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From: "Silver Clt Nominations" <silver-clt@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The May Silver Clitoride Award
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Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 01:10:01 -0400
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"Kenny, you haven't posted the May Silver Clits, yet?"

I looked over and shook my head, involuntarily looking a little sheepish.  
But suzee knew me too well, even without my embarrassment written all over 
my face, she could read me like a cheap paperback.

"You haven't even started yet have you?"  I blushed.  "Kenny, you've had a 
week since we got back from that vacation.  You should be rested."

"Yeah, but I can't seem to get anything down.  The words just aren't 
coming."

suzee sighed and said,"'I looked at the clock and in horror saw that we had 
forty minutes to catch the flight from the airport that was eighty miles 
away.'  Start with that and work from there."  She stepped part way out of 
the office and turned back around to me.  "And quit play solitaire."

Alone in the office with the computer, a cat, and the voices of Dan 
Dickerson and Jim Price, I sat and pondered.  I pondered and sat.  I 
pondered just a little more then moved the red two over the black three.  
The computer dinged and told me I was out of legal moves.

I felt stuck.  When leaving on our flight I thought that maybe I would use a 
western theme seeing as how two of the finalists were westerns, but that 
would shortchange the other nominees.  Besides, I would be too much like 
April's announcement.  I needed something fresh, like the broccoli that the 
cat was begging for.

I looked down at him.  "I done with dinner and don't have anymore broccoli."

"Nuts," said the cat.  "You never give me any of the good stuff.  I bet I 
don't get any of the cantaloupe that suzee bought either."

"You talk."

"No," the cat said rolling his eyes.  "You are just suffering from a 
writer's block generated hallucination.  And not a very original one seeing 
as how you're lifting it from a Michael Dalton story."

"Yeah, but how many readers would've known that if you hadn't mentioned it.  
That story was posted years ago."  I shook a finger at him.  "Besides, that 
cat actually could talk.  You've admitted that you're an hallucination.  So, 
it's not the same thing."

"'So it's not the same thing'," the cat mimicked in a high pitched, nasally 
voice.  "Jeeze, here you are supposed to be writing an announcement for an 
award and what are you doing instead: writing a stream of conscience work 
about an argument with an hallucination.  An argument that you are losing I 
might point out."

"You're winning?"  My voice filled with idignation.

"Yes, and indignation isn't spelled that way."

"That's a typo."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Well, if you think that you could do better," the cat rolled his eyes 
again, "you can write it."

"I can't.  He got a hurt look when I snickered in triumph and lifted his 
paw.  "You try typing with this, you stupid monkey."

"Kenny, there's a British officer at the door.  He wants you to stop being 
silly," suzee said as she entered the office.  While leaving, she added, 
"Get to work and quit wasting time arguing with that hallucination.  It's 
winning and you're embarrassing yourself."

The cat looked up at me a gloated.

"Okay, if that's the way it's gonna be.

"The winner of the May Silver Clitoride award is 'Washed Up' by Lazlong.  
Hearty well done for Lazlong and all the finalists and nominees for the 
month."

_________________________________________________________________
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