, waiting for Grey to
come out of the bathroom. I suppose I was more tired than I thought
because I had fallen asleep. A noise -- I think it was a sneeze -- had
awakened me, but I couldn't see. And I couldn't move my hands.
Shit. Something bad was happening. My stomach felt like it
wanted to
empty itself immediately, and my heart rate must have doubled. I could
feel beads of sweat literally popping out of my pores. I remember
thinking
I was going to die. Either someone was going to murder me or my heart was
going to explode. I kept perfectly quiet, like a kid who's heard a
strange
noise at night. I strained my ears, trying to hear over my heartbeat if
someone hostile was in the room.
"Mark." Grey's voice, toneless.
"Grey? Is that you? Are you all right?" Whoever had bound me
might also
have hurt Grey. I struggled against whatever held me. For the first time
I noticed that my feet had been tied to the base of the bed.
"I'm fine, Mark. Everything's fine." I heard her voice moving
and I
thought I could hear her footsteps on the carpet.
"What's going on, Grey?" I was naked too, I could feel.
"Do you trust me, Mark?"
"Huh? Of course I trust you. Can you untie me?"
"Not just yet. Why do you trust me, Mark?"
I was not in the mood for an interrogation. I knew that nothing
was
seriously wrong, but I was still more than a little scared by the
strangeness of my situation. "Untie me, please."
"Soon. Why do you trust me, Mark? I've got you in a very
vulnerable
position. I could take everything you have and leave you. What do you
think would happen to your business when everyone finds out about this?"
"What are you talking about? You wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
I know
you." Did I?
"Why do you trust me, Mark?"
"Because I love you. And because you love me."
She was silent for a long time. I didn't hear her move; I could
barely
hear her breathe.
When she spoke it nearly made me jump out of my skin. "I'm going
to remove
the blindfold, but I'm not going to untie you, yet. Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
She removed the cloth, which turned out to be one of my own ties.
I saw
that my hands and feet had been tied to the bed with two pairs of
stockings. Grey stood beside the bed completely nude. Not a stitch of
clothing, no make-up. Even her hair hung limply down her back. Fine. She
wanted to play a little game. Except I couldn't get into it. I was as
limp as a noodle, and I was going to remain that way as long as I was
bound
helpless.
"One time, Mark. One time, and I'll untie you, and we'll never
have to do
this again. Just give me this tonight."
No way. I was physically incapable, I knew, just like I know I
could
never kick a puppy or climb Everest. It just wasn't in me. "Okay," I
lied.
Grey was tender, which was the last thing I expected, all things
considered. After all, I expected some kind of bitch goddess who would
break out the whips at any moment. Instead, she lightly caressed my chest,
playing with the hairs on my chest. Her face was a study in
concentration.
Something was going on inside her, and I couldn't tell what. That made me
nervous. My confidence in her began to shrink. I'm ashamed to admit it,
but the plot of every female-psycho movie ever made flashed through my
head. It was only for an instant, but it happened.
Grey's hand wandered down to my crotch. I was still soft, and now
my
testicles had retreated upward into my groin. Her cool fingers fondled
me,
and her expression became, if anything, even more focused. She
manipulated
my manhood expertly, and I began to react. It was only physical, however.
My penis began to get hard, but not much. Unlike that first remarkable
night, this time, only my cock seemed to feel anything. As though it were
detached from me, it started to lengthen and enlarge, but I felt nothing
everywhere else.
With fingers and mouth, she worked on my cock, with more success
than I
was comfortable acknowledging. It was a unique feeling, lying there,
knowing I was responding physically, but being otherwise detached, even a
little sickened by it all. But Grey said she needed this, and I would
acquiesce to her, so long as it was just this one time.
I've heard that a very few women who have been victims of rape
become
physically aroused while they are being assaulted. I don't know if that's
true, but I imagine it would just make the experience worse, being
betrayed
by your own body. That's kind of how I felt as my penis responded to
Grey's touches. I'm a successful businessman who built up his father's
small company. I don't drink or take drugs because the idea of giving up
control of my body absolutely terrifies me. And here I was, getting hard
while tied up, completely at the mercy of someone else. It made me sick
in
my very guts, despite my feelings toward Grey.
I was hard enough for Grey, I suppose, because she climbed across
my hips.
She settled her buttocks across my thighs and rubbed my slick cock along
her slit. She spit onto her fingers and rubbed the saliva into her
opening.
So. This was something besides sex, if she wasn't even physically
aroused
as much as I was. My confusion deepened. Grey raised herself up and
pointed the head of my cock up toward her entrance. Slowly, she eased
herself down on me. She was pretty dry, and the warmth that surrounded my
member didn't seem greater than normal body temperature, either. She made
slow rocking motions with her hips as she moved slowly toward the base of
my cock. She stroked her clitoris, trying to arouse herself. The room
was
quiet as a funeral. This was bizarre.
