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From: Andrew Roller <roller39@IDT.NET>
Subject: FUCK DECENCY 285  Pussy Playland  (nnd)  g2
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 Despite dumb ideas, despite low poll numbers, despite the world being
 more than 50 percent women, newt gingrich is still here!  and me too

                                      Andrew Roller Presents
                                              FUCK DECENCY

                                     Sponsored by:  JOE CAMEL

                                              Issue No. 285

                                   Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in 
                                              Pussy Playland

                                                Chapter One

         “Let’s pee now, gentlemen, so we don’t have to interrupt things
later,” she announced.  Tabitha went up to Stuart and presented the bowl
to his penis.  Quickly, as if shucking off his shorts in a men’s locker
room, Stuart pulled down his Speedos and stepped out of them.  He tossed
them aside and I gazed at them lying on the rug.  They looked so small
and compact.  How could they have possibly held his giant prick?  It was
at least ten inches, all covered with cream, and he thrust it into the
waiting bowl and began to pee.  How silly it looked to see pee spurting
out of a dick all slathered with Redi-Whip!  He glanced over at me
expectantly as he peed.  Dutifully I untied my bikini panties and took
them off.  I folded them properly and lay them on the corner of the
nightstand, where the condoms and ointments waited.  Without even
realizing it, watching Stuart as he peed, gazing at his flexing ass
cheeks, I delicately put a fingertip to my clitty and began twiddling
it.  Beth, equally impassioned, put a finger to her spot without even
taking her panties off.
         When Stuart was done peeing Tabitha took his offering into the
bathroom adjoining her bedroom and emptied it in the toilet.  Stuart
watched her walk out and stood, waiting like a schoolboy, for her
return.  When she did come back it was to interrupt Alex, who stood
exchanging kisses with Francis, and ask him for his donation.  Alex peed
lustily into the bowl as Beth and I watched, preparing ourselves for
their seed by rubbing our cunnies.  Francis pulled Alex’s swimsuit down
off his bottom and gave his buns a hearty slap.  He hollared at the
sting and pushed his cock more boldly into the bowl, trying to pee even
faster so he could get back to her.  
         “Thank you,” Tabitha smiled when he was done.  She took his pee
to the restroom.  This time, when she came back, it was with a glass of
clear water.  In her hand she held two tablets.  
         “Beth, get your panties off!” Tabitha scolded my friend. 
Sheepishly she stopped playing with herself and drew down her undies. 
She stepped out of them, twirled them a moment on her finger, and then,
not thinking to be neat, simply tossed them onto the rug near Alex’s
briefs.  “Go and have Kelly get acquainted with your pussy,” Tabitha
told her.  “Kelly, lick your friend Beth clean.  I want to get started
and everyone’s too messy for my tastes.”  She walked up to Stuart and
presented the water to his dick.  She dropped two tablets of
Alka-Seltzer into the glass and they immediately began fizzing.  “Here’s
a little bath time fun for your penis,” she told him.  Happily, awed by
her creativity, Stuart put his long penis into her cup.  Only half of
his dong could fit inside.  I watched through the glass as his penis was
engulfed by the little fizzing bubbles.  
         “Whoa, this feels cool!” Stuart remarked.  Meanwhile Beth
presented her creamy bush to me.  Lifting my fingers I put them to her
waist and drew her closer to me.  I parted my legs so I could pull her
right up to my mouth.  Watching Stuart out of one eye, I began to lick
Kelly’s bush clean.
         Imagine!  If you’d asked me two hours earlier if I’d ever lick
another girl’s bush, I’d have told you, ‘not in a million years!’  Yet,
in this elegant bedroom, with the fish and the waiting bowl of condoms
and the two men who were marvelously hard, I did not even give it a
second thought.  I simply put my tongue into her creamy bush and began
licking.  Beth, feeling a little sexy, arched her hips forward and
caressed my long hair as I tickled her with my tongue.  I stopped after
a few minutes of attentive licking and looked up at her.
         “Does it feel good?” I asked her.
         “Lower,” she replied.  “Lower.”  She pushed her hips into my
face even more boldly.  I licked down under her, where her private lay,
and she gasped as I found her spot.
         By now Stuart had a partly clean dick, at least, the important
part where his cockhead loomed.  Tabitha scraped the remaining cream on
his cock shaft, where it buried into his body, off with her fingers. 
Then she went to the bathroom again, rinsed her fingers, and filled up a
new glass.  She returned and interrupted Alex and Francis again to let
Alex wash his dick off.  Francis encouraged him to get it very clean by
kneeling down and licking at the base of his shaft while Francis gave
his cockhead portion the Alka-Seltzer treatment.  Alex shouted at the
feeling of all those naughty little bubbles fizzing around his dick. 
Meanwhile the fishes swam and stared, swam and stared, not knowing what
to think of these monkeys who played at sex instead of simply fucking.
         When I had Beth quite clean she knelt down between my opened
thighs and licked me.  Soon we both had pubic thatches that were as
natural and free of cream as any in town.  We were wet, but we’d been
wet since we’d first arrived and seen all the handsome men at the
party.  We stood up and, holding hands, walked over to Tabitha. 
Although she had lost her top and modest little skirt in the yard, she
still had her panties on.  Laughingly we all attacked her and pulled off
her panties and Beth and I knelt down and quickly licked away the cream
that someone had squirted into her bush.  When we stood up she stared at
us with glowing eyes.  We all let our hands pass round to each other and
