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Subject: {ASSM} Repost: ...Make Me Feel So Damned Unpretty, Part 8: Doppelgangland (mmF, fF, FF, MFF, cons, reluc, anal, oral, mast, Fdom)
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Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2006 09:10:01 -0400
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The real people as presented in this story are not intended to be
portrayed as they are in real life. The fictional characters used are
the properties of 3 Arts Entertainment, Bad Robot, Cameron/Eglee
Productions, Deedle-Dee Productions, Disney Enterprises, Hanna-Barbera
Cartoons, Judgemental Films, Kuzui Enterprises, Marathon Animation,
Mutant Enemy Inc.,
Renaissance Pictures, Sandollar Television, Spelling Television, TF1,
Touchstone Television, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and
Universal Worldwide Television, and are used here purely for fantasy
purposes. The content here isn't meant for under-18s, and any comments
to go to cindylover1969@yahoo.co.uk.

Rose McGowan says "Previously on '...Make Me Feel So Damned Unpretty'":

The real Holly Marie Combs has found our heroes, and they've all banded
together to return home; but Velma and the others have put their plan
into action, with Sydney Bristow - apparently on the good guys' side -
having carried out stage one by shagging fellow
Alphabet Network employee Kaley Cuoco, at the same time that Jennifer
Garner finds out that fictional cartoon character Clover can be seen in
the real world, not as planned. The Threesome has started (and the end
of the story is at long last near). Now read on...

* * * * * * * * * *

"Oh my Vincent!" Clover hollered, staring at the crowd the way they
were staring at her. "I shouldn't be here..."

"You can say that again," Jennifer muttered. "Er... people, this is
just a holographic attraction - look, see for yourself..." She waved
her hands through Clover, and was surprised that they actually went
through her.

"Hey!"

She turned to face the doorway. "It's okay, they can't see the door
yet," Tara explained. "Clover's not permanent here yet... it won't
happen until the third time. Don't talk to me - just get up and walk
like you're going to another attraction. The door'll stay with you."

Jennifer rose and strolled along the crowd, talking  and giving the odd
autograph, with an ear out to Tara.

"The rule is, if any undisguised fictional characters have full sex
with real ones on the real turf - and I mean all the way, not just
blowjobs or anything like that - it starts off a blending of the real
and fictional zones; that's why Clover can come through undisguised
now, because it's already happened once. If it's only once she'll be
pulled back down after a minute, if it happens twice they'll crossover
for an hour, but if it happens three times in any 24-hour period, the
crossover will be complete and permanent.

"It's got to be your characters that are doing it; we've got to find
your doubles and get them back by this time tomorrow, or..." Tara let
the sentence hang, but Jennifer knew what she meant.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Even the Charmed Ones weren't allowed to use magic to take them all the
way to the Castle ("What makes you think she's at the Castle?" Melissa
had asked. "Look, what's in Anaheim? Disneyland," Paige had explained.
"And what's the best known thing at Disneyland? The Castle. That
crystal's never lied before..."), so Paige had orbed them as close as
she could before having to walk over the bridge.

"Hope we don't have to meet that tiny little blonde thing," Phoebe
grumbled.

"You mean Buffy?" Ashley joked.

"I wish. I meant Tinkerbell."

"I don't understand it, though. It should have brought all the witches
together into one," Melissa mused.

"The only way it could have gone wrong is if one of them..." and
Paige's voice tailed off.

"If what?"

"If Piper wasn't a witch. Look, I've got my powers, and you've got
yours. That only leaves sister dear. So I'm thinking she got some
splayning to do..."

* * * * * * * * * *

Rose McGowan was totally unaware of this or anything, except of the
cocks in her as she unwound. Okay, filming was easier now that there
weren't any more feuds, but she still liked to entertain folks to
lighten up afterwards. Especially if they were fans.

To be precise, they weren't fans of HERS - they were fans of "Buffy the
Vampire Slayer" in general and Michelle Trachtenberg in particular, and
she had caught them when they had sneaked onto the set to find their
heroine. Rose had persuaded them that there were easier ways to fulfil
their fantasy than that, and had also noticed that they weren't at all
bad looking - plus she loved it with guys younger than her. (She really
enjoyed the irony that the one with the dirtiest reputation - Alyssa -
was really the one who was sleeping around the least, and that it was
Holly who had the most notches on her bedpost.) Rose, not one to hide
under a bushel, had lured them back to her dressing room... one thing
had led to another, and now with her door locked, she was on her knees,
enjoying the feeling of two 17-year-old cocks jammed inside her butt.

