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Subject: {ASSM} Girl Fag (revised) chapter 1 by Rachael Ross
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Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2006 09:10:05 -0400
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Annie is a 14yo girl trying to understand her newfound sexuality. She's
pretty sure she should have been born a guy, but can't deny her
attraction for 'other' boys. Is it possible to be a gay boy trapped in
a heterosexual girl's body? And if so, what does that mean? With the
help of her 6 brothers, 3 best friends, and football coach, Annie is
determined to find out what makes her tick.



Copyright 2004 Rachael Ross all rights reserved.

Codes for this story in its entirety:
m+/f, M+/f, Romance, Humor, Masturbation, (bro/sis) Incest, BDSM, Oral,
Anal, Public, Voyeur, Cream Pie, Gay Male Themes, Teen, First

Now let me explain a little: There is no overt gay male sex and if you
read the first two paragraphs you'll understand better the theme that
this story is predicated upon. I did not invent the term "Girl Fag" I
found it someplace and it sounded interesting, something rather obscure
that I hadn't seen any other stories about. I like new things. Strange
things because they really make you work towards an understanding. Boy
meats girl is so boring to write.

If you have any feedback, whatsoever, please let me know, by email, or
my Blog, or whatever. This story just comes out in a rush. I have no
outline, no previously prepared story arcs or plot points, I'm just
winging it. So what you like/don't like...what is hard to understand,
or outrageously unbelievable...Well, the story is supposed to be over
the top anyway. Suggestions, etc. Let me know, okay? I don't expect
much for scores, but that's not why I'm here really. Best always,
Rachael.


Girl Fag
By Rachael

=-=-=|=-=-=-=

Chapter One

Girl Fag: (Noun)* A genetic female who identifies sexually and
emotionally with male homosexual behavior; a female engaged in
heterosexual role-play as a homosexual male; a female impersonating a
male for the purpose of sexual and/or emotional gratification with or
without the knowledge of her (male) partner.

Girl Fag: (Deviant) (Usage: Uncommon;Modern)** Term used to describe
females who assume the characteristic behavior and mannerisms of
homosexual men physically, emotionally, and/or sexually. Such persons
are generally not considered true transgender as the preferred
relationship is by definition heterosexual, although sexual activity is
most often limited to oral, anal, and (less common) strap-on, fisting,
etc. Normal sexual intercourse, and any sexual activity involving the
female genitalia, is usually considered undesirable and unnecessary for
gratification. A Girl Fag may be Dominant or submissive, but there is
no evidence to indicate a 'classic' proclivity for such persons to
assume one role over the other.

	 * "21st Century Kama Sutra" by Ross R. PhD {Sexual Rumors
Ch6.pgs101-107} (2001) National Academy of Letters, Bangkok, Thailand
	** "Sin Bravely" by Pavageau L. PhD {Angels Without Wings Ch3.pgs
43-44, 51-60} (2002) Santa Fe Institute Press

=-=-=|=-=-=

People around here say I can fix anything. They boasts about it, as if
that was something for me to be proud of. I mean, I don't mind being
able to fix things and I am proud of it, don't get me wrong, but I
can't fix everything. No matter what folks tell you. But I'd better
start a little closer to the beginning maybe.

I grew up the only girl in a house with 7 men, my Daddy and my six
older brothers. My mom left us when I was pretty small. I guess she had
issues with testosterone, since the person she ran off with was an
exotic dancer named Suzy. That's pretty much when my life changed
dramatically, but I was only 4 years old so any change was bound to be
dramatic. I suppose my Dad was a little upset about losing his wife to
another woman. That would be sort of hard to deal with, especially for
a manly man like Daddy. Lou Diamond Philips sent Daddy a post card
though, but I don't think it helped much. I know the guys around town
gave him a hard time about it, just like my brothers got it at school.
It wasn't like it was much of a secret in a town with one stop light.

They only turned that stoplight on during Christmas, so it flashed
green and red, by the way. But the third year they did that, a guy
passing through hit Old Man Davidson's truck. So, they don't turn it on
at all anymore. It just hangs there. And that, I reckon, symbolizes our
town and lives better than most words might. I sympathize with that
stoplight sometimes, and I think I should climb up one of the poles
it's tethered to and cut it down. But then what? It's just a
stoplight.

I think sometimes I should do something about myself too. But I'm
just a girl.

Back to fixing stuff...No. Back to my big change. Gosh it's hard to
find the beginning of things sometimes, isn't it? Like I say, my mom
ran off with the only exotic dancer in town, so that was big news. A
lesbian, for most people around here, was like a foreign film. They'd
heard about 'em, but never seen one. Never wanted to, for the most
part...it might require some thinking. My Daddy is like that and when I
was 4 he decided I wasn't going to be running off with no lesbian
strippers. I dressed in boys clothes, old hand me downs from my 6
brothers...That earned me the nickname 'Patches' in the neighborhood,
and worse 'Raggedy Ann' when I was in the second grade.

That's my name, by the way, Ann, so it wasn't much of a stretch even
for an inbred like Tommy Wirtengale. His brother married my cousin,
Janey, so I see him every now and again. He still calls me 'Raggedy
Ann' but I think it's more a term of endearment for him. He calls his
wife 'The Heifer' and I really wish I could say she had a tattoo on her
ass that said 'USDA Approved' but she doesn't, so far as I know. We
don't like each other much, The Heifer and me, mostly because she looks
like a cow, but I was Miss Dairy once precisely because I don't.

Boasting is for fools though; I just want to make clear that I never
did let Tommy in my panties, no matter what it says in the men's room
at our local tavern, The Junction...

There once was a woman named Annie
Who liked big dicks up her fanny
But I snuck into her twat
And I came quite a lot
So I think she'll be needin' a nanny!

I happen to know he wrote that stupid limerick himself. Just for the
record, I did have a bit of a reputation once upon a time. Not really
the bad sort, just the kind a girl living in a small town gets when
she's...different. It could have been much, much worse, believe me. I'm
not pregnant, either. Momma didn't raise no fool. In fact momma didn't
raise me at all, so...Where was I?

Oh, I was dressing as a boy mostly and Daddy would cut my hair short,
like my brothers had to wear theirs. The only time I was allowed to
dress up was on Sundays for church, otherwise Daddy kept all my girl
clothes locked up in the cedar chest, along with my dolls and my
jewelry and the little things I'd collected, you know. I didn't have
any real jewelry, of course, it was all just plastic mostly, and cut
glass that sparkled. I sort of had a ring that was real. It had
belonged to my Grandmother, and Daddy said it was going to be mine when
I was old enough. It was gold and had a little diamond in it. Not a
very big one, but it was real. I got to look at it sometimes.

Now, my Daddy is a mechanic. He owns his own garage and that was the
place all my brothers worked every summer and after school the rest of
the year. Naturally enough, I spent most of my time there too. I
learned just about everything there is to know about cars. We even
built a couple, including that '68 Firebird convertible parked out
front. That was my 16th birthday present from my brothers and it
wasn't always a convertible, but that's the kind of things we did
to cars. They told me we were rebuilding it for some collector in
Seattle. If I'd known it was really for me I'd have painted it candy
apple red instead of midnight blue. My brother's hate painting, that's
why I do it mostly. I hate welding, personally. If I ever hear the
words, 'It's gotta look like a roll of nickels!' again, I'm going puke.
Only another arc head knows what that means, the rest of you...count
yourselves lucky. It's worse than learning the piano, and I know
because I did that too.

Of course, there aren't always a lot of cars that need fixing in a
little town like ours, even though people bring us cars from as far
away as Boise and Portland. We took a Lexus that belonged to Ichiro and
made it into a low rider with a Maybach V12 under the hood. It was a
gift for the Emperor, or Brittany Spears, or somebody. He sent us a
picture of him cruising with it in Tokyo. But even with the out of town
work, there was still a lot of time on our hands. So, we got used to
fixing anything that a person could bring by. We fixed washing
machines, televisions, bicycles, lawn mowers, boats, ceiling fans,
milking machines...heck, I even fixed an airplane once.

Fella landed out by Four Tires, which is where 4 tires are nailed to an
old dead tree and everybody goes out there for keggers. He had a little
Cessna and we didn't have a manual or anything, but a bad fuel pump is
a bad fuel pump. He was just lucky he didn't die! You'd never get me up
in one of those things! Of course it was big news, having an airplane
land on the county road and all. A reporter came all the way from
Spokane, since I guess nothing ever happens there, even though they
have 5 or 6 stoplights. They took my picture, smiling and covered with
grease, holding that bad old fuel pump like it was an Olympic Medal.
That was the reporter's idea, not mine.

SQUINOSHA GIRL SAVES THE DAY

That's what the headline said, because our town is named Squinosha
after some local Indian tribe that was run out of the county back when
they thought there was silver here. I think they went to the peninsula
and opened a casino. Anyway, I didn't save the day. I just changed out
the fuel pump and we billed that guy up the wazoo for it too! I mean
his airplane was sitting in the middle of the road! What was he going
to do? Barter? He tried it though. That's why my Daddy has a Rolex now,
Oyster Perpetual, whatever that means. It's nice, I guess.

The article in the paper was sort of nice too. It said:

'...16 year old Ann Russet was last month's Homecoming Queen for
Squinosha-Edmons-Wilverness High School. When she isn't busy fixing
airplanes, the Academic All-American enjoys football, hunting, and rock
climbing. Donald Eversman, the Mayor of Squinosha Township explained,
"Ann was Miss Washington Dairy last summer and we're hoping she'll
enter the Miss Teen Washington Pageant next spring. That girl can do
most anything she puts her mind to, fixing airplanes or baking up a
fresh Washington Apple Pie; it all comes natural to our Annie." Natural
indeed. As this reporter found out, there's nothing shy about Miss
Russet. When asked about the incident, the rural teen beauty queen
replied, "Hell, it was just a bleepin fuel pump. I yanked that
bleep-bleeper out by the bleeps, twisted some wires and bleeped it like
a 3 dollar bleep. The whole bleepin thing was done by noon. I even
threw in a bleep-bleep cause the guy was so bleepin cute." It seems
Miss Russet certainly has a way with words, as well as airplanes. The
plane's owner, Mr. George Timley of Coeur D'Alene, married and the
father of two, could not be reached for comment regarding the
incident...'

