Message-ID: <53496asstr$1144645801@assm.asstr.org>
From: Shalon Wood <dstar@pele.cx>
Subject: {ASSM} Pandora's Box 6 (Mf Mff MMf rom ws exhib bdsm)
Lines: 460
Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 01:10:01 -0400
Path: assm.asstr.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Standard disclaimers apply; this story may or may not contain, in any
given part, graphic depictions of lesbianism, homosexuality, group sex,
bdsm, underage (teen) sex, magic, occultism, violence, and biting 
sarcasm.  If you're underage, or if for any other reason it's illegal 
for you to read this, or you're disturbed by the content, please don't 
read it.

Archived at http://pandora.pele.cx, and we've got a web-forum at
http://playground.pele.cx/forums as well, for discussion of both
Pandora and our other stories. 

Comments *greatly* appreciated.

Enjoy,

Velvet
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


It was easy to drift off afterwards, snuggled between the clean sheets
with her soft, warm body molded to his, but Gabriel woke only an hour
or two later, completely refreshed, wide awake, and starving.

He lay there in the dark, memories of his dreams coming back to him
and bringing growing confusion.

A sensation of restraint, tugging against bonds too tight to budge,
accompanied by intense arousal, was followed by an image of looking up
into his own face as knife-like claws tore down 'his' back...the pain
intense, overwhelming, but still welcome.  Hands buried in silky black
curls, feeling the texture of them, drawing his head down to a soft
white breast marked with a trail of blood, then the feeling of his
lips fastening on the cut, sucking, bringing a shudder of pleasure.
Other images, as confusing and even shorter, flashed through his mind
as well, an incoherent stream of pleasure bound up in pain, wild
passions barely contained, and a sense that it was all just barely
restrained by a lingering shame.

Gabriel laid there for several minutes, thinking about the dream,
before slipping out of bed, trying not to wake her.

Her aura clung to him...or maybe his clung to her...whichever it was,
they refused to be separated, but instead blended into a tangled mass,
impossible to separate the strands.  As he slid out of bed, the
connection between them stretched, but didn't break.

Gabriel looked at the strands for several moments, before quietly
going into the kitchen and pulling the remains of the pizza from the
fridge. He sat down at the table, finishing off the pizza, and stared
into the darkness, thinking.

It was nearly dawn when he felt her stir in the other room, her
movements tugging on their blended aura as she reached for him, then
sat up abruptly, alarmed when she didn't find him.

Gabriel stood, walking back to the bedroom. "I'm here."

Pandora relaxed back against the bed, tension leaving her. "Where were
you?" she asked softly.

"In the kitchen." He fell silent for a moment, looking at her from the
doorway, and then said, "I think...I think I'd like to show you
something." His voice was subdued, and he seemed unusually sober.

She sat up on her knees, reaching a hand out towards him
unconsciously. "What's wrong?  Did I...do something?"

Gabriel shook his head. "No. It's just...you'll understand."

Her aura swirled around her anxiously as she slipped from the bed and
went to him.  She reached out, a touch hesitantly, and took his
hand. "okay."

Gabriel led her down the hallway, stopping in the middle and facing
the wall. "I haven't been in here since...since Lissa died. I never
thought I'd want to, again."

Pandora looked at him, confused, and just waited quietly for him to
explain.

Gabriel reached up to the torch-shaped lamp on the wall, pulling it
down, and a section of the wall in front of them swung open, revealing
a dark corridor that sloped downwards, curving around to the left and
out of sight.

Pandora blinked, surprised, and looked up at him
uncertainly. "What...?"

"You'll see." He took her hand, and led her into the corridor. Once
they were more than a few steps past the opening, the door swung
closed behind them, leaving them in complete darkness.

Her hand tightened on his nervously, and he could feel her trembling.

Gabriel led her through two and a half complete circles before
stopping. After the first circle, a very faint light came from the
ceiling, giving just enough light to see the floor by, and to
illuminate the wooden door, reinforced with iron bands, which stood at
the end of the hall. Gabriel's hand was tight in hers, and he didn't
speak.

Pandora looked up at him worriedly, her face betraying a touch of
fear. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, consciously
forcing herself to relax before looking up at him again with serene
trust.

"This was Lissa's fantasy." He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong;
the...what we did here was something I enjoyed at least as much as she
did, but this was her dream, her creation from start to finish, not
mine."

"O..kay. Then why did you bring _me_...uh...here?"