The fleshy, lovely lady urged them on as they fought for space inside
her anus; Rose screamed and cursed happily as she felt their pricks
rubbing against each other, neither wanting to give in to the other.
"Never had it from two guys before!" she lied as she wiggled her butt
around their meat, feeling their hands digging into her as she begged
them to fill her up...

Evil Piper, her ears cocked to the noises coming from Rose's dressing
room, continued rubbing herself, glad that she had her door locked. It
sounded like she had two guys in there now... they were crying out
their lust for Rose, yelling how they loved every part of her body,
with Rose drowning them out with her "YESSSSSSSSSS!!! YES YES
YESSSSS!!!!!!!!" as the weaker of the two guys finally dumped his
payload deep inside her. Evil Piper had to bite her tongue to keep from
screaming herself as she made herself come - the last thing she
wanted was for someone to know that Rose McGowan had an audience.

"Michelle's ass can't be as fine as yours...." the other boy moaned as
he himself came, blending his come with the first boy's inside Rose's
ass.

At the thought of Michelle's tight young rump, Evil Piper started to
rub herself again...

* * * * * * * * * * *

Sydney, Kaley and Martin had all left separately after their little
tryst, two of them intensely grateful to the woman. Sydney would, in
fact, set the wheels in motion for Kaley to guest on "Alias" the
following morning, so Miss Cuoco wouldn't feel she had been used. In
truth, it was Sydney who'd been used.

Sitting in her car and with her eyes starting to tear, she thumped the
steering wheel in frustration. She hadn't wanted this to happen, but
someone - some Fan - had written this script for her to follow, and
she'd had no alternative but to follow it. Yes, Kaley had been a
darling, but that wasn't the point - the point was she had triggered
off the Threesome, and now she was just as bad as

"Ellen?" Through her blurry eyes she could make out Jennifer's sparring
partner-turned-performer, standing by her car door.

"That wasn't very nice, what you did," Ellen said conspiratorially. "I
could give it back to you in spades. But I'm not going to."

"Why not? Don't have a gun?"

"That too; but mainly because in the end you're just like us - you have
to follow the script that's given to you, and you did it well. You
started it all off, and the fact that you KNOW you did has got to hurt
you more than anything I could do. Plus it doesn't go away." Ellen
bowed to her and skipped away, shouting "See you on set tomorrow!"

Sydney mimicked "See you on set tomorrow," and drove off, thinking over
who the other two might be. It had to be two of the other doubles, but
who?

* * * * * * * * * *

"So we're stuck here?" Eliza asked as Kim Possible shut the door.

"You know, you could put a bit less hope in that voice," Brittany
Murphy told her.

"Yeah," Sarah Michelle Gellar agreed. "Just because you like opening
your legs for cartoon characters..."

"Right back atcha, Mrs. Freddie Prinze Jr."

"Fuck you, Miss I-Wouldn't-Know-A-Good-Script-If-It-Bit-Me!"

"At least my stuff doesn't get held up for years, Miss Harvard Man!" At
which point Jessica and the others left the two Slayers to argue it
out, and gathered around Kim and Daphne.

"Look, how long are we stuck here?" the gorgeous Dark Angel asked.

"Until it closes for the night," Daphne told them. "At least then
you'll be able to leave without causing much of a fuss. Come on, let's
get you folks back on the grounds - have a drink, have a rest..."

"Too bad Clover and La Femme Felicity got through," Sam complained. "We
could have had some fun with the bony hag."

"Jennifer's not that thin," Kim argued. "She's actually quite pretty -
for a live one."

"I hear some Fans call your show 'Alias: The Animated Series'," Alex
added. "Guess that would make you a Jennifer Garner surrogate..."

Kim didn't like the look in Alex's eyes.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tracy scanned the poster for "Silencers" approvingly, as behind her the
Revolution Studios suit scanned her buttocks equally approvingly.
"That's much better," she announced.

"I think we'll be working together again in future," he said. "A
three-picture deal, you said?"

"Oh yeah," Tracy replied. "And I hope you like the view... want a
closer look?"

"Um... yes," he replied, wrongfooted by what she had said.

"Well, after the movie comes out I'm sure we can... ah... arrange
that." Tracy sashayed out, keeping her ears out for the unzipping -
yep, there it was. She figured he'd have time to jack off before his
next meeting. Men were so easy to screw with - she had convinced her
co-stars' agents that she was the one to bet on, and she'd done the
same thing here. She was looking forward to hanging around here for a
long time.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jennifer finally managed to leave the Unhappiest Place On Earth,
glaring at Clover (who, like Jennifer, had given up counting the
shocked stares after about the 15,000th). "You're loving this, aren't
you?" the sexy thespian muttered.