The Mayor was doing his best to hide the fact that I was anything but
natural, and trying to sell me as just a cute little homemaker with a
wrench in her apron sort of aggravated me. But that's what folks do
in a small town, you know? Anyway, I got in a little trouble because of
all my swearing, but honestly...I'd been tired, menstruating, and tits
deep in a 1958 International Harvester combine when that reporter came
around. I really didn't think they'd print it, even using bleeps
instead of words!

"Well, I guess you can forget about being Miss Teen Washington!" My 3rd
oldest brother, Henry laughed.

"Shut up, Henry!" David, my 5th oldest brother said. "Daddy's back from
the liquor store. You ready to play, Annie?"

I gave him a dirty look. "Yeah. So what." I took some sand paper to the
plug I was holding, filing it like I would my fingernails, if I had
any, very gently.

"Annie?" I heard Daddy calling for me. "Come on out here girl, we need
to talk."

"Talk hell!" Henry giggled softly. "Yes Daddy!" He called out in a high
pitched falsetto and I punched him in the arm as I walked by.

"Right now, girl!" Daddy always called me girl. Like he needed to
remind me or something.

"Just a bleepin minute Daddy!" Henry called again and then he was
running out the other way, with David laughing close behind.

I frowned and rubbed my ass through my coveralls. I didn't have much
padding back there, I was small all around really. Narrow hips, small
round butt, my boobs were nice sized, if you like that kind of thing. I
mostly thought they were just big enough to get me in trouble and I
seriously considered getting a boob job, a reduction I should say.
I'd be happy with no tits at all. But that wasn't really on my mind
right then. I knew what Daddy was going to do, all of us kids did. It
was a game we grew up with.

"Annie, I'm gonna teach you a new game..." He'd said once.

I think I was six or so, that time he'd caught me playing finger
puppets with Marilee Hoskins. She was my older cousin, almost 16 then,
and she knew a lot of good tricks. It didn't really feel good for me at
the time, but she swore that when I was older, I'd thank her for
showing them to me.

"What game is that, Daddy?" I'd asked, trying to pull up my trousers
real quick.

"You get on home Marilee." Daddy looked at the girl and she was getting
her panties up in a hurry! I remember thinking how lucky she was that
her Daddy let her dress like a girl. "This game is called Trip to the
Woodshed, Annie."

That's what we were going to play now, 10 years later, all because that
stupid reporter from Spokane had quoted me word for bleepin word. Well,
technically we didn't have a woodshed, so it should have been called
"Trip to the Generator Shack" but woodshed sounded better somehow.

"Yes Daddy?" I was wiping my hands on a rag, figuring I'd stuff it in
my back pocket. Every little bit helps, believe me.

"Did you see this?" He was holding up the newspaper from Spokane.
Larry, the druggist who owned the liquor store, had gotten 30 copies
and was selling them for two dollars each, even though they were only
70 cents in Spokane. It sort of explained why he was selling beer now,
instead of Viagra. The big Walmart opened up over in Beaverton and most
folks went there for their prescription stuff. All the rest, like
combs, and film, and condoms, Larry sold right there at the counter
next to little airline bottles of vodka.

If life has taught me nothing else, it's that all a town really needs
to survive is a gas station, a liquor store, and a 7-11. A bar don't
hurt none either, unless it has lesbian dancers. The Junction lost a
little business for awhile there, but then the Kelroyce sisters, Emma
and Geena, came back from the war and it picked up again. They're twins
and that explains a lot probably.

Now you're probably thinking this is the part where I tell you how my
Daddy put me over his knee, pulled my britches down and paddled my bare
butt until it was red. How I was biting back my tears and promising
never to say bleep again! You might think I'm going to tell you how he
always rubs my bare little behind afterwards, massaging it with his big
calloused hand until it starts feeling better again, so much better I
have to spread my legs just a little so he can rub a little lower too.
Perhaps Daddy even likes it when I tell him how sorry I am for making
him spank me like that. How I turn around on his lap, letting him feel
my young female form against his strong manly chest, since I know he
hasn't been with a woman since momma left us. Daddy's manhood is
pressing up against me, all swollen from spanking the prettiest girl in
3 counties, his very own daughter. A blonde haired, blue eyed, 16 year
old grease monkey who would one day have dirty poems written about her
on men's bathroom walls. Yep, I bet you think I'm gonna tell you all
about that stuff, huh?

What do they call that? Oh...middle-aged male sexual angst? Thanks.

Where was I? Oh...You might think growing up as a boy was a strange
thing. Well, let me tell you...it was. By the time I was eight I'd
pretty much given up on wearing dresses, even on Sundays. It just felt
too weird, you know? I'd put on my little pink panties, a white
dress, or maybe my blue one sometimes. Little white lacy ankle socks
and little black shoes. My hair was short like a boy's, cut above my
ears, so I'd wear a little hat mostly, with a ribbon around it to
match my dress. It didn't look as bad as it sounds. But it
felt...wrong.

I was a boy, I was pretty sure, although I didn't know exactly why I
didn't have a thing down there like my brothers did. When I got my
first period though I finally got over my denial and that was hard.
Probably harder than it was for any of the other girls in town. I was
really mad at my body. Anyway, in a small house in Squinosha,
Washington there just isn't a whole lot of room for modesty. I shared
my room with my two youngest brothers, Greg and Henry, who were 1 year
and 22 months older than me respectively. My four other brothers shared
two other bedrooms, but we all shared the one bathroom. Being naked
around a bunch of boys wasn't any big deal then and still isn't
today.

This causes problems for other kids though. When I was 14 and got to
Middle School, in the eighth grade, I tried out for football. For most
of the kids at school I was just another guy, although a lot of them
treated me strange. But nobody gave me a hard time, mostly because I
wasn't afraid to get in a fight, you know? I felt like that guy in
that song 'A Boy Named Sue' except I wasn't really a boy and my
name was Ann. My brothers didn't mind a good fight either, we
practiced a lot at home, of course, so generally if somebody was going
to fight one of the Russet boys (me included) he'd better be bringing
his whole freakin' family, you know? Because we did.

One good thing though was that I could fix anything, like I said, and
my brothers mostly just fixed stuff for girls, or their friends, so
lots of guys I didn't even know would be nice to me and ask me to
help them do a brake job, or maybe roll back the odometer on their
dad's cars. Fixing stuff was my ticket to acceptance. Some kids are
the class clowns, you know? I was the class mechanic. Those guys
didn't hit on me or anything. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt,
with short hair and no make-up at all. They just called me buddy mostly
or dude, and we'd hang out. Somebody would swipe some beers, another
guy would have a few cigarettes, and we'd be like any other bunch of
teenage boys.

"Hey, check it out!" John Relton always had something for us to
check out. "I found it in my old man's tool box."

I was under Kyle's car, fixing his oil pan because he'd tried to
change the oil himself and had stripped the plug. I could hear the guys
giggling and whispering and that was sort of strange. We were all 14 or
15, except Kyle, he'd just turned 16, and the only reason we ever
whispered was if somebody's parents were around. I crawled out from
under the car and looked up at the guys, sitting on the hood.

"What you got?" I started getting up, wiping my hands on my jeans.
They were looking at a magazine, John and my three best friends, Kyle
Glass, Matthew Lickler (who had the worst name in school, obviously)
and Lance Finley.

"Uh, nothing." John was trying to hide it and all the guys sort of
looked away from me.

"What?" I grabbed the warm Buckhorn beer I'd been drinking and
took a swig. "You better show me, dude." I laughed at them, because
they looked so guilty. We were at Kyle's house, in his garage and his
parents were always working, so mostly we hung out there.

"Yeah, just show her." Kyle shrugged and grabbed the magazine from
behind John's back and opened it up in his lap. It was a Penthouse,
dog eared and old. I leaned against the car next to Kyle, looking down
at it.

"What do ya think, Annie?" Matt asked me, he was a little nervous I
thought and I didn't know why exactly. I'd grown up with these
guys.

Kyle had opened it up to the Pet of the Month picture spread and the
girl was bare ass naked, showing everything, even her shaved pussy.
"She's got no hair!" I laughed and we stared at it for a long
minute. "That's pretty cool though. Turn the page already."

Kyle turned the page and then she was on her hands and knees, facing
away from the camera, but looking over her shoulder, smiling like it
was her birthday.

"Holy crap!" Lance breathed.

"That's a big butt!" I stared at the picture.

All the guys were sort of quiet as we crowded around Kyle, turning
pages slowly, back and forth, looking through all the spreads. "I bet
she's the most beautiful woman in the world!" John said.

We were looking at one of the other girls, a blonde woman wearing some
kind of leather bikini and she had a dog collar around her neck.

"No way." Kyle shook his head. "This chick's hotter." He
flipped it back to the Pet of the month on her knees, having marked
that page with his thumb.

"I like the other one." Matt said. "The one John said."

"Nah." Lance agreed with Kyle. "That one in the middle is totally
intense, dude." He was practically drooling.

"Yeah." I nodded. "That one. She needs a tune-up bad!" I
giggled, but I was feeling sort of weird too. Like hot inside, I
wasn't sure why. And it seemed like my boobs were trying to grow a
little. I thought maybe it was that crappy beer, because really the
pictures weren't nearly as exciting to me as it was seeing my
friends' reactions.

"You like this one?" John looked at me. All the guys looked at me.

"Yeah." I lifted my hands a little. "She's hot."

"You're a girl though!" Lance blurted out.

I just looked at him. "Huh?"

"Shut-up Lance." Kyle hit him on the thigh, trying to give him a
Charlie-horse. "She ain't a real girl."

I didn't exactly know how I was supposed to feel about that, but I
guess at the time I mostly liked it. I wasn't a real girl, not like
the woman in that magazine, I knew that. The guys were quiet for a few
minutes after that, maybe wondering what I was going to say. But I
didn't say anything. I just looked at the magazine, like they did.

"Hey, look at this." Kyle had found the Letter's part of the
magazine.

"Dear sirs," He started reading out loud. "I want to tell you
about how I ended up sleeping with my wife and her sister."

"God dang!" John laughed a little nervously and looked around at
us.

