Message-ID: <53507asstr$1144818602@assm.asstr.org>
From: Shalon Wood <dstar@pele.cx>
Subject: {ASSM} Pandora's Box 8 (Mf Mff MMf rom ws exhib bdsm)
Lines: 549
Date: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 01:10:02 -0400
Path: assm.asstr.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Standard disclaimers apply; this story may or may not contain, in any
given part, graphic depictions of lesbianism, homosexuality, group sex,
bdsm, underage (teen) sex, magic, occultism, violence, and biting 
sarcasm.  If you're underage, or if for any other reason it's illegal 
for you to read this, or you're disturbed by the content, please don't 
read it.

Archived at http://pandora.pele.cx, and we've got a web-forum at
http://playground.pele.cx/forums as well, for discussion of both
Pandora and our other stories. 

Comments *greatly* appreciated.

Enjoy,

Velvet
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Pandora sat in his lap, silent and thoughtful, not moving.

Gabriel held her, not speaking, wordlessly giving her time to reflect.

"I... I didn't expect that." When he finally spoke, his voice was rough,
and he had to stop to clear his throat. "I don't know what to say."

"Me either. I mean... of course you didn't expect it. How could you? Are...
are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.

Gabriel looked thoughtful. "I... think so. Probably. I hadn't expected it,
but... it was... it was good to see her again, even if it was just for a
little while. I knew she'd like you."

She shifted her weight, soft butt coming in contact with cold stone floor,
and flushed. "I'm sorry... oh god your poor knees must be on fire... "

Gabriel shrugged. "It's okay." He hesitated for a moment. "Are... are you
okay?"

"I'm... yeah, I'm okay. I... don't know what to say. Or do. Or even feel,
really. But I'm okay.  Come on... let's get out of the floor."

"Okay. Why don't we go lay down?"

She nodded silently.

Gabriel stood up, lifting her with him, and carried her back up to the
bedroom. He set her gently on the bed, then laid down beside her.

Pandora pressed up against him, still somber and quiet.

Gabriel stroked her hair. "I never could predict what Lissa was going to
do, but still... I never would have expected that."

"You should have gone back there before."

"I couldn't." He sighed. "Not until you gave me the courage."

"I... I don't know what to do now. What do you want me to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Um... just what I said.  I... how does this change things?"

Gabriel didn't answer immediately. Finally, he said, "I don't think it
does, at least as far as I'm concerned."

"Shouldn't it?" she asked softly.

"I... I don't know. She's right. We couldn't really be together right now,
no matter what, and... and I don't want to give you up."

Pandora shuddered, closing her eyes in relief. "I... good. I don't want you
to."

"Does it bother you?"

"Some," she admitted. "It was... a shock. I don't know, really, how to deal
with it, you know? And it scares me... it was so unexpected, and I don't
know what it might do to you, how it might affect us. And I feel like slime
for worrying about myself at all in a situation like this, but I can't stop
doing so."

Gabriel sighed, but didn't speak, just held and caressed her for several
minutes. Finally he said, "In a way, I guess I have to admit she'd have
always been a part of our relationship. Maybe that's not fair to you,
but... at least this way, we _know_ how she feels."

"I knew she would be. I... I'd kinda, well, got used to that idea. Accepted
it. Because, after all... she couldn't really threaten me. Not when she was
gone. I knew I'd never really be able to live up to her memory, because
people always remember what's gone as closer to perfect than real-life can
match, but I was okay with that... but I... I never saw a picture. I didn't
realize that she looked like that.  And seeing her after you told me all
the things you did together... " She looked away unhappily, and whispered,
"I didn't realize what I had to compete with, I really didn't. If I had...
I don't think I ever would have had the nerve to even try."

"Honey... " He stared at her for a moment. "You didn't know?"

She blinked away tears and shook her head. "I didn't know. I h--had no
_clue_. I thought... thought you were shy. I didn't realize that... that
you just... that no one could live up to that... "

He shook his head. "No, I mean that... look, for all the ways that Lissa
and I were compatible, she was _not_ my ideal body type. Yeah, she was
beautiful, but... well, look. I really, really, _really_ like tits, okay?"

"But... she was so... so _elegant_. And tall. And thin... "

Gabriel nodded. "Too thin, really. That wasn't just my opinion, either.
Would you believe she actually _tried_ to gain weight? But no matter what
she did, a few weeks later she'd be skinny as a rail again."