fondle each other’s bodies.  We didn’t bother with arms or bellies or
legs but went straight for the important parts.  Pussies, bottoms, tits,
and the penises and balls of the men.  We let our fingers explore each
other as much as we could standing up.  In a few minutes I guessed we’d
be on the bed and get to know each other even more intimately but, just
now, we were enjoying the freedom of our nudity and the casualness of
our touching.  Except for the bon bons stuffed in my bottom it was a
beautiful experience.  Everyone took their turn playing with my tasseled
nipple clamps.  I felt special, despite the painfully snug pressure of
the clamps.  Every movement of my body, every teasing touch of my
friends’ fingers upon my tits, made my breasts respond by shaking my
little clamps with their bells.  Stuart tried to get my tits to play
jingle bells for us.  It worked pretty well.  We girls played with their
balls and tried to get the men to play jingle bells too, with their
genitals.  I didn’t work, of course, but it did make the men ever closer
to cumming.  
         “Boys, you’ll be required to do a lot tonight and I don’t want
any homophobia holding you back,” Tabitha told our male guests.  She
took Alex’s hand and made him touch and hold Stuart’s big penis.  Beth
and I and Francis laughed.  Stuart was made to stroke Alex’s member. 
“Very good,” Tabitha said at last.  “Now I want you two to experience
something else.”  She ordered us all onto the bed.  She opened the
drawer of the nightstand and took out some breath spray and settled in
amongst us.  We sat cross-legged on the cool fresh sheets of her bed,
letting our privates show to each other, admiring what everyone had.  
         Tabitha showed us the Binaca breath spray.  “It’s Spearmint, my
favorite flavor,” she told us.  “Sugar free, of course.  We wouldn’t
want any unnecessary cavities!”  She laughed.  Her tits jiggled like big
mounds of vanilla pudding, firm but deliciously ample and free.  She bit
her lip and shook the breath spray a moment and then sprayed it on her
own tit.  Then on her other tit.  She waited for the feeling of the
spray to engulf her.  She swooned as the full impact of it hit.  Then,
still reeling under the effects of it, she turned the spray on Stuart’s
big cock.  Not knowing how it felt (indeed I myself didn’t at that
point) he let her coat his entire member with it.  She was just
finishing up at his pee hole when Stuart announced, “Wow!  It feels nice
and warm!”  Then, a moment later, the intense stinging set in.  “Yikes! 
It burns!” Stuart groans.  “It really burns!”  
         “Of course, dear, I always mix pain and pleasure.  It’s more
exciting that way,” Tabitha answered him.  She was still teething on her
own lower lip from the sting in her bosoms.  
         Alex, knowing now what he was in for, nonetheless bravely stuck
out his penis and let Tabitha squirt it with breath spray.  “I thought
this was for your mouth,” Alex grumbled.  Tabitha lifted up the spray
and shot a squirt of it right into Alex’s open mouth.
         “It is,” she answered.
         “Yuck!  You just were spraying that all over Stuart’s fucking
cock!” Alex said.
         “I’ll make you suck his cock if you don’t do just as I tell you
to,” Tabitha answered.  “This is, after all, my bedroom.”
         “You sound like you’re 12-years-old,” Alex groused.  “Hey! 
This stuff really stings!” he yelped.  She had begun spraying his penis
again.  He tried to flex it backwards but she grabbed hold of it with
her long-nailed fingers and made him keep it sticking right out.  
         “Give it to me, baby,” Tabitha smiled, as if playing with a
swaddling babe.  She sprayed him all over his cock and even squirted
some on his balls for good measure.  Then, turning to Beth, she insisted
on giving her nipples the same treatment.  Then she lowered her hand, as
Beth howled at the first effects of the stinging, and shot some Binaca
right onto Beth’s clitty, parting the folds of her cunt with her fingers
to make sure she found her spot.
         “Oh, no, not me!” Francis protested.
         “Why, I thought you French girls knew all these tricks!”
Tabitha said to our French guests.  Alex held her by her frail shoulders
and made her take the treatment just like the rest of us had.  Then,
skipping my nipples which were imprisoned in the insidious clamps,
Tabitha went directly to the folds of my cunt and opened them and found
my sweet spot and made me take the spray.
         We all sat moaning for a few minutes.  Our most private,
precious places were on fire!  At first a wonderful warmth set in and
then the stinging came, making us all want to frig ourselves, but we
were made to just ride it out, not touching ourselves.  Tabitha gave us
each another treatment when the effects of the first one had faded.
         “Well, you were all very brave,” she said when we’d ridden out
a second round of torture.  She leaned back, tossed the Binaca back into
the nightstand drawer, and took out a tube of lotion.  “This tastes like
strawberry, but its clear in color,” Tabitha told us.  “It won’t hurt a
bit.  I promise.  It will make you all better.”  She squirted some of
the soothing lotion on Stuart’s cock and he thankfully received it.  He
reported that it made him feel cool without setting his member on fire. 
Each of us eagerly took our turn then.  She let us rub the lotion into
our skin once she’d squirted it on us.
         “Mmm, nice,” I said.  I fingered myself.
         “I have to pee.  What about you?” Tabitha asked me.
         “Okay,” I answered.  She got up and went to the bathroom and I
heard her rinse out the porcelain bowl she’d used to relieve Stuart and
Alex with.
         “I can just use the potty,” I offered, as I watched her carry
the bowl out to the bed.  Her large breasts swung temptingly with her
every step.  I wanted, frankly, to meet Stuart’s member and help him
find a place to put all that sperm that was making his balls bulge.
         “No, use the bowl,” Tabitha told me.  “It’s more fun for the
men that way.  Come, get down off the bed and squat over it.”