Her masturbation must have produced the desired feelings, because
I felt
Grey's inner walls begin to moisten. Slowly, she rose and fell above me,
riding me luxuriously. Her eyes were closed, but there was no passion on
her face. She was concentrating on something else. For her too, I
realized, the sex was physical, emotionless. This was something else.
Except I didn't know what.
For half an hour, she steadily stroked me with her sex. It felt
good, but
empty. I noticed a tear leaking from Grey's closed eye, down her
barely-round left cheek. God, I loved this girl. She was looking for my
help, asking for it without words. I wanted to give it to her.
"I love you Grey. I love you." My voice was rough; I was trying
not to
cry, too. It was all I knew to say. I whispered it over and over again.
"I love you. I love you, Grey. I trust you. I love you."
Her upper body collapsed onto me. Her hands snaked under my head
and her
tears flowed freely against my cheek.
My own mingled with them.
Like magic, I began to respond to Grey's movements. Not only my
penis, but
all of me. My breath caught in my chest. My arms strained against their
bonds, not to escape, but to hold Grey in them. "I love you," I murmured
between kisses to her face.
Her nipples scraped across my chest as she moved back and forth on
top of
me. I felt her lips on my neck and shoulder, kissing me wetly. She
wormed
her arms underneath me and clasped herself closely to me. Only her hips
and legs moved. She was warm against me, and I felt her sobbing silently
on top of me. I tried to thrust myself into her, but I was too awkward.
"Let me," she whispered in my ear, her voice ragged. I lay still
and let
her have complete control.
It took a long time, because there was so much going on inside
both of us.
I loved Grey, I lusted after her body, but there was still the core of
fear and self-loathing inside me. I had no idea what Grey was feeling.
It
took a long time, but we began to approach climax together.
When it happened, all the negative feelings drained from me. All
that was
left was the love and trust. I climaxed inside Grey. At the same time,
she squeezed me tightly, almost painfully. I felt her body tense with
mine. I felt her relax slowly atop me.
She untied me wordlessly, then turned off the light. As she
climbed into
bed with me, she said, "I just had to know for sure."
Know what? That I loved her? That I trusted her? That she could
take
control in a relationship? All three and more?
We made love in the dark for the rest of the night.
When I woke up, I looked for it. I hoped I wouldn't find it, but
I did.
The note said: "I love you, Mark. I love you so much I couldn't
say
goodbye. I'll be back. I love you." The writing was firm and bold. Not
even tear stains. No, that would have been too cliched.
The next ten days were interminable. I had once enjoyed these
trips, a
chance to get out and see the country without feeling like the company was
going to hell without me there. But those ten days. If I hadn't already
made the commitments, I would have driven straight back home, so I could
live with my misery in familiar surroundings. Every once in a while, my
hand moved to where Grey's knee would have been had she been beside me.
When I caught myself, I would move to adjust to air conditioning, or tune
the radio. Trying to convince myself I didn't miss her as much as I did.
When I got back home, I didn't even go to my house. I stopped at
the
library and pulled out the Seattle phone book. There wasn't any listing
for Grey's parents, not even with just the initials. I went home and went
to sleep.
The phone woke me up. Yeah, it was her. Her voice sounded light
and
happy. She was fine. It was like she had never left home, better in
fact.
She was able to open herself up to her parents, now. I had been right,
she told me; once she was able to get past the labels, she was able to
love
them as people, and now she could love them as her parents.
Then she said, "I miss you, Mark."
"I miss you, too. I wish you hadn't run out on me like that."
"I know. But if I had stayed, you would have come with me, and I
could
never have said goodbye."
"I didn't want you to say goodbye."
"I needed to do this, Mark. I needed to resolve this."
"I know, and I'm glad you did, really, I am. But I love you. I
want to
be with you. I want you to be with me."
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then, she spoke
again.
"Forever?"
Forever. She was asking me if I loved her enough to marry her,
after only
a few weeks together. Would one of us tire of the other? She had found
what she was looking for, and now was wondering if she wanted more. Did I
want more, also? Again, I had to ask myself if I really loved her.
"Yes. If you'll have me."
"Oh, Mark, yes. I want you. But can you wait a month? I mean, I
just
got back home after so long. I can't just leave again. And I don't want
to leave yet. Can you wait a month?"
Inwardly, I had to laugh at myself. I had been fighting my
feelings
toward Grey ever since I had known her. I had been unwilling to commit to
anything in our relationship. But now that I had made the commitment, I
found myself tranquil. The uneasiness, the depression had fallen away
when
we both said yes.
"I can wait a month. A month can't be any longer than the last
ten days."
"I love you, Mark. I'll fly out in a month, and no more running."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Paul Weimer
Staten Island NY
jvstin@aol.com
--
Story Submission: <URL:mailto:story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
Moderator Contact: <URL:mailto:story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
Newsgroup FAQ: <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/faq.html>
Archive site (could be better): <URL:http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/>