She looked skeptical. "Honey... every woman in America would like to have
that problem. I mean... my mother would have _adored_ her. She... she was a
perfect model. No 'specialty' lines for her; the french designers would
fight over her."

Gabriel shrugged. "Maybe so, but my ideal woman... well, you're pretty much
it. There are things I always wanted to try that were just not possible
with Lissa."

"O-oh." She smiled up at him tentatively. "R-really?" she asked shyly.

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah." He chuckled. "Want to know something that's either
funny or sad, or maybe both?"

Pandora rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Mmm?"

"Well, when we got to talking about it, Lissa and I realized that we have
more or less the same taste in women."

"That's... kind of... weird."

"Tell me about it. We actually went down to the mall and went girl-watching
together once." He chuckled. "It was a surreal experience."

"Not as surreal as the past 24 hours," she said fervently.

"Mmm. Okay, you have a point there. A good one." He chuckled again. "Did
you realize what she was really asking, when she asked if you minded her
watching?"

Pandora looked away, uncomfortable. "I don't know."

"She was really asking if you minded her enjoying watching."

"It'd seem... selfish to object. But the thought is also... kind of sad,
too."

He sighed. "I know. Unless... I don't know. Can ghosts masturbate?"

"Um... you're the... uh... cat-elf-vampire-alien thing. You'd be more
likely to know than me."

Gabriel laughed. "Hey, I've only been one for... um... what, ten hours or
so? How would I know?"

Pandora cuddled closer to him, smiling. "More than I would, anyway.  You
know what really is the weirdest?"

"What?"

"I... after everything that's happened, I ought to be freaking out. Or
something. The weirdest thing is that I'm just... laying here, calmly,
after hearing and seeing everything that I have, instead of... of running
like hell, or screaming, or going catatonic."

"If you ought to be freaking out, what should I be doing? I mean, at least
you're still human."

She shrugged. "Well, you're _better_ than human, so I don't see a problem."

"Still... it's a big change." He stroked her hair. "I'm glad you were here.
It helped."

"I am too. Glad I mean." She frowned. "I... have to wonder though... how
much of the calm I feel is real? And how much of it is you... what you are
now... influencing me?"

Gabriel pursed his lips. "I don't know. I hadn't even thought about that."

"I have," she said softly. "A lot, actually. I mean... things happened so
fast, and it's hard to really _explain_ how... how strongly I feel now
except for... well... magic... so I had to wonder if... " She shrugged.
"But it doesn't matter. I want it, anyway. Magic or not, real is real."

Gabriel nodded. "I know. Even if this is the result of magic, I don't want
to give it up."

"It does scare me... I mean... I don't know what I might do anymore, not
really. I already know that I can't leave you... I'm afraid that I couldn't
no matter what. No matter what you did, or wanted me to do, or how you
treated me... I'd still want you. That's... really scary," she admitted.

"Yeah. It would be." He kissed her forehead. "Is there anything I can do to
make it not scary?"

She was silent for a long moment before finally shaking her head. "No, I
don't think so.  Because... well... this is new to you, too. You can't
promise me you won't change... because you don't know. You can't promise
you won't have to hurt me... that some need that you don't know about won't
make it happen whether you want to or not.  You... really can't make any
promises to me right now, at all, because you... we don't know what you
are, and what needs come along with being that.  And it's the uncertainty
which terrifies me. In a way, I guess she's right... better to know for
sure you'll hurt me, so that I can at least be prepared for it, maybe try
to find some way to make it not hurt."

Gabriel looked away, face tight. "Know that I'll hurt you?"

Pandora shrugged uncomfortably.

"With... other women, you mean?"

Again the tight shrug.

"I would never deliberately hurt you like that."

"I know. But she was married to you for a long time. Your best friend. And
she seems to think that you couldn't stop yourself."

Gabriel sighed. "Yeah. She does. And she's right. The kind of girl who
would be most likely to get to me would be the quiet, shy types. I don't
want to think I'd ever do anything like that to you, though. I'd like to
think I have more self-control that that. More self-respect than to cheat
on you."

