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From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: Celestial Reviews 161 - Feb 26
X-Is-Review: yes
Celestial Reviews 161 - February 26, 1997
Note: I have discovered that the actual author of "Sense of Hearing"
(reviewed as the work of Unknown Author in CR 160) is Peter Principle. One
of the shortcomings of some of the reposting services is that they often post
stories without the names of the original authors. This removal is a
disservice: the only compensation authors receive is the credit or
recognition they get for having written their stories. I truly appreciate it
when people give me the correct names of authors whom I have mis-identified.
Second Note: I might add that alt.sex.stories.moderated is off to a
successful start. If you're looking for stories that are almost certain to
be actual stories (as opposed to spam), this is a good place to look. The
moderator does not try to guarantee that they are GOOD stories, but I have
found that I have reviewed about half of the stories that appear there, and
many of them are pretty good. I encourage authors whose stories I review to
post with alt.sex.stories.moderated.
Thir Note: I thought you might be interested in this list from David
Letterman of things that sound dirty at the office but aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5!
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. HMMMMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
AND NUMBER 1
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there.
- Celeste
"Have Gun Will Travel" by Shelby Bush (TV parody)
10, 10, 10
"Outdoors" by Planet Mojo (voyeurism & outdoor sex)
9.5, 9, 9
"Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (wife-watching) 8, 8, 8
"My Juno" by Morgan Preece (flirtation) 9, 19, 10
"Supergirl and X" by M D James (superhero rape & sex) 9, 9, 9
"A Change in Plans" by Dulcinea (friendly bondage) 10, 10, 10
"Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!" by MrSpraycan (sexual humor)
9, 9, 9
"Teasers," by Vickie Tern (sexual excerpts) 10, 8, 8
"Have Gun Will Travel" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). There are
certainly better stories on this newsgroup - perhaps with hotter sex and more
fully developed plots; but as a pastiche of a popular TV show of the early
1960s, this story is excellent. It explores what the highly-rated western
would have been like, had it been allowed to have sex as a natural part of
the plot. I watched this show only rarely; it must have been in conflict
with Lawrence Welk or something else that my family watched in black and
white, but I could see that the parallels to the original show were well
done. In addition, even if you've never seen the TV show, the story stands
pretty well on its own.
Ratings for "Have Gun Will Travel"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Outdoors" by Planet Mojo (Mojo@bitsmart.com). As I understand it, Planet
Mojo is the name of a web site (http://www.planetmojo.com) at which this and
other stories can be found. This story is about a woman who has discovered
that her husband's passion for her has cooled in the days since they tied the
knot. While she accompanies him on a birdwatching expedition, she comes upon
<g> another couple making love in the woods. This inspires her to think of
ways to spice up her own love life.
Ratings for "Outdoors"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). The husband has been
fooling around; and the conservative, virtuous wife has become upset. To set
matters straight, they decide that she should have a fling of her own. Once
the wife discovers the thrill of infidelity, there's no stopping her. The
husband finds his pleasure in watching her get boinked by Raoul and his
friends.
Ratings for "Spanish Lessons"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"My Juno" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). Our narrator is a
dimmunitive gent - too tall to be a circus midget but too small to make much
progress in even high school football. His Juno is a stately woman, nearly a
foot taller in heels. He seems to have a tall woman fetish. This is a very
interesting story of the little feller's pick-up lines and seduction of his
goddess, whose real name is Juliette.
Ratings for "My Juno"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Supergirl and X" by M D James (dmatthew@ix.netcom.com). At the beginning of
the story we learn that Supergirl has been infatuated with Lex Luthor. Can
this be true? Isn't Lex Luthor an evil person? Holy Ambivalence.... Ooops!
That's the wrong superhero.
In the present episode Supergirl pursues Luthor, but he tortures her with his
Orgasmatron. Then Lex Luthor fucks Supergirl - well, not really Lex Luthor -
actually X Luthor, one of those X-Men, of comic book fame, who has taken on
the appearance of Lex. In some weird sense, Supergirl is even X's mother.
I have to admit that I am not up to date on my comic book literature. This
story was full of allusions to people I knew not of. I felt like I was in a
comic book version of one of T.S. Eliot's poems.
Ratings for "Supergirl and X"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Change in Plans" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). The man comes home
with plans to take his wife out for a movie, but he finds that she has bound
herself up to be his slave girl. He likes her that way, and keeps her in
gentle bondage for the evening. She can be the dominatrix the next day.
This same author has also reposted her very short "A Helping Hand" this week
Ratings for "A Change in Plans"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!" by MrSpraycan (mrspraycan.an@edtec.com).
Bertie Wooster and Jeeves are characters in a series of books by the British
humorist P.G. Wodehouse. I first read Wodehouse many years ago in a bad
English class in college, and I had forgotten about him until an Unknown
Author posted a couple of stories about a person named Bertram and his valet
Cheeves. I liked those stories a lot and received encouragement from some
British readers to read some Bertie and Jeeves stories. I did so, and I
found them to be delightful.
In the original Wodehouse stories Bertie Wooster is a member of the British
ruling class who is totally jobless and clueless, but lives the quaint,
insipid life of the British aristocracy. Jeeves is his valet, or a
gentleman's gentleman, as Bertie refers to him. Bertie gets into trouble,
usually involving women (mostly his aunts) and Jeeves saves him from various
fates worse than death. That is the standard plot. The literati from the
Motherland will already know this, but we Colonials would be clueless as a
crown prince without this commentary.
The earlier Bertram stories were very much in the style of Wodehouse. For
example, "Bertram I" was an adventure with Aunt Agnes, in which he
successfully utilized the one-man band technique on her pussy and asshole,
followed by a vigorous double-holing with the assistance of the sainted
Cheeves. In "Bertram II" the chap was again summoned to his Aunt Agnes's
house on the occasion of his cousin Wilhelmina's 21st birthday. "Cheeves!"
exclaims Bertram, "this is a disaster! Whatever shall I give her?" What
indeed! As usual, Cheeves is happy to be of service. If someone would like
to repost these two earlier stories, I'm sure readers would appreciate it.
The present story is not quite as good a parody of Wodehouse, but it's still
a good story. The setting shifts from bygone days to contemporary times,
with Bertie being hunted down by a stripper and his dance partner, a muscular
black gentlemen who carries an AK47 and who Bertie seems to have sodomized in
the course of a playful strip show. This is the first of a multipart series
that looks like it's going to be pretty good.
Ratings for "Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Teasers" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). This is a series of short,
unrelated passages that generally have a transgender or femdom theme. Each
is provocative enough to make the reader wonder what this is all about and to
stimulate the imagination. It's kind of like lying in bed trying to sleep
while your spouse channel surfs on a cable system that has only erotic
stories. You would hear parts of several consecutive stories. Each segment
would put ideas into your head that you could either go with or not, and then
you would abruptly move on to another channel. This was an interesting
experience.
Ratings for "Teasers"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
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