"Oh, get used to it," Clover chuckled. "When the Crossover happens
everyone'll be seeing a lot more of us. Try calling me a hologram
then!"

"I could call you something else," Jennifer suggested. "Like - oh
SHIT!"

"Wow, now that's imaginative," Clover said sarcastically.

"No, listen - Tara said you'd be pulled back after a minute if it
happened once... it's been fifteen minutes already. So it's happened
twice..."

* * * * * * * * * *

Michael Weatherly and Scott Foley sat still in the former's car,
waiting for Max to leave the studio. Michael was still mentally
flogging himself for having put himself inside Jessica Alba's fictional
alter ego.

* * * * * * * * * *

"I thought after that business with his assignment Howard had learned
his lesson," his mother said stiffly. "But look at what I found in his
room!"

She brandished Howard's synopses for some of his stories. "That Lorelei
Gilmore/Lizzie McGuire thing was bad enough, but he went and did three!
Not just one but THREE! One about that blonde girl from that silly
sitcom with John Ritter - "

"He likes Suzanne Somers?" his dad interrupted.

" - one about those witches, and one about fucking Jennifer Garner... I
mean Jennifer fucking Garner! What is it about her, huh? She's got a
singsong voice, a forehead like B'Elanna Torres, big ears, and she
can't act! Why does your son like her? Come to think of it, why do YOU
like her? And that crappy show she's on?"

"Because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," her husband
replied, and instantly regretted it.

"If you're not going to do anything about this, then I will. When he
gets back, we're going to get that password from him and we're deleting
all the stuff he wrote, and then it's Net Nanny time."

"You know, it's not like he's hurting anybody," his dad protested.

"And where's he gone to anyway...?" his mother continued.

* * * * * * * * * *

"You know, if we were going to that 'Silencers' set it would be even
better," Howard said casually to Velma as the car moved through
traffic.

"Why, so you can meet Tracy Ryan?"

"And the others, but especially Tracy."

"Can't help you there, sonny... but you'll be happy with the set here.
Besides, I've got a surprise for you."

"I get to not write the next one?"

"Ohhhh no," Velma laughed. "You're not getting out of it that easily.
Just call it a little bribe..." and as she spoke the car arrived at the
studio. "Relax, Howie. You'll love it."

In Velma's office, Sara Hathaway adjusted her skirt and waited to see
Howard Johnson's face when he came in and saw her there. She mentally
remembered that she had to keep calling herself Tracy - if some kid was
going to be poking her thinking she was someone else, she might as well
play along with the game. Especially since she was going to be with
Anna... er, Kirsten Dunst, who exchanged a shy smile with her co-star
as the door opened.

"Howard, this is Kirsten Dunst."

"Oh... oh boy... ah, pleased to meet you..."

"And this is her co-star Sara Hathaway."

Howard instantly forgot Kirsten and stared at Sara. "My God... you look
exactly like Tracy..."

"Oh, I get that a lot," Sara replied, giving him a dazzling smile.
"Come on, sit down... we've got plenty of time before we're due on
set." Staring at her all the while, Howard sat between the two, and
gulped when Sara lightly rested her hand on his lap.

"Don't be nervous," she said quietly. "We won't hurt you."

Howard was very, very nervous as he felt the two ladies touching him.
Suddenly he really wanted to leave... "Velma will be very, very upset
if you run," Kirsten/Anna breathed into his ear.

"How'd you know her name?"

"Don't ask questions," Sara told him. "Just lie back and enjoy it." And
she started to rub her hands on his chest, while Kirsten/Anna did the
same to his crotch. Howard lay back, hoping that he would enjoy it...

* * * * * * * * * *

Kim Possible was also lying back, but she wasn't enjoying it. In part
because she was lying on her front; Sam and Alex had had a wonderful
time fucking her in the missionary position, and now had her tied up
and nestling her face into the willing cunts of first the woman who
Daphne was beginning to mentally refer to as the Toontown Whore, and
then moving on from Eliza to Brittany Murphy.

You would have thought that after what happened the last time the wee
Miss Murphy would have run screaming from something like that, but
Brittany just couldn't get enough of that wonderful muff; she stroked
Kim's auburn hair while the teenager flicked her tongue inside Miss
Murphy, all the while feeling Alex land a ruler against her upright
buns. "Go on, Kim! Admit it - you LOVE it!" She did, but what she
didn't love was having to go down on each and every person there, on
pain of another paddling. "They don't want to be kept waiting," Alex
shouted. "They've got a long wait until nightfall... finish eating
Britt and move on! Unless you don't want to stop..."