"My wife is a real fox, 5'4" tall, dark haired and perfectly
proportioned, with real 36C tits and a great ass. Her name is Raquel
and her sister, Caroline, is her identical twin!" Kyle continued and
we all held our breath. "One night Caroline came over to our house,
crying and heart broken because her long-term boyfriend had left her
for another woman."

"That's ass!" Lance whispered.

"Maybe that's the Kelroyce sisters" John had big brown eyes.

"Shut-up!" Matt shushed him.

Kyle looked at us real quick and then went back to reading. "My wife
and I were always close to Caroline and so it was only natural that we
tried to comfort the 20 year old woman. I suggested that maybe a little
wine would be good, hoping that the alcohol would relax her. As we sat
in the living room drinking our wine, Caroline did seem to calm down
and my wife, who doesn't handle her alcohol well at all..."

"Light weight!" John grinned because he was always falling down if
he drank a beer too fast. Everybody called him light weight.

"Like you!" I grinned at him.

"...was getting a little horny. We were all sitting close together on
the sofa, Caroline on one side and Raquel on the other with me in the
middle of those two beautiful women. I soon found myself kissing my
wife and our hands were all over each other when I heard Caroline
whispering 'What about me?' My wife looked into my eyes and smiled.
'Yeah, what about my sister?' she asked me. Well, what could I do?
I turned and Caroline's soft lips found mine while my wife started
pulling my straining cock out of my pants..."

"Jeeeze!" Lance breathed and we all giggled a little nervously
because I think all of us were picturing that little scene in our
heads. Even me and I don't even have a penis!

"Cock!" Matt grinned and we giggled more at the dirty word.

"Shhh..." I waved at them. "Keep going." I told Kyle and I felt
like there were ants crawling inside my stomach.

"...Soon Raquel took my 10" schlong in her mouth, stretching her
lips over the enormous head of my tool and taking me all the way into
her throat! My wife loves deep throating my cock and it felt so good
while I was pushing my tongue into her twin sister's mouth..."

"Schlong!" Matt laughed and gave Lance a high five.

I pushed off the car and went to the toolbox, finding a 10" Craftsman
Adjustable Wrench. I held it up grinning at the guys. "Hey, look! I
got a 10" tool."

"That chick was sucking a dick that big?" John looked down a little
self-consciously, all the guys did I think, and then sort of avoided
looking at each other.

"Wait! Like this..." I was grinning and I turned around, away from
the guys so I could surprise them. I turned back around and the wrench
was sticking out through my zipper while I held it in my hand.

"That guy's lying." Lance shook his head. "Nobody has a dick
that big."

"Some guys do I bet." John looked at my wrench.

"Yeah." Kyle laughed. "And some guys don't!"

"How big's yours?" I asked John. I'd seen it before, when
we'd go out to Silver Lake swimming. I'd seen all these guys naked
and they'd seen me too, but I never thought about if they were big or
not. Ten inches looked pretty huge.

"I don't know..."

"Bigger than it was a little bit ago!" Matt laughed and pushed him.

"Mine too!" Lance grinned.

"You guys want to hear this or not?" Kyle looked around at us.

"Yeah...sure...yep..." We all agreed and I walked back over, still
holding my wrench as I sat next to Kyle. I had to pull it out though
finally, but I kept it close just for luck.

"...A few minutes later I could hardly believe it when Caroline moved
her head down next to my wife's and both of the girls started taking
turns sucking my cock. One would slide her pretty mouth up and down the
thick shaft, while the other one would lick and kiss my heavy balls. It
wasn't long before I felt my orgasm building and it just happened to
be Caroline who had her mouth on my prick when I couldn't hold back
any longer! AAAGGHHH!..." Kyle paused while everybody imitated the
sound, wide-eyed and laughing. "...AAAGGHHH! 'I'm cumming!' I
warned my gorgeous sister-in-law and she immediately started sucking
harder while my wife watched, urging her sister to take it all.
'Swallow it sis! Swallow all that cum! Doesn't it taste good?'
Hearing my wife's voice talking like that really pushed me over the
edge and I groaned as my sperm shot down Caroline's eager
throat..."

"Gross!" Lance made a face.

"Yeah, no doubt dude!" John nodded.

I tried to imagine doing that and couldn't. I'd seen sperm before,
mostly old and kind of dried sperm from my brothers when they'd have
a wet dream, or sometimes I'd find a towel in the bathroom hamper
that one of them had used to jerk off. But I'd only caught one of
them actually doing it. That had been my oldest brother Steven when he
was in the shower. I caught him a bunch of times and I think he left
the door unlocked on purpose. But I didn't stick around to watch him
and I wondered what that stuff was like when it was fresh.

"I heard Kelly Macken does that." Kyle said.

"Kelly Macken?" Matt looked at him. "She's skank dude!"

"Maybe that's why!" John laughed.

"Lots of girls do it." I said, feeling a little self-conscious.

"How would you know?" Kyle looked at me.

"What do you mean, how would I know? I hear stuff." I frowned a
little. "They talk about it sometimes. My cousin Marilee does it."

"Really?" Matt grinned and I ignored him.

"She's old though." I shrugged.

"Would you do it?" Lance looked at me.

"You want me to hit you?" I stared at him.

"No, but I mean...you know..."

"Shut-up." Matt told him and all the guys were quiet again, now
that they'd been reminded I wasn't really a guy like them.

"After Caroline had swallowed my cum, I sat back feeling very relaxed
and it was then that I got a real surprise. My wife, Raquel, took
Caroline into her arms and they began kissing. I sat in stunned
disbelief as I watched the twin sisters make out passionately just a
few feet in front of me! They undressed each other slowly and I
marveled at how identical they truly were. Both of them had perfect
bodies, but more to the point, they were both clean shaven between
their legs! It was amazing and the sight of my wife and her sister
getting down and dirty made my cock harden again immediately..."

I thought about that girl in the magazine, she'd been clean shaven
too. I didn't have much hair then, being just 14 years old, but I had
a little. I sort of liked it because it made me feel older and covered
up my pussy. I really wished I had a dick.

"I wish I had a dick." I said, pretty much without thinking about
it.

"Huh?" Kyle looked up at me.

"You wish you had a dick, Ann?" John laughed.

"I got one, it's hard too." Lance sort of rubbed himself through
his corduroys.

"Me too." Matt grinned. "That's a cool story. Keep reading."

I noticed all the guys were kind of rubbing themselves through their
pants and I felt like I wanted to do it too. I was warm and I felt a
little moist down there, like I do sometimes when I'm on my period,
but this was different. I didn't have a pad either, I imagined I
could feel that wetness trickling down my thighs, since I was wearing
some boxers and that was all. They were loose under my jeans.

"...Raquel and Caroline were soon on the floor, engaged in a hot
passionate 69 that made my mouth water. I sat there stroking my massive
penis slowly, enjoying the erotic view that my eyes were feasting on. I
could see my wife's long pink tongue as she pushed it deep into her
sister's fiery sex, tongue fucking her twin while Caroline returned
the favor. Raquel was lying on her back, pulling Caroline's pussy
open with her fingers and I could only imagine what that beautiful
pussy must have tasted like..."

"Oh man!" Matt groaned. I watched in shocked surprise as the 15
year old boy that I'd known since kindergarten unzipped his pants and
pulled his penis free. It was hard and about half as long as the wrench
I was holding.

A second later Lance had his cock out too, about the same size as
Matt's, and the two boys rubbed themselves slowly.

"What are you guys doing?" John was shocked too.

"What? You never beat off?" Matt looked at him.

"N-No..." John turned a little red and Kyle laughed at him. I
thought it was funny too, but I forgot to laugh, since I was staring at
Lance and Matt.

"Do it, dude." Lance urged him. "Just whip it out, it's
cool."

"But what about..." John looked at me and the other guys did too.

"What?" I snorted. "Just do it if you want. I don't care." I
acted like it didn't mean anything at all to me if he did it or not.
But really, I was feeling seriously light-headed right then. Like I was
going to fall down and I leaned back on the car, bracing myself with my
hands on the hood.

Kyle grinned at me. He was sitting close, right next to me, so our legs
were touching and I looked at him too. I'd never noticed how blue his
eyes were before. I swallowed nervously.

"What?" I challenged.

"Nothin." He smiled more. "You still wish you had a dick?"

John was taking his penis out too and it was bigger than the other
boys, which surprised us all I think. But it was only a little bigger.
I glanced at it and then looked down, blushing.

"Yeah, I don't know." I said, not really knowing what I was doing
or feeling.

"You can feel mine if you want." He said softly and a little
nervously, like the words got stuck.

"Huh?" I looked up again.

"I gotta read, so..." He licked his lips. "If you want to, you
know."

You know how certain things happen and it like changes your life
forever? I knew, somehow, I just knew that if I did it. If I touched
him, or any of my buddies then...Everything would be different. I
wouldn't be one of the guys anymore. Kyle wasn't asking Matt or
Lance or John if they wanted to feel his dick. He was asking me.
Because I was a girl. I wanted to do it, more than anything, just so I
could close my eyes and pretend it was my dick. That I was a guy like
them and I could jerk off like any other boy. But the price was too
high. Even a 14 year old motor head like me could figure that out.

"No!" I gave him a disgusted look. "I ain't a fag!"

And everybody laughed at that, even Kyle, and it was okay again. I was
one of the guys again and not a girl like in that magazine who would do
the stuff they did. I regret my decision sometimes, wondering how it
might have changed my life later. But really, I doubt it would have
changed much at all.

"Yeah, she ain't a fag, Kyle!" Lance grinned at me and I
remembered when we were 12, how he and I had fought over a dollar
we'd both found at the same time. I'd given him a bloody nose and
he gave me a black eye. Then, without apologizing, we'd bought a pack
of baseball cards with the dollar and split them up. He got the Sammy
Sosa, but I got Alex Rodriguez and we split the gum. Everything was
fine after that.

"Here, just give me that." I said.

I took the magazine from Kyle and he got off the car, standing around
like our friends, jerking off while I read the letter. His dick was
nice too, bigger than John's even and I felt more than a little
envious. It was totally confusing my brain, believe me.

