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From: "H. Jekyll" <h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} "Show"  by  deirdre (MF, FF, silly)  --   rp  by  H. Jekyll  and  Please Cain
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Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2006 06:10:04 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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Show 
by deirdre

Date: 24 Feb 1996 22:10:13 GMT

(mf, ff, silly)

*****

NOTE: We are not the authors of this story. "deirdre" was the enigmatic
queen of Usenet sex stories in the mid-1990s. She posted 156 stories in
just over two years, using an anonymous remailer and apparently *never*
corresponding with anyone (though she did give permission to repost her
stories to non-commercial sites). She was last heard from in late April
1996. We will finish reposting all 156 stories this month (hopefully)

While you're following the a.s.s.m. 10th Anniversary "deirdre-fest,"
enjoy! There's still time to contribute.

To contact us: h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com, or PleaseCain@aol.com. 

*****

This is one of my silly stories and is also the first story I've posted
that wasn't in the 'first person' point of view. It started as a
thought about how to show people experiencing sex on broadcast TV. --
deirdre

Show 
by deirdre, 11/20/94

"And Now... It's time for Spin to Win..."

"Hello, and welcome to Spin to Win, the game where your fate hangs on
the spin of the wheel. Let's start by welcoming our first guest,
Jeannie Hampton... So Jeannie, where are you from."

"Providence, Rhode Island."

"And do you have family there watching?"

"Well, not my husband, of course, but my sister and her husband said
they wouldn't miss it."

"Well, *Hello* to your sister and her husband. Let's see that outfit
you are wearing. Oh, it's a sweater and I like that plaid skirt. Now I
know you know how the game is played: it's time to get in the booth.
And for you folks at home, I'll explain the game while Jeannie gets
herself situated. Jeannie, like all our contestants, starts with $500
and spins the wheel. The wheel has ten spots: nine that double her
money and one marked 'Bankrupt'. If she doubles her money on any spin,
then she can choose to spin again. But if she ever hits 'Bankrupt',
then the game ends and she walks away with *no* money at all. Also, as
you see the booth is constructed to strategically hide Jeannie's body
from the waist down and it has a fitting that sits snugly around her
waist completing the concealment. Now as you see, her back is to a
wall, behind which her husband is located. Now if she spins 'Bankrupt',
then her husband, who retains strategic access to his wife in a manner
not apparent to us, immediately *pushes it into the alternate
location*, as it were. Jeannie's had time in her dressing room to
prepare herself as much as possible for that potentiality, though as
with all our contestants, both she and her husband took an oath that if
this happens, it will be her very first time. And to make that
eventuality perhaps more palatable for Jeannie, attached to her is a
device that vibrates slightly when he is slightly inside and ranges up
to full vibration when he is as far as he can go. So Jeannie, are you
ready?"

"Yes."

"Nervous?"

"Of course!"

"OK, let's start with your first spin... OK, you have a $1,000 now. Do
you want to spin again?"

"Yes."

"Ah, up to $2,000. Again?"

"Yes."

"Oh, that was close! $4,000 now. Again? For $4,000 more?... I need your
answer. Remember there are nine chances that you will get $4,000 more
and just one chance that you will go 'Bankrupt'."

"OK, one more time."

"Oh my, I'm so sorry... You're not saying anything, Jeannie. Look
everyone: Jeannie is just standing there with her mouth open, looking
nowhere in particular. Well, we'll be back with our next contestant
after this commercial break...

"And now here is our next contestant, Sheila Smith. So Sheila, where
are you from?"

"Dallas, Texas."

"And you know how to play our game?"

"I sure do!"

"Ah, Sheila is ready! Well, go ahead and get in the booth. Now Sheila,
do you think you would stand there with your mouth open like Jeannie
did? Or do you think you'd be saying something?"

"Oh, I'd be saying something all right! But that's not going to
happen!"

"Oh ho! Do you have a strategy? How many times to you plan on spinning
the wheel?"

"Five times."

"That's a pretty sound strategy: the odds are slightly with you to walk
away with $16,000. OK, if you're all situated, let's start with your
first spin... So far so good: you have $1,000. Still want to spin
again?"

"Yes."

"$2,000. Again?"

"Absolutely."

"$4,000. Still want to risk it again?"

"Yes."

"Now you can stop and walk away wit $8,000! Are you still sure you want
to risk one more spin?"

"Uh, yes."

