Message-ID: <53102asstr$1139994602@assm.asstr.org>
From: "Franz Kafka" <franzkafka79@hotmail.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Girl Scout Lezzies (humour, Mf, ff implied, mmm implied, political?, no b
Lines: 357
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:10:02 -0500
Path: assm.asstr.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

{ASSM} Girl Scout Lezzies (humour, Mf, ff implied, mmm implied, political?, 
no best)

This attempt to write a story was partly inspired by a feeback comment to 
the Girl Scout Nookies collection webpage. Aside from its sexual content the 
following text may offend you because of its political incorrectness, though 
the story is more or less on-topic. The story also has a slightly political 
content, therefore it is coded 'political', what certainly causes an 
increasement in readership/feedback.

If you're under 18, go away (or avoid to get caught in the act). Void to all 
fuckwits in Washington, at the FBI, and elsewhere. If you're a Taliban or 
living in Iran, Iraq, or other areas in the world, in which an open mind is 
unappreciated, go to your local prayer and please him for punishment. All my 
other standard disclaimers apply as well: Protect yourself. Ever use a 
condom. Never trust a stranger. Don't use drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink 
and drive. Don't drink anyway. Don't play silly plays. Don't fool around. 
Stay at home. Die from boredom.



From anonymouse reader's feedback to the GSN website:

>Ok, you've got M/F+, M/g+, and M/f+.  But no one thought about b/F+ or 
>m/F+?
>Has anyone mentioned these ideas?  I know, GSN is based on girl scouts, but 
>after all, women do go out and try to raise for charities.  Also, you can't 
>tell me no one thought about how George Bush's supporters COULD have raised 
>all that money.



Dear Anonymouse,

If I was Frank McCoy, I could tell you the story about three girl scout 
mommies, searching for their girl scout kiddies and accidently finding out, 
that Kevin was alone at home. They would seduce him with cookies, so he 
opens the door, lets them in, and soon he would get fucked until the end of 
the story. See, on the other hand, this story won't tell you aynway, how 
Dubya's supporters have raised all the money, so I will tell you rather 
another one.




As usual I visited the Red 5 club. It was right before the weekend. My 
girlfriend was away to an convention in Prague and won't return until Sunday 
afternoon. My alternative schedule was, that I won't return home until 
Sunday afternoon as well, going out into the club, which was opened 24/7. I 
intended to get drunken. Life was good.

The bar keeper still was stupid (it was the same, who bought the thesaurus 
from the gay boy scouts some months ago. (You see, that the cited reader's 
feedback isn't completely correct.) That was in the spring, but now it was a 
terrible fall, the days became shorter and shorter and the winter was ahead.

I ordered a whisky. "Jameson, please!"

"I don't believe that Jenna Jameson will dance tonight..."

Nope. If she was here, certainly the bar would be so crowded, that the owner 
could afford a better keeper.

I poured the drink down fastly and ordered another. Deeply I inhaled the air 
in the club. I smelled a mixture of Marlboro and Maryjane. Life was good.

Soon I ordered the next and the overnext drink.

For a while I talked to the woman who sat on a chair on my right. She was 
plump, so I ordered yet another whisky. Well, against all odds, she didn't 
turn into a gorgeous woman with knock-out knockers, even the fifth drink 
didn't changet that.

"What'sa ya name?" she said, tongue-tied from the alco...ho-ho-how-doyado 
... alcohol.

She smiled at me. Did she try to hook me up? Oh my dear! Life wasn't the 
best, tonight.

"I am Mickey Mouse," I said. She was pissed and turned away. Life was still 
good.

Suddenly, the door opened and three girl scouts entered the club. Definitely 
they were underage, but not under the law and definitely their scout 
uniforms were more sexy than usual. It was a pity, that I had left my new 
cell phone with the built-in digital camera at home, otherwise I could have 
sent some pictures to Kenny. They were even nicer than the three girl scouts 
I met and fucked in an almost insane debauchery several months ago. When I 
met Radka, Vladka, and Katka I came in contact with the cookie selling 
movement for the first time in my life. Whatsayaname on my right was 
forgotten the same nanosecond the girls sat down on a table behind me.