"A quiet, shy girl wouldn't throw herself willingly at someone who was
already attached, unless she was also the type who just didn't care about
hurting someone. If you'd fall for that... " She shook her head. "Yeah,
that'd hurt.  And if you gave in to someone who _wouldn't_ normally be
willing to hurt someone to have you, then... well, that's slimy. Not just
to me. To her, too."  She looked away. "I don't want to talk about this.
For all I know, you _have_ to have hordes of women, and that's why you have
the aphrodisiac thing going on... .except... it's not with me, anymore... "
she said, her eyes getting wide. "I mean... it can be, but... I can turn it
off when I'm hurt, or angry or scared... which would mean... what? That it
thinks you don't need me anymore? Since... you've already got me and I
can't get away? It's a... a lure, a trap... not just a side-effect?"

Gabriel looked at where his aura met hers. "I... don't know. Except... when
it was happening, my aura was... trying to touch you, reaching out for you.
But now it's, like... braided with yours, or something. Maybe it's the...
the constant contact? Maybe it's something you get used to?"

She shrugged again. "Maybe. At least I can think now, even if I don't have
any more options than before. And... I can _let_ it affect me, I think."

"Options?"

"Like I said... I need you. It's... the idea of leaving is... well, nothing
else could possibly hurt that bad."

Gabriel didn't say anything for a while. "I... what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I don't want to change it, even if it scares me. Even if I were
_certain_ it would hurt me, I wouldn't want to change it. It'd still be
worth it."

Gabriel said, hesitantly, "I don't want to hurt you."

"But you will, is that what you're saying? Please... I'd rather just
_know_, okay?"

"I don't know. I want to think I wouldn't... but Lissa knew me... knows me
better than I do. If she says I'll give in... I'd like to think she's
wrong. But if she's not... how do I keep from hurting you?"

"If you have to do it, you have to do it. I'll get used to it. Just
don't... I... " She rolled away from him, hiding her face in the pillow.
"I... I could be second to _her_. I was willing to give you up for her, to
step back, aside, whatever... but if you ever put someone _else_ ahead of
me, expect me to... to take second place so some new little toy you didn't
even _know_, I... I... you'll break me. I'll still be here, but I won't be
me, not anymore. I'll be something I hate, instead."

Gabriel reached out, tugging on her shoulder. "Pandora... love... no.
Never. I don't ever want to put someone ahead of you. If you don't want me
to do it, I'll do my best not to, and if I... if I slip, I'll beg you to
forgive me."

Pandora was tense against him, shaking. "I just don't understand. I k...
know you too!" she wailed. "After last night, I _do_.  And I c--can't see
you ever being willing to hurt me j--just for sex.  I just don't understand
it! Unless for some reason you really, really _need_ it, and if that's it,
then I don't even have any right to _be_ hurt."

Gabriel didn't answer her immediately. Finally, he said, "It wouldn't be
the sex that would do it. I know what she was talking about. It would be...
the idea of helping them, showing them what it can be like, the way it can
be _good_, showing them how to enjoy it... that's what would get me. Not
the sex itself. I can't see anyone else being able to -- to match you."

"I can almost understand that. But... if they were asking, and they knew,
and you gave in, you'd be giving in to someone who had no respect for me,
who didn't care if I got hurt.	Or, if they didn't know... .well, if they
wouldn't care, it's the same situation. And if they would... then you're
lying to them, too, and letting them do something they'd consider wrong and
hurting me and her if she ever found out."

"The way you were feeling last night... would you have cared? Even though
normally you would have?"

"No, I wouldn't have. But I would have _afterwards_, once I was away from
you. I would have felt like a whore if I'd given in, begged you to fuck me,
then found out you were with someone who was hurt by it. So that wouldn't
matter, unless you plan on binding every girl to you this way."

"No!" He sighed. "But what if I'm... in a weakened state somehow. I've had
a little too much to drink, and I'm not thinking, or something like that...
I'd feel horrible afterwards, and not just because of how you felt, but,
well, because I'd have done something _wrong_. I don't want that to happen.
But if Lissa is so sure it would... " He sighed again, frustrated. "I wish
I knew _why_ she was so sure... does she know something we don't? Or what?"

Pandora shook her head again, still not looking at him. "I don't know. I
mean... you never did with her, did you?"

"No. I wasn't even tempted. But I didn't have girls throwing themselves at
me, either."

