Message-ID: <53583asstr$1145247005@assm.asstr.org>
From: "susan k" <suzie_xx@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: {ASSM} [Deirdre Fest] Deirdre A Newbies View  (essay) A newbie's view of deirdre - by Suzie
Lines: 434
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:10:05 -0400
Path: assm.asstr.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

<HTML removed pursuant to
http://assm.asstr.org/erotica/assm/faq.html#policy>

   <1st attachment, "Deirdre A Newbies View.txt" begin>

   (essay) A newbie's view of deirdre - by Suzie xx

   When I received the circular mail from ASSTR inviting contributions to a
deirdre Story Fest, I wondered why she had been singled out in this
fashion. One thing I was pretty sure of was that I had not read any of her
stories before.  To plug this obvious hole in my knowledge, I followed the
link to her stories in PleaseCain's web-site, and found there were
certainly a shed load of them, 156 it said.  All written, or at least
published, in a short span of time in the mid-1990's, before I even had
internet access.

   With all the fuss, I was sure they must be excellent stories, and loving
a good (and sexy) read, I set my goal to read as many as I could before
seeing how, or indeed, if I would contribute to the Fest.  After all, I was
only about 17 when Deirdre started her campaign, with my thoughts on
getting the grades for university and my uncertain sexuality.  I was sure
there are lots of authors around who knew and loved her; so what right has
a newbie like me to make comment on her?

   But then nobody really knew her, nobody could, as she didn't ever
correspond with anyone.  So all that anyone has done is read her stories.
And I could do that, albeit a decade later than everyone else!  That would
make me as expert as anyone else on the enigma called Deirdre, sorry make
that deirdre!  So began my quest to find out the secret of all this love
for her.  I would find it eventually but the path first led down into
disappointment and perplexity before finding the holy grail in an
unexpected place and time.

   The stories were arranged in alphabetical order, and therefore
presumably random in terms of chronological order.  Unlike my stories, they
all had simple one word titles.  This was a portent of what was to come! 
So, with expectations high, and a towel placed low, I started to read them
in that order.

   The first (called After) I thought was well written and was already
beginning to turn me on when...  it finished!  Damn, I thought, why didn't
she develop that spanking theme more!  The second story (Afternoon) again
started tantalisingly then stopped all too soon.

   Oh well, I thought, I would find the good ones soon.  The third
(Airport) was on my own preferred subject with young lesbian activity but
yet again I felt cheated by such a great story line not being teased out to
a satisfactory conclusion.

   By now I was getting the message that this was her style, and as I read
on ....  and on ....  I was feeling really (sexually and mentally) cheated,
and the towel stayed dry.  I tried to imagine a guy reading them.  There
would certainly be enough to make him hard but nowhere near enough to have
him reaching for tissues.  And whatever sex we are we all read the erotic
stories to help get our jollies don't we!

   I sat back and thought about this.  I am missing something.  It has to
be more than the incredible quantity of stories; I mean, quantity alone is
not enough is it?  After all if someone offered me a sack-load of
pencil-thick dildos in exchange for old faithful, would I take them?  No
way!

   Or, for the guys, if a Sheik offered you his entire harem of dusky
maidens in exchange for your beloved wife you wouldn't take them would you!
You would?  Well OK that's maybe not such a good simile.  But you get my
point!

   So what was it about our deirdre that could inspire a story fest a whole
decade after she last posted a story?  Was it the enigma?  The fact that
she posted via some anonymous method so no-one could contact her and she
never entered into any correspondence?  Or the fact that after a few short
years of bombarding the site with chapter one's she disappeared, never to
be heard from again?  Or was there something about the stories that I had
missed?  It had to be in the stories as all the rest just built up a little
mystery about her.

   I read on.  And on.  Yes the plot lines were good, some very original,
and almost all with so much sexual potential.  And all ending before the
potential could be fulfilled!  If she did something similar in reality to a
boyfriend she would be called a prick-tease (or a pussytease I guess, if
she pointed the other way!).  It reminded me of a certain boy in my past
who lasted about 90 frenetic seconds before filling his condom.  I was left
feeling it was great while it lasted but, by god was I frustrated!