"$16,000! You've achieved your goal! But before you go, I'm obligated
to point out that the rules allow you to continue. On your next try,
you'd have nine chances out of ten of increasing that to $32,000!"

"Oh no! I'm definitely done."

"The audience seems to want you to go on. As I said, the odds are
*very* good that you would win one more time."

"Uh, OK, I guess I'll do just one more."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sheila..."

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod..."

"Sheila seems distracted so we'll take our break now. Stay tuned--later
we'll be having our big showdown."

"Our next contestant is Kathy Green from San Diego, California. Do you
have family at home watching?"

"Yes, my Mom and my sister."

"Well, let's hope they see you display some luck. Let's see how you are
dressed--oh, that's a pretty blue dress. OK, up in the booth. How many
times do *you* plan on spinning it?"

"Three."

"Ah, Kathy's a conservative girl. Are you all set in there?"

"Yes."

"OK, then make your first spin...

"OK, you've got your $1,000 with no problems. Ready to spin again?"

"Yes."

"$2,000! Still want to spin that third spin?"

"Yes."

"$4,000, and you made it. Oops, you know what that buzzer means! I give
it one more spin... Oh, I'm sorry Kathy, looks like you were just
unlucky enough to be playing when the buzzer went off."

"Oooooooooo!"

"Looks like Kathy isn't ready to talk now, so we'll take our station
break... OK, welcome back to Spin to Win, the game show that gets to
the *bottom of things*. Now we're ready for our final showdown. As you
see, we have three contestants in booths and the rules are just a
little different! All three contestants start out with $5000 and they
take turns spinning until only one is left. And just to make it
interesting, after each spin one more doubling spot is replaced by a
'Bankruptcy' spot! Now, let's meet our contestants. Tracy Hartman, you
come from Denver, Colorado?"

"Yes, Pat."

"Got any plans for the money?"

"Oh, some travel with my husband."

"And next we have Lisa Tate from Portland, Oregon. What made *you*
decide to come on the show, Lisa?"

"We could use the money."

"And did your husband have any other reason?"

"Well, I suppose he'll console himself if I lose."

"Well perhaps he will. And last, we have Mary Forrest from San Jose,
California. And Mary has an interesting story to tell: your husband got
called away on an emergency, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"So what did you do?"

"I got my sister to take his place."

"Oh ho! Of course, we were able to outfit her in such manner that she
could carry out the prescribed duties. Is she your *older* sister? Or
your *younger*?"

"Well, I guess you could say she is my younger sister. Actually we're
twins."

"Now *that* is interesting. What did she have to say about all this?"

"Oh, she says this is something that I've been *needing*."

"Well now! OK, let's get started here. Tracy, you start... OK, Tracy,
you've got your $10,000! Now let's add a 'Bankrupt' space to the wheel
and it's your turn Lisa...

"Lisa survived her first spin too. Now Mary?... Everyone made it to
$10,000, so Tracy, you spin again, this time with 4 'Bankrupt' spaces!

"Oh, I'm so sorry Tracy. Tracy, you're not answering. Well, let's go on
to Lisa. Lisa, you have an even chance."

"Oh, Lisa didn't make it either, so Mary, that leaves just you! As you
know, the rules say you must spin one more time. Oh, look at Lisa: her
eyes have rolled up behind her eyelids. And Tracy is just standing
there with her eyes closed. So, you ready for your last spin, Mary?"

"Uh, yes."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mary--that's what often happens when we reach six
bankrupt spots on the wheel. Well folks, don't go away, we'll be right
back after this... Well, Vanna, that about wraps up another one. Our
audience at home missed Mary's scream during the commercial once things
started going for her. Well, everybody, remember that next week is our
'Revenge Match' where three of our year's charming losers are chosen at
random to come try again. However, this time while the ladies spin the
wheel, their husbands occupy the booths, each lady having chosen a
member of the fabulous Chippendale Dancers(tm) to Stand Behind Their
Man as it were. And then the following week, we'll have our annual
Celebrity Showdown, this time with Kathie Lee Gifford, Mary Hart, and
Daisy Fuentes. So Vanna, you always wanted to see what it's like to
stand in that booth?"

"Just the standing part, Pat."

"OK, I think you're in there correctly. Say bye to everybody."

"Bye Buh-oof..."

"Ah, we didn't tell Vanna that we'd snuck her husband onto the set this
evening..." 


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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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