After the barkeeper took their orders -- three double vodkas -- he didn't 
bother if they were allowed to drink or not -- as usual. They poured down 
the drinks in a glance and two of them went for the restroom. Actually, it 
was the blonde and the redhead. The blackhaired stayed alone at the table. 
She was the prettiest of them and had piercing blue eyes. She looked like a 
body double for the porn actress Tania Russof, who was famous almost as many 
years back as my company had ordered me into this almost forgotten corner of 
the world. If you know this actrice, you will understand, that I was 
stunned.

The two girls didn't return for a while and the blue-eyed raven-haired made 
eye-contact with me. I smiled and ordered her another drink. She stood up, 
approached, and cheered up her glass of vodka with my whisky.

"Thank you for buying me a drink. By the way, I am Marina and my friends are 
Darina and Karina."

"Karina is the red-head?" I asked.

She nodded. "How did you figure it out?"

"I didn't. It was only a shot into the dark. Nice to meet you, Marina. What 
are you doing here, you and your friends?"

"We're collecting funds for charity."

"Sorry, my dear, I don't need a Thesaurus and this stupid bar keeper already 
bought one, when Karel, Havel, and Pavel mad their visit."

"Oh, the queers!" she laughed.

"Yep. You know them?"

Marina laughed again. "Yes, who won't know them. Do you know that they got 
busted?"

"Did Mr. Gamera finally sue them for copyright infringement?" I asked.

She shooked her head. "No. They got arrested in Crawford, Texas, while 
collecting money for Dubya."

"Who would do so," I wondered, "I mean I won't do it, but I don't see a 
problem in fund-raising in general. What they've been accused for? Fraud?"

"No. Obscenity. You know, War on Porn."

My eyes widened.

She continued. "Actually, they were dressed as..."

"Girl scouts?"

"Worse! They dressed up as sexy Texas college cheerleaders! They dressed 
high-heeled boots and the skimpiest cheerleader uniforms they could find. 
They shaved their legs. They even stuffed the cups of their bras with toilet 
paper."

"That's really pervert," I stated, reminding how I had surprised them in the 
restroom, fucking and sucking each other.

When we poured down the next round of drinks, I discovered, that Marina 
didn't stuff her cups. That was evident. As far as I was able to peek south, 
she didn't wear any bra. Life was good.

"Not at all. Obscenity actually occured only, when the local congress 
critter got involved. He grabbed all three of them on their ass and pushed 
his hand up-skirt. It was _he_, who made it a scandal. Discovering, that 
Pavel, Havel, and Karel had cocks between their legs instead of cunts, made 
him crying for the authorities. Though, he hasn't thought about the local AP 
representative. She made the news its way to CNN and Court TV quick."

"That sucks!"

"Nope! Any of them sucked the congress man, but _he_ licked someone's ass in 
Washington. His contact talked certainly to Mr. Woodward, who talked to Mr. 
Rove and soon it was spreaded over the West Wing into the Oval Office. Who 
knows, what else got spreaded with the news. For what I know, the congress 
man went nuts only because of a red rose."

"A red rose? Would a normally educated man who passes the Miller Test go 
nuts because of a red rose?"

"Obviously he did," Marina said. "Maybe he was a queer himself." She 
shrugged.

"Most certainly," I concluded and the girl changed the subject of our 
conversation.

"So Pavel, Karel, and Havel acted weird, when they were here?"

"It was pretty weird, what they did in the rest-room." I don't know why, but 
after Marina told me, that her birthday was January 10th, I lost any 
hesitations, forgot Shakespeare and the merchant, who visited me earlier 
that day. I went over the rubicon. "Do you wanna fuck with me all night 
long, tomorrow, and also Sunday morning?"

"Do you think you're good enough? Do you have enough Viagra?" she giggled.