   As a reader I was left high and dry (well not that dry actually), and as
a writer I wished I could take each story and do it my way!  Damn that
plagiarism thing!

   But hey, this is a celebration of the writer.  We come to praise deirdre
not bury her.  (Sorry Bill.) Let me praise the one good thing I got out of
it.  Her imagination for dreaming up good story lines was enviable; and so
many of them; and across all genres and fetishes; and they were beautifully
written.  All that is fact.

   In fact I was tempted to publish every abandoned story I had ever
started, every chapter one that had never been followed up with a chapter
two, and flood the site with these and maybe in 10 years maybe there would
be a Suzie Fest!  But no, don't worry, that won't happen!  LOL

   Having got this far with these thoughts, I wondered if I was going to be
the only author not raving about her.  Was I being unfair?  I know that I
also post my stories to another site (which I won't advertise here) at
which readers have the opportunity of voting for each story they read and
authors soon learn if their outpourings are as good as we like to think.  I
got to wondering how deirdre's stories would have been rated if she had
posted there too.

   Out of interest I switched to the site on the off-chance that her
stories were actually there too.  To my surprise some were.  Not all 156
but there were a dozen.  Good stories would expect a rating of around nine
out of ten, give or take.  But I have to say that deirdre's stories only
seemed to average seven-point-something, so I felt slightly relieved that
it's not just me and a little justified in my slight disappointment.

   But deirdre knew her stories were not perfect.  In the preamble to
"Couch" she admits, `I now know I've written the worst ever erotic story.'
Her words, her emphasis, after reading reviews of one of her previous
stories.  So perhaps we shouldn't view her as some deity amongst erotic
writers.

   My own feeling at this point was that much of the hype about deirdre
must come from the mystique she shrouded herself in.  The anonymity and her
disappearance.  All we know about her is what she chose to reveal in her
preambles.  She apparently was married with kids and her husband knew
nothing of her alter ego.  She was 40ish then so will be 50ish now.

   Did she do the writing while hubby was at work and the kids at school?
Probably.  She had a vivid imagination and wrote many lesbian stories as
well as straight; kinky stuff as well as mundane and you just don't know
where she will take us next.  Maybe her sexual desires were not satisfied
in the marriage and she found an outlet for her adventurous sexuality in
the stories.  Who knows?

   And why did she stop?  Maybe she just got bored; maybe she got a job and
the writing opportunities ceased; maybe her husband found out.  Again, who
knows?

   The other thing she told us was that she `lurked' in the chat rooms
rather than participated and this may be a clue to her character.  I like
to think that she is lurking still, reading her Fest with a Mona Lisa smile
wondering what all the fuss is about, or probably more likely what a
younger writer with a mere 10 stories under her belt is doing daring to
write about her!  A damn Brit at that!

   And I was going to leave it right there and not submit this.  After all
I didn't want to admit that my search for deirdre, or at least the reasons
for her obvious appeal, had failed miserably.  But find it I did and not in
her stories, not on the internet at all in fact!

   It was in my bed all the time and was staring me in the face.  Well not
my face so much...

   You see the first time I read her stories I got to thinking about one of
them while I was in bed that night and I fantasised about how things would
have progressed in the story had she continued it.  That led to some
amazing orgasms.  Next time I read some of her stories the same thing
happened, and again, and again all that week

   Someone once told me the greatest sexual organ is the brain and that's
deirdre's secret.  She makes you use your brain.  Other writers (me
included) hold your hand all the way through the story until the final
orgasms shake the characters' bodies.  And maybe you got your jollies
reading it, or maybe not.  But deirdre only went far enough to stimulate
your imagination and if you wanted it to go further you had to use your
mind to work it through.