                                               COMMENTARY
                                                 by holy joe

         Being an Internet celebrity does have its ups and downs. 
First, I get all this e-mail from girls begging to go out with me.  So,
I take them out.  But afterwards, they complain about me!  I mean, think
of that!  I’m courteous, and fit them into my busy night life, and then
they have the audacity to air their complaints on the Internet.
         I’ve decided to take a few of the minor complaints and print
them and give myself a little space to rebut them.  I think it’s only
fair, given that all this will probably be in the Enquirer by next
Monday.  (As for those ‘You got me pregnant’ and ‘You gave me AIDS’
complaints, well, what do you expect from a guy who lives in the
Tenderloin (but isn’t gay)?  
         Anyway, I’m not disputing the truth of these allegations.  I
just think a little explaining is in order, that’s all.  (Then I won’t
have to be interrupted in my masturbating by calls from the Enquirer. 
They can just read this on the Net.  Smart, eh?)

         “He asked to use my bathroom and had diarrhea.”

         hj replies:  Honey, if you knew how many cans I had to collect
to take you out you’d understand why I was so hungry, and needed to eat
five bags of Chili-flavored Fritos while we were on our date.  I mean,
sure, maybe if I’d skipped the onion-flavored Jalapeno sauce, I wouldn’t
have had that little bowel problem.  But think of it this way:  if we
got married, don’t you think I’d have diarrhea sometimes?  I need to
know if you can clean up after me.  (You don’t expect a man to clean a
bathroom, do you?)  Anyway, I think you should be proud of the fact that
I found a Sci-Fi convention showing all the classic episodes of “Lost in
Space.”  Complaining about what I was eating while we sat watching them
is just being picky and unappreciative.  And complaining about my
bathroom habits -- would you complain about Elvis’s bathroom habits?  I
doubt it.