"No need. This is a sex story and, I am the writer. So I can have as much 
stamina as I need for handling all sex scenes in the stories. By the way, I 
am Franz."

"Hold on -- you are _Mr. Kafka_, the well-known writer, who brought the Red 
5 stories to the world?" she called out enthusiastically, with her eyes wide 
shut in disbelief.

I didn't consider my writing as so outstanding, but who I was to turn a fan 
down? Nope!

I simply nodded. Marina wasn't offended and I hoped, she would act like a 
rock star groupie, giving me a blowjob now and here and join me for the rest 
of the weekend. Life was good. Well, at least, until my girlfriend returned 
and I had to throw Marina out of the flat. Sunday afternoon.

"I read all your reviews of Mr. Scipio's Summer Camp," she said, leaning 
forward, showing off her cleavage. She wasn't Pamela Anderson, but what I 
saw was impressive enough for letting my cock itch. My treacherous organ was 
ready to fuck this lovely young lady. It was ready to intrude her hot wet 
love tunnel, banging her like crazy, getting her ready, when I was hitting 
her g-spot.

Watching into her gleaming eyes was like snoring a line and waves of heat 
went through my body. My mind began to fly away, taking her with me into my 
love nest, doing all the obscene things, which are described in those nasty 
stories at the ASSTR archive, over and over. I would tie her up, spank her 
ass, and put her into rubber, while she was begging for more and more. I 
would use all her orifices, would spurt my cum into her pussy, up her ass, 
and down her throat.

"So you are the fanatic sex-addict, fucking all the girls in this bar," she 
continued and jumped up. "That's amazing. May I come with you and fuck your 
brains out of you?"

She was fast, but I had hoped it. I didn't expect it going so quick and so 
easy. Soon Marina and I were kissing. My hands were fondling her boobs. She 
throbbed my cock through the trousers. My fingers were on target, searching 
her nipples and her lower lips. Our tongues wrestled with each other, 
pretending hot oral sex, drizzling cum, the whole stuff of stroke as stroke 
can in adult stories. In my mind I saw my cock, twice bigger as it was in 
reality and much harder than ever. I was piercing her most private parts and 
shooting my seed into her fertile womb. I had condoms in stock, so I won't 
get her pregnant, if I didn't want to do so. I wasn't Homer Vargas, so that 
wasn't planned, but shit can happen.

Fucking the whore, drilling the pussy of this slut, shoving my cock into her 
ass, pushing it down her throat, making her gag on my cock, and cumming on 
her face with my amazing cum, that was my desire. We would have an 
everlasting sexparty -- until Sunday.

Though, my face expressed my concerns. I wondered about Marina's friends, 
who had left for the restroom, and were missed for some 18 minutes.

"What about Darina and Karina?" I asked.

"Oh don't worry. Karina and Darina are old enough ... they won't mind." Her 
voice was husky now, proposing hot steamy sex. She talked to me like Marilyn 
in Rick's American Bar to Philip Marlowe. Play it again Jim, like in that 
night in Bangkok, when El Cid met Cleopatra. Was that the beginning of a 
great friendship? Life was good.

"Let's leave." Marina's eyes sparkled now at me.

I was reluctant to deny her wish! I stood up, not bothering with the hard-on 
in my trousers, which must have been visible for the other guests, 
Whatsayaname, and the barkeeper.

Marina smiled to him. "May I leave this fund-raising forms here?" she said, 
rolling her eyes in a way, which could melt ice in hell. She left a pile of 
paper on the desk. "We have to collect 30,000 dollars to bail out our boy 
scout friends."

"Off course, young lady. I even would buy a thesaurus, or whatever you 
offer." He was really stupid. Very stupid.

"A thesaurus?" Marina asked.

"Yes," the keeper answered, as I gave him two-thousand crowns. It was too 
much money -- what she had ordered, couldn't be 287 crowns and each set of 
Jameson and Coke made seventy-nine -- I had seven, so altogether it was 998 
crowns. He got tipped with what was the equivalent of almost 40 dollars -- 
more than he deserved in a month. But I didn't care. Life was good.