Gabriel said, quietly, "You'll understand." He turned to face her,
taking her hands in his, his face shadowed in the faint light. "I want
you to understand. I never thought I'd open this door again. The day
they told me, I came down here and collapsed in front of the door. I
couldn't make myself open it, go through it and see what we'd had
together. This was the one place, the one time when it almost didn't
matter that I wasn't a woman, when I could almost satisfy her, and I
couldn't face it. Too much of what we had was bound up in
here. The...everything is exactly as it was the last time we were in
here. We'd come down...one last time the night before she moved out,
for one final goodbye, and I couldn't face it again. I never expected
to want to. But I do, and I think...I think that's as much of a
miracle as anything else that's happened today."

She slid her arms up around his neck, staring up into his
face. "Gabriel...you don't have to. Whatever's there..." She shook her
head. "You don't have to share it. I'm not here to replace her...I
don't have to have everything. It's okay for you to keep some things
as...just hers. I understand. I don't want to hurt you..."

Gabriel shook his head. "She'd want you to have that." He bit his lip
in the darkness, and light glistened from a tear on his
cheek. "She'd...she'd have liked you. A lot. I just wish..."

Pandora pressed tightly against him. "Oh god...please please...I can't
stand to see you hurt," she whispered brokenly.

"I wish you could have met her. I think you'd have liked her, too." He
reached out, and lifted a large, old-fashioned key from the wall,
pressing it into her hand. "Here. This is yours now."

Pandora looked up at him, confused. "I...don't understand. What do you
want me to do?"

"Open the door and go inside." He squeezed her hand around the key. "I
want you to...to see it first, and decide what you want."

Pandora bit her lip nervously, staring at him for another moment
before nodding.  Still not at all sure it was the right thing to do,
she turned the key and opened the door, with a sense of dread and no
clue what to expect.

The room remained dark until she hesitantly stepped inside. Then
flames burst from ornate iron torch-holders, lighting up the room. It
was large, almost as large as the entire house, with benches and
tables scattered around, and pillars with iron rings inset, some with
chains and manacles dangling from them. Hanging from holders on the
wall, and in some cases laying draped across the tables, was a wide
variety of whips and floggers. Set at various intervals along the wall
were X-frames, some wooden, some metal, one quite obviously designed
to rotate in not just one but two dimensions. The floor was flagstone,
cold under her feet, and there were furs scattered around, some
padded, some not. Off in one corner was a slightly lower area with a
large metal grate inset into the floor, and at the other end was a
fireplace which came to life at the same time as the torches. Chains
dangled from the ceiling, some ending in manacles, others in rings,
and some in wicked looking hooks. Scattered around a bench in the
middle of the room were several dildos, of all shapes and sizes,
including a strap-on and a double-ended dildo, as well as one truly
bizarre looking one which seemed to have a large hook on one end.

Pandora stared, going deathly pale. A variety of expressions flickered
across her face--shock, fear, embarrassment, guilt, and lust--almost
too fast to read.  She trembled, raising a hand to her throat, looking
as if she might bolt at any minute.  Her aura was a maelstrom of
conflict, churning with her confused emotions, flaring bright and wide
one instant, clinging tightly to her skin the next. He could actually
feel her nervousness, like a physical thing, churning in his stomach.
When she spoke at last, her voice was tight and shaky, just a tense,
hoarse whisper. "G..Gabriel...I...I don't know what to say. What...I
don't understand how you...how you knew..."  Her shoulders shook,
hard, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I w..was so careful...I even
used a d..different name...there was nothing to give me away..."

Gabriel looked at her, puzzled. "A different name? For what?"

Pandora said, "To...to post on Secret Gardens. I used an anonymous
email and everything...how...how did you know?"

Gabriel's jaw dropped. "I...didn't. You're on Secret Gardens?"

Pandora wrapped her arms around herself, looking small and scared, and
gave him a tiny nod.

"I didn't have a clue."

She looked up at him, confused, and her voice trembled with
vulnerability. "Then...why? If not because of Bloodsong, then how did
you _know_?"

He stared at her. Bloodsong was a name he was quite familiar with from
Secret Gardens. The board was dedicated to edgy fantasies, with a
strong focus on BDSM. Lissa introduced him to it right after they got
together, and he'd stayed afterwards for the company of people who'd
really known and understood her. Bloodsong had been there as long as
he had....and, thinking about it, he realized that her fantasies fit
perfectly with the little flashes he experienced that night. On the
rare occasions she'd write about them, they were always incredibly
hot, intensely vivid and attractive. He wasn't too surprised he hadn't
identified her, though...because Bloodsong was a different personality
from Siren (though, now that he knew, he could also see
similarities). She was extremely shy, for one thing, and posted only
rarely about her fantasies and even more rarely about her
fears. Something about her had always made him feel certain that she
was a virgin...a total virgin; emotional, physical, and
kink-wise...and he'd even, at times, suspected she might be underage,
but her writing was so mature, so intelligent that he just couldn't
really believe it. Possibly because of her shyness and the way she
gently discouraged anyone expressing interest in her, she was probably
the most pursued female on the board, too.