   Which is what I had been doing all week in bed, finishing her stories in
my head!  And very satisfying it was too!!  Gotcha hun!

   So, you are probably wondering, what I will be doing as a contribution
to the Fest, if anything.  I thought of taking one of her stories and
giving it the Suzie treatment.  But, no, I thought that may be seen as
being big-headed, so I am going to write a short deirdretype story of my
own and become a prick-tease too!  And see if I can fire your imagination
deirdre fashion.

   Suzie XX (suzie_xx@hotmail.co.uk) <1st attachment end>

   <2nd attachment, "Bonus.txt" begin>

   Well, deirdre often put in a preamble to her stories, so I will too!  I
have tried to write this in the style of deirdre using a common theme of
hers, a slightly submissive woman having her sexuality awakened.  I have
not read every one of the 156 stories but I hope the setting and story line
is my own.  Inevitably the story ended up a mixture of deirdre and Suzie.

   The story also hopefully does what I believe was deirdre's intention in
her stories, and that was to present the readers with a scenario which does
enough to stimulate a fantasy but doesn't attempt to direct that fantasy to
a conclusion (or climax if you like!).  Rather it gives a sexually
stimulating start and it's up to the reader to develop it in whatever way
turns them on.

   The average length of her stories was 1900 words and I aimed at a story
that length.  In this, at least, I almost succeeded!  (Excluding this
preamble).  Not that length was important to deirdre.  I have just read
one, Cousin, that must only have been about 1300 words! 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

   [deirdre-style story] "Bonus" by Suzie XX

   "So are you up for the bonus party?" asked Denise, my mentor at my new
job.

   "The what?" I asked back, not knowing what she was talking about.  I had
only been there two weeks and although I was 18, I was not exactly a
worldly girl.

   "The bonus party!  Has no-one mentioned it?  It's just an excuse for a
girls' night out really.  The telesales-person of the month gets a Ł200
bonus with their salary, and she buys some drinks.  Don't worry, we don't
go mad."

   "OK, I'll be up for that, particularly as I won't be winning the bonus
anytime soon!  So where do you all go?  Down the local bar or something?"

   "No, we usually go to Rosemary's place out in the sticks.  It's isolated
so we can be as noisy as we want.  And she's got a pool too!  Rose is
divorced so it's strictly no men allowed.  We stay overnight so it doesn't
matter if we get drunk, and then we all go home in the morning.  It's fun,
you'll love it!"

   So the following Friday we all piled in two cars for the drive out to
Rose's.  Although just ten miles outside the sprawling metropolis of
London, her home was built in a copse of trees and was as private as you
can get.  Her ex-husband was obviously not short of money.  Denise was
right; at the back of the house was a large, covered swimming pool, with no
possibility of being overlooked.

   All 8 women in the telesales section where I worked were there for the
night.  Not surprisingly the `league-table' of target performances had me
in the relegation zone, the winner being a dark haired woman called Edna.
Earlier, she had asked me what I drink.  My parents had strong views on
alcohol and from habit I suggested Coke, but apparently it was against the
rules to have soft drinks so I went for Rum and Cokes.

   It had been a hot, sweaty day and the initial excited babble in the
lounge was soon quelled by Rose's suggestion to have a dip in the pool.  I
had packed a one piece swimsuit rather than a bikini as no men were going
to be present.  My small case with the swimsuit, nightie, washing kit and a
change of panties I had left in one of the bedrooms.

   "I'll just pop in and get changed," I told Mary, who I had been talking
to.  At 22 she was as near to my age as they got, so we had bonded a little
since I had started.

   "Oh no, that's not necessary," she said, taking my arm and moving
towards the rear of the house with the others, "We don't bother with
swimwear here, who's going to see?"

   "What, you mean going in bare?  I'd really rather wear my costume if you
don't mind." I tried again to turn back to the bedroom but she held on
tight to my arm.

   "Come on, don't be a prude, you'd be the only one not skinny dipping. 
They'll think you odd!"