Brittany didn't want her to stop. Kim wanted to stop and end it all,
but Sam slapped her ass again, harder than ever. "Love them, Possible!
DO IT!"

"How can she take that after..." Kirsten asked.

"You don't understand, Kiki," Eliza told her as the petite big-eyed
blonde panted and cried under Kim's mouth. "Getting it from one of
them... it's like they've got their lips all over you at once. I never
had it so great. EVER. You get that once, getting it from people is
like... a step down, know what I mean?"

"Yes..." Brittany groaned as Kim's mouth sucked and tasted her snatch.
"OOooooooOOOHHH YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!" She pressed the teenager's head
close to her cunt, begging her for more, as Sam and Alex tore her away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Brittany yelled. "Don't LEAVE ME..." but the two
spies had dragged Kim over to Jessica, half eager and half disgusted.
Jessica wanted to tell them to stop, but at the same time she too
wanted to feel the gorgeous Kim Possible between her legs...

* * * * * * * * * *

"And here we are at last," Ashley Gabriel said as they arrived at the
Castle.

"Really?" Phoebe replied sarcastically. "I thought it was the Taj
Mahal."

"Come on, not much longer to go..."

* * * * * * * * * *

"There she is," Scott said.

Yep; Max was striding out of the studio, her day's work done. The two
men watched her exchange a few words with the guards, give them her
autograph, and wave goodbye. Michael started to get out of the car, but
Scott grabbed his arm - "Not out here! We want to see where she's
going."

Michael nodded, and Scott let go as they waited for Max to leave.

About ten minutes later, a young woman came out, chatted with the
guards for longer, and went over to her own car. They could see the
wide grin on Michelle Trachtenberg's face; she'd finally gotten her
license to add to car pollution. The curiously sexy girl climbed inside
and drove off, followed at a discreet distance by Max, followed at a
not too far remove by Scott and Michael, who wondered where Michelle
was going and why Max was following her.

Max, on the other hand, did know where Michelle was going, and was
following her because she herself was actually going to the same place;
where Evil Piper, whose status as a producer gave her carte blanche to
rearrange the day's schedule so she could shoot all of Holly Marie's
scenes early on, was dancing around the place with glee, laughing
dementedly.

* * * * * * * * * *

Howard's eyes bugged out of his head. He had liked to fantasize about
Jessica Alba whispering dirty talk into his ear, or wrapping those lips
of hers around his cock, but here was Kirsten Dunst actually taking his
schlong in her hand and making it as hard as Jennifer Garner's ass and
as big as Vin Diesel's ego. She twinkled up at him and bent down to
consume it...

"No!" he suddenly yelled, pulling himself away from the two. "I
can't..."

"What?! What do you mean?!?" shouted a flabbergasted Sara.

"Look, you're both lovely and all that - but I just never really liked
you that much, Dunst... I mean, if it had been Jessica Alba no problem,
but..."

"Well, at least you weren't faking it like Will," Kirsten muttered, and
flailed before the blazing stare of anger Howard shot at her.

"How'd you know about me and Will?"

"Where we come from, we know everything about what happens in Fans'
lives..."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, ANNA!" Sara snapped, and tackled Kirsten before
Howard could react. "Filming's about to be shut down for a few days..."

"What do you mean...?" Kirsten/Anna asked, as she was held down by Sara
who picked up a letteropener, and jammed it handle first into
Anna/Kirsten's snatch.

"But that just slipped out! Don't send me back, PLEASE! I LIKE IT
HERE....!!!" Howard watched as Sara rapidly fucked Kirsten/Anna with
the handle, the metal moving faster than anything on the planet. Soon a
greenish light started to spread from between her legs, as Kirsten/Anna
jerked wildly trying to get away. "No... no...NO... NOOOOOOO!!!!"

Sara tugged and pulled the opener out as Kirsten's body twisted and
turned in the green light, shrinking and changing; she was becoming the
young Anastacia again as the vortex opened beneath her. Watching with
fear and stunned fascination, Howard stayed rooted to the spot as the
floor gave way beneath the toon and Anastacia plunged into the vortex
leading back to whence she came, her receding scream cut off by the
sealing up of the opening, winking out the light.

Sara flung the opener back on the desk and gave Howard a cold look.
"Either filming restarts with the real Dunst in the wake of the
Crossover, or we reshoot again with another replacement. We did it
before with Gellar, we can do it again. Velma's already replaced Lisa
Thompson anyway - another sub on this production won't make any
difference." She pointed to his pants. "Now get undressed."