All of this ran through his head in an instant, and he blurted out,
"You're _Bloodsong_?"

She drew more tightly into herself and nodded jerkily.

"Wow."

Pandora didn't say anything. Just stood there, trembling, waiting for
the rest of his reaction.

Gabriel said, softly, "I dreamed your fantasies. Just flashes, just
enough to know you wanted it...and felt guilty about it." He waved his
hand at the room, still standing outside the door. "Lissa didn't see
any reason to be ashamed. Neither do I."

She looked at him, almost afraid to hope. "I...I'm not ashamed," she
whispered. "I just...it's something I never...never really
_understood_. It was just...there. Whether I wanted it to be or
not. And I always knew that some people..._most_ people...would think
I was sick because of it. That's...that's why I didn't tell you. I
knew you were on there, but...you didn't say much, and when you did it
was about other things not...not this. I wasn't sure how you felt
about it...I didn't want to drive you away."

He stepped forward, halting right at the door. "Lissa and I...we
didn't talk about what we did much. It was...kind of extreme, and,
well..."

Pandora reached out for him, then pulled her hand back
uncertainly. "Do...do you not want me to touch you right now?"

Gabriel said, quietly, "This is your space now. I won't come in
without an invitation."

She shook her head. "What would I do with such a place without you?
It...it would just be empty, cold. Make it mine, if you want, but only
if you're a part of it."

Gabriel smiled. "I just thought...if you knew it was yours, knew I
wouldn't come in without you asking, you'd feel safer here."

Pandora stepped forward, looking up into his eyes. "I'm always safe
with you. If I still sometimes feel afraid...it's of things in me, not
of you. Never of you."

Gabriel said, softly, "I'm not sure. I'm afraid that once you know the
things Lissa and I used to do..."

She laid her head against his chest, sliding her arms around his
waist. "You read the things I posted," she said quietly. "That...that
was just what I had the nerve to admit to. But it doesn't matter what
you want from me...I still know I'm safe with you. Safer than I've
ever been in my life."

Gabriel squeezed her gently. "Then let me tell you." He walked her
over to the fireplace, and reached up and removed one of the metal
rods hanging horizontally above it. "We used these, that last night."
He held it so that she could see it, a branding iron in the shape of a
'G'. "That's hers, up there. So that we'd...we'd always know. Never
forget."

Pandora licked lips suddenly gone dry.	"O..oh."

Gabriel put it back above the fireplace and slipped his arm back
around her waist, walking over to the lowered corner with her. "This
was...Lissa was into watersports." He reached over and picked up a
small box from a shelf, opening it up to reveal a set of razor sharp
knives. "And blood-play. Preferably together."

She swallowed hard, her eyes wide. "O..okay."

Gabriel set the knives back on the shelf, and walked over, picking up
a single-tail from a table. "It took me a long time to learn to use
this properly." He sighed. "And now I bet I have to learn all over."

Her breath caught in her throat.  "No...I...I mean...you don't have
to..."

Gabriel looked at her, smiling, and wriggled his fingers. "Well, not
if you don't want it. But if you do, I bet it's completely different
now."

"I...I didn't say I didn't want to. Just...just that you don't have
to..."

Gabriel looked at his fingers thoughtfully. "You know, I think I might
actually have a lot more control now."

Pandora closed her eyes and shivered. He could tell she was
scared...extremely so...but excited as well, and still incredibly
overwhelmed; she moved like someone uncertain if they were in dream or
reality.

Gabriel stroked her cheek, bending down to kiss her gently. "There's
no hurry. But I wanted you to know."

"I don't know what to say...I...I always hid this. From everyone. No
one knows. Knew. Not even my sister. I...I wouldn't even _joke_ about
it, because I was afraid something would give me away. And...and I am
scared," she admitted softly. "Really, really scared."

Gabriel nodded. "I know. It's...scary. I remember when Lissa first
brought it up, I didn't know how to react. I think we shouldn't do
anything down here for a while, not until you've had time to think
about it, but I wanted you to know it existed."