"I just don't see why it would _matter_.  I mean, that's like saying the
only reason you didn't cheat on her is that you didn't have the
opportunity. And they might not have had the chance to throw themselves at
you, but if you'd wanted to, you could have. You're... unreal now. But you
were drop-dead gorgeous to _start_ with."

Gabriel shook his head. "I meant that I wasn't put in a position where I
could _be_ tempted." He sighs. "I just wish I didn't have to worry about
making a bad decision and hurting you."

"I... just don't understand. Even if the most gorgeous guys in the world
were begging me to be with them, I couldn't _be_ tempted if it would hurt
you. The idea of hurting you is just... the ultimate turnoff."	She looked
up at him unhappily. "But maybe that's just... this thing. Maybe it works
different for me."

"I don't know. Just... just tell me how you want me to handle it."

Pandora rolled away from him, hiding from him. "I don't know. What do you
want me to say? It's not something that ever occurred to me."  Her
shoulders shook. "It'd be easier if you'd just taken what I offered and
left it at that. I wouldn't have expected anything, then. It wouldn't be
any of my business."

Gabriel said, sighing. "Would you really rather I hadn't fallen in love
with you?"

Her shoulders shook even harder. "No. I don't know. Maybe, if I'd known it
wouldn't mean the same thing to you that it did me."

Gabriel's voice fell to a whisper. "Who said it doesn't mean the same
thing?"

"You did. She did. When you told me you didn't want other guys touching me,
I didn't say, 'I'm sorry, I don't think I can help myself.' I do get
propositioned, too, you know. I might not be a... a whatever you are... but
guys seem to like me just fine, anyway." Her voice cracked, and she buried
her fists in the pillow. "I'm... I'm a fucking _model_! It's not like no
one would ever ask!"

Gabriel stiffened. "I know they will." He sighed. "And I don't like it. I
can't help that. But I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't have _any_
desire to... to touch another woman, and if you'd asked me an hour ago I'd
have said I never would. But... I learned not to ignore Lissa a long time
ago. She was a lot smarter than I was, at least about some things. If... if
I _did_, I'd feel... I'd feel horrible about it. Probably the same way
you'd feel if you cheated on me. I don't _want_ to cheat on you!" He
sighed, relaxing. "I want to think I never will. I want to think that I've
got _some_ semblance of honor. That Lissa's wrong. Because it _does_ mean
the same thing to me that it does you, I think. I never want to hurt you.
Ever. I want... I want to be someone you're proud to love."

She curled up tightly, wrapping her arms around her knees. "It's not even
so much that you would want to. I mean... I wouldn't _care_ if you looked,
and thought about it, or had fantasies, or got turned on. You're hu--um, a
healthy adult.	It's natural, and it'd be stupid to get upset because
pretty girls looked at you and you looked back. It's not the temptation.
It's the idea that there's something that could make you willing to give in
to it. That there's something... someone... that you'd see as worth hurting
me for. If... if there is... then wh--what else might it be worth to you?
If she can tempt you into hurting me... if she's that attractive, that
wonderful... then why keep me, if someone else is already more important to
you?"

Gabriel reached out for her, hesitantly. "There wouldn't be. There wouldn't
be someone worth hurting you for. What there might be is a _mistake_. A
screwup, on my part. It _wouldn't_ be worth it."

Pandora shuddered, curling up even tighter. "If you know it's wrong, how
could you do it? You're not some testosterone-soaked idiot. You understand
cause and effect. The only thing I can think of is that maybe, since you
know I won't leave, there'll come a time when what I want stops mattering
to you. You'll have me, anyway, no matter what, so you can have everything
else you want, too."

"I'm saying I don't trust myself." His voice was soft, and then the tone
changed suddenly. "But I don't have to. There's a solution, a simple one. I
should have seen it from the beginning."

Her voice was choked with tears. "_I_ trust you. And I _do_ know you. And I
know, that, as you are now, you would never do that to me. S--so, if she's
right, then you're going to change. And then... then I won't know you
anymore, and if you change that way, then I'm s--scared! Of... how else you
might change." She sobbed, shuddering. "I don't want you to change... I
want you to keep loving me."

"I don't trust me. I'm only human, Pandora. Or... something, anyway. I'm
not perfect. Don't put me up on a pedestal, because if you do, I'll just
fall off. But I know how to keep from hurting you."