"No..." Howard replied, finally finding his voice. "And I'm not writing
any more of these things either - if she wants to write the other two
she can do them herself."

"Oh, but you don't have to write another TWO," Velma cackled from
behind him. "You'll only have to write one... I guess our little sex
bribe won't be necessary after all."

* * * * * * * * * *

Slimy with all the genitalia that had come into contact with it, Kim's
mouth was shut as she felt Alex and Sam's lips on her breasts; her only
consolation was that she didn't have an audience.

They were all back at the door again; because time here ran at a
different speed to the normal world, they didn't have to wait long
until night fell and the park reached its closing time. One by one each
woman hopped through, Holly Marie Combs the most eager of all, Eliza
the least - "There'll still be access for some time," Penelope had told
her, "so y'all can still come back."

"Not me!" Holly shouted with delight. "I'm out of here, and I'm never
coming back!" She ran through the paths, laughing with glee at being
safe, away from those Gabriel sisters...

As she ran, she felt a bright shining light form around her for a
moment; when it dimmed she was still running, but the sudden change in
position caused her to trip and fall over. Rolling onto her back, she
faced four young women who, until that moment, had been several yards
away from her. Holly's scream brought the others running; she had been
found by Phoebe, Paige and those Gabriel sisters.

Jessica Alba was the first to arrive, and was lost for words on seeing
herself and Michelle Trachtenberg standing there.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sydney had driven around trying to get her thoughts together, and had
finally stopped outside Scott's place; it was the closest thing she had
to a home around here. He was still out trailing Max's double, so she
had the place to herself; she could use the time to calm down and think
on what to do next. Collecting herself, she went inside.

Ignoring the letters on the mat, she decided she'd ring up Gabrielle
Union to see if anything had changed and if she was still going on set
(and being careful). But first, she needed a drink... at which point
the phone rang. Sydney figured that she could answer it and pretend to
be Jennifer Garner; who else was better qualified?

Without another second, she picked it up. "Hello?"

After a few seconds, a disbelieving Jennifer Garner said
"...Sydney?"

* * * * * * * * * * *

Being a fine figure of a woman, Gabrielle Union wasn't short of people
offering to keep her company in bed. The trouble was, this morning she
had to get up even earlier than usual to be at the location for her big
fight scene - she had hoped that they might be using doubles a lot, but
that damn showoff Luanne... Tracy Ryan had insisted on doing most of it
herself. And Eliza Dushku wasn't about to let some upstart show her up;
Jessica Alba, the star of the movie (Gabby had heard about Ryan getting
her way on the artwork, but as far as she was concerned Alba was still
the real lead), was going to play out her climax somewhere else.

Since Gabrielle would turn out to be the bad guy, she was of course
going to buy the farm; she'd been getting enough training to look
convincing on screen, but she still needed some impetus to get her
going. The woman put all thoughts of the past couple of days out of her
mind as she found what she was looking for; Gabrielle studied the
baguette and put it in the microwave - she was HUNGRY, like she always
was when she woke up. She fretted impatiently while the garlic bread
became eatable; technology was never fast enough in these cases.

At last it went PING! Licking her lips, Gabrielle took out the long
loaf and smelt the melted butter. Warm and welcoming... she returned to
her bed and slapped the radio on, relieved that she'd left it tuned to
a music station. Britney Spears filled the room; Gabrielle was a big
Britney fan, though she'd never admit it.

She carefully pressed the baguette against her open cunt, glad that it
was just hot enough to arouse her, but not enough to burn. Gabrielle
whooshed her air out in a rush as she thrust the bread into her... more
than one man had been amazed at how massive her gaper was (one lover
had dubbed her snatch "George W.," for reasons she didn't need to ask).
The trouble was that she rarely found anyone big enough to truly
satisfy her, until one night she had gotten in a changing room with
Brooke Burke, who (so she confided) had a similar
problem, as established when they saw each other naked. Brooke had
passed on the baguette trick, and thus it had started.

Gabrielle twisted on the bed as she pumped the bread in and out of her,
trying hard not to yell and wake up the neighbours again; she could
feel herself moistening the inches of the still-warm baguette. With a
satisfied sigh, she slowly pulled the bread out and brought it up to
her lips.

"Breakfast is served," she said quietly, and started to eat.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jennifer hung up and shook her head. She had just been talking to the
woman she played on TV... and Sydney would be coming over there in a
few minutes. Clover was guaranteed to stay - she wanted to leave, but
she knew she couldn't keep up the hologram excuse forever.