"Girl scouts are selling thesauruses to geeks and barkeepers. As a 
compensation, they give free blowjobs," he continued.

"There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Blowjob", I interupted, but the keeper 
didn't notice me and continued.

"Off course, there is!" he protested. "All moderators of ASSM get them twice 
per week. It's done by Sara, who is serving there. Except for Ruj Jorge, who 
is a soccer player at Benfica Porto or FC Lisbon in his real life, I don't 
remember. And, one of the main columnists of ASSD, Mr. Gamera, once said, 
you shouldn't hecate a second to buy a thesaurus. Otherwise you loose the 
chance to get a free blowjob or to be fucked by a girl scout. Also you're 
going high risk, that the girls will hit you with a hard-core edition of 
Frank Downey's Complete Works."

The urge in me to hit _him_ with such a hard-cover edition, if it ad 
existed, grew from second to second. It was time to get out of this crazy 
club!

Marina asked him, "how can you know all these things?"

"I read it. Alexis in Kamchatka and Gary Lebanon discussed it in the usenet. 
There is also another writer from downunder, Mr. Dogzmarek, who is very 
active. Mr. Spock, who is one of the most frequent posters to 
fbi.sex.stories.moderated, even wrote stories about Goldilocks." I couldn't 
believe what I heard.

The barkeeper's face was very earnest, when he continued. "I believe, that 
also Donald Rumsfeld, who works in the Pendragon in Washington, has bought a 
thesaurus. Certainly he sometimes is using it. Otherwise, how could he have 
found out about the lame duck! How would he know, that WMD is a short for 
'Dubya means danger'. Just for the record, Mr. Bush hasn't bought any and 
that get him into problems. Heck, that's the reason, why he didn't know 
about Carlito's way and why he nominated him as a new judge for the 
Superbowl Court. He didn't want to fight with the King Kong, to free Jane, 
when she was captured by Tarzan, who forced her to pose with the GIs, 
sitting with that helmet aside the artillery. He rather joined the National 
Guard, because he wanted to invade Iraq. That was a good idea, because with 
this decision, he made it easier for Saddam Bin Ladin, to hide all the 
weapons in Hanoi. Anyway, if Mr. Bush had a thesaurus handy, Monica 
Strawinski wouldn't have told about her blue dress to Linda Loverlace, but 
reported directly to Bob Woodward."

He was even more stupid than I could have imagined in my most terrible 
nightmares. Within one sentence he messed up history and politics of at 
least three decades and his grammar was terrible to understand. I guess, 
this barkeeper would buy cookies even by men in black. Anyway, it was time 
to fade away, time to leave like a F4, taking the sex kitten into my bed 
like a deserted slave. It never rains in Southern California, but it was 
time to get my cock in action and the custom-made glass dildo my girlfriend 
left behind.

"Won't we have to tell Darina and Karina?" I asked, turning to Marina.

"They're grown up enough for fucking their way home on their own," she 
answered. "You won't have any joy with them. Karina is a lezzie and Darina 
doesn't mind. Let's go." Whatsayaname shot a dirty view at me, when Marina 
and I hooked our arms. Life was good.

The last thing I heard, when we left, was the keeper's voice. "I thought, 
that Lassie was a collie. I must get her autograph!"



A HTML version of this story is at:
http://www.geocities.com/franzkafka79/gslezz.html

My story index is at:
http://www.geocities.com/franzkafka79/stories.html

"Girl Scout Nookies" collection site at:
/~denny


(c) 2006 FranzKafka79. All rights reserved. Maybe archived at ASSM.
The right to archive this story attempt on the GSN collection website is 
explicitly granted.
This text is a parody. As a result, similarities to real persons aren't 
totally coincidental but thouroughly intended.

_________________________________________________________________
Emotikony a pozadi programu MSN Messenger ozivi vasi konverzaci. 
http://messenger.msn.cz/

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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