"I don't _want_ you to be perfect! I just don't want to believe that you
would hurt me! I _hate_ women who say that 'all guys cheat' and 'they just
think with their dicks' because it's n--not _true_, and you're not like
that, but if _you_ are, then maybe it is and then what's the fucking
_point_?"  She groaned, hitting the bed impotently with her fists. "So what
is it? How do you fix this?"

"Simple. I make sure I _can't_ hurt you, as long as you're honest with me."

"How?"

He reached out, stroking her hair gently. "I don't make the decision. Not
about this sort of thing. You do. I tell them -- all of them -- that they
have to talk to you. Not just the ones I'm tempted by, because that might
put pressure on you, but all of them."

She rolled over, looking up at him, her face tear-streaked, red and
miserable from crying. "Why is that different than just saying 'no'? Why
could you do that if not the other?"

"Because the situation where I'd be most likely to give in would be one
where I'd be hurting them by turning them down. This way, I don't have to.
I tell them I'm flattered, but that they have to talk to you. _You_ turning
them down isn't as likely to hurt them, because it won't be coming from the
person they were attracted to. And if I always give the same answer, I
can't screw up."

Her lips trembled. "you... you mean that? You'd be willing to do that? To
not do it? Really?"

Gabriel nodded. "It's never been a matter of not being willing. It's a
matter of 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'. So if I take the
flesh out of the equation... "

Pandora closed her eyes, relaxing weakly back on the bed. "Oh god. I'm
sorry. I thought... I thought you just weren't willing to... to give it up.
I'm so sorry... "

He touched her cheek. "No. I'm sorry. I didn't understand, or I'd have told
you."

Pandora reached up, cupping her hand over his, rubbing her cheek against
him. "I thought... I thought you were saying that it would be too much to
expect you to turn down."

"No. Just too much to expect me to be able to be perfect." He leaned
forward, kissing her gently. "But the point isn't for me to turn them down,
the point is for me to not hurt you. So I let you turn them down, and I
don't hurt you, and everything works."

Pandora whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry. I... apparently I can't _think_
when it comes to you."

Gabriel chuckled. "Well, we're even, then. I certainly wasn't thinking when
it came to the pizza guy last night."

She smiled shyly up at him. "So... you forgive me? I... I'm sorry. It
just... hurt. And I wasn't thinking."

"There's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong."

She blushed. "Yeah, I did. I threw a fit. A stupid, jealous fit."

"No, you didn't. You were hurt, and you told me." He caressed her cheek
again. "Frankly, I'd rather you did that than not tell me when something
hurts."

Pandora closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, her aura brightening
significantly. "So good," she murmured, "you feel so _good_... " She looked
up at him, finally. "I'm not like that, though. I've never been jealous, or
insecure, or anything like that. I mean... I really don't _mind_ you
looking... it's not a big deal."

"In fact... " She blushed, looking down.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She shook her head. "You'd think I was _awful_."

"No, I won't."

"I... I kind of... it doesn't bother me for them to look at you, either. As
long as they don't get what they want."

Gabriel looked puzzled. "What's so awful about that?"

"Um. It's... um... vain.  It... turns me on, that they'd want you, and be
imagining what I was actually _getting_."

Gabriel chuckled. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"You don't think it's kind of... um... dirty?" She peeked up at him through
her lashes.

"Not really."

"Um. Even if I also... kinda like the idea of... um... well... people
looking at me, too? Not touching," she hurried to reassure him. "Just...
looking. At us together."

"Are you saying you've got an exhibitionistic streak?"

"I... guess. Maybe. I... like the idea of... showing you off. And... of you
thinking I'm worth showing off, too."

Gabriel grinned. "I definitely think you're worth showing off. Maybe we can
go out to some of the more interesting clubs Lissa told me about, once
you're old enough to be legal."

"Oh. Right. I... forgot. I'm sorry."

"Sucks. Still, you're legal in less than two years."

Pandora smiles at him. "No, love. Less than three. For places that are 18,
anyway."

"Well, yeah, but we can be out in public together in less than two." He
grinned. "You _do_ like to dance, right? Because I know some clubs that
don't have age limits."

She seemed a bit hesitant. "I... can dance, yeah."

"So for that year we'll go out and dance together. In public. Where people
can watch."

She bit her lip. "That... might not be a good idea."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you like this, you might want to take a look at Strange Love, an
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Take a look!

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