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Subject: {ASSM} If You Only Knew, Part 1
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Date: Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:10:02 -0400
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If You Only Knew by M. Roulette
Years ago, I found myself embroiled in some rather inappropriate,
though, no doubt common, office politics. I wrote this to blow off
some steam. It remained scrawled in a journal of mine filled with
random bits of nothing in particular. Until now.

22 September; 11:36a

I know it's tough to be a man. I know it's even harder to be in charge
-- so many demands being made on you, everyone expecting that you have
all the answers; to be in control. Especially when I know you aren't,
really. That it's all a big facade. I know what you really want; that
you wish you could let it all go and be yourself. I know you want to
be that with me.

That's why I don't like the game you seem to be playing. It makes me
angry and want to do things I know I shouldn't. That you shouldn't let
me. After all, you're the boss. You should know better than this. You
should expect better of me. I makes me fear you don't really know me
at all. Worse, it makes me want to show you what I really am. And I
know, at first, you're not going to like it. Not at all.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what would have really happened, had I not
walked away. You didn't know what I'd brought with me that day; just
in case. I told myself that I was sick of you. What you were doing to
me. How you made me feel. You thought I was going to be under your
thumb. That you could just take control of me, and I'd like it. You
thought I was that kind of girl. You didn't know how wrong you were.

That's why when you'd said to me what you did this morning, I stopped
by my apartment for lunch. Of course, I returned with my bag as usual,
never liking to keep my purse anywhere that it could seem inviting to
sticky fingers. I knew you weren't that sort of naughty boy, so it was
safe in your office. Of course, that afternoon, it wasn't just my
purse I was keeping hidden. I brought what I knew I'd need to teach
you a lesson. And had it not been for a lapse of momentary sanity, you
would be at my feet right now, instead of back home with a woman who
doesn't understand you, and me with a man that I hate and only use for
sex when I feel like it. (It beats having to go out and play the bar
scene. Ugh. Really, now.)

No, you were the one I wanted. But you'd made me so angry, I wasn't
sure I could do it without really hurting you -- and we both know that
you couldn't have taken that. You're a lightweight at this point, and
unless you did something to really piss me off, I had no real desire
to break you down completely. Just enough so that you dropped this
image of being what I know you're not. Instead, it's just what I'll
have to envision tonight while I'm using my boyfriend's cock so that I
can get off, as I usually do. I'll just have to imagine you, instead,
and what I would have done had I not had the sense to walk away.

Oh, I'm sure you would love to know what I would have done to you.
Unfortunately, you never will. But for my own pleasure, I'm going to
write it all down in this notebook, inches from you, ignoring any
playful inquiries into what I may be writing during my coffee break.

If you only knew.

That's enough for now. Back to work.

22 September; 4:06p
I figured I could steal about five minutes and write a few more things
down before I forgot them.

Where was I?

Oh, right ...

I already had everything at my disposal, and soon, I would've had you,
too. But I'm getting ahead of myself, again, and your oblivious smile
is only infuriating me further. You're lucky I don't grab you by the
hair right now and shove your face into the paper. But, it might break
your glasses. And I might get fired. Although, I'd love to hear you
try and explain it to corporate. Can you imagine what sort of
controversy it would build up around your burgeoning career?

No, no, no.

I have you right where I want you. Even now.

Go on. Keep smiling. I may have to set this aside until later, you may
have convinced me that you deserve the abuse after all.

That's right ... keep smiling.

23 September; 10:48a

Today is a new day, and I'm sure the orgasm I enjoyed last night
(thanks to my fantasy of what I would have done to you the other day)
is radiating from every pore. I've still got the tools. Don't tempt
me.

But there's something different about you. You're not smiling, and the
way you keep looking over at, though you're not facing, me while I
know you're on the phone with The Big Guy is not exactly comforting.
Your tone is hurried, and your voice is low.

Hmmm. You'd better not be doing something else stupid.

Now that you've left your office for the time being, I can write in
peace. So, new plan. I've decided to write it all down. Things did not
go well that night when you made your move, and I'm wondering if my
job is potentially in jeopardy because of your fuck-up. That's right --
your fuck-up. After I was so good to you. Dutiful. Appropriate. Acting
intelligently while your cock led us into all kinds of precarious
positions, and, had I not been the smart one, would've gotten us both
canned weeks ago. Nice going, Einstein. Now it looks like I'm going to
be taking the brunt of it.
That's okay. Two can play this game. And I only play to win.

You may flip things around. May make it seem like it was my fault.
That's all right. You need this job more than I do, and you've got a
lot more to lose. I'll just make sure that this finds its way to you
long after the smoke has cleared and the dust settled. I guess you'd
just hope your girlfriend doesn't find it first. Especially if you
have plans of upgrading your relationship anytime soon. Wives don't
typically like tales of how their husbands came onto their employees.
It's bad form. I'd hate to see you get involved in something nasty
like that. Underneath it all, I think you're an okay guy. Don't make
me regret my generosity. Of course, your suffering would hardly be
undeserved, since I was the one who walked away.

 Don't forget that.

Oh, you're back. Guess I'll have to stop for now. Especially since you
don't look happy. Just wait. I'm far less cheerful than I look. You
have no idea who you're fucking with. But that's all right. You'll
find out soon enough, won't you? I've done far worse to men for far
less. You'd better be grateful for how good I've been to you up until
now, because those days are over. Jekyll's gone away for now. Time to
meet Hyde. Terribly sorry; I'm afraid you won't like her.

Oh, but I will.

... Continued.

For more free erotica, real life thoughts (both audio and written), or
to keep up with Mistress Roulette, visit her home on the web at
www.MistressRoulette.com

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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