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From: "Silver Clt Nominations" <silver-clt@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {ASSD} January 2006 Silver Clitoride Presentation
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Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 05:10:04 -0500
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The Taverna looks like a war zone. In keeping with the
night before, the waitresses (all bisexual nymphomaniacs)
in their short dresses and the lone waiter also in a short
dress (don't ask) go around the room handing out green
coffee liberally laced with the hair of the dog that bit
them.  Most don't take the offered beverages; they are too
passed out to notice.  Those who take the coffee are too in
need of it to notice that it is green and not of the mind
to wonder how the bartender managed to do it.

Having celebrated fourteen years since the last time I was
drunk the night before, and celebrating fourteen years
since the last time I woke up in jail, I limit myself to
green coffee without dog hair and a plate of corn beef that
the bartender warmed up in the microwave.  I scan the crowd
as they lay in front of tables, over tables, and under
tables.  I've quit wondering if the awards ceremony will be
well received; I've begun to worry if it had been received
at all.

There are few places in this world where one can find a
giant turtle at a table eating corn beef.  There fewer such
places where such a sight would go unnoticed.  But I wonder
how the sight of a giant iguana with spikes glued to her
back could not garner interest.

suzee looks up bleary eyed at me and says, "it's `corned
beef' not `corn beef'.  Listen to me, why don't you."

"Sorry," I answer.  "I don't think this is going well."

"What's going well?"

"The award presentation.  And I said that it's not going
well."

"When's it start?"

"About half an hour ago."

"Did you win?"

"I can't win.  I'm running it this year."

"So that's your excuse."

"It's not an excuse.  It's a reason."

"And very a convenient one, too."

"Anyway, I doubt that anyone was even aware of the song and
dance number by those Windsor strippers that I brought in
to thank Rey and Mike for the good job they did getting the
server back on line.  Not even Mike and Rey."  I sigh.
"And they were dragged up into the number.

"This is the last time I do something like this the day
after Saint Patrick's Day.  Which should be a day for
reflecting on the nature of the Trinity and eating corned
beef, not drinking beer with green food coloring in it
until you pee green."

"You're only saying that because you're sober."

"No."  I glare at her.  "Besides, no one should have gotten
so drunk that they were too hung over to hear that
Winemaker's `The Lady in Blue' won the Silver Clitoride
Award for January 2006."

_________________________________________________________________
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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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