"...uh, Without thinking I got off the sofa and knelt behind my
lovely sister-in-law's perfect ass, straddling my wife's head with
my knees, and positioned my huge cock at the entrance of Caroline's
tender womb. My wife didn't even slow down when she saw my sperm
filled balls hanging over her face, she just tickled my shaft with her
tongue and guided my prick with her hand, urging me to fill her
sister's tight warm and more than ready hole! Caroline cried out with
muffled joy as she felt my hot shaft of man-meat splitting her tender
walls and when I was balls deep as far as I could get, Raquel started
sucking my balls! I was in heaven..."

So, I was trying to read, but mostly I was watching my best friends rub
their dicks until they started cumming. They tried to see who could
shoot the furthest, and who could shoot the most, and it was pretty
funny. When they were done I tossed the magazine and slid back under
the car, but I didn't tap that oil plug, mostly I just thought about
having a penis of my own and standing with my friends, jerking off
while we looked at a magazine. I rubbed my pussy through my britches
the way Marilee showed me. And she was right, I was grateful. Sorta. I
was a little ashamed though too; it might have felt good, but it didn't
feel right.

That at least will give you some idea of how different my relationship
with boys was. I suppose you're thinking I was a lesbian. That my
Daddy, in his eagerness to keep me from turning into the sort of woman
my mom was, had gone too far and had turned me into the very thing he
feared. But no, he hadn't even though I thought sometimes that maybe I
was almost a lesbian. Like that first time I saw a Penthouse. I really
did try to imagine what it would be like being with that beautiful
woman in the pictures, but only as a boy. I had some thoughts about
girls at school too, and that wasn't really my fault either, since I
hung out all day, every day with teenaged boys whose brains turned to
sex every 12.3 seconds.

We talked about which girls were hot and which were dogs; who put out
and who didn't; and generally the consensus was that just about
anything with two legs and no dick was fair game. I'd laugh and nod
and say "Yeah, I'd do her!" but in my head I was thinking I'd
only do it if I had a cock and balls. Maybe. I didn't want to just
lick another girl, and do all that touching and stuff. Where's the
fun in that? A guy would be different though. I thought sometimes that
touching a guy, or just kissing, would be pretty good even if we
didn't go all the way.

And so my thoughts, for the most part, when I was alone, sort of
evolved into which guys I'd like to do it with. I started telling
myself, "Yeah, I'm a girl so..." But the idea of a guy
doing...that...to me. Sticking his thing in my pussy, just totally
didn't do it at all. I thought mostly about kissing them, sometimes
sucking them if I was horny, or just jerking them off. Sometimes it was
Kyle in my dreams, sometimes Lance or Matt or John, sometimes all of
them. Sometimes it was just a stranger, or one of the other boys in
school. Even my own brothers weren't exempt from my thoughts, when I
was really horny.

I didn't want sex though...No, I did want sex. I just didn't want
intercourse. I didn't know what I wanted and it was confusing the
hell out of me! There wasn't anybody I could talk to about that. I
felt like the ultimate imposter. I was pretending to be a guy, acting
and dressing and behaving like one, so much so that my friends, and
even just the people who hardly knew me, pretty much forgot I was a
girl until something reminded them. The girls at school figured I was a
total lesbian. A few of them who really were had even approached me a
couple times, really quietly because in a town like that the closets
are deep and dark! But everybody figured I was out, even if nobody
actually used the L word to my face.

The guys, the ones I didn't really know, and even a few I did know,
but didn't care for...like Tommy Wirtingale...would talk to me
sometimes, asking me out, sort of. But not like a real date, more like
if I wanted to come over and drink beer and watch the game on TV. But
they just wanted to have sex and I heard that some guys made a bet
about who would fuck me first. I told my brothers and later they
pounded on a guy named Carl Papersmith because he was saying he was
gonna do me at a party.

"I'm gonna fuck that lesbo! Where is she? Where's Annie?" He
was wasted and probably didn't know what he was saying, but that
didn't matter to Steve, Greg and Henry. They tried to shove his head
up a cow's ass. They were pretty drunk too.

I felt bad about that, actually, because Carl really did like me a lot.
At least I believe he did. He used to write me these poems, really bad
ones, but they were so cute. And he'd crush a wildflower and put it
in with the unsigned note, folding it up and dropping it through the
slot in my school locker. He never realized that I knew it was him, I
think. He wrote one like this:

My heart is on fire
Like the sun you inspire
And my heart is a song
Until you are gone
And I feel like snowing
And the north wind is blowing
Me away til the end
When I see you again
And then...
My heart is on fire.

My brothers shouldn't have beat him up. I would have fucked him,
maybe, if he'd given me a poem personlly and asked. Or at least
jerked him off, for sure.

Anyway, I'm just trying to explain that I was sort of like that girl
in 'Boys Don't Cry' except I wasn't hiding it, you know? And I
wasn't a lesbian; I just wished I had a dick. If I had one, yeah, I
would have asked a girl out and done everything I could to get in her
panties. But being that I didn't, that I was a girl on the inside as
well as the outside, I wanted a man, really. I just wanted a dick
too...Argggh! Being with a guy and both our dicks touching when we
kissed and stuff...See what I mean. Even now, comfortable as I am with
myself, I have a hard time explaining it.

Let's talk about football, while I'm still remembering being 14
again. Everything weird happened when I was 14; I guess that's just
puberty...

You know, I've never really discussed this stuff before. Never
written it down like this. I think it helps a little.

So anyway...Given my status as 'just one of the guys', it didn't
seem too awfully strange to people when I tried out for the school
football team. The state had told all the schools that if they used
government money, then they had to make all team sports available to
girls. That meant either an all girl's team, or if there wasn't
one, like football, then girls could try out if they wanted. I don't
think there were a whole lot of girls who wanted to play football
though. I was the only one I ever knew of for sure, but someone said
there were some girls in Seattle who played.

Matt and Lance and my brother Greg helped me get ready. I was going to
be wearing the same pads my brothers had worn. We actually had like 3
or 4 complete sets around the house, but Mark, my 4th oldest brother
was on the junior varsity team. And Henry was on the senior varsity
team, so I had the leftovers.

"What the heck is this?" I was holding up a molded piece of
plastic.

"A nut cup." Lance laughed at me. He was already wearing his pads,
so was Matt. We were all three going to tryouts together.

I was standing there in the room I shared with Greg and Henry, wearing
just a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and knee-high athletic socks.

"It goes in this..." Greg was digging through the old cardboard box
that had all the pads and stuff in it. He pulled out a weird looking
bit of stretchable fabric that looked like a pretzel, sort of.
"It's a supporter." He showed me how there was a pocket and the
nut cup went in there.

"How'd you guys keep this a secret from me?" I looked at Greg and
he shrugged.

"Didn't know you cared." He said.

"What am I gonna do with it?" I wondered.

"Everybody's got to wear one." Lance was grinning. "Coach
said."

"Really?" I thought he was teasing me. "But I don't have
nuts."

"So?" Matt shook his head. "He's gonna check, believe me. You
better wear it Ann."

"Yeah." Greg agreed. "Coach is a dick. If you don't wear it he
hits you in the balls."

"I don't have balls though." I repeated.

"Up to you." Greg shrugged, but it sounded like I'd better.

"All right." I sighed and pulled off my boxers so I just stood
there naked from the waist down, except my socks. I took the cup and
the supporter thing. "How's this go? Like this?"

We finally managed it and I didn't really think much about showing my
butt to those guys, except Lance sort of looked at me weird. Licking
his lips and not saying much. He was really close to my pussy, mostly,
helping to get that cup just right. I pulled the supporter up and that
cup thing was totally uncomfortable.

"Like this?"

"Here...your jock is crooked." Matt fooled around with the stretchy
straps, kind of getting them the right way around my butt. His
fingertips sort of rubbed me a little and I turned around looking at
him. "There." He looked away, blushing a little.

"It feels weird." I got on my bed, standing up so I could see
myself in the mirror above the dresser we shared. I had smooth pale
thighs, narrow hips too, but they were getting rounder, and a thin
waist. But seeing that white jock strap with that plastic bulge looked
really weird, but...sexy weird, you know? Like I might almost have
something in there to protect. Well, I guess getting hit in my pussy
would hurt a lot too, so this was probably a good idea anyway.

"Yeah." Greg laughed at me. "You'll get used to it."

I jumped off the bed and pulled off my t-shirt. "Grab my bra there
Lance." I pointed at the closest thing I had to a sports bra, it was
hanging off the doorknob.

I hardly ever wore a bra. In fact, I think it's safe to say that I
could count all the times I'd wore a bra before that day on one hand.
The one I was putting on was really more like a training bra. I'd
gotten it like a year before from my aunt, who'd decided a girl
should have a bra no matter what. My daddy didn't care though; he
wasn't making me wear it if I didn't want to. My boobs were
growing, but they weren't anything but little A-cups then. I mostly
hoped they wouldn't grow at all. They were embarrassing.

"You're boobs are growin!" Matt stared at me. He'd seen my
boobs a hundred times, but it had been a few months. I guess he noticed
it more than I did, since I saw them every day.

"Nah." I laughed at him. "You just need glasses!"

"Yeah, they're getting big, Ann." Lance nodded.

I took my bra from him. "No they're not; they're the same as they
were before." But when I tried to put my bra on it was totally
uncomfortable. The good thing about my training bra was that it was
adjustable and I let it out all the way, but even that was
uncomfortable. My boobs were pulled tight so they sort of puffed out a
little and looked stupid.

"Did the coach say everybody's gotta wear a bra too?" I looked at
the guys and we all giggled.

I took it off and just put the pads on over my shoulders. "How do I
look?" I was wearing big old football pads with little 32A tits and a
girl body, and a big plastic nut cup and a jock strap between my
thighs. The socks definitely made the outfit, I thought, and I laughed
out loud at myself.

"You sure you wanna go without a bra?" Greg asked me.

"Yeah it's cool. It ain't touch football anyway." I grinned at
my friends. "I wanna pound somebody!"

Matt and Lance glanced at each other and laughed, but they didn't
look too sure about it.

I put on one of my brother's old jerseys and then the pants, old
stained white ones with pads that fit into weird pocket-like enclosures
on my hips and thighs. I put on his old cleats, stuffing some toilet
paper in the toes and lacing them up really tight because they were
sort of big for me. But the helmet fit okay, it was a small one and
Greg said when I made the team they'd give me a new one anyway.