         “He told me I’d look cuter if I put a pacifier in my mouth.”

         h.j. replies:  It was just a thought, honey.  I didn’t mean
anything by it.  (But you would look cuter.)  (and you’d talk less too.)

         “This was how he greeted me:  ‘hi, you look great.  Listen,
this’ll have to be quick, so why don’t we just get down to the sex
part?  It’s the most fun, anyway.  Trust me on this.”

         h.j. replies:  Most 12-year-olds have had sex already.  That’s
just a simple fact.  I’m sorry if I offended you.  And, okay, when you
rejected me, I did go stand at Tower the rest of the night ‘browsing’
their porno magazines, but reading IS pretty important, right?  What
would your parents rather have you doing, wasting your time eating and
dancing, or reading?  The more you read, the more you know.  (And maybe
if you’d read some of those porno magazines with me, you’d KNOW sex is
fun and not be offended when I offer to do it with you.)

         “I had to call the police 10 minutes after our date started.”

         h.j. replies:  Okay, I admit, pulling down your panties on the
subway was a little extreme, given all the people standing around.  My
mistake.  I saw a movie once where, admittedly, in a darkened subway
car, with just the two lovers in it, the man yanked down the woman’s
panties.  So, I thought, ‘This will be a good romantic move.’  The fact
that there were other people in the car sort of eluded me.  You have a
really cute ass.  Maybe if your ass wasn’t so cute, then I wouldn’t have
pulled down your panties.  See?  It IS your fault, after all.

         “He told me if I didn’t have sex with him, he’d kill me.”

         h.j. replies:  Complain, complain.  I was just trying to make
you feel, you know, hot.  Like a Latin lover would.  What I meant to say
was, “If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll kill myself.”  See?  I simply
got the “you” mixed up with the word “me”.  A simple grammatical error. 
(And no, you weren’t “saved” by the fact that two police women happened
to overhear me.)

         Well, I hope this has served to demonstrate that I actually am
a great guy to go out with.  Don’t worry, I always bring a whole box of
condoms along, so there’s no chance (anymore) that you’ll get pregnant
dating holy joe.  And I’ve even taken to wearing a coat, which I’ll
throw down whenever we have to cross over a puddle in the street.  (Of
course I expect you to take your top off when I have to cross over a
puddle, okay?)
         Yes, ladies (and girls).  A date with holy joe is practically a
guaranteed success!  I’ve switched to cheese doodles instead of
chili-flavored fritos.  And I promise to have a few bags of Twinkies,
too, to keep my energy level up, just in case you need me to have lots
of energy at four in the morning.  (You know, making sure you get tucked
into bed properly after we’re through watching “Lost in Space” reruns).
         Remember, girls!  I am a celebrity.  Sure, you like watching
Barney on T.V.  But don’t you think it would be rather silly going out
with a purple dinosaur?  And, trust me, Oscar the Grouch is not real. 
He’s just a puppet on strings.  But with holy joe, you get a real live
person.  In the flesh!

                                             AND IN THE END...

                                        THE FEMINIST 90’s MAN
                                            and what he reads

         “Women want a slowly unfolding story strong on feelings,
psychological insight, humanity and love.  Men want a fast-moving story
with occasional blasts of uncomplicated sex without foreplay.  They also
want tons and tons of information.  Indeed it is hard to find a ... book
for men that is not partly a self-help manual:  how to manufacture a
bomb, get from Peru to Shanghai by the most efficient route, launder
ill-gotten gains, take brilliant photographs, chop up a body or pull a
curvaceous babe.”

- The Economist, July 19, 1997, pg. 16.

(But what about co-parenting and housework? - h.j.)


-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
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  bullshit posted by right-wing Christians.)
-Recent back issues at Usenet newsgroup:  alt.sex.stories.moderated
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- JOIN the world’s greatest organization!  Send $35.00 to The North
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  NAMBLA, P.O. Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018.  
-Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is
  copyright 1997 and a trademark of Andrew Roller.  Work by others
  copyright 1997 by the respective copyright holder.    
-END OF 285 EMISSION

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