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From: dragonslayer@iname.com (Beowulf The Dragon Slayer)
Subject: [ASS] NEW: "The Hitch Fucker's Guide To The Galaxy: IV " (F/Android, mast, shave, sf, humor)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Summary: A Planet explodes, and so does Trillian.
Keywords: F/Android mast shave sf humor
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Beowulf The Dragon Slayer.    DragonSlayer@iname.com
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. (ROA 48)
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======================================================================
DISCLAIMER: The following text contains graphical descriptions of sex
acts performed between consenting adults.  If you find this kind of
description offensive please do not read on.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Copyright 1997 (c) Beowulf The Dragon Slayer. This
is a work of fiction based on the series _The Hitch Hiker's Guide to
the Galaxy_ by Douglas Adams. This work may not be reproduce in whole
or in part without the written consent of the author (excluding
archiving on a free and publicly accessible library/BBS). The author
can be reached via electronic mail: DragonSlayer@iname.com

THEMES: F/Android, mast, shave, sf, humor


                 The Hitch Fucker's Guide To The Galaxy
                    by Beowulf The Dragon Slayer
                         Copyright (c) 1997

                    Chapter IV: The Plot Thickens

  Ford was paced back and forth on the ship's bridge. Trillian was
sitting on a stool in front of the computer console trying to explain
to the computer what is 'Solitaire', needless to say she was
unsuccessful. It was an old computer that refused to learn anything
new. In fact, even newer computers refused to learn anything new. But
nevermind that. Trillian was was not the kind of girl too give up a
favorite habit. Arthur was trying to explain to Zaphod, who was
obviously uninterested, why they have to leave the planet and why
they cannot leave it without Random.
  "The Vogons are going to destroy this planet in about one hour"
Arthur was saying.
  "Ah," Zaphod was not listening.
  "So we have to leave here as soon as we can" Arthur continued.
  "Ah," Zaphod was not listening.
  "But we can't, because Random is not here."
  "Ah."
  Ford looked at Arthur and frowned, "He should have never brought
Random with him, It was too dangerous" he thought to himself and went
to sit by Trillian. She grinned as he stood above her and continued
explaining to the computer the idea behind not cheating in Solitaire.
  "Maybe we can send Marvin to look for her" Arthur popped and idea
to the air. There was no reply from the people around him. He thought
about it some more and decided that it would be best just to keep
waiting. Random walked in.

  Prostetnik Vogon Yelts was delighted. He just loved blowing off
planets. And this time he didn't have to warn all the people on the
planet. Just a nice clean shot and pouf!, no more nice planet with
ugly people on it. That was delightful. He pressed a button and an
officer appeared at the door. "How much time yet?" screamed
Prostetnik Vogon at the officer.
  "Thirty minutes and five seconds!" quivered the officer.
  Prostetnik Vogon Yelts could not wait. He wanted to see the planet
go in fire. "Hell," he thought, "What's 30 minutes anyway?" and fired
the massive guns of his ship. There was a bright light as the planet
below vanished from existence.