We were running late, so Lance, Matt, and I ran downstairs and were
getting on our bikes to ride to school when my Daddy stopped us. He was
pulling up to the driveway in the tow truck.

"Football tryouts?" He looked at me and I nodded. "Don't let
nobody grab your ass!" He frowned. "You guys make sure huh?" He
stared at Lance and Matt. "Anybody tries to grab her ass you mess him
up, got it?"

"Yes sir!" They both answered. My Daddy had said that to them a
hundred times probably.

"Have fun. Be home straight after, girl. We'll save you some
dinner."

"Okay Daddy!" I nodded. He really is a pretty good dad, I love him.
We took off on our bikes, riding fast down the county road because we
were really running late now.

The first thing we had to do at football tryouts was run. I don't
know why. But I didn't ask either, I just did it. Five laps around
the football field and it was harder than I thought it would be,
running with the helmet on felt hot and we had to keep our teeth guard
plastic things in our mouths all the time too. And that nut cup was
seriously annoying! It was rubbing me all wrong, really chafing my
skin. I had to reach down just to move it around to different spots.

But I was glad I had it! After we were done running we all lined up.
There were about 20 of us, all 13-15 years old, standing on one of the
white lines they painted on the grass. Coach came along, looking at us
while we were huffing and puffing and he was talking about how football
was only fun sometimes, the rest of the time it was work. Hard work. If
we didn't want to work we should go home and join the Chinese
checkers club or something. And then, as he walked and talked, he'd
hit people right on their nut cups! A good sharp rap with his knuckles
so he could hear that loud plastic sound.

RAP...RAP...RAP... "OWWW!" ...

"Where's your cup?" Coach growled at a boy who hadn't worn one,
but he was busy nursing his nuts. "Go sit down over there...Anybody
that don't wear a cup every day is gonna have a short and miserable
football career!"

RAP...RAP...RAP... "OWWW!"

"GODAMMIT!" Coach yelled. "Next one don't wear his cup is gonna
be drinking Gatorade from his anus!"

I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded sort of bad.

RAP...RAP...RAP...RAP...He walked right on by me, giving me a rap and
nodding his head. I don't really think he knew I was a girl at that
point, truthfully. I was pretty happy I'd worn that cup though.

Later on though, Coach did find out which one I was. He was holding a
clipboard with the names of all the kids who'd signed up.
"Russet!" He yelled, "Ann Russet, where you at?"

"Right here Coach!" I held up my arm. I could hear some of the
other guys snickering a little, talking amongst themselves.

"Shut-up!" Coach growled at them. "Russet, you sure you wanna
play football?"

"Yes sir!" I said. "I love football, Coach!"

"You don't wanna be a cheerleader?" He looked at me through my
helmet.

"No sir!" I shook my head.

"You gonna cry on my football field, Russet?"

"No sir!" I stood up a little straighter. "I ain't gonna
cry."

"Well, your brothers play some mean football, Russet. What do you
figure on doin?"

"I figured I'd be a running back, Coach." I was always the
running back when we played in the neighborhood. "And linebacker
too!"

"More like tight end!" Someone said and it was such a predictable
joke only a couple guys laughed at it, and of course somebody had to
say "Or wide receiver!"

Coach ignored them and so did I. "How much you weigh Russet?"

"Uh, about 85lbs Coach."

"Pretty scrawny for a running back, or a linebacker." He rubbed his
chin. "How about kicking? You ever do any of that ballet dancing
stuff?"

"No Coach, but...uh I kicked my brothers in the balls before." The
guys laughed at me and I sort of blushed. I didn't want to be a
kicker, they were fags!

"Oh yeah?" He grinned at me. "Which one?"

"All of em, probably." I shrugged, even though that's hard to do
in pads.

"Well, hell Russet, you just might be one of my linebackers then!"
He looked down the line "Hades!"

Brian Hades was the biggest 14 year old in existence. Everybody agreed
on that. He was about 6 feet tall and 170lbs and it wasn't fat. I
thought about him a lot at night, after that first practice. But right
now I was feeling nervous as he stepped out of the line about a dozen
guys down on my left.

"Yeah Coach?"

Coach stepped back and picked up a football, tossing it to him. "You
run over there, Hades." He pointed to my right. "Russet, get out
here." He pointed at a spot. "Now when I blow my whistle, you
tackle him. Got it?"

I nodded and my heart stopped.

I remember the whistle blowing and I remember deciding that if I was
gonna die, at least everybody would know they weren't burying some
fag kicker. I ran at Brian as hard as I could and he didn't try to
dodge or anything. I launched myself and...

...I woke up lying on top of Brian, our helmets close together and he
was rubbing my left boob through my jersey. "...feels nice!" He was
grinning and then Coach yanked me up, clapping me on the helmet and it
made my headache even worse.

"Now that's a football player!" He pushed me back to the line.
"Goddamn! I guess you are a Russet!"

We had more tackling drills, sometimes I had the football, sometimes
one of the boys had it, but almost without fail I found them feeling my
boobs mostly, sometimes my ass, every chance they got. Even Lance and
Matt did it. It sort of burned me at first, but by the end of the two
hours I was used to it. It wasn't worth fighting over.

I made the team at least. Well, everyone did, since there were only 20
of us. We'd all have to play at least two positions and sometimes go
straight from offense to defense without a break, Coach said, so that
meant we had to work extra hard. I guess that's why we did 5 more
laps before he let us go home. I was exhausted, bruised, and a little
embarrassed.

"What were you guys doin?" I was riding my bike close to Matt, but
Lance wasn't too far. He could hear me.

"What?" Lance looked back over his shoulder.

"You know what. You were feeling my boobs! Both you guys!"

"No we weren't!" Matt protested. But he wouldn't look at me.

"You were too and when I tell my brothers they're gonna cream you
guys!" I felt like crying, even though I didn't know why exactly.

"Ann! C'mon! Its football...We gotta touch you!"

"All the guys were touchin you, jeepers. Chill out dude!"

"You guys wanna feel my tits?" I hadn't realized I was so mad,
but it was all coming out. "You want to? I'll let you do it right
here!" I stopped my bike and started pulling my jersey out of my
pants. It was only half tucked in anyway.

"Ann, stop it, man!" Lance and Matt stopped too. "We weren't
doing anything, okay? Maybe some of the other guys were, but not us."
Matt was talking and I just stared at him. "Look if you think we were
doing it, I'm sorry. You just gotta chill though..."

"We weren't feeling you up. We seen you a hundred times, you're
like our sister or something, okay? Not even that..."

"Like our brother." Matt nodded.

"I don't believe you guys, I seen you looking at me before. I
should have known better!" I wiped at my eyes and started pushing my
pedal again, but Lance grabbed my handle bars, stopping me.

"No, look we didn't do what you think, okay? What's the matter
with you?"

I left them there, staring after me, and that was the problem. I
didn't know what was wrong with me! It was football; they were
supposed to touch me, even my boobs and butt. Why did I get all
bothered about it? I worried that I'd been imagining things, making a
lot more out of nothing than it really was. I rode home trying to
remember every time somebody had tackled me, or I'd tackled them...

"Brian Hades." I muttered to myself. It was his fault, because I
knew he was feeling my boobs after I'd tackled him. I knew it for a
fact. I'd been a little dizzy, but I remember him saying how good
they felt and the way his handsome face was grinning at me behind his
face mask. After that I just assumed every guy out there was doing it.
That must be it. Matt and Lance hadn't copped any feels, they
wouldn't have done that, I was sure. We were best friends.

As soon as I got home I called Lance and told him I was sorry. He said
it was cool, he understood. I called Matt's house too, but he
wasn't home yet. I felt like a total butthead for acting the way I
had.

When I went to bed that night, I was thinking about Brian Hades though.
Sort of mad at him, but feeling...itchy too. Warm all over and I went
to sleep thinking about me lying on top of him, except we weren't
wearing any clothes.

"Hi guys!" I was already waiting on my bike when Lance and Matt
pedaled up to my house. "Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday. I
just..."

"It's cool, man." Lance smiled at me and Matt did too.

"Yeah, it's okay. Some of those guys are gonna be suckin later!"
Matt nodded his head. "We're gonna take care of it."

"Specially that Hades guy." Lance gave Matt a high five. "He
thinks he's tough, but nobody likes him anyway. He was totally
grabbing your tits too."

"Yeah." I nodded, smiling, but inside I was cringing. How could I
tell them it was okay? I didn't really mind Brian grabbing my boobs.
I was sort of hoping he'd do it again, despite my confused anger the
previous day.

"He's a fag." Matt jerked his head. "Let's go..."

RAP...RAP...RAP...OWWWW!!!

"Ya'll stupid? I told you boys yesterday, wear your cups!" Coach
was walking the line again after our 5 laps and 15 minutes of
stretching. "Listen up now! We got ourselves a locker room and I got
your locker assignments. I'm gonna call your name and you get a lock
and a key...you lose that key and I'm gonna charge you for a new
padlock! Ya'll keep that locker room clean and don't be running in
the showers! I catch any of you running in the showers and that means
you didn't run enough out here! Got it?"

Coach called names in alphabetical order and I was sort of wondering if
he'd call my name or not. He hadn't said anything about the
girl's locker room.

"Russet!" I walked up and he gave me my lock and my key and told me
"You're in 121 Russet, you got a jersey and helmet already waiting
for you. There's enough towels for everybody, but just one. Ain't
no cheerleaders on this team. I give you lucky 13, okay? That's your
number."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Um...coach. Is that in the, uh...girl's
locker room?"

"What did I just say?" He stared at me. "We got one football
team, Russet. We got one locker room! Cheerleaders are in the girl's
locker room." He rubbed his jaw. "You telling me I made a
mistake?"

"Uh, no sir!" I licked my lips. "One team, yes sir!" I walked
away feeling my heart beating a little faster.

"Well?" Lance was looking at me. He was in locker 112 and Matt was
in 107 so they were sort of close, I thought. I had no idea, since
I'd never been in the boy's locker room.

"Um...121." I held up my key. "I'm number thirteen." I
grinned at that, because it was a cool number.

"Hey!" Brian Hades grinned at me. "Right next to me! I'm in
120..."