"Shouldn't you be used to that by now?" the animated spy asked.

"Are you used to this place?" Jennifer asked. Clover had to admit that
she had a point.

"Anyway, when Sydney gets here we're going to have ourselves a little
talk about Middleton. Like how it's involved with what that Fan did,
and why you sold your place out - "

"It's not our place, OK? We are not all sisters down there! It's every
one for herself," Clover snapped. "And anyway, there's no way I'm
telling you about it..."

"We'll make you," Sydney promised, entering without fanfare but with
unlocking the door.

"What are you going to do, kill me?" Clover sneered, not thrown off for
a moment. "You know we're immortal, Bristow."

"No, but you can still feel pain," Sydney pointed out, and grabbed
Clover's right arm; Jennifer took the left, and the two carried the
kicking adolescent to the table. "I don't have time to be nice; I will
do whatever I have to do to stop the Crossover," Sydney added as she
whipped off Clover's belt and her own, and tied her to the table legs.
The animated girl spat curses at the two women, until Jennifer stuffed
some cloth into her mouth and tied it up.

"Now, first of all, who's the Fan you're tied to?" asked Jennifer.

Clover mumbled something that sounded like "Fuck you Garner."

"If that's how you want to play it..." Sydney said coldly, and removed
Clover's shoes. Palming her feet and brandishing a knife, she began to
sing. "Ten bottles of beer on the wall, ten bottles of beer..."
Clover's scream filtered through the knife as Sydney cut off her right
little toe.

"You take one down and pass it around, nine bottles of beer on the
wall... You don't watch my show much, do you? I'm not as sweet as I
look." Sydney held up Clover's right foot, and they watched as a new
toe grew in its place. "It isn't just Species, see? They come back, but
you don't want to go through that again, do you? Especially since I
might want to see if it works with thighs. Or breasts. Or heads."

Sydney smiled sweetly at the terrified Clover. "Now, my friend here
asked you a question... are you going to answer it?"

Clover nodded frantically.

* * * * * * * * * *

"So you're not Piper?" Paige asked Holly.

"No wonder that spell didn't work! It was only meant to bring the
witches together, and you ain't no witch," Melissa said, speaking for
her older sister, who was gawping at how much she looked like Jessica
Alba.

"I don't know," Eliza laughed. "I hear she's worked her magic on quite
a few guys."

"Puff up my ego some other time," Holly Marie replied. "How come you're
here?"

"The second coupling," Brittany said, drawing surprised glances from
her co-stars, who hadn't figured her for using words like "coupling."
"The one Tara was talking about. Brings us all together for a day."

"The second?" Paige and Phoebe asked together.

"Here we go again..." Kirsten sighed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Howard found himself believing every single word of what Velma and Sara
told him, as hard as it should have been. After what had happened to
"Kirsten Dunst," it was the only... logical?... explanation. But he
still told himself he wasn't going to write anything for them. No
matter what.

"Believe me, you WILL write that last one for me," Velma finished. "Do
it and I can make life very, very easy for you... or very, very hard.
You're not ready to be an orphan, are you?"

"You wouldn't."

"Look, I killed the lady who gave me life. Think I give a fuck about
YOUR mother?"

Not even Roseanne had treated her writers that badly.

* * * * * * * * * *

Michelle bounded out of her car after pulling up outside Lisa's house,
and looked behind her. She gave Max a grin and thumbs-up, and Max
returned it.

"Maybe they're having a party?" Scott suggested from across the street.
"Celebrate the end of shooting that crap?"

"Hey, it's not that bad a show," Michael argued. "After 'Loving' I
can't put down anything."

"Are we going to sit here arguing about TV or are we going in?"

Michael's eyes glazed over before he could reply, and he slumped
forward to hit the dashboard. "Mike?" Scott asked in alarm. "Mike...?"
He reached forward to see if he was okay, as a hand grabbed his
shoulder and wrenched him back.

"Don't worry, he'll be okay," a familiar voice assured him. "And so
will you."

"Ellen...?" and that was all Scott had time to say before Ellen/Shego
gripped his neck in a manner familiar to fans of "Star Trek." The only
difference was that in real life, when done by TV characters it worked
- she chuckled to herself as Scott joined Michael in the Land of Nod.

"Don't you know boys aren't allowed at slumber parties?" she cooed to
the unconscious men, and ran up to the house.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Her name's Velma Dinkley?" Jennifer repeated as she let Sydney drive
at really high speeds, while Clover was trussed up in the back seat no
longer mumbling curses after La Bristow had threatened to cut out a
certain part of her anatomy.