   "Think *ME* odd??

   Out on the patio there were lots of sun-beds and plastic chairs and the
blue-tinged glass of the roof let the evening sun stream in, the rays
glinting on the water of the pool.  Some of the women were already
discarding their clothes onto some of the chairs, and I glimpsed one white
bottom as someone dived straight in the pool.

   "See what I mean?" said Mary, "get your kit off, we're all girls
together here and you've got nothing we haven't."

   The amount of naked flesh now making its way into the pool was making me
nervous.  I was an only child and my parents very definitely *were* prudes.
Sex was never ever discussed and sometimes I wondered how they ever managed
to make me.  Nudity was something I had never been exposed to, even at
school where I hated getting changed for games.

   So now, faced with the sight of all the wobbling flesh, it was
disconcerting to say the least.  Even Mary was stripping off right in front
of me.  I faced a bit of internal wrangling, not wanting to appear
different, yet scared shitless of taking all my clothes off.  I did manage
to peel off my t-shirt slowly, and fiddled with the zipper of my jeans, but
Mary, now naked, decided to help.

   She unclipped my bra when I turned away from her, and whipped it right
off me.  I instinctively covered my boobs with my hands and she tugged my
jeans down.

   "There!  Almost done," she exclaimed with triumph.  "That wasn't so
difficult was it?"

   I stepped out my jeans and thought about going in the pool with my
panties on to preserve some dignity.  But Mary wasn't having that and
quickly tugged the last remaining garment down my legs.  Now as naked as
everyone else I gave up trying to be modest and allowed her to hold my hand
and walk down the steps into the pool.  I was slightly more comfortable
when I got under the water.

   The women were frolicking about noisily, jumping, swimming and ducking
each other amid shrieks of laughter, and slowly I lost my inhibitions and
joined in.  They started playing a game of `It' and Denise came and tweaked
one of my nipples which had elongated embarrassingly in the cold water. 
"You're `It'," she announced.

   I swam around and the others splashed away from me but I managed to
touch a woman named Sandy on the shoulder proclaiming her `It' now.

   "No," she laughed, "it has to be nipples or clit!" My god, I would have
to touch one of them in an intimate area, and I almost choked.  I did
manage to corner Beverley, one of the older women who was catching her
breath, and I hesitatingly pinched a nipple.  She went towards Mary who
launched herself away, but Beverley caught both her feet and dragged her
back.  I mentally squirmed as she reached between Mary's thighs and pinched
the front of her pussy.  How embarrassing was that?

   I used my youth to avoid being caught for a while but one woman surfaced
right in front of me showering me in spray and put her fingers between my
legs squeezing my clit hood.  I recoiled with the sensation that tingled
through me and my face must have flushed bright red!  I caught Edna almost
immediately as she laughed at my plight, tweaking her nipple which grew out
of one of her oversized areolas.

   A few minutes later I was `It' for the last time as Beverley got her
revenge by putting her arms round me from the back and pinching both
nipples.  Some of the women started to get out after about 15 minutes of
this to dry off, and the game ended with us remaining four youngest girls
all panting from the exertions.  Rosemary was already dressed in a white
towelling robe when I got out and she handed me a white towel and a similar
robe, as she did in turn with us all.

   I looked for the chair with my clothes on but someone had collected up
all the clothes and taken them indoors.  When I asked, Mary said they
always just wore the robes for the rest of the evening.  It saved getting
dressed and there was nobody to see.

   Having dried myself a little I went into the pool showers with the
others.  I couldn't believe how relaxed I was now with the nakedness, as we
all shared the two showers to wash the chlorine off.  Someone pulled me in
the shower stream and I felt other naked bodies rubbing against me.  Some
of the women were soaping each others bodies, rubbing breasts and backs and
even under their bottoms, yet it didn't seem too unnatural any more.