I blushed a little and I was glad we were wearing helmets. Matt and
Lance gave him dirty looks, I thought.

"You can borrow my soap, if you want." Brian stepped closer,
putting his helmet next to mine. "Just don't drop it!"

I felt butterflies in my tummy and I pushed him away from me. "I
don't want anything of yours." I told him. I walked away and Matt
and Lance walked with me.

"Gonna be weird seeing you in the locker room." Matt said.

"Yeah, I think some of these guys are like retarded." Lance nodded.

"What does that mean?" I looked at him.

"Just, I heard a couple guys talking like how they wanted to know if
you had a boyfriend."

"What did you tell them?" I looked around, wondering who was
asking.

"I didn't say anything!" Lance laughed. He probably figured
anything he might have said would have just made me mad again.

"That Hades guy, he said you had a boyfriend." Matt looked over his
shoulder at Brian, who was standing around with a bunch of guys
laughing about something.

"He said what?" I asked. I'd never had a boyfriend in my life.
"He doesn't even know me."

"He said he was your boyfriend." Matt looked at me like he wanted
to laugh, but was waiting to see what I did first.

"Really?" My butterflies were back.

"He's total ass, dude." Lance slapped me on the helmet.
"We're gonna hit him when we do the yardlines."

"Yeah." Matt grinned.

Yardlines were when 3 guys lined up on the goal line and tried to stop
one person from scoring with the football.

"All right! Put your locks and keys on the bench!" Coach was
yelling. "Stop yer yabbering and huddle up!"

Later I found myself in the utterly unexpected environment of the
boy's locker room. I was next to Brian on one side and a guy named
Lenny Solomon on the other. He was the littlest guy on the team, even
smaller than me, and was going to be a tight end. We didn't figure
Coach had a lot of plays involving the tight end very much.

I found my new jersey, red and yellow and with big white numbers on the
back. "Lucky thirteen." I smiled and looked at my helmet; it was
red too with a yellow strip down the top and 13 on the back in small
numbers. I'd taken off my old one and tried it on, just like
everybody else was doing.

"Thirteen, huh?" Brian was looking at me. "I'm number seven."
Brian was going to be the quarterback mostly, and whatever Coach needed
on defense. He was the best player we had.

"Cool." I nodded and put my helmet back on the shelf. I looked
around; there were twenty guys in there, well...19 guys and me. I
wasn't usually very shy, but I sort of didn't want to undress with
Brian right there. The other guys I didn't really care about.

The good thing was, today we didn't have to undress, since we
didn't have any clothes to change into or anything, but tomorrow,
everybody would bring some. Me too. And we'd shower and change after
practice. It kind of gave me goose bumps, thinking about it.

"Hey, how come you're playing football?" Brian asked me.

"I like it." I shrugged. "How come you are?"

"Cause." He laughed. "I'm a boy. I'm sposed to. But you're
a girl."

"Yeah? So what?"

There were more guys now, a little closer, like they'd been expecting
this conversation.

"So. I heard you like girls, like you wanna be a guy or something."

"No, I don't." I looked around and felt my face turning red. "I
just like guy stuff, I don't know. Why do you care anyway?"

"So you ain't a queer?" Brian was looking down at me. He was at
least a foot taller than I was and weighed twice as much. He had buzz
cut blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He had nice lips, sort of thick
but...nice when he smiled, with really cute dimples. I swallowed and
looked away.

"I ain't queer."

"You ever kissed a boy?" He grinned at me and some of the other
guys were grinning too.

"Maybe." I said and then Lance and Matt were coming over.

"Hey, you ready to go, dude?" Matt looked at me while Lance stared
at Brian.

"Dude?" Brian laughed. "If that's a dude I'm turning
queer!"

"Big surprise." Matt muttered.

"What's your problem?" Lance asked Brian. Lance and Matt were
about the same size, maybe five and half feet tall 120 or 130 maybe,
not skinny, but sort of wiry strong, you know. It would take both of
them to take Brian on. And Hades had friends there too.

"No problem, man. I was just asking her why she wants to play
football." Brian closed his locker. "If you' guys are fuckin her
all you gotta do is say so."

"You better shut up!" Matt told him.

"Who's gonna make me?" Brian pushed him a little. "You?"

"Yeah!" Matt shoved back and then Lance tried to hit Brian in the
head and just hit his shoulder pad.

After that it was just everybody shoving and shouting and I was trying
to break it up when the Coach started yelling.

"What's going on? Hey! Hey!" He was grabbing people by the pads
and yanking them out of the way until he got to where Brian, Matt,
Lance, and I were more or less holding each other's jerseys and
pushing and pulling without much result.

"What kind of crap is this?" He looked at us. "Let go!
Everybody!" We all let go. "Now what the hell was this all
about?"

Matt looked down. Lance looked at me. I started to open my mouth to say
something, but Brian started talking first. "My fault, Coach. I was
talking about how I never saw a girl play football before."

"Well you seen one now and she kicked your ass out there!" Coach
looked around at all the guys. "She kicked all ya'll's asses. If
we had 10 more like her we'd be state champions. You might be
bigger..." He looked at Brian. "And you might be faster, and you
might even have dicks!"

There was some smirking but Coach looked around and it was quiet again.

"Having a dick never won a football game! Being bigger never won a
football game! You gotta have balls if you wanna be champions!" He
looked at me. "You gotta have balls to walk in a boy's locker room
with tits! Ya'll go ahead and piss her off; I'm staying out of it.
This is your locker room. But when Russet kicks your ass, don't come
running to me! Got it?"

Coach walked out and left us looking at each other. I was a little
embarrassed actually, by what he'd said. But not too much, maybe he
was right. Lance and Matt looked at Brian and then at me, asking if I
was ready to go home.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Hey, uh...I'm sorry." Brian gave me a half-smile. "Um,
Ann...right?"

"Yeah. It's okay." I smiled too, thinking I was liking him a lot
and not understanding why. "Brian."

"You believe that guy..." Lance and Matt talked all the way home,
but I wasn't paying too much attention. Mostly I was thinking about
Brian and how we'd be taking a shower together after practice
tomorrow. I'd taken off that stupid nut cup, there was no way I could
ride my bike with it on. But I left the jock strap on, I sort of liked
the way it felt when I was rubbing myself on the bicycle seat.

When I got home I went up to my room, looking for Greg to help me take
off my jersey. It was hard getting it over the pads, but he wasn't
around. Nobody was around except Steve, he was doing his homework, or
so he said. But I saw what he was really doing on the computer before
he realized I was there in our little den.

"Hey, what was that?" I asked, grinning at him.

Steve is kind of the strange one in our family, well...I guess we're
all a little strange, but he was stranger than most. He was going to
college then, studying mechanical drafting, but mostly he studied boobs
on the internet.

"Uh...nothing." He looked over his shoulder at me. "How's
football?"

"It's okay. Can you help me get my jersey off?" I looked at him
and he laughed at me. "What?"

"Come here. Do it like this." He reached under my jersey and
unhooked the pads, loosened up the laces too. "Now just take it all
off at once." I did it, lifting my pads with the jersey still over
them, right off my shoulders.

"Wow!" I giggled and put my pads down on the old couch we had in
there. "That was easy." I wondered why I hadn't thought of that
before.

"Yeah." Steve replied, but he was staring at me. I was naked from
the waist up.

"What?" I put my hands on my hips.

"Nothing." He rubbed his ear with his finger like he was cleaning
it. Steve was a good looking guy. I think all my brothers are good
looking, but I'm sort of partial. He has dark hair, like my Daddy,
and a nice body. He had a couple girlfriends, but nothing ever serious.

"I'm gonna um...go take a shower." I sort of tilted my head. I
don't know why we were looking at each other. But he just kept
staring at me and I kept looking back.

"Everything okay with the football, huh?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I just said so, why?"

"Matt called last night, asking for you. I told him you were sleeping
and..."

"Why'd you tell him that?"

"Because you were!" Steve laughed at me. "Anyway, he said you
were pissed cause some guys were feeling you up."

"Yeah, I don't know." I shook my head. "It's no big deal."
I smiled at him, wondering if he was going to offer to beat someone up
for me. Steve was pretty much my self-appointed champion and had been
since I could remember.

"Well, just don't be pissed, okay?" He said and that surprised
me.

"I'm not. Come on, Steve..." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean it, Ann. Guys are gonna do that, they don't know you're
a..." He frowned.

"A what?"

"A...I don't know what...I just mean they're gonna think you want
it, you know? Unless you do something about it."

"I'm gonna want it?" I snorted. "I don't want anything,
Steve."

"Right, but, you know...you're hot." He gestured a little
helplessly. "Even with the buzz head cut, you're prime, you know?
I'd do you."

"You'd do me?" I giggled and gave him a look, like 'What the
hell are you talking about?'

"In a heartbeat." He laughed. "Seriously. Sister or not."

"Uh..." I didn't know what to think about that.

"Don't you ever think about it?"

"About what?" I was suddenly aware of my nakedness, probably for
the first time ever around him.

"About me and you."

"No." I told him truthfully. "You're my brother, Steve."

"Yeah, so?"

"Yeah...so...brother...sister...incest..." I was rolling my hand,
urging him to follow the logic. "Sort of pisses God off maybe?"

"Aw, come on, Ann. You mean pisses dad off?"

"Same thing, God...Dad...You just need a girlfriend, Steve. Not some
tits on the computer. That'll make you crazy, man!"

"Yeah. I don't know..." He smiled a little. "You're right,
I'm sorry...I just. I love you, ya know? I keep thinking...uh..."
he stopped and I urged him to finish.

"Thinking what?"

"I just wish I could find a girlfriend cool like you, that's all.
Every girl I go out with I...they're just totally boring."

"So you want to date a 14 year old grease monkey?" I laughed at him
and rubbed my head. My hair was only like 3 inches long at the most.
"Some girl who looks like this?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah, why not? Maybe some 20 year old grease monkey." Steve turned
to the computer. "Here..."

He clicked on something with the mouse and a picture popped up of some
girl with really short hair like mine. She was sort of muscular too,
wearing just red thong bikini bottoms. She was attractive, sort of
older looking, like 30 maybe, with bleached hair. I could see the dark
roots, but she was cute anyway.