  "Full power to the engines" screamed Ford Perfect at the computer.
"They're almost thirty minutes ahead of schedule, we're lucky to get
out of there alive!" The computer made some strange sounds and shut
himself out.
  "What?" yelled Arthur, "What's going on? what's wrong with the
computer?"
  "Nothing" said Trillian,
  "What do mean nothing? It's dead!" screamed Arthur.
  "Yes, so there is nothing wrong with it. It's doing just what you
would expect from a dead computer" Trillian winked at Arthur. "Don't
worry, we're out of danger, for now."
  They looked through the main viewer screen at the blank spot in
space of what was, only a few seconds ago, a very nice planet
(actually, it wasn't very nice a planet but you can't really blame it
for that can you? It's not the plant's fault that it's sun was too
hot in the winter and too cold in the summer therefore making it a
paradise for tourists. Of course, with the tourists came the big
casinos, small stinking bars and red-light districts that made the
planet a breading heaven in to the emigrant population of
Bornagainchristians. Actually, if you think about it, the Vogons were
doing humanity a favor by destroying the ugly old place).
  "Marvin," Ford's voice came through the ship's speakers, "Would you
drag you paranoid ass in here." Marvin appeared at the door. "You
should know that flattery will get you nowhere" he said sarcastically
to Ford.
  "Good, you're here" Trillian got up "can you fix this thing" she
continued, pointing at the computer console. Marvin moaned. He opened
a panel and moved some cords in the belly of the computer. The
computer sprang back to live.
  "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Marvin asked depressed,
"Perhaps make some dinner?" he added in a sarcastic tone. He he was,
the smartest android in the universe and they wanted him to fix a
century old computer. He was insulted.
  "Dinner?" Zaphod woke up from his daydreaming, "Did anyone say
dinner?"
  "No time now," Trillian cut him off, "we need to get a better ship.
We cannot possibly be expected to save the Galaxy in this old rack."
  "Save the Galaxy?" asked Ford, "you mean this is not just a
reunion?"
  "No" said Trillian.
  "Not again," said Zaphod, "All this going around saving the Galaxy
gives me a heads ace. Can't we go to some sunny planet and sit on the
beach?"
  "Well," said Trillian, "The nearest Ship-Yard is on a Sensoua IX, I
guess we could stop there for a day or two to rest. We don't have to
meet the Galors until the day after tomorrow."
  "Galors?" asked Arthur.
  "Yeah, Galors, what are you deaf?" Ford hissed him. "Does this
place have a beach?"
  "Yeah," replied Zaphod although the question was directed at
Trillian, "Great beach. Computer, Sensoua IX please, and step on it!"
he continued.
  "Yes sir, Sensoua IX sir, and stepping on it" replied the computer.
  "Well, I guess I'll go shave my legs if we're going to the beach"
Trillian winked at Ford and left the room.
  Trillian went into her room. She slowly took her cloths off and
went into the bathroom. She hinted Marvin to fill the tub for her and
went back into her bedroom totally naked. She had a great body. Firm
tits, long legs, tight little ass. She took a razor from the closet
and went back into the shower. She filled the tub with water and
slowly slid herself into the warm water. She started shaving her
legs, slowly moving the razor on every inch of her long legs, soaping
them slowly and carefully so the shave will be smoother. She felt
good. The warm water relaxed her and she started humming a tune.
  She got up and sat on the tip of the tub. She started shaving her
bikini line. Slowly and carefully moving the razor next to her cunt.
It felt nice. She decided do a daring thing. She is going to shave
her pussy. She went to the closet and took a can of shaving foam out.
Funny, she thought, if only Ford knew what she was using this for he
would probably freak. She shook the can and sprayed a small amount of
foam on the hand. She slowly spread the foam on her pussy hair and
started rubbing it into her skin. The feeling of the foam on the cunt
lips made her horny. She slowly started shaving the side of her cunt,
gently lifting her lips so she could shave them better. She slowly
continued shaving the hair off her cunt when each time the razor
touched her she got hotter and hotter. She finished shaving herself
and was happy with the result. Her cunt was completely hairless
except a small triangle of her just above it. She sad down in the tub
again and started washing off the remaining shaving foam from the
cunt. This made her hot, the feeling of the hot water on her newly
exposed clit drove her crazy. She started touching herself. First
gently rubbing her clit and them fingering herself. It felt good. She
wanted more.
  She got out of the tub and took a towel from the counter. She
started drying herself slowly rubbing the towel on her tits, pressing
and pinching her hard nipples. She moved the towel downwards and
started drying her cunt. The feeling of the soft cloth on her pussy
lips was good. She started massaging her cunt with the towel. It felt
so good she thought she was about to come. She dropped the towel and
continued rubbing her clit with one hand while her other hand reached
for the razor. She sat on the warm floor and spread her legs wide
open. She felt the steam in the room on the exposed cunt. It was
great. She took the razor and holding slowly inserted the handle to
her now totally wet cunt. She was taking the razor handle in and out
of the pussy while her thumb was pressed against her clit. Faster and
faster she inserted the handle into her hole, pressing her thumb
harder on her clit.
  But that was not enough. She wanted more. She got up from the floor
and went into her bedroom. From under the bed she took out a
vibrator. She pressed the button on it's bottom. Nothing. She tried
again; Nothing, Nada, Zero, Blank, The damn thing just wouldn't work.
She was about to go crazy when a thought hit her. In a second she was
at the comm-pad on the wall. "Marvin! I need you! NOW!" she shouted
into the microphone. Three seconds later Marvin was there. Being an
android he wasn't too excited with the fact that in front of him
stood a gorgeous woman, naked, with a shaved cunt was almost dripping
from desire.
  "Marvin, what's wrong with this damn vibrator?" she asked and
handed it over to the android. Marvin looked at if for a second or so
and said bluntly, "No Power."
  "Damn," she replied, "I need it to work now. Can you supply the
power?"
  "Yes."
  "Good, do so!"
  Marvin took of the bottom of the vibrator and stuck his hand into
it. It started to move. Trillian was delighted. She sat herself on
the bad and moved Marvin closer. She took Marvin's hand with the
vibrator attached to it and started rubbing it over clit. It felt
great. She was in the seventh heaven with her toy working. She
continued rubbing her clit with the vibrator and started massaging
her breasts with her other hand, squishing her nipples harder and
harder. She felt so hot it amazed her. She started pushing the
vibrator into her pussy. Slowly and slowly she got the thing
completely inside her. "Faster," she told Marvin almost screaming,
"make it move faster!" Marvin increased the voltage to the vibrator
which now began shaking like it had a will of its. She shakes of the
vibrator inside her cunt made Trillian crazy. She started moving
herself like a maniac pushing the think deeper and deeper into her
juicy cunt while rubbing her clit with her other hand. This was too
much, I a second she came, screaming like crazy and twisting her
entire body around the vibrator that was now stuck deep inside her.
  She collapsed on the bad with the vibrator still buried deep inside
her twisting and shaking. She told Marvin to cut the power and he
did. She took his hand out of the vibrator while leaving the thing
inside her. "If you tell anyone about that," she said in a serious
look, "You're dead! Now get out." Marvin left the room feeling a
little happier then usual. He was not happy in the ordinary sense of
the word. Just happier then he usually was. He had a feeling of
fulfillment, as if this was the thing he was build for. He knew, of
course, that was not what he was build for. He was also very wrong.
This was exactly what he was built for. Marvin, as he would soon find
out, was a part of a greater scheme. Marvin was about to save the
Galaxy while fulfilling his original role as a giant vibrator.

End of Chapter IV

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