   Drying off again we dumped the damp towels into a wire bin and put on
the robes.  I followed the women back to the lounge area and Rose started
getting us some drinks.  We sat around talking for a while and it was all
very relaxed.  The robes had no belts or buttons and some of them slipped
open occasionally and nobody cared if tits and genitals were openly on
display.  Well, I cared!  It was all making me extremely horny for some
reason, and I felt embarrassed.  I kept my wet vulva securely hidden with
my legs crossed.

   But it was a very pleasant evening.  We joked, played a quiz game in
four teams which Avril and I somehow won, consumed lots of alcohol and
chatted.

   As the evening wore on and the alcohol flowed, some of them were getting
a bit intimate with each other, sitting on one another's laps and kissing.
Hands were inside robes touching each other, and I started getting a bit
nervous again.  Not only nervous, but extremely aroused.  No-one else
seemed to mind this going on and the chatter continued.

   When I came back from a visit to the bathroom, to dry off as well as to
pee, Mary pulled me onto her lap and asked if I would mind if she kissed
me.

   "No, I-I'm not into that," I stuttered.

   "Into what?  We're only showing how we like each other.  It doesn't mean
you're a dyke or anything you silly girl.  You want to be friends don't
you? Don't you like me?"

   "Yes, of course I like you.  I like you all.  It's been a lovely
evening. Unlike all of you, I've never kissed a girl though.  It seems
wrong.  Sorry, I'll go to bed I think.  Do you know where I'm sleeping?"

   "With me, I think, they put the two youngest in together."

   "I've got to share a room?"

   "It's a big house, but not that big.  Some of us would have to share, so
we all decided to share then there's no fighting.  There's less rooms for
Rose to clean as well.  So which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep?"

   "Side of the...?  Do you mean we're sharing a bed too?"

   "Oh, you really are a shy girl aren't you?  Just sit here with me a
while and see if we can't become good friends.  You want us to be friends
don't you?"

   "Yes of course."

   "So just a little friendly kiss?"

   A look round the room showed that I was indeed in a minority of one with
kissing, and in some cases a lot more than kissing, going on.  Some had
shed the white gowns and were openly fondling and caressing their intimate
areas.  Others had their hands inside each others gowns while kissing
passionately.  I turned back to Mary and she said quietly but firmly, "Kiss
me now!"

   I wanted to leave but I couldn't even get off her lap.  She looked at me
steadily and I seemed to have no willpower in the matter.  I leaned forward
and kissed her lightly just to keep her quiet.  She held the back of my
head and locked tongues with me, seemingly for minutes.  I struggled to
untangle but each time she applied a little more pressure to the back of my
head.  After a while I stopped struggling.  When she let my head go, I
looked around but nobody was paying us any attention.  She put her fingers
on my chin and turned me back to face her.

   Her robe was opened and she took both my hands and guided them to her
breasts.  She smiled as if to say, "I've got you," but she didn't need to
voice the words.  We both knew it, and I leaned in to kiss her again while
I squeezed her hardening nipples.  "You're `It' I guess," I said softly. 
She smiled.

   She opened my robe and slipped it off my shoulders and I moved one hand
at a time from her tits to let the robe fall away.  She laid me back on the
sofa and she lay across me, both now naked.  I was no longer caring about
the other women looking at us, although I suspected they weren't.  I
surprised myself at the total lack of resistance, I couldn't resist for
some reason.  I wanted it.  I wanted her to make love to me.  Her hand was
running up the inside of my thigh and I parted my legs a little in
surrender.

   I knew then that I would enjoy these `bonus parties' in the future.

   Suzie XX (suzie_xx@hotmail.co.uk) <2nd attachment end>

   ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice----- Notice: This post has been
modified from its original format.  The post was sent as an email
attachment and has been converted by ASSTR ASSM moderation software.  -----
ASSM Moderation System Notice----- 

------- ASSM Moderation System Notice--------
This post has been reformatted by the ASSM
Moderation Team due to inadequate formatting.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <story-submit@asstr.org>|
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-admin@asstr.org> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr.org> |
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+