"It's not THAT one," Sydney assured her. "It's just a name Lisa
Thompson landed her with; pay attention."

"I know, but Velma...? I'm not sure I could take out a short freckled
lesbian," Jennifer replied, and almost went deaf at the sound of
Sydney's laughter.

"A LESBIAN?! Velma's had more pricks in her than a porcupine, and she's
the biggest lesbophobe this side of Queen Victoria. Now Betty Rubble on
the other hand..."

"Betty likes women?"

"You bet. Why do you think she and her merkin Barney adopted? Plus she
never forgave Yogi Bear for outing her. Like no one knew about him and
Boo Boo... dammit!"

Jennifer heard it too; the sound of a police car about to target them
for speeding. Sydney reluctantly pulled over and stopped, waiting for
the officer to get out. Her eyebrows raised when she saw him (and she
was glad he was a him); about their age, and pretty good-looking with
it. She prayed he was starstruck...

"Okay, Agent Bristow - what's the rush?" he said as he approached,
recognising her from the off.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

"Come on, lady, let's get this over with..." He was looking inside the
car by now, and he raised his helmet in surprise. "My God; you're
TWINS?"

"Ah, yeah! Yeah, my twin sister Jillian," Sydney replied. "Jillian"
waved at him cheerily, as the officer "whewed" to himself.

"Look, officer, we're really in a hurry, and I can't explain it, but we
have GOT to get out of here..."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I do have a job to do," the officer said
sheepishly.

Sydney brushed against the officer and whispered in his ear. Still
fairly young, he blushed somewhat and looked at them both. "Both of
you?"

"Both of us?" Jennifer asked, having a suspicion of what Sydney had
said.

"Sure," Sydney replied. "And we'll pay whatever the fine would be on
top of it."

The officer positioned himself directly on the window and unzipped his
trousers, releasing his stiffy. "That may not be necessary..."

Realising that Sydney fellating the officer might leave unwanted signs,
the "sisters" swapped places, and Jennifer Garner's sweet lips began
their work. He was kicking himself that he couldn't see inside the car,
but the feel of her tongue rolling around his prick and playing with
his foreskin, and the way those pouting lips of hers sucked away on
him, was all he needed. But...

The sun roof of the car slid back, and Jillian/Sydney emerged. She
wasn't wearing a top, and was giving him the same friendly smile that
so delighted the show's cult of viewers. "Are you two... really...
identical....?!" he moaned as Jennifer spread her hands onto his
leather-wrapped buns. He took a look down, and sighed as he watched her
brown-tressed head bobbing back and forth eagerly.

Sydney slithered out onto the roof, giving him a look at herself buck
naked; not for the first time, he splashed out at the sight of the
tall, slim woman, but this time he was pumping it directly into the
lady (though he didn't know it). "Oooooohhhhh..." he couldn't say
anything else as he stared at Sydney's wonderful little tits and
rippling body. She was a mixture of silk and stone, and he couldn't
wait to feel her lips on his face; soon she showed him how it felt.

Jennifer arose out of the car as well, and the officer mentally tore up
the ticket as they kissed either side of his face. Thinking his dreams
had come true, he began to caress both women as they fondled him,
pulling him into the car as Sydney pushed the seats back; he massaged
Jennifer's bosom with pleasure as Sydney nibbled on his back, writhing
against him. She felt his nightstick on his hips, and pulled it out as
he opened Jennifer's long legs, aching to take this to its conclusion.

Kissing Miss Garner's neck and jaw and running his hands up and down
her lean and sexy body, he fingered her warm little box for some
moments while Sydney slid one end of the stick into her cunt. Damn, she
loved how it felt working into her... she twirled it around and beamed
at how hot it made her, even if it wasn't the thick end. The officer
had pulled down his trousers prior to entering Jennifer, and Sydney
studied his meaty buns exposed to the night air. "No sense in wasting
an opening," she said to herself.

Whether the officer screamed in joy because of the nightstick (the
other end still buried inside Sydney) plunging into him or because of
him plunging into Jennifer Garner, he never knew...

* * * * * * * * * *

Luanne's alarm went off; it was time for her to get to the set. She
liked to rest in her normal self; she wasn't used to seeing that thing
she was pretending to be in the mirror before she went to bed, and
because she wasn't as hellbent on staying around her as Shego, she
didn't have enough willpower to maintain the illusion unendingly. But
when she had to be on set or out in the big bad world, she was Tracy
Ryan.