Pandora looked up at him. "I'm not scared of what you might do to me,
Gabriel." Her eyes stayed locked on his, never wavering. "Pain
is...just another sensation, another level of intensity, another
hunger. I'm willing to hurt for you. Anytime. Now. However you
want. What scares me is...is.."

She tried not to look away, but couldn't help but drop her eyes,
afraid of what she might read in his face as she finished, "Is what
you might think of me--afterwards."

Gabriel tilted his head. "Do you doubt, at all, that I loved Lissa?"

Pandora shook her head slowly.

"That last night...I held her down and raped her. Fucked her ass even
though she was fighting me." He waved his hands at the
restraints. "She liked being forced, fighting me until I overpowered
her. I drug her over there, pried her mouth open, fucked her mouth
until I came, and then pissed in her mouth, making her swallow it." He
looked away for a moment, face tight with pain. "It was...I think it
was the only time I ever truly satisfied her. Do you really think
there's anything you could want that would disgust me?"

Pandora moaned, closing her eyes and hiding her bright red face
against him, shaking hard. "I...I...but I'm n..not her. I might
want...things differently, react differently...I might not be as
strong, or I might be more selfish, or I might not be able to give you
everything you want..."

"You won't disgust me. I promise."

"Maybe not...but I want more than to just be 'not disgusting'. I
want...I want you to want me. I want you to...to be proud of me.  To
be worthy of...of your respect." Her lips trembled. "I want you to be
able to love me."

Gabriel stroked her cheek. "I will be. I promise."

Pandora leaned into his touch. "How can you be so sure? _I'm_ not. The
things I dream about...how could anyone have any respect for someone
who'd let that be done to them?"

"What is it you're afraid of? Wanting me to cut you, to taste your
blood? Something else?"

Pandora closed her eyes. "Everything. My weakness."

"What weakness?"

"The...cravings. The need to...to give that part of myself, to have
someone _take_ it...to be _made_ weak..."

"That's not weakness. That's passion, desire..." He put a finger under
her chin, tilting her head up so that she was looking at him. "Don't
you think that Lissa needed it just as much? Think about it...she
needed it so badly that I could give it to her, even though I was the
wrong sex. Isn't that a pretty intense need?"

"M..most people...they just p..play. They want it to be...be
'safe'. Tied up, but only if they can get loose. 'Hurt' but not so
much it doesn't feel good. They want...a fantasy. An illusion. To
pretend. That's...that's not what I want. And...and that's not very
sane. Even totally twisted perverts think so."

Gabriel looked at her. "What is it you want, then?"

"R..real pain. Real...force. To be able to take it. To...feel it all,
and let it happen...I want to fly..."

Gabriel gestured towards the shelf with the box of knives. "Don't you
think those were real pain?"

"Real isn't in the type of pain, but in the ability to make it stop."

"You want consensual non-con."

"I..don't know. I want to...to have a chance to conquer the pain, to
ride it, to...to win. Which means there has to be a chance that I'll
lose, too."

Gabriel looked thoughtful. "You want to...to be pushed to your limits,
and maybe past them, out far enough where you don't _know_ if you can
take it?"

She nodded hesitantly. "I...I want to find out."

"I...think I can do that for you. I need to think about it for a
while, though."

"Gabriel...I want it. But not more than anything. If you can't, or
even just...can't with _me_...or if it would...would change things,
then it's not worth it. It's not like Lissa. I don't _need_ it. I
don't need anything but what you've already given me...I wouldn't
leave you just to get that. It could never be worth it."

Gabriel smiled. "I like the idea. I never thought I'd find someone
who'd -- who'd interest me that way again, but you do."

She looked down. "I just...didn't want you to think you had to do it
to keep me. You don't. You don't have to do anything. I...I don't
think I _could_ leave you, not anymore."

"I couldn't leave you, either, love." He smiled. "So we have another
thing in common."

Pandora leaned against him, pressing as much flesh against his as
possible. "Gabriel?" she asked, in a small voice. "will you take me
back to bed? And...hold me? For a little while?"

Gabriel nodded. "I will. Or if you want, we can lay on that rug right
there, in front of the fireplace."

Pandora shook her head. "I...thank you. I mean that. But right now...I
feel sort of like...like I'm trespassing here.	I...don't belong, not
yet."

Gabriel pulled her close. "I told you, she'd have wanted you to have
this."

She froze, suddenly terrified stiff against him, eyes going wide.

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If you like this, you might want to take a look at Strange Love, an
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Take a look!

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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