"Who's that?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I just like the way she looks.
She's like an amateur body builder, fixes motorcycles and stuff.
She's like you."

I laughed a little self-consciously. "Like me? You think I look like
that?"

"No!" Steve laughed. "Bonehead. I just think someday, I don't
know. You should work out a little; I think it would be cool."

"Be a muscle girl?" I struck a little pose, gritting my teeth like
an idiot.

"Yeah, I don't know. You got muscles anyway, more than any other
girl around here. I'm just saying you got the body for it and the
mind, the attitude, you know?"

"No, I don't know." I sighed and sat down finally, taking off my
cleats. "She's probably a lesbian."

"Nah. I don't think so, it says on her web site she's married
with 2 kids already."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Steve changed the picture to a different one, the woman
naked on a motorcycle, her tanned body streaked with grease or oil or
something. "You uh, you're not...are you?"

"Not what?" I looked at him.

"A lesbian." He shrugged. "Like mom."

"Like mom?" I laughed. "I don't know. I don't think so." I
didn't really think I was anything yet...but I wanted to be, one way
or the other, just so I'd stop feeling so weird all the time. Like I
couldn't decide.

"Okay." He looked at the kitchen. "Are you hungry? Dad took
everybody to Beaverton. They're gonna be there all night probably."

"I'm hungry. I need a shower though." I nodded. "Did you tell
him to get me some popcorn?" Walmart sells these huge bags of popcorn
for a dollar. Mostly that's all I ever wanted.

"He knows, sis." Steve laughed. "And I think Greg's gonna look
for that Eminem CD too."

"The D-12 one?" I rolled my eyes. "Even if they got it, there
won't be any swear words."

"So? You'll still be cool."

"No I won't." I frowned. Can't be cool with a censored CD
everybody knows that! But dad wouldn't buy anything with the explicit
lyrics label on it anyway, so I was screwed until I could get a ride
over to Wilverness. There was a real music store there, mostly cause
one of the guys from Nirvana was from there. Or Pearl Jam maybe. One of
those old bands. Maybe Kyle could run me over, I thought, since I'd
finally fixed his car.

"Go get cleaned up, I'll fix you some eggs. Want some ham? or
bacon?"

"Bacon. Lots of it!" I giggled. I love bacon.

I stood in the bathroom naked, flexing my muscles for the mirror. I was
14 years old and I didn't have any muscles. I don't know what Steve
was talking about. I made a face at the mirror and stepped into the
shower and it was about two minutes later, my eyes shut tight against
the shampoo, that I heard a knock and the door opened.

"Hey your food's ready, sis."

"That was fast." I said above the sound of the shower.

"Yeah. The bacon was already cooked." There was a pause...then more
pause. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and opened the clear plastic
shower curtain enough to peek out. It didn't really hide anything but
the details anyway.

"You want to come in?" Steve was standing there and when I said
that he smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Too bad!" I
stuck out my tongue and giggled, closing the curtain again.

"Tease!" My brother laughed and left the bathroom.

Later I asked him. "When do you figure they'll be back?" We were
half laying on the couch, half on the floor, being total lazy slobs. It
was fun. I was reading a Spiderman comic book and Steve was watching an
old Star Trek show, the one with Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk.

"Bout 10 maybe, or later." Steve rubbed my head and I leaned up
against him. "Who'd win, Captain Kirk or the Headless Horseman?"

"Headless Horseman."

"Mmmm...yeah." Steve nodded. We'd been playing that game ever
since we saw Sleepy Hollow. Our expert opinion was the Headless
Horseman could take anyone.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"If um, if we did it...could you like pretend I was a guy?"

"What?" He tilted his chin down to his chest and looked at me.

"Like two guys. Could we do it like that?"

He laughed at me and I felt my body burning a little. It was bad enough
that I'd been almost shaking just trying to get the words out.

"What are you talking about? Sex?"

"Yeah." I looked up at him, into his eyes. He sort of looks like
Tom Cruise, but taller and better looking. "I just, I don't
know...I've been trying to figure it out."

"Figure what out?" He was shaking his head. "I'm totally lost,
sis."

"I just, I don't ever want to be a girl." I sighed.

"But you are a girl." He pulled me up a little so I was sort of
lying on his chest and he hugged me. "It's just gonna get
harder." He whispered.

Steve knew me better than anybody else and I thought it would be easier
trying to talk to him. But really, I guess I could have talked to any
of my brothers like this, even Scott, except he's sort of weird. The
rest of us are strange, but Scott, the second oldest and about 5 years
older than me, is just weird.

"Yeah. But...I thought if I could be a guy and still...like guys, you
know, then I'd be more...happy. Or something." I started biting my
thumb nail, and I hate that.

"So you want to be like a gay guy?" Steve laughed again.
"You're queer."

"Yeah!" I looked up and smiled. "Yeah! Exactly! I'm a fag!"
It all made sense, sort of. I really was born in the wrong body, if you
like that sort of analogy. But not because I wanted to have sex with
other women, but because I was a male homosexual inside! "I'm a fag
in the body of a girl!"

Steve hugged me and took a deep breath. "Did you start smoking dope
or something?"

"No!" I giggled. "I'm serious!"

"I never even heard of that on Springer, Ann." Steve shifted a
little and spread his legs so my right hip nestled in between his
thighs comfortably.

"Me neither." But I didn't watch a lot of TV either. "You think
there's a word for what I am?"

"You mean besides crazy?" He grinned at me.

"Yeah. Besides that." I grinned back.

"I dunno." Steve shrugged. "So you wanna do it like two guys?"
He asked me softly.

"Uh..." I looked at him and whispered. "Do you?"

"I don't know how two guys do it, but if you want to pretend
you're a guy..." He smiled. "I'll try it."

"Okay."

We sort of laid there for a few minutes. I didn't know what to do and
I don't think Steve did either. He was 21 already, but this was
probably way different than anything else he'd ever done.

"You want to get dressed?" He suggested. I was just wearing a big
t-shirt and some shorts. "You sort of look like a girl." He
chuckled.

"Okay, um...What should I wear?" I was really warm all over now,
but in a good way, and my heart was beating faster.

My nipples itched too and I really hoped this wasn't a bad thing we
were doing. I loved Steve so much, I knew he'd never hurt me. He
wouldn't laugh at me or tell anyone about me. I didn't think
anything we did would change how we felt, or how we treated each other.
He was my brother and always would be.

Steve licked his lips. "I never thought about a guy before, I don't
know." He pursed his lips. "Just put on some underwear and uh, some
pants I guess. Get that old Texaco shirt of yours."

"The oily one?" I laughed. It was green and clean, but stained with
like 20 years of grease. There was an old red Texaco star and
'Russet' embroidered above the pocket. I think it had been my
Dad's when he'd worked at the gas station when he was like 17 or
something. All my brothers had worn it, now it was mine. But it was
definitely a man's shirt.

"Yeah," my brother nodded. "And then come into the den."

"The den?" I looked at him funny but I agreed. "Okay."

"And uh, just pretend I'm somebody else. I don't know, one of
your friends or something."

"Brian." I said softly. "I'll just uh, call you Brian, okay?"

"Okay." Steve nodded. "We'll just be a couple guys then."

"Yeah." I giggled at the thought. But I liked it too.

I put on some old Joe Boxer shorts and a pair of faded jeans, leaving
my shirt loose. I didn't bother with a bra, I never did anyway, and I
thought maybe Steve would just ignore my boobs. I hoped so anyway. This
was more of an experiment for me than anything else. I put on some
socks and my old work boots, heavy black steel toed things. I grabbed
my Mariner's ball cap and put it on my head and looked in the mirror.
I looked like a 14 year old boy, I thought. Not really like a girl,
except my face was too pretty. My body looked like a boy's. The jeans
were loose enough so it didn't look like I had any hips at all and
not much butt either. The shirt was loose too, hard to tell I had even
the smallish mounds that I did.

I took a deep breath, wondering what this would be like. How did two
guys do it anyway? I guessed they just jerked each other off and that
was probably what I wanted to do more than anything else. I just wanted
to touch a boy's penis. That had to be totally awesome, I figured.
Maybe they sucked each other? I guess if girls did it, boys did it too.
I wasn't sure if I'd like that, but maybe it would be okay just for
a little bit. Truth was, I was getting nervous about it, almost
changing my mind. Probably if it had been anyone else but Steve waiting
for me, I would have just stayed right there in my room.

"Hey!" I walked into the den and saw Ste...er...Brian, my old
friend, sitting at the computer. It felt kind of dumb play acting like
that, but I'd try it. "Whatcha doin, Brian?"

"Hey man!" He turned his head and smiled when he saw me, nodding
his head. "Just get off work?"

"Uh yeah." I stifled a giggle. "I had to braze the muffler on
Steve's car. He can't afford a new one since he spent all his money
on a new fishing pole."

"Yeah..." Steve laughed and nodded his head like 'I'll get you
later!' He'd bought a fly fishing rig for like 200 bucks almost 2
months before and hadn't caught a thing with it yet. "Well, some
people like fishin, I guess."

I'd walked over and I looked over his shoulder and pretty much
thought my heart had stopped in my chest. There was a movie playing in
a little window, two guys having sex. One of them was sitting on the
other one's chest, his big cock lying on the guy's face while he
licked it. I stared mesmerized by it, wondering where it had come from.
And then I saw something else, my brother's cock, long and thick and
hard in his hand. He was jerking off slowly and I stared at it.

"What do ya think, buddy?" Steve grinned at me. "Ever seen a cock
this big before?"

"N-No." I whispered, and I hadn't.

The only hard dicks I'd ever seen were on my four friends the time
we'd seen that Penthouse. My brother's cock looked twice as big as
any of theirs, at least as far as I could remember. My heart was
pounding and I felt my insides tightening, all the way from my tummy
down between my legs. I licked my lips, wondering if I was just
dreaming this, it all seemed so...unreal.

"How about you?" Steve looked pointedly down at my crotch. "You
hard, man?"

"I uh, yeah..." I didn't have anything to get hard, of course,
but I could sense the fire in my sex and if I'd had a cock it would
have been screaming hard right then. My voice was breathless and I had
to fight to get the words out. "Can...I...I want to touch it."