She convinced herself she was looking forward to the fight scene. She
convinced herself that she could land the "killer" blow on Gabrielle.
Above all, she convinced herself that she really did want to be the big
star Tracy Ryan.

* * * * * * * * * *

Howard didn't say a word as Velma's limousine dropped him off, the
outline for the final fantasy (so to speak) fresh in his mind. He knew
he could write well and quickly, so all he'd have to do was write it
up, send it to Velma... and then, to coin a pseud's cliche, the line
between fiction and reality would be blurred. For real and forever. And
it would be all his fault.

All those doubles and all those shows crashing into the real world...
as he sat down at his keyboard and started to type, he was hating every
word. And this combo was something he'd liked so much beforehand... but
a few words into the second sentence, it hit him. He cracked a grin as
he realised how he could-

The words he had typed onto the screen winked out of existence. "Aw,
FUCK!!!" the teenager howled at the crashing, and whirled from his
screen.

"I'm sorry, Howard," his mother smiled at him, holding the plug to the
computer, "but this is for your own good."

It was always the mothers, Howard thought. First Joyce Summers and
Sheila Rosenberg trying to burn Buffy and Willow, and now this. He
suddenly knew what it was like to be Sydney Bristow up against Irina
Derevko, and at this moment he would have gladly swapped this for a
zapping to the chest or a bullet in the shoulder...

* * * * * * * * * *

The two young men walking down the street both told themselves they had
drunk a little too much after the women were gone. That was it, they
had to have been drunk. Why else would they have seen so many hotties -
Kirsten Dunst, Rose McGowan, two Jessica Albas, Faith, SMG, Holly Marie
Combs, Alyssa Milano, that girl from 8 Mile and Dawn from Buffy - all
running by?

One of them thought it wasn't the booze, but then realised there were
two Albas. Yup, definitely the drink.

"So where are we going now?" panted Melissa.

"To the studio!" Holly replied. "We've got to find out where she went
after shooting ended."

"And YOU'RE going to ask?" Kirsten asked.

"Shit! Yeah, I can't do it. Paige, you can't; Phoebe, you can't
either...Dushku, it's all up to you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you're doing a movie with Alba," Holly explained. "Tell
whoever's on duty you were supposed to meet her somewhere afterwards,
but that she never told you. Alba looks like a ditz anyway, so he'll
understand..."

"You and me are gonna have a long talk when this is done," Jessica said
stiffly.

"We're never gonna get there at this rate!" Brittany grumbled.

"Yeah, Paige... a little help?" Phoebe asked.

"Everybody hold hands," Paige agreed, and all the ladies did so. "It's
a bit weird the first time, but you get used to it..."

The women orbed out, and rematerialized a few yards away from the
studios, thankfully away from anyone watching. The orbing did come as a
surprise to the non-fictional among them, but it wasn't any of them who
suddenly gasped and fell back.

"Pheebs?" Paige asked, as she and Jessica helped her up. "What
happened? Did you get a vision?"

"Yeah... just before we orbed. I took Alba's hand, and..."

"And what?"

"And I saw her fighting a girl and getting killed on a rooftop... she
got run through with a sword."

"Are you sure it wasn't Ashley?" Melissa asked in a mixture of dread
and relief. "You're sure...?"

"Damn sure," Phoebe replied. "She even called her by name."

"Who was it?" Brittany asked. "Did you see her face?"

* * * * * * * * * *

"Glad you could be here," Piper laughed, hugging Michelle.

"Good to be here," Michelle replied as she finished her drink. "So
where's everyone else?"

"Oh, they'll be here," Max assured her. "Alyssa'll be along soon as
well. And Rose."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to leave her out of the orgy."

"Orgy?" Michelle asked. "How many of us are gonna be here?"

"Just the six of us," Piper replied. "Michelle, meet Ellen Devereaux.
She's got first dibs after me."

"First dibs on who?" Michelle asked, dreading the answer.

Ellen, Max and Piper all pointed at her...

* * * * * * * * * *

The owner of the weaponry shop propped herself up in pain, her blood
gushing from her sternum and covering the floor. The assailant had
wounded her but not enough to wipe her out; she made her way to the
button under the counter and reached a quaking finger up to press it.

Just after she pressed it to summon the cops, a bullet sliced it off;
she fell back in agony by the feet of the robber. "That's a nasty wound
you got there," the villain said conversationally. "You'll be a while
dying from that, but this little beauty here is a good weapon. So good
that I'm going to do you a favour and make it quick."

Thankful that she still had plenty of time before the Crossover ended
or became permanent, Brin pumped two bullets into the store owner's
head, looked appreciatively at the sword she had taken, and left.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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