"Wait, just...sit here for a minute." He pulled me into his lap, so
I could spread my legs outside of his. Steve's penis stood up between
my thighs, as if it were really mine and I stared at it while he played
with the computer, bringing up a series of movies, all different, all
featuring men with men. Sucking, and kissing, and even fucking.

"Go for it dude, feel my big dick now..." Steve had an arm around
my waist, squeezing me and I felt dizzy as he brought up pictures for
me to see. Interesting as they were though, pictures were nothing
compared to the real thing.

I took it slowly, reaching down tentatively with my small hand to feel
my first cock. It seemed huge to me and I touched it only lightly at
first.

"Wrap your fingers around it." Steve urged me and I did, grabbing
him gently near the base of his cock.

My fingers wouldn't even fit all the way around it! It felt so hot,
so alive and even heavy; that surprised me too, although I don't know
why. I could see the veins and the odd shape along the bottom, running
the length of him from his exposed balls to the circumcised head.

"Like this?" I asked him, looking up and my brother nodded.
"It's hot!" I smiled and almost giggled.

"Yeah it's hot. You're hot for it too, aren't you?" He
breathed and I glanced at the computer screen, watching as a slideshow
came up, showing a young man in an older man's lap, like we were, and
playing with their cocks together.

"I wish I had a cock..." I sighed and I was rubbing him up and
down, jerking my brother off, pretending I was that boy on the computer
screen.

"I know." Steve kissed my neck. "I'll get you one."

"What? How..." I started turning around but Steve stopped me.

"Don't worry about it. Keep jerking me off...Look at the screen and
cum for me, baby."

I did, licking my lips and watching as Steve brought up a movie of
another boy in his late teens maybe and an older man, this time they
were fucking. The boy on his back with legs up, over the man's
shoulders. I squirmed, feeling the heat rushing uncontrollably through
me. I squeezed Steve's big cock, using both hands to jerk him off.
Clear fluid, his precum, was leaking out of the swollen smooth head,
running down over my hands, around my fingers.

"Do you..." I swallowed nervously, knowing what I really wanted,
but unsure of Steve's reaction.

"What?" Steve was breathing on my neck, kissing at my ear.

"Do you want to do...that?" I felt the wetness in my sex, like a
damp fire smoldering. "Do you want to fuck me, Steve? Back...there, I
mean."

"I'd love to fuck you in the ass." He turned my face and kissed
my mouth finally, pushing his tongue between my lips and I moaned
helplessly as I held onto his cock, letting him kiss me.

It seemed a long time before we had enough of that, and when we stopped
kissing I was hot and barely able to breathe. My lips felt bruised and
my tongue sore, it was incredible and so good. I wanted more! I kissed
his lips, his cheeks, his chin.

"Fuck me...like that boy, Steve. I want it...please!" I found his
mouth again and this time I pushed into his mouth with my tongue,
exploring him frantically, my body twisted, my hands pulling and
pushing on his cock awkwardly, but I didn't care.

"No...no..." he was breathing hard too. "It'll hurt. Just wait
we'll do it soon, I promise. Tonight we'll just...do this, okay?"
He was looking in my eyes, afraid of making me feel rejected I think,
but I didn't feel that at all. I knew he was protecting me and I
loved him all the more for it. I wanted him even more for it.

"Do you really promise?" I licked my lips and nodded, as if urging
him to agree with me.

"Yes, I swear...we'll do everything. We just don't have to
hurry." He kissed me gently. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I can suck it." I whispered. Feeling my heart jump slightly as I
said the words. "If you want."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, but he was smiling.

"Yeah...." I nodded. And then we were kissing again. That was the
best experience of my life. Kissing my brother, learning how to move my
tongue around with his, teasing and tickling each other. Feeling his
warm breath filling my lungs. I let go of his cock, turning more so I
could wrap my arms around him. We kissed gently sometimes, and other
times it was different, more hungry and urgent.

"Suck me now." Steve finally urged, pushing me down gently, guiding
me to the floor. "Give me head you little boy." He grinned and I
smiled up at him, unsure of exactly what I was doing, but wanting it
more than anything else in the world.

"Do I really look like a guy?" I asked, taking his penis once more
in my girlish hands.

"Yeah, you do." He smiled. "Here..." My brother leaned forward
slightly and turned my hat around, so the bill was behind me. "Suck
it for me, man, just give it a little kiss..." Steve had a hand on my
shoulder and he was pulling me closer. Not hard or anything, just a
gentle steady pressure that I gave myself to completely.

"I've never done it." I giggled and felt a little frightened and
my voice was so soft I thought maybe he hadn't heard me.

"Shhh..." Steve smiled and gave me a little nod. "It's okay,
you can do it, sis." Then he slipped back into his role for me,
speaking a little stronger. "Come on, you fag...suck my dick."

I smiled, licking my top lip and glancing up at my brother. I was so
close now I could smell him, the new and exciting smell of his body, of
his sweat and maleness. I'd never noticed that smell before, not like
this. It was overpowering and I savored it a moment before sticking out
my tongue and taking a first gentle lick of Steve's cock. It tasted
like nothing really, and I grew bolder, licking around the head slowly,
even kissing it.

"Oh, that's good..." Steve sank back a little more, leaning back
as I grew more comfortable with what I was doing. "Take it in your
mouth, Arnie."

"Arnie?" I looked up, licking my lips and giggling.

Steve shrugged. "You want me to call you Arnold, dude?"

"No!" I shook my head and used both hands on his cock, sliding them
up and down slowly. "Arnie is...okay."

"Good." Steve lifted his butt off the chair. "Pull my pants
down."

I pulled his trousers down his legs and kissed the tops of his thighs,
feeling my brother's warmth against my face. I couldn't believe how
big his cock was though, it wasn't as long as that 10 inch wrench, I
didn't think, but it was close. For some reason it hadn't seem so
large those few brief times when I'd caught him jerking off in the
shower. But maybe that was just because my hands were so small.

I kissed the tip, noticing a little drop of clear liquid leaking from
the tip. It had no real taste, and I opened my mouth wide, slowly
lowering myself over Steve's cock until the smooth swollen head was
filling me completely. I seriously doubted I'd ever get much more
than that in my mouth. I wriggled my tongue around it as best I could,
more under it than anything else, really and I paused, taking a breath
through my nose.

"Take more of it, man...suck my cock!" Steve was whispering to me
and his hand was on my head, rubbing the ball cap I wore slightly back
and forth over my short hair.

I pushed my mouth down further, closing my eyes and feeling that huge
cock going slowly deeper, rubbing against the roof of my mouth, across
my tongue, and then touching the back of my mouth and bringing a soft
little gagging sensation that surprised me. I jerked my head back a
little, coughing slightly and then, even without Steve's urging I
tried it again. This time was better; I was expecting it, that strange
wonderful feeling of having a man's penis in my little mouth.

My heart was pounding wildly and I could feel my sex, my virgin pussy,
humid and warm and almost vibrating between my legs. God, how I wished
I'd had my own penis then. I wanted to know how this felt for Steve,
what having my warm wet mouth wrapped around his cock felt like. I
thought of the pictures we'd looked at, the movies, men making love
together. Sucking each other, stroking themselves while they took
another man's penis in their mouths. My mind wandered constantly,
jumping from one scene to another, while some other part of me focused
on the prick in my hands, between my lips.

"Go up and down...use your mouth...yeah, like that...slow...slow...no
hurry..." Steve was giving me soft little directions, guiding me with
his voice and his hands until I figured it out.

I bobbed my head up and down, careful not to let the head hit the back
of my mouth too hard, or I'd gag on it. But a little bit was okay, I
even liked the sensation. I used my hands to stroke the rest of his
cock, moving my hands up and down in time with my lips. It worked good
and Steve seemed to like it a lot. My mouth was full of spit and precum
and sometimes I'd slow down and pause to swallow it, but mostly it
just ran out of my mouth, down the shaft and over my fingers, making
his hard hot cock nice and slippery.

"Oh...shit...I'm going to cum, man..." Steve was lifting his hips
a little, moving with me and his hands were on my head and neck,
rubbing down across my shoulders a little. "I'm going to cum....you
better stop or..."

But I wanted it. I wanted to feel his cock cumming in my hands. And in
my mouth too. This was the first real sexual experience of my life, I
was doing it! I was making a man cum and I wanted to feel it and smell
it and taste it. I remember wondering if it was really so gross,
letting a boy come in your mouth, or if it was something good and
wonderful. I wanted to know.

"Ann...Ann...oh..." Steve was warning me, but he wasn't going to
pull me away either. "Oh yeah...Ugh huh..."

I felt his cock seeming to swell even more, just pausing for a second
and then suddenly it was pulsing rapidly in my hand, his cock just
vibrating with it, and my mouth was suddenly full of hot and weird
stuff. It was cum, my brother's sperm, shooting out of his balls into
my mouth. I swallowed at first and then choked on it, coughing and
gagging slightly. But I didn't let him go, I kept my mouth on him,
letting most of his cum run from my mouth, down my hands. But as I
stopped coughing I could swallow more, and it wasn't bad like I'd
been afraid of. It was strange and gooey sort of, like hot Jell-O,
runny and salty. I didn't know what it was like, but I wasn't
afraid of it.

My lips were covered with Steve's cum and I had quite a lot still in
my mouth, on my tongue and coating my cheeks. I lifted myself up,
sliding back onto his lap, straddling his thighs and leaning forward to
kiss him. It didn't occur to me that he might not like it. I was just
14 years old and the little unwritten rules of sexual etiquette were
beyond me completely. But Steve didn't mind when I put my mouth on
his. He wrapped his arms around me and pushed his tongue in my mouth,
licking and tasting himself on me. I could feel his cock pressing
against me, still semi-hard, pressing against my jeans as I spread my
legs, pulling the old worn material tight.

We kissed like that for I don't know how long. Enough so that by the
time we'd finished any remains of Steve's orgasm were long gone
from my mouth. But I could still taste him, the strange and wonderful
flavor of a man. I savored it and just lay my head on his chest while
my brother held me.

"That was so good, Ann." He whispered.

I just nodded, taking a little breath and smiling against him.
"Tomorrow you'll fuck me, right?" I asked.

"Maybe." He laughed. "We'll see."

My life was definitely changing.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

